| [00:00.00] | hey you guys |
| [00:02.11] | hey what are you doing |
| [00:03.51] | oh figuring out our wedding plans |
| [00:04.83] | thats fines we are doing the same thing |
| [00:06.59] | yeah |
| [00:09.04] | it's really cracy |
| [00:10.17] | the hall the dress the food |
| [00:12.58] | I have no idea how expensive this stuff was |
| [00:15.28] | yeah it is really pricey |
| [00:16.76] | I freaked when I heared the numbers |
| [00:18.13] | so,what did you two do about it |
| [00:19.64] | it was simple . |
| [00:20.70] | I came up with some cost-cutting solutions |
| [00:22.75] | wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell |
| [00:25.35] | There is no way around of you |
| [00:28.72] | Just accept the fact this is gonna cost a lot of money |
| [00:31.40] | I heard that weddings are |
| [00:32.91] | lke a 40billion a year industry |
| [00:35.08] | yeah and i am responsible for just like half of that |
| [00:38.41] | but really it does seem like this money could be put to better use |
| [00:43.16] | are you serious |
| [00:45.11] | yeah now how would you feel if we give all the wedding money to charity |
| [00:48.50] | and we just got married at City Hall? |
| [00:50.41] | I think it would make me wanna marry you even more |
| [00:53.06] | Well I gotta say you guys |
| [00:57.68] | that's an incredible gesture |
| [00:59.77] | Maybe you do that next time you get married |
| [01:01.09] | nonono the next time's gonna be Hawaii at sunset |
| [01:07.05] | But maybe the time after that |
| [01:45.45] | hey hey |
| [01:52.36] | what's going on |
| [01:53.27] | our adoption sacial worker is coming by today |
| [01:55.60] | so we are cleaning the apartment |
| [01:56.83] | we? |
| [01:59.59] | you konw you don't want me to help |
| [02:01.19] | you can't have it both ways |
| [02:02.95] | hey is this the person who decides whether or not you get a baby? |
| [02:07.53] | Kind of |
| [02:08.24] | She's coming by and view us to see where we live |
| [02:10.54] | And it has to go perfectly |
| [02:11.57] | because she doesn't like something about us |
| [02:13.04] | she can keep us off every adoption list in the state |
| [02:15.57] | Hey maybe I should stop by |
| [02:17.06] | She could be a soap-opera fan |
| [02:18.19] | It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity |
| [02:21.69] | Little people? |
| [02:25.23] | Celebrity |
| [02:28.01] | Ok,I think I'm just about done here |
| [02:29.80] | Unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere |
| [02:32.65] | like porn or cigarettes |
| [02:35.15] | what |
| [02:36.95] | No Chandler |
| [02:43.64] | I don't and I'm offended by the insinuation |
| [02:46.45] | OK,So there's not a magazine under the couch |
| [02:51.79] | or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank |
| [02:53.40] | or a filthy video in the VCR |
| [02:55.00] | I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine |
| [02:58.48] | but that tape is not mine |
| [02:59.66] | is it mine? |
| [03:02.13] | I guess we'll never know whose it is |
| [03:11.59] | May I help you |
| [03:13.58] | Yes |
| [03:14.83] | We're here to make a rather sizable donation to the children |
| [03:17.18] | Well any contribution,large or small is appreciated |
| [03:19.69] | Well,I think you are gonna appreciate the crap out of this one |
| [03:22.03] | Well,this is very generous |
| [03:24.61] | And we don't want any recognition |
| [03:26.32] | This is completely anonymous |
| [03:28.42] | Completely anonyous |
| [03:29.64] | from two kind strangers |
| [03:31.36] | Mr.X and Phoebe Buffay |
| [03:33.49] | If you like we can include your names in our newsletter |
| [03:37.51] | Not necessary |
| [03:38.63] | Buffay is spelled BUFFAY |
| [03:41.02] | And X is spelled ,uh,Mike Hannigan |
| [03:45.99] | All right ,well,on behalf of the children,thank you both very much |
| [03:49.55] | Sure,I'm glad we did this .it feels so good |
| [03:52.26] | It does,it feels really good. |
| [03:53.66] | Oh,look,and we can get these free T-shirts |
| [03:56.54] | Actually,that's the shirt I wore to the gym |
| [03:59.19] | It's moist |
| [04:05.56] | Hi,Emma will be up in a minute |
| [04:07.58] | oh good |
| [04:08.58] | oh hey Ross,listen,I heared about you and Charlie. |
| [04:10.75] | I'm really sorry |
| [04:12.38] | Aw,that's okey. |
| [04:13.70] | I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there |
| [04:16.96] | Absolutely |
| [04:18.05] | There was one ,she is it |
| [04:19.80] | All the rest look like they should live under a bridge |
| [04:22.55] | So,uh,what are you gonna do today? |
| [04:27.36] | Well,I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground |
| [04:29.77] | oh my god what |
| [04:31.98] | Like I said ,I was thinking of taking Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire |
| [04:38.31] | Okey,look Rose.I do not want Emma going to playground |
| [04:46.23] | Because? |
| [04:51.50] | All right ,if you must know ,I had a traumatic... |
| [04:54.25] | ...swing incident when I was little |
| [04:59.42] | Seriously? |
| [05:00.89] | Yes,I was 4 years old |
| [05:01.79] | and I was on the swing |
| [05:03.91] | and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain |
| [05:07.99] | And to get me out ,my mom had to cut a big chunk of my hair |
| [05:13.30] | And it was uneven for weeks |
| [05:17.87] | And you made it through that? |
| [05:27.72] | I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie |
| [05:30.92] | Okey,fine,you can make fun of me.I do not want Emma going there |
| [05:36.51] | And I was thinkig Claire Danes |
| [05:38.83] | Look,I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy |
| [05:43.63] | Okey?but the swings are perfectly safe.And besides,Emma loves them |
| [05:46.94] | You know that,you should come with us,and you'll see |
| [05:48.76] | Those things going 40 miles an hour |
| [05:51.24] | Okey when you at that moment when you're at the top |
| [05:54.76] | when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to Earth |
| [05:59.92] | Space is filling with orbiting children |
| [06:05.08] | Look,please just come on |
| [06:08.90] | you know,When you see the look on Emma's face,I swear you won't regret it |
| [06:12.95] | All right |
| [06:16.36] | Good |
| [06:17.30] | You don't wanna be a mothers who pass on their irrational fears to their children,do you? |
| [06:21.67] | "irrational"huh? |
| [06:22.68] | All right I will be remember that next time you freak out about a spider in your apartmennt |
| [06:26.61] | Oh yeah,that's the same.I'm sure there are 30 different species of poisonous swings |
| [06:34.25] | Oh my god The adoption lady is early |
| [06:37.89] | Okey okey here we go |
| [06:40.85] | Okey here we go |
| [06:41.91] | Stand up straight |
| [06:42.91] | Big smile |
| [06:43.87] | Hello Is this the Creepy residence? |
| [06:50.53] | We're waiting for the adoption lady. |
| [06:51.60] | But,hey I'm glad you're here |
| [06:53.05] | I was cleaning this morning and I found this |
| [06:55.62] | I don't know if you wanna use it ,but... |
| [06:58.75] | Oh,this is so sweet of you |
| [07:02.04] | Oh,but you know I won't be needing a veil.I actually won't be wearing a dress at all |
| [07:06.61] | I told you ,I am not coming to a naked wedding |
| [07:08.98] | No no no.we're not having a big reception |
| [07:11.78] | We took the money we were gonna spend on the wedding and we donated to a children's charity |
| [07:15.54] | that's crazy |
| [07:19.43] | I am sorry.I just I can't imagine giving up my one wedding day like that |
| [07:24.22] | Yeah,well,we're different.You know I don't care about having a huge party |
| [07:27.10] | This is really nice for you but... |
| [07:29.96] | Oh,please.I put this on and,ugh,I just look like |
| [07:33.92] | Well,radiant |
| [07:34.99] | All right,but who cares?You know,I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress |
| [07:42.05] | That's right,you're making a commitment |
| [07:44.17] | And you know,that's the same whether you do it at the Plaza or... |
| [07:47.53] | Where you gonna do it? |
| [07:50.06] | City Hall |
| [07:50.98] | Oh,that sounds nice |
| [07:54.38] | I was just there for jury duty.They've really spruced that place up |
| [07:58.72] | Ok,ok,it's ok,I've made my decision |
| [08:03.41] | But I really want is a great big wedding |
| [08:06.34] | Oh yeah |
| [08:07.96] | But you gave all the money to charity |
| [08:11.26] | Well,I'll just ask for it back |
| [08:13.00] | I don't think you can do that |
| [08:16.35] | Why not |
| [08:17.23] | This is her wedding day.That's way more important than some stupid kids |
| [08:21.09] | That's sweet honey but save something for adoption lady |
| [08:33.86] | All right be careful |
| [08:36.16] | watch her hair watch her hair |
| [08:38.08] | Rach,she's got,like,three hair |
| [08:42.41] | I know,I know ,but they are just so beautiful |
| [08:45.63] | Oh,my god ,I just pulled one out |
| [08:48.61] | I promise you she is safe okey? watch how much she loves this |
| [08:52.68] | Are you ready sweet here we go |
| [08:56.34] | She is smiling |
| [09:07.56] | Look at that ,she does like it |
| [09:24.57] | Okey ,get the camera.It's in the diaper bag |
| [09:28.12] | See?Scared of the swings .I bet you feel pretty silly.Aah |
| [09:38.78] | We are seriously asking for the money back? |
| [09:40.71] | It's for our wedding day |
| [09:42.48] | All right now,Is this guy gay or straight? Cause one of us has to start fliring |
| [09:46.75] | Wow,you here to make another donation the same day? |
| [09:50.50] | I don't think that's ever happened before |
| [09:52.22] | Gay go |
| [09:55.05] | Oh god I love your shirt |
| [10:00.73] | The donation we made earlier,we want it back |
| [10:05.82] | Excuse me ? |
| [10:08.76] | See,okey,that money was for a big wedding we thought we didn't want but it turns out we do |
| [10:13.80] | So you are asking us to refund your donation to the children |
| [10:17.80] | Yeah |
| [10:20.01] | This feels really good |
| [10:26.25] | I am sorry,you know,this wedding is just really important to me |
| [10:29.61] | It's not my business.Besides,this is probably s good thing |
| [10:34.01] | We've really been spoiling the children,what with all the food and warm clothing |
| [10:37.11] | That's not fair |
| [10:41.30] | A person's wedding is important,And especially to me |
| [10:43.94] | Okey,I didn't have a graduation party.And I didn't go to prom |
| [10:48.13] | And I spent my sweet 16 being chased around a tire yard... |
| [10:51.52] | by an escaped mental patient who,in his own words,wanted to kill me or whatever |
| [10:56.71] | So I deserve a real celebration |
| [11:02.22] | And I'm not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it |
| [11:06.49] | She could've been talking about either one of us |
| [11:19.15] | Hi,Iam Laura .I'm here for your adoption interview |
| [11:22.79] | Hi I am Monica,And this is Chandler |
| [11:25.63] | Please come in . |
| [11:26.54] | Thank you |
| [11:27.72] | Would you like something to drink? |
| [11:29.18] | Oh,water would be fine |
| [11:30.69] | We're so glad that you're here |
| [11:32.88] | We're really excited about getting this process started |
| [11:36.24] | Because we love kids ,love them to death |
| [11:39.53] | Well,not actually to death .that's just a figure of speech |
| [11:42.79] | We love kids the appropriate amount .. |
| [11:44.78] | as allowed by law |
| [11:48.58] | Your place is just lovely |
| [11:52.28] | Thank you |
| [11:53.26] | yes,this building does have a wholesome,family feel to it |
| [11:56.81] | I feel like I've been here before |
| [12:00.25] | Are any other couples in the building adopting? |
| [12:02.30] | Is that couple on the first floor? |
| [12:04.03] | Because we should get a baby before them |
| [12:07.30] | That guy tried to sell me drugs |
| [12:10.44] | But other than that ,wholesome ,wholesome building |
| [12:15.03] | I just realized why I remember this place |
| [12:20.44] | Really?What is it? |
| [12:22.48] | Oh it's nothing |
| [12:23.70] | I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building.it didn't end very well |
| [12:25.07] | That wouldn't ,by any chance, be Joey Tribbiani? |
| [12:29.69] | Yes ! |
| [12:30.52] | Of course it was |
| [12:34.03] | We had a really great night and in the morning he promised me to call me but he didn't |
| [12:38.08] | Rat bastard! |
| [12:39.51] | So you are friends with him? |
| [12:42.60] | no...nope |
| [12:53.79] | Well,I am sorry I brought it up |
| [12:57.58] | So are either one of you planning on staying at home? |
| [12:59.24] | Hello?Anybody in there order a celebrity? |
| [13:04.58] | What was that? |
| [13:08.66] | That's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here |
| [13:13.54] | He's great with kids,though |
| [13:23.10] | Ross,Oh my god ,are you okay? |
| [13:25.20] | Son of a *****! |
| [13:28.73] | Oh,relax,I didn't say the F-word |
| [13:36.11] | Ross,see,I told you !Those swings are evil! |
| [13:39.40] | All right that is it |
| [13:40.10] | That's the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life |
| [13:43.69] | No..Okey,it wasn't the swing's fault .it was my fault |
| [13:48.01] | And kind of that kid's fault |
| [13:51.15] | He is still laughing .Nice |
| [13:54.18] | Come on.Can we just get out of here before somebody else gets hurt? |
| [13:57.37] | No,okey okey,wait, I have an idea. |
| [13:59.05] | I want you to get on the swing |
| [14:00.79] | and and you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of |
| [14:04.67] | I know what this is all about |
| [14:09.83] | You've always been jealous of my hair |
| [14:13.67] | I just think you're an adult ? |
| [14:15.58] | And you should get over your silly fears |
| [14:18.01] | All right ,fine,I'll do it |
| [14:19.96] | Good |
| [14:21.14] | If you hold a spider |
| [14:22.09] | Where?where |
| [14:24.67] | If you hold a spider |
| [14:26.75] | I know |
| [14:35.58] | Guys,is everything okay?It's me ,Joey |
| [14:37.82] | Adoption! |
| [14:44.10] | What's going on? |
| [14:45.78] | Oh,it's just like I said,that crazy |
| [14:48.83] | Bert,roaming the halls |
| [14:51.06] | Guys? |
| [14:52.38] | Keep on roaming,Bert! |
| [14:54.82] | We don't want any crazy today |
| [14:59.37] | What's going on? |
| [15:00.31] | We'll talk later,Bert.Everying's fine! |
| [15:02.21] | Everything doesn't sound fine |
| [15:06.95] | Is he all right out there by himself? |
| [15:08.59] | Oh,yeah.he has a caretaker.His older brother.. |
| [15:11.12] | ..Ernie |
| [15:15.82] | Bert and Ernie? |
| [15:17.65] | You can't make this stuff up. |
| [15:19.79] | You never told me ahout that guy and your sweet 16 |
| [15:24.54] | I'm sorry ahout that |
| [15:26.38] | Oh,it ended okey |
| [15:28.04] | One of my friend shot him |
| [15:31.56] | Well,at least you'll get a proper wedding.You deserve that |
| [15:34.88] | Yeah.I really do.You know,I had nothing growing up |
| [15:37.98] | Just like the kids I took the money from |
| [15:44.27] | No,no,no,I see where this is going.Don't make me go back there |
| [15:50.28] | Look,I can't have a wedding with this money now.It's tainted. |
| [15:53.87] | All right,fine,we'll give the money back |
| [15:57.13] | And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time |
| [15:59.00] | My friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time |
| [16:04.87] | Well,I must say this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in |
| [16:08.22] | By the way,You are more that welcome to look under any of the furniture |
| [16:11.37] | because,believe me,you won't find any porn or cigarettes under here |
| [16:15.95] | Before we look around,let me make sure I have everything I need up to here |
| [16:26.36] | Why don't I show you the baby's room |
| [16:33.95] | What the hall are you doing? |
| [16:35.19] | You wouldn't let me in,I thought you were in trouble |
| [16:36.69] | Well,we're not |
| [16:37.91] | But you called me Bert |
| [16:38.92] | That's our code word for danger |
| [16:42.52] | We don't have a code word |
| [16:45.75] | We don't? |
| [16:46.68] | We really should |
| [16:49.25] | For now on Bert will be our code word for danger |
| [16:54.11] | So that was the baby's room |
| [16:55.62] | Uh,what room should we see next? |
| [16:59.74] | Any room that isn't behind this couch |
| [17:03.00] | Some people don't get him,but I think he's really funny |
| [17:15.55] | I did not care for that |
| [17:19.28] | You have to get out of here |
| [17:20.44] | You slept with our social worker and never called her back |
| [17:23.08] | She is still pissed,so she can't see you |
| [17:25.28] | Okay okay |
| [17:27.19] | What? |
| [17:30.96] | I forgot my bat |
| [17:33.56] | Oh my god |
| [17:37.90] | And for the last time ,we do not want to be friends with you |
| [17:44.48] | And we don't wanna buy your bat |
| [17:48.84] | What are you doing here? |
| [17:50.07] | Bert Bert Bert Bert |
| [17:56.97] | Are you friends with him? |
| [17:57.96] | I can explain |
| [17:59.26] | Joey |
| [18:03.65] | Ok,Uh |
| [18:05.24] | You,have got some nerve coming back here |
| [18:14.65] | I can't believe you never called me |
| [18:15.83] | Excuse me? |
| [18:16.70] | Probably you don't even remember my name |
| [18:19.67] | It's Joey,by the way |
| [18:21.57] | And don't bother telling me yours,because I totally remember it,lady |
| [18:27.72] | I waited weeks for you to call me |
| [18:30.15] | I give you my number but you never called me |
| [18:32.22] | Don't try to turn this around on me |
| [18:33.70] | I am not some kind of social work |
| [18:39.34] | Then you can just do |
| [18:45.01] | I am pretty sure I gave you my number |
| [18:47.63] | Really think about it come on |
| [18:49.94] | Your're a beautiful woman .Smart ,funny |
| [18:52.93] | We had a really good time |
| [18:54.88] | If I had your number,why wouldn't I call you? |
| [18:59.30] | I don't know |
| [19:03.23] | Well,maybe I'm wrong.I'm sorry |
| [19:05.64] | No no ,you are not wrong,too late for apologies |
| [19:08.65] | Okay?you broke my heard |
| [19:10.91] | You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? |
| [19:13.14] | Joey,wait? |
| [19:18.81] | No! |
| [19:19.98] | I waited a long time!I can't wait anymore |
| [19:26.06] | I am sorry that you had to see that.I'm so embarrassed |
| [19:29.47] | Oh,that's really okay. |
| [19:31.00] | Yeah.We totally understand it |
| [19:32.96] | Dating is hard |
| [19:34.84] | Boy,you people are nice |
| [19:36.28] | And I've got to say |
| [19:41.12] | I think you're going to make excellent parents |
| [19:47.61] | Lauro! |
| [19:55.01] | We are back |
| [19:56.54] | Are you here to take more money? |
| [20:00.65] | Because I think what you're looking for is an ATM |
| [20:04.59] | No,no,we're here to give the money back |
| [20:06.67] | Yeah.Because you know what? |
| [20:09.61] | It's all about children |
| [20:10.90] | Although it's also about the wedding |
| [20:14.82] | All right,here,no,oh,god |
| [20:17.80] | If I haven't said so already,sir,congratulations |
| [20:21.77] | Okay,look,enough,all right |
| [20:24.31] | I'm stepping in and putting my foot down |
| [20:25.73] | As your future husband,I'm gonna make this decision for us |
| [20:30.16] | What do you think we should do? |
| [20:33.50] | It's not your decision anymore |
| [20:35.79] | What? |
| [20:36.70] | On behalf of children of New York,I reject your money |
| [20:39.53] | But we are giving you this. |
| [20:42.36] | And I'm giving it back to you |
| [20:44.18] | Come on.Consider it a contribution |
| [20:47.21] | Well,this is very generous |
| [20:51.09] | Please,take the check |
| [20:52.33] | Go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together |
| [20:54.57] | Sounds good to me.We can save up,come back and make an even bigger donation |
| [20:59.88] | Absolutely |
| [21:00.50] | And when you do,ask for Brian |
| [21:02.50] | Oh,is that you? |
| [21:03.62] | No |
| [21:08.39] | Hello |
| [21:10.32] | Oh,hi |
| [21:12.90] | Oh,my god,really? |
| [21:17.30] | I can't wait to tell Chandler |
| [21:18.72] | Okay,goodby |
| [21:20.09] | Wrong number? |
| [21:23.24] | That was Laura |
| [21:23.90] | She gave us a great report and we're officially on the waiting list |
| [21:30.06] | That's great! |
| [21:30.46] | Now we just wait for a call and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us |
| [21:46.09] | Hello? |
| [21:47.53] | Have you seen Joey's bat? |
| [21:56.01] | Okay.I got a spider |
| [21:58.55] | There were two,I picked the bigger one |
| [22:02.63] | Okay |
| [22:03.69] | This feels perfectly normal |
| [22:11.82] | Okay,get on the swing |
| [22:12.79] | Okay |
| [22:33.65] | All right ,I can do this |
| [22:38.79] | There you go.Good for you |
| [22:40.07] | You know what? |
| [22:41.11] | I'm getting used to this little guy |
| [22:43.20] | I don't even feel him in here anymore |
| [22:45.59] | That's because he's on your neck |
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