hey you guys
hey what are you doing
oh figuring  out our wedding plans
thats fines we are doing the same thing
yeah
it's really cracy
the hall the dress the food
I have no idea how expensive this stuff was
yeah it is really pricey
I freaked when I heared the numbers
so,what did you two do about it
it was simple .
I came up with some cost-cutting solutions
wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell
There is no way around of you
Just accept the fact this is gonna cost a lot of money
I heard that weddings are
lke a 40billion a year industry
yeah and i am responsible for just like half of that
but really it does seem like this money could be put to better use
are you serious
yeah now how would you feel if we give all the wedding money to charity
and we just got married at City Hall?
I think it would make me wanna marry you even more
Well I gotta say you guys
that's an incredible gesture
Maybe you do that next time you get married
nonono the next time's gonna be Hawaii at sunset
But maybe the time after that
hey hey
what's going on
our adoption sacial worker is coming by today
so we are cleaning the apartment
we?
you konw you don't want me to help
you can't have it both ways
hey is this the person who decides whether or not you get a baby?
Kind of
She's coming by and view us to see where we live
And it has to go perfectly
because she doesn't like something about us
she can keep us off every adoption list in the state
Hey maybe I should stop by
She could be a soap-opera fan
It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity
Little people?
Celebrity
Ok,I think I'm just about done here
Unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere
like porn or cigarettes
what
No Chandler
I don't and I'm offended by the insinuation
OK,So there's not a magazine under the couch
or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank
or a filthy video in the VCR
I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine
but that tape is not mine
is it mine?
I guess we'll never know whose it is
May I help you
Yes
We're here to make a rather sizable donation to the children
Well any contribution,large or small is appreciated
Well,I think you are gonna  appreciate the crap out of this one
Well,this is very generous
And we don't want any recognition
This is completely anonymous
Completely anonyous
from two kind strangers
Mr.X and Phoebe Buffay
If you like we can include your names in our newsletter
Not necessary
Buffay is spelled BUFFAY
And X is spelled ,uh,Mike Hannigan
All right ,well,on behalf of the children,thank you both very much
Sure,I'm glad we did this .it feels so good
It does,it feels really good.
Oh,look,and we can get these free T-shirts
Actually,that's the shirt I wore to the gym
It's moist
Hi,Emma will be up in a minute
oh good
oh hey Ross,listen,I heared about you and Charlie.
I'm really sorry
Aw,that's okey.
I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there
Absolutely
There was one ,she is it
All the rest look like they should live under a bridge
So,uh,what are you gonna do today?
Well,I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground
oh my god what
Like I said ,I was thinking of taking Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire
Okey,look Rose.I do not want Emma going to playground
Because?
All right ,if you must know ,I had a traumatic...
...swing incident when I was little
Seriously?
Yes,I was 4 years old
and I was on the swing
and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain
And to get me out ,my mom had to cut a big chunk of my hair
And it was uneven for weeks
And you made it through that?
I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie
Okey,fine,you can make fun of me.I do not want Emma going there
And I was thinkig Claire Danes
Look,I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy
Okey?but the swings are perfectly safe.And besides,Emma loves them
You know that,you should come with us,and you'll see
Those things going 40 miles an hour
Okey when you at that moment when you're at the top
when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to Earth
Space is filling with orbiting children
Look,please just come on
you know,When you see the look on Emma's face,I swear you won't regret it
All right
Good
You don't wanna be a mothers who pass on their irrational fears to their children,do you?
"irrational"huh?
All right I will be remember that next time you freak out about a spider in your apartmennt
Oh yeah,that's the same.I'm sure there are 30 different species of poisonous swings
Oh my god The adoption lady is early
Okey okey here we go
Okey here we go
Stand up straight
Big smile
Hello Is this the Creepy residence?
We're waiting for the adoption lady.
But,hey I'm glad you're here
I was cleaning this morning and I found this
I don't know if you wanna use it ,but...
Oh,this is so sweet of you
Oh,but you know I won't be needing a veil.I actually won't be wearing a dress at all
I told you ,I am not coming to a naked wedding
No no no.we're not having a big reception
We took the money we were gonna spend on the wedding and we donated to a children's charity
that's crazy
I am sorry.I just  I can't imagine giving up my one wedding day like that
Yeah,well,we're different.You know I don't care about having a huge party
This is really nice for you but...
Oh,please.I put this on and,ugh,I just look like
Well,radiant
All right,but who cares?You know,I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress
That's right,you're making a commitment
And you know,that's the same whether you do it at the Plaza or...
Where you gonna do it?
City Hall
Oh,that sounds nice
I was just there for jury duty.They've really spruced that place up
Ok,ok,it's ok,I've made my decision
But I really want is a great big wedding
Oh yeah
But you gave all the money to charity
Well,I'll just ask for it back
I don't think you can do that
Why not
This is her wedding day.That's way more important than some stupid kids
That's sweet honey but save something for adoption lady
All right be careful
watch her hair watch her hair
Rach,she's got,like,three hair
I know,I know ,but they are just so beautiful
Oh,my god ,I just pulled one out
I promise you she is safe okey? watch how much she loves this
Are you ready sweet here we go
She is smiling
Look at that ,she does like it
Okey ,get the camera.It's in the diaper bag
See?Scared of the swings .I bet you feel pretty silly.Aah
We are seriously asking for the money back?
It's for our wedding day
All right now,Is this guy gay or straight? Cause one of us has to start fliring
Wow,you here to make another donation the same day?
I don't think that's ever happened before
Gay go
Oh god I love your shirt
The donation we made earlier,we want it back
Excuse me ?
See,okey,that money was for a big wedding we thought we didn't want but it turns out we do
So you are asking us to refund your donation to the children
Yeah
This feels really good
I am sorry,you know,this wedding is just really important to me
It's not my business.Besides,this is  probably s good thing
We've really been spoiling the children,what with all the food and warm clothing
That's not fair
A person's wedding is important,And especially to me
Okey,I didn't have a graduation party.And I didn't go to prom
And I spent my sweet 16 being chased around a tire yard...
by an escaped mental patient who,in his own words,wanted to kill me or whatever
So I deserve a real celebration
And I'm not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it
She could've been talking about either one of us
Hi,Iam Laura .I'm here for your adoption interview
Hi I am Monica,And this is Chandler
Please come in .
Thank you
Would you like something to drink?
Oh,water would be fine
We're so glad that you're here
We're really excited about getting this process started
Because we love kids ,love them to death
Well,not actually to death .that's just a figure of speech
We love kids the appropriate amount ..
as allowed by law
Your place is just lovely
Thank you
yes,this building does have a wholesome,family feel to it
I feel like I've been here before
Are any other couples in the building adopting?
Is that couple on the first floor?
Because we should get a baby before them
That guy tried to sell me drugs
But other than that ,wholesome ,wholesome building
I just realized why I remember this place
Really?What is it?
Oh it's nothing
I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building.it didn't end very well
That wouldn't ,by any chance, be Joey Tribbiani?
Yes !
Of course it was
We had a really great night and in the morning he promised me to call me but he didn't
Rat bastard!
So you are friends with him?
no...nope
Well,I am sorry I brought it up
So are either one of you planning on staying at home?
Hello?Anybody in there order a celebrity?
What was that?
That's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here
He's great with kids,though
Ross,Oh my god ,are you okay?
Son of a *****!
Oh,relax,I didn't say the F-word
Ross,see,I told you !Those swings are evil!
All right that is it
That's the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life
No..Okey,it wasn't the swing's fault .it was my fault
And kind of that kid's fault
He is still laughing .Nice
Come on.Can we just get out of here before somebody else gets hurt?
No,okey okey,wait, I have an idea.
I want you to get on the swing
and and you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of
I know what this is all about
You've always been jealous of my hair
I just think you're an adult ?
And you should get over your silly fears
All right ,fine,I'll do it
Good
If you hold a spider
Where?where
If you hold a spider
I know
Guys,is everything okay?It's me ,Joey
Adoption!
What's going on?
Oh,it's just like I said,that crazy
Bert,roaming the halls
Guys?
Keep on roaming,Bert!
We don't want any crazy today
What's going on?
We'll talk later,Bert.Everying's fine!
Everything doesn't sound fine
Is he all right out there by himself?
Oh,yeah.he has a caretaker.His older brother..
..Ernie
Bert and Ernie?
You can't make this stuff up.
You never told me ahout that guy and your sweet 16
I'm sorry ahout that
Oh,it ended okey
One of my friend shot him
Well,at least you'll get a proper wedding.You deserve that
Yeah.I really do.You know,I had nothing growing up
Just like the kids I took the money from
No,no,no,I see where this is going.Don't make me go back there
Look,I can't have a wedding with this money now.It's tainted.
All right,fine,we'll give the money back
And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time
My friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time
Well,I must say this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in
By the way,You are more that welcome to look under any of the furniture
because,believe me,you won't find any porn or cigarettes under here
Before we look around,let me make sure I have everything I need up to here
Why don't I show you the baby's room
What the hall are you doing?
You wouldn't let me in,I thought you were in trouble
Well,we're not
But you called me Bert
That's our code word for danger
We don't have a code word
We don't?
We really should
For now on Bert will be our code word for danger
So that was the baby's room
Uh,what room should we see next?
Any room that isn't behind this couch
Some people don't get him,but I think he's really funny
I did not care for that
You have to get out of here
You slept with our social worker and never called her back
She is still pissed,so she can't see you
Okay okay
What?
I forgot my bat
Oh my god
And for the last time ,we do not want to be friends with you
And we don't wanna buy your bat
What are you doing here?
Bert Bert Bert Bert
Are you friends with him?
I can explain
Joey
Ok,Uh
You,have got some nerve coming back here
I can't believe you never called me
Excuse me?
Probably you don't even remember my name
It's Joey,by the way
And don't bother telling me yours,because I totally remember it,lady
I waited weeks for you to call me
I give you my number but you never called me
Don't try to turn this around on me
I am not some kind of social work
Then you can just do
I am pretty sure I gave you my number
Really think about it come on
Your're a beautiful woman .Smart ,funny
We had a really good time
If I had your number,why wouldn't I call you?
I don't know
Well,maybe I'm wrong.I'm sorry
No no ,you are not wrong,too late for apologies
Okay?you broke my heard
You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you?
Joey,wait?
No!
I waited a long time!I can't wait anymore
I am sorry that you had to see that.I'm so embarrassed
Oh,that's really okay.
Yeah.We totally understand it
Dating is hard
Boy,you people are nice
And I've got to say
I think you're going to make excellent parents
Lauro!
We are back
Are you here to take more money?
Because I think what you're looking for is an ATM
No,no,we're here to give the money back
Yeah.Because you know what?
It's all about children
Although it's also about the wedding
All right,here,no,oh,god
If I haven't said so already,sir,congratulations
Okay,look,enough,all right
I'm stepping in and putting my foot down
As your future husband,I'm gonna make this decision for us
What do you think we should do?
It's not your decision anymore
What?
On behalf of children of New York,I reject your money
But we are giving you this.
And I'm giving it back to you
Come on.Consider it a contribution
Well,this is very generous
Please,take the check
Go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together
Sounds good to me.We can save up,come back and make an even bigger donation
Absolutely
And when you do,ask for Brian
Oh,is that you?
No
Hello
Oh,hi
Oh,my god,really?
I can't wait to tell Chandler
Okay,goodby
Wrong number?
That was Laura
She gave us a great report and we're officially on the waiting list
That's great!
Now we just wait for a call and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us
Hello?
Have you seen Joey's bat?
Okay.I got a spider
There were two,I picked the bigger one
Okay
This feels perfectly normal
Okay,get on the swing
Okay
All right ,I can do this
There you go.Good for you
You know what?
I'm getting used to this little guy
I don't even feel him in here anymore
That's because he's on your neck