[00:00.00]hey you guys
[00:02.11]hey what are you doing
[00:03.51]oh figuring  out our wedding plans
[00:04.83]thats fines we are doing the same thing
[00:06.59]yeah
[00:09.04]it's really cracy
[00:10.17]the hall the dress the food
[00:12.58]I have no idea how expensive this stuff was
[00:15.28]yeah it is really pricey
[00:16.76]I freaked when I heared the numbers
[00:18.13]so,what did you two do about it
[00:19.64]it was simple .
[00:20.70]I came up with some cost-cutting solutions
[00:22.75]wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell
[00:25.35]There is no way around of you
[00:28.72]Just accept the fact this is gonna cost a lot of money
[00:31.40]I heard that weddings are
[00:32.91]lke a 40billion a year industry
[00:35.08]yeah and i am responsible for just like half of that
[00:38.41]but really it does seem like this money could be put to better use
[00:43.16]are you serious
[00:45.11]yeah now how would you feel if we give all the wedding money to charity
[00:48.50]and we just got married at City Hall?
[00:50.41]I think it would make me wanna marry you even more
[00:53.06]Well I gotta say you guys
[00:57.68]that's an incredible gesture
[00:59.77]Maybe you do that next time you get married
[01:01.09]nonono the next time's gonna be Hawaii at sunset
[01:07.05]But maybe the time after that
[01:45.45]hey hey
[01:52.36]what's going on
[01:53.27]our adoption sacial worker is coming by today
[01:55.60]so we are cleaning the apartment
[01:56.83]we?
[01:59.59]you konw you don't want me to help
[02:01.19]you can't have it both ways
[02:02.95]hey is this the person who decides whether or not you get a baby?
[02:07.53]Kind of
[02:08.24]She's coming by and view us to see where we live
[02:10.54]And it has to go perfectly
[02:11.57]because she doesn't like something about us
[02:13.04]she can keep us off every adoption list in the state
[02:15.57]Hey maybe I should stop by
[02:17.06]She could be a soap-opera fan
[02:18.19]It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity
[02:21.69]Little people?
[02:25.23]Celebrity
[02:28.01]Ok,I think I'm just about done here
[02:29.80]Unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere
[02:32.65]like porn or cigarettes
[02:35.15]what
[02:36.95]No Chandler
[02:43.64]I don't and I'm offended by the insinuation
[02:46.45]OK,So there's not a magazine under the couch
[02:51.79]or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank
[02:53.40]or a filthy video in the VCR
[02:55.00]I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine
[02:58.48]but that tape is not mine
[02:59.66]is it mine?
[03:02.13]I guess we'll never know whose it is
[03:11.59]May I help you
[03:13.58]Yes
[03:14.83]We're here to make a rather sizable donation to the children
[03:17.18]Well any contribution,large or small is appreciated
[03:19.69]Well,I think you are gonna  appreciate the crap out of this one
[03:22.03]Well,this is very generous
[03:24.61]And we don't want any recognition
[03:26.32]This is completely anonymous
[03:28.42]Completely anonyous
[03:29.64]from two kind strangers
[03:31.36]Mr.X and Phoebe Buffay
[03:33.49]If you like we can include your names in our newsletter
[03:37.51]Not necessary
[03:38.63]Buffay is spelled BUFFAY
[03:41.02]And X is spelled ,uh,Mike Hannigan
[03:45.99]All right ,well,on behalf of the children,thank you both very much
[03:49.55]Sure,I'm glad we did this .it feels so good
[03:52.26]It does,it feels really good.
[03:53.66]Oh,look,and we can get these free T-shirts
[03:56.54]Actually,that's the shirt I wore to the gym
[03:59.19]It's moist
[04:05.56]Hi,Emma will be up in a minute
[04:07.58]oh good
[04:08.58]oh hey Ross,listen,I heared about you and Charlie.
[04:10.75]I'm really sorry
[04:12.38]Aw,that's okey.
[04:13.70]I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there
[04:16.96]Absolutely
[04:18.05]There was one ,she is it
[04:19.80]All the rest look like they should live under a bridge
[04:22.55]So,uh,what are you gonna do today?
[04:27.36]Well,I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground
[04:29.77]oh my god what
[04:31.98]Like I said ,I was thinking of taking Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire
[04:38.31]Okey,look Rose.I do not want Emma going to playground
[04:46.23]Because?
[04:51.50]All right ,if you must know ,I had a traumatic...
[04:54.25]...swing incident when I was little
[04:59.42]Seriously?
[05:00.89]Yes,I was 4 years old
[05:01.79]and I was on the swing
[05:03.91]and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain
[05:07.99]And to get me out ,my mom had to cut a big chunk of my hair
[05:13.30]And it was uneven for weeks
[05:17.87]And you made it through that?
[05:27.72]I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie
[05:30.92]Okey,fine,you can make fun of me.I do not want Emma going there
[05:36.51]And I was thinkig Claire Danes
[05:38.83]Look,I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy
[05:43.63]Okey?but the swings are perfectly safe.And besides,Emma loves them
[05:46.94]You know that,you should come with us,and you'll see
[05:48.76]Those things going 40 miles an hour
[05:51.24]Okey when you at that moment when you're at the top
[05:54.76]when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to Earth
[05:59.92]Space is filling with orbiting children
[06:05.08]Look,please just come on
[06:08.90]you know,When you see the look on Emma's face,I swear you won't regret it
[06:12.95]All right
[06:16.36]Good
[06:17.30]You don't wanna be a mothers who pass on their irrational fears to their children,do you?
[06:21.67]"irrational"huh?
[06:22.68]All right I will be remember that next time you freak out about a spider in your apartmennt
[06:26.61]Oh yeah,that's the same.I'm sure there are 30 different species of poisonous swings
[06:34.25]Oh my god The adoption lady is early
[06:37.89]Okey okey here we go
[06:40.85]Okey here we go
[06:41.91]Stand up straight
[06:42.91]Big smile
[06:43.87]Hello Is this the Creepy residence?
[06:50.53]We're waiting for the adoption lady.
[06:51.60]But,hey I'm glad you're here
[06:53.05]I was cleaning this morning and I found this
[06:55.62]I don't know if you wanna use it ,but...
[06:58.75]Oh,this is so sweet of you
[07:02.04]Oh,but you know I won't be needing a veil.I actually won't be wearing a dress at all
[07:06.61]I told you ,I am not coming to a naked wedding
[07:08.98]No no no.we're not having a big reception
[07:11.78]We took the money we were gonna spend on the wedding and we donated to a children's charity
[07:15.54]that's crazy
[07:19.43]I am sorry.I just  I can't imagine giving up my one wedding day like that
[07:24.22]Yeah,well,we're different.You know I don't care about having a huge party
[07:27.10]This is really nice for you but...
[07:29.96]Oh,please.I put this on and,ugh,I just look like
[07:33.92]Well,radiant
[07:34.99]All right,but who cares?You know,I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress
[07:42.05]That's right,you're making a commitment
[07:44.17]And you know,that's the same whether you do it at the Plaza or...
[07:47.53]Where you gonna do it?
[07:50.06]City Hall
[07:50.98]Oh,that sounds nice
[07:54.38]I was just there for jury duty.They've really spruced that place up
[07:58.72]Ok,ok,it's ok,I've made my decision
[08:03.41]But I really want is a great big wedding
[08:06.34]Oh yeah
[08:07.96]But you gave all the money to charity
[08:11.26]Well,I'll just ask for it back
[08:13.00]I don't think you can do that
[08:16.35]Why not
[08:17.23]This is her wedding day.That's way more important than some stupid kids
[08:21.09]That's sweet honey but save something for adoption lady
[08:33.86]All right be careful
[08:36.16]watch her hair watch her hair
[08:38.08]Rach,she's got,like,three hair
[08:42.41]I know,I know ,but they are just so beautiful
[08:45.63]Oh,my god ,I just pulled one out
[08:48.61]I promise you she is safe okey? watch how much she loves this
[08:52.68]Are you ready sweet here we go
[08:56.34]She is smiling
[09:07.56]Look at that ,she does like it
[09:24.57]Okey ,get the camera.It's in the diaper bag
[09:28.12]See?Scared of the swings .I bet you feel pretty silly.Aah
[09:38.78]We are seriously asking for the money back?
[09:40.71]It's for our wedding day
[09:42.48]All right now,Is this guy gay or straight? Cause one of us has to start fliring
[09:46.75]Wow,you here to make another donation the same day?
[09:50.50]I don't think that's ever happened before
[09:52.22]Gay go
[09:55.05]Oh god I love your shirt
[10:00.73]The donation we made earlier,we want it back
[10:05.82]Excuse me ?
[10:08.76]See,okey,that money was for a big wedding we thought we didn't want but it turns out we do
[10:13.80]So you are asking us to refund your donation to the children
[10:17.80]Yeah
[10:20.01]This feels really good
[10:26.25]I am sorry,you know,this wedding is just really important to me
[10:29.61]It's not my business.Besides,this is  probably s good thing
[10:34.01]We've really been spoiling the children,what with all the food and warm clothing
[10:37.11]That's not fair
[10:41.30]A person's wedding is important,And especially to me
[10:43.94]Okey,I didn't have a graduation party.And I didn't go to prom
[10:48.13]And I spent my sweet 16 being chased around a tire yard...
[10:51.52]by an escaped mental patient who,in his own words,wanted to kill me or whatever
[10:56.71]So I deserve a real celebration
[11:02.22]And I'm not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it
[11:06.49]She could've been talking about either one of us
[11:19.15]Hi,Iam Laura .I'm here for your adoption interview
[11:22.79]Hi I am Monica,And this is Chandler
[11:25.63]Please come in .
[11:26.54]Thank you
[11:27.72]Would you like something to drink?
[11:29.18]Oh,water would be fine
[11:30.69]We're so glad that you're here
[11:32.88]We're really excited about getting this process started
[11:36.24]Because we love kids ,love them to death
[11:39.53]Well,not actually to death .that's just a figure of speech
[11:42.79]We love kids the appropriate amount ..
[11:44.78]as allowed by law
[11:48.58]Your place is just lovely
[11:52.28]Thank you
[11:53.26]yes,this building does have a wholesome,family feel to it
[11:56.81]I feel like I've been here before
[12:00.25]Are any other couples in the building adopting?
[12:02.30]Is that couple on the first floor?
[12:04.03]Because we should get a baby before them
[12:07.30]That guy tried to sell me drugs
[12:10.44]But other than that ,wholesome ,wholesome building
[12:15.03]I just realized why I remember this place
[12:20.44]Really?What is it?
[12:22.48]Oh it's nothing
[12:23.70]I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building.it didn't end very well
[12:25.07]That wouldn't ,by any chance, be Joey Tribbiani?
[12:29.69]Yes !
[12:30.52]Of course it was
[12:34.03]We had a really great night and in the morning he promised me to call me but he didn't
[12:38.08]Rat bastard!
[12:39.51]So you are friends with him?
[12:42.60]no...nope
[12:53.79]Well,I am sorry I brought it up
[12:57.58]So are either one of you planning on staying at home?
[12:59.24]Hello?Anybody in there order a celebrity?
[13:04.58]What was that?
[13:08.66]That's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here
[13:13.54]He's great with kids,though
[13:23.10]Ross,Oh my god ,are you okay?
[13:25.20]Son of a *****!
[13:28.73]Oh,relax,I didn't say the F-word
[13:36.11]Ross,see,I told you !Those swings are evil!
[13:39.40]All right that is it
[13:40.10]That's the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life
[13:43.69]No..Okey,it wasn't the swing's fault .it was my fault
[13:48.01]And kind of that kid's fault
[13:51.15]He is still laughing .Nice
[13:54.18]Come on.Can we just get out of here before somebody else gets hurt?
[13:57.37]No,okey okey,wait, I have an idea.
[13:59.05]I want you to get on the swing
[14:00.79]and and you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of
[14:04.67]I know what this is all about
[14:09.83]You've always been jealous of my hair
[14:13.67]I just think you're an adult ?
[14:15.58]And you should get over your silly fears
[14:18.01]All right ,fine,I'll do it
[14:19.96]Good
[14:21.14]If you hold a spider
[14:22.09]Where?where
[14:24.67]If you hold a spider
[14:26.75]I know
[14:35.58]Guys,is everything okay?It's me ,Joey
[14:37.82]Adoption!
[14:44.10]What's going on?
[14:45.78]Oh,it's just like I said,that crazy
[14:48.83]Bert,roaming the halls
[14:51.06]Guys?
[14:52.38]Keep on roaming,Bert!
[14:54.82]We don't want any crazy today
[14:59.37]What's going on?
[15:00.31]We'll talk later,Bert.Everying's fine!
[15:02.21]Everything doesn't sound fine
[15:06.95]Is he all right out there by himself?
[15:08.59]Oh,yeah.he has a caretaker.His older brother..
[15:11.12]..Ernie
[15:15.82]Bert and Ernie?
[15:17.65]You can't make this stuff up.
[15:19.79]You never told me ahout that guy and your sweet 16
[15:24.54]I'm sorry ahout that
[15:26.38]Oh,it ended okey
[15:28.04]One of my friend shot him
[15:31.56]Well,at least you'll get a proper wedding.You deserve that
[15:34.88]Yeah.I really do.You know,I had nothing growing up
[15:37.98]Just like the kids I took the money from
[15:44.27]No,no,no,I see where this is going.Don't make me go back there
[15:50.28]Look,I can't have a wedding with this money now.It's tainted.
[15:53.87]All right,fine,we'll give the money back
[15:57.13]And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time
[15:59.00]My friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time
[16:04.87]Well,I must say this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in
[16:08.22]By the way,You are more that welcome to look under any of the furniture
[16:11.37]because,believe me,you won't find any porn or cigarettes under here
[16:15.95]Before we look around,let me make sure I have everything I need up to here
[16:26.36]Why don't I show you the baby's room
[16:33.95]What the hall are you doing?
[16:35.19]You wouldn't let me in,I thought you were in trouble
[16:36.69]Well,we're not
[16:37.91]But you called me Bert
[16:38.92]That's our code word for danger
[16:42.52]We don't have a code word
[16:45.75]We don't?
[16:46.68]We really should
[16:49.25]For now on Bert will be our code word for danger
[16:54.11]So that was the baby's room
[16:55.62]Uh,what room should we see next?
[16:59.74]Any room that isn't behind this couch
[17:03.00]Some people don't get him,but I think he's really funny
[17:15.55]I did not care for that
[17:19.28]You have to get out of here
[17:20.44]You slept with our social worker and never called her back
[17:23.08]She is still pissed,so she can't see you
[17:25.28]Okay okay
[17:27.19]What?
[17:30.96]I forgot my bat
[17:33.56]Oh my god
[17:37.90]And for the last time ,we do not want to be friends with you
[17:44.48]And we don't wanna buy your bat
[17:48.84]What are you doing here?
[17:50.07]Bert Bert Bert Bert
[17:56.97]Are you friends with him?
[17:57.96]I can explain
[17:59.26]Joey
[18:03.65]Ok,Uh
[18:05.24]You,have got some nerve coming back here
[18:14.65]I can't believe you never called me
[18:15.83]Excuse me?
[18:16.70]Probably you don't even remember my name
[18:19.67]It's Joey,by the way
[18:21.57]And don't bother telling me yours,because I totally remember it,lady
[18:27.72]I waited weeks for you to call me
[18:30.15]I give you my number but you never called me
[18:32.22]Don't try to turn this around on me
[18:33.70]I am not some kind of social work
[18:39.34]Then you can just do
[18:45.01]I am pretty sure I gave you my number
[18:47.63]Really think about it come on
[18:49.94]Your're a beautiful woman .Smart ,funny
[18:52.93]We had a really good time
[18:54.88]If I had your number,why wouldn't I call you?
[18:59.30]I don't know
[19:03.23]Well,maybe I'm wrong.I'm sorry
[19:05.64]No no ,you are not wrong,too late for apologies
[19:08.65]Okay?you broke my heard
[19:10.91]You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you?
[19:13.14]Joey,wait?
[19:18.81]No!
[19:19.98]I waited a long time!I can't wait anymore
[19:26.06]I am sorry that you had to see that.I'm so embarrassed
[19:29.47]Oh,that's really okay.
[19:31.00]Yeah.We totally understand it
[19:32.96]Dating is hard
[19:34.84]Boy,you people are nice
[19:36.28]And I've got to say
[19:41.12]I think you're going to make excellent parents
[19:47.61]Lauro!
[19:55.01]We are back
[19:56.54]Are you here to take more money?
[20:00.65]Because I think what you're looking for is an ATM
[20:04.59]No,no,we're here to give the money back
[20:06.67]Yeah.Because you know what?
[20:09.61]It's all about children
[20:10.90]Although it's also about the wedding
[20:14.82]All right,here,no,oh,god
[20:17.80]If I haven't said so already,sir,congratulations
[20:21.77]Okay,look,enough,all right
[20:24.31]I'm stepping in and putting my foot down
[20:25.73]As your future husband,I'm gonna make this decision for us
[20:30.16]What do you think we should do?
[20:33.50]It's not your decision anymore
[20:35.79]What?
[20:36.70]On behalf of children of New York,I reject your money
[20:39.53]But we are giving you this.
[20:42.36]And I'm giving it back to you
[20:44.18]Come on.Consider it a contribution
[20:47.21]Well,this is very generous
[20:51.09]Please,take the check
[20:52.33]Go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together
[20:54.57]Sounds good to me.We can save up,come back and make an even bigger donation
[20:59.88]Absolutely
[21:00.50]And when you do,ask for Brian
[21:02.50]Oh,is that you?
[21:03.62]No
[21:08.39]Hello
[21:10.32]Oh,hi
[21:12.90]Oh,my god,really?
[21:17.30]I can't wait to tell Chandler
[21:18.72]Okay,goodby
[21:20.09]Wrong number?
[21:23.24]That was Laura
[21:23.90]She gave us a great report and we're officially on the waiting list
[21:30.06]That's great!
[21:30.46]Now we just wait for a call and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us
[21:46.09]Hello?
[21:47.53]Have you seen Joey's bat?
[21:56.01]Okay.I got a spider
[21:58.55]There were two,I picked the bigger one
[22:02.63]Okay
[22:03.69]This feels perfectly normal
[22:11.82]Okay,get on the swing
[22:12.79]Okay
[22:33.65]All right ,I can do this
[22:38.79]There you go.Good for you
[22:40.07]You know what?
[22:41.11]I'm getting used to this little guy
[22:43.20]I don't even feel him in here anymore
[22:45.59]That's because he's on your neck