All Cartoons Are...

All Cartoons Are... Lyrics

Song All Cartoons Are...
Artist Jason Alexander
Album Family Guy Live in Vegas
Download Image LRC TXT
[00:05.612] On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble
[00:09.312] We hit a couple divey little bars
[00:12.545] We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
[00:16.459] Sitting at the table next to ours
[00:19.785] Now Barney who was pretty friggin' wasted
[00:23.214] Got up and stumbled over with a groan
[00:26.563] He said , hey , just between us
[00:28.291] My Neanderthalic peniis
[00:30.014] Is as massive as a Stegosaurus bone !
[00:33.873] All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[00:37.073] They get their kicks from being pricks
[00:40.762] It's a quirk we just can't fix
[00:44.020] Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[00:46.548]  
[00:46.794] Did Barney really say that ?
[00:48.243] Oh , yeah , he is a bastard
[00:50.343] Wow
[00:50.734] And he , and he really does not give a damn about the feelings of women
[00:53.454] And , uh , it's sad
[00:54.765] It's really sad
[00:55.846] Well , you think that's bad , listen to this:
[00:57.457]  
[00:57.758] One day I met an ape of great charisma
[01:01.458] Magilla the Gorilla was his name
[01:04.765] He wore a little hat and matching bowtie
[01:08.411] A fashion which has brought him great acclaim
[01:11.763] I said , What do you see as your career peak
[01:15.395] Of all your many flashy escapades ?
[01:18.741] He said , Well this is funky
[01:20.406] But you're lookin' at the monkey
[01:22.109] Who's responsible for bringing you the AIDS !
[01:26.027] All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[01:29.373] They get their kicks from being pricks
[01:32.969] It's a quirk we just can't fix
[01:36.378] Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[01:38.723]  
[01:38.840] So he's the culprit
[01:40.771] I say , that is just awful
[01:42.762] Ok , ok , listen to this little gem:
[01:44.715]  
[01:45.061] I had a conversation at a party
[01:48.261] With famous rabbit hunter Elmer Fudd
[01:51.932] He told me I just had to see his rifle
[01:55.324] And dropped it on the table with a thud
[01:58.789] I said to him , It's quite a lovely firearm
[02:02.191] He told me his fiancee likes it too
[02:05.740] He said , This may be corny
[02:07.398] But it really gets me horny
[02:09.061] When I press it to her temple while we screw !
[02:12.986] All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[02:16.188] They get their kicks from being pricks
[02:19.830] It's a quirk we just can't fix
[02:23.174] Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[02:25.660]  
[02:25.877] Oh , God , that is one sick bastard
[02:28.734] Ooh , you're not kidding
[02:30.104] Yeah , that , uh , that kind of stuff is against the law too , I think
[02:32.995] Well , I got one that's even worse than that:
[02:35.082]  
[02:35.389] On Friday night I went to get some candy
[02:38.832] Some soda and some chips and other stuff
[02:42.218] Along the way I passed a little alley
[02:45.679] And there I saw that canine cop McGruff
[02:49.456] I said to him , hey , you're that famous crime dog !
[02:52.772] He said , I only work from nine to five
[02:56.145] And now it's close to tennish
[02:57.801] And I've got a job to finish
[02:59.468] Cause as you can see , this hooker's still alive !
[03:03.720] All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[03:06.729] They get their kicks from being pricks
[03:10.186] It's a quirk we just can't fix
[03:13.659] Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[03:16.191]  
[03:16.392] That's awful !
[03:17.379] Ugh , imagine McGruff beating up hookers
[03:19.988] He is a dick , he is a dick !
[03:22.015] Yes , yes , he's a nasty cartoon
[03:23.625] But I can top that , listen to this:
[03:25.637]  
[03:25.867] One day as I was strolling through the forest
[03:29.354] I happened on some mushroom covered turf
[03:32.783] And there from underneath a patch of fungus
[03:36.156] Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf
[03:39.708] He said , This is our secret mushroom village
[03:43.031] I said , Then I'm the first to see these views ?
[03:46.696] He said , I'm only kiddin'
[03:48.239] 'Cause we only keep it hidden
[03:49.868] From the Asians , Arabs , faggots , blacks , and Jews !
[03:53.805] All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[03:57.086] They get their kicks from being pricks
[04:00.451] It's a quirk we just can't fix
[04:04.048] Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[04:06.491]  
[04:06.809] That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster
[04:09.483] Oh , he is a dirty , nasty racist
[04:11.522] And a bigot , and a homophobe
[04:12.959] And you know what I did when I got home?
[04:14.492] What ?
[04:14.871] I called up Gargamel
[04:16.102] And I told him where the village is
[04:17.485] Hahahahahahahahaha !
[04:18.274] Haha , Sweet !
[04:19.069] Can I go next ?
[04:19.893] Of course , sweetie
[04:21.384] One day I met a...
[04:22.226] Holy crap , look who's here , it's Jason Alexander !
[04:25.267] Hey , cartoon haters
[04:26.938] But , but I was supposed to go next !
[04:29.094] Quiet , honey , Mr. Alexander wants to talk
[04:31.752] I couldn't help overhearing what you were talking about
[04:34.002] And I agree
[04:35.044] Cartoons are real ****in' assholes
[04:37.450] Yeah , that's , uh , sorta what we've been trying to communicate
[04:40.182] Well , get a load of this
[04:41.404] Hahaha , he said “load”
[04:43.369] Haha , hahaha , I know , I heard
[04:46.747]  
[04:47.083] I once met Scooby Doo at a premiere bash
[04:51.099] He looked a little haggard and he stunk
[04:54.351] He said , The trouble started last December
[04:57.769] When Daphne made a pass while she was drunk
[05:01.294] And now he's got a child out of wedlock
[05:04.791] It's dealing his career a fatal blow
[05:08.224] I asked him , Where's the baby ?
[05:09.955] He said , Jason , buddy , maybe
[05:11.671] Now you see why ****in' Scrappy's gotta go !
[05:15.514] All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[05:18.857] They get their kicks from being pricks
[05:22.315] It's a quirk we just can't fix
[05:25.887] Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[05:28.187]  
[05:28.407] Wow , Scrappy is the bastard child of Scooby and Daphne
[05:31.548] Shocking , isn't it ?
[05:32.537] Yeah
[05:33.173] Hey , you douche bags wanna wrap this up ?
[05:35.211]  
[05:35.442] So let us leave you now with one suggestion
[05:43.626] A bit of wisdom you can take for free
[05:52.293] The Mickeys and the Goofys and the Daffys
[06:01.120] Are not the gentle souls they seem to be
[06:09.617] So any time Sylvester catches Tweety
[06:18.502] Or Tom has got poor Jerry in a fix
[06:23.885] ( he's in a fix )
[06:27.007] Sit back and just observe it
[06:31.322] Cause the little shits deserve it
[06:36.275] For all cartoons are ****in' dicks !
[06:43.790]  
[06:46.430] So , when do we get to the off-color part of the album ?
[06:51.047] Actually , if I can soften a mood a bit
[06:53.524] I'd like to share a memory with you
[06:55.129] When we were filming "Road to Europe"
[06:56.885] I got a chance to see the lovely city of Paris
[00:05.612] On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble
[00:09.312] We hit a couple divey little bars
[00:12.545] We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
[00:16.459] Sitting at the table next to ours
[00:19.785] Now Barney who was pretty friggin' wasted
[00:23.214] Got up and stumbled over with a groan
[00:26.563] He said , hey , just between us
[00:28.291] My Neanderthalic peniis
[00:30.014] Is as massive as a Stegosaurus bone !
[00:33.873] All cartoons are in' dicks
[00:37.073] They get their kicks from being pricks
[00:40.762] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[00:44.020] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[00:46.548]  
[00:46.794] Did Barney really say that ?
[00:48.243] Oh , yeah , he is a bastard
[00:50.343] Wow
[00:50.734] And he , and he really does not give a damn about the feelings of women
[00:53.454] And , uh , it' s sad
[00:54.765] It' s really sad
[00:55.846] Well , you think that' s bad , listen to this:
[00:57.457]  
[00:57.758] One day I met an ape of great charisma
[01:01.458] Magilla the Gorilla was his name
[01:04.765] He wore a little hat and matching bowtie
[01:08.411] A fashion which has brought him great acclaim
[01:11.763] I said , What do you see as your career peak
[01:15.395] Of all your many flashy escapades ?
[01:18.741] He said , Well this is funky
[01:20.406] But you' re lookin' at the monkey
[01:22.109] Who' s responsible for bringing you the AIDS !
[01:26.027] All cartoons are in' dicks
[01:29.373] They get their kicks from being pricks
[01:32.969] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[01:36.378] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[01:38.723]  
[01:38.840] So he' s the culprit
[01:40.771] I say , that is just awful
[01:42.762] Ok , ok , listen to this little gem:
[01:44.715]  
[01:45.061] I had a conversation at a party
[01:48.261] With famous rabbit hunter Elmer Fudd
[01:51.932] He told me I just had to see his rifle
[01:55.324] And dropped it on the table with a thud
[01:58.789] I said to him , It' s quite a lovely firearm
[02:02.191] He told me his fiancee likes it too
[02:05.740] He said , This may be corny
[02:07.398] But it really gets me horny
[02:09.061] When I press it to her temple while we screw !
[02:12.986] All cartoons are in' dicks
[02:16.188] They get their kicks from being pricks
[02:19.830] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[02:23.174] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[02:25.660]  
[02:25.877] Oh , God , that is one sick bastard
[02:28.734] Ooh , you' re not kidding
[02:30.104] Yeah , that , uh , that kind of stuff is against the law too , I think
[02:32.995] Well , I got one that' s even worse than that:
[02:35.082]  
[02:35.389] On Friday night I went to get some candy
[02:38.832] Some soda and some chips and other stuff
[02:42.218] Along the way I passed a little alley
[02:45.679] And there I saw that canine cop McGruff
[02:49.456] I said to him , hey , you' re that famous crime dog !
[02:52.772] He said , I only work from nine to five
[02:56.145] And now it' s close to tennish
[02:57.801] And I' ve got a job to finish
[02:59.468] Cause as you can see , this hooker' s still alive !
[03:03.720] All cartoons are in' dicks
[03:06.729] They get their kicks from being pricks
[03:10.186] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[03:13.659] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[03:16.191]  
[03:16.392] That' s awful !
[03:17.379] Ugh , imagine McGruff beating up hookers
[03:19.988] He is a dick , he is a dick !
[03:22.015] Yes , yes , he' s a nasty cartoon
[03:23.625] But I can top that , listen to this:
[03:25.637]  
[03:25.867] One day as I was strolling through the forest
[03:29.354] I happened on some mushroom covered turf
[03:32.783] And there from underneath a patch of fungus
[03:36.156] Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf
[03:39.708] He said , This is our secret mushroom village
[03:43.031] I said , Then I' m the first to see these views ?
[03:46.696] He said , I' m only kiddin'
[03:48.239] ' Cause we only keep it hidden
[03:49.868] From the Asians , Arabs , faggots , blacks , and Jews !
[03:53.805] All cartoons are in' dicks
[03:57.086] They get their kicks from being pricks
[04:00.451] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[04:04.048] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[04:06.491]  
[04:06.809] That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster
[04:09.483] Oh , he is a dirty , nasty racist
[04:11.522] And a bigot , and a homophobe
[04:12.959] And you know what I did when I got home?
[04:14.492] What ?
[04:14.871] I called up Gargamel
[04:16.102] And I told him where the village is
[04:17.485] Hahahahahahahahaha !
[04:18.274] Haha , Sweet !
[04:19.069] Can I go next ?
[04:19.893] Of course , sweetie
[04:21.384] One day I met a...
[04:22.226] Holy crap , look who' s here , it' s Jason Alexander !
[04:25.267] Hey , cartoon haters
[04:26.938] But , but I was supposed to go next !
[04:29.094] Quiet , honey , Mr. Alexander wants to talk
[04:31.752] I couldn' t help overhearing what you were talking about
[04:34.002] And I agree
[04:35.044] Cartoons are real in' assholes
[04:37.450] Yeah , that' s , uh , sorta what we' ve been trying to communicate
[04:40.182] Well , get a load of this
[04:41.404] Hahaha , he said " load"
[04:43.369] Haha , hahaha , I know , I heard
[04:46.747]  
[04:47.083] I once met Scooby Doo at a premiere bash
[04:51.099] He looked a little haggard and he stunk
[04:54.351] He said , The trouble started last December
[04:57.769] When Daphne made a pass while she was drunk
[05:01.294] And now he' s got a child out of wedlock
[05:04.791] It' s dealing his career a fatal blow
[05:08.224] I asked him , Where' s the baby ?
[05:09.955] He said , Jason , buddy , maybe
[05:11.671] Now you see why in' Scrappy' s gotta go !
[05:15.514] All cartoons are in' dicks
[05:18.857] They get their kicks from being pricks
[05:22.315] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[05:25.887] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[05:28.187]  
[05:28.407] Wow , Scrappy is the bastard child of Scooby and Daphne
[05:31.548] Shocking , isn' t it ?
[05:32.537] Yeah
[05:33.173] Hey , you douche bags wanna wrap this up ?
[05:35.211]  
[05:35.442] So let us leave you now with one suggestion
[05:43.626] A bit of wisdom you can take for free
[05:52.293] The Mickeys and the Goofys and the Daffys
[06:01.120] Are not the gentle souls they seem to be
[06:09.617] So any time Sylvester catches Tweety
[06:18.502] Or Tom has got poor Jerry in a fix
[06:23.885] he' s in a fix
[06:27.007] Sit back and just observe it
[06:31.322] Cause the little shits deserve it
[06:36.275] For all cartoons are in' dicks !
[06:43.790]  
[06:46.430] So , when do we get to the offcolor part of the album ?
[06:51.047] Actually , if I can soften a mood a bit
[06:53.524] I' d like to share a memory with you
[06:55.129] When we were filming " Road to Europe"
[06:56.885] I got a chance to see the lovely city of Paris
[00:05.612] On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble
[00:09.312] We hit a couple divey little bars
[00:12.545] We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
[00:16.459] Sitting at the table next to ours
[00:19.785] Now Barney who was pretty friggin' wasted
[00:23.214] Got up and stumbled over with a groan
[00:26.563] He said , hey , just between us
[00:28.291] My Neanderthalic peniis
[00:30.014] Is as massive as a Stegosaurus bone !
[00:33.873] All cartoons are in' dicks
[00:37.073] They get their kicks from being pricks
[00:40.762] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[00:44.020] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[00:46.548]  
[00:46.794] Did Barney really say that ?
[00:48.243] Oh , yeah , he is a bastard
[00:50.343] Wow
[00:50.734] And he , and he really does not give a damn about the feelings of women
[00:53.454] And , uh , it' s sad
[00:54.765] It' s really sad
[00:55.846] Well , you think that' s bad , listen to this:
[00:57.457]  
[00:57.758] One day I met an ape of great charisma
[01:01.458] Magilla the Gorilla was his name
[01:04.765] He wore a little hat and matching bowtie
[01:08.411] A fashion which has brought him great acclaim
[01:11.763] I said , What do you see as your career peak
[01:15.395] Of all your many flashy escapades ?
[01:18.741] He said , Well this is funky
[01:20.406] But you' re lookin' at the monkey
[01:22.109] Who' s responsible for bringing you the AIDS !
[01:26.027] All cartoons are in' dicks
[01:29.373] They get their kicks from being pricks
[01:32.969] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[01:36.378] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[01:38.723]  
[01:38.840] So he' s the culprit
[01:40.771] I say , that is just awful
[01:42.762] Ok , ok , listen to this little gem:
[01:44.715]  
[01:45.061] I had a conversation at a party
[01:48.261] With famous rabbit hunter Elmer Fudd
[01:51.932] He told me I just had to see his rifle
[01:55.324] And dropped it on the table with a thud
[01:58.789] I said to him , It' s quite a lovely firearm
[02:02.191] He told me his fiancee likes it too
[02:05.740] He said , This may be corny
[02:07.398] But it really gets me horny
[02:09.061] When I press it to her temple while we screw !
[02:12.986] All cartoons are in' dicks
[02:16.188] They get their kicks from being pricks
[02:19.830] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[02:23.174] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[02:25.660]  
[02:25.877] Oh , God , that is one sick bastard
[02:28.734] Ooh , you' re not kidding
[02:30.104] Yeah , that , uh , that kind of stuff is against the law too , I think
[02:32.995] Well , I got one that' s even worse than that:
[02:35.082]  
[02:35.389] On Friday night I went to get some candy
[02:38.832] Some soda and some chips and other stuff
[02:42.218] Along the way I passed a little alley
[02:45.679] And there I saw that canine cop McGruff
[02:49.456] I said to him , hey , you' re that famous crime dog !
[02:52.772] He said , I only work from nine to five
[02:56.145] And now it' s close to tennish
[02:57.801] And I' ve got a job to finish
[02:59.468] Cause as you can see , this hooker' s still alive !
[03:03.720] All cartoons are in' dicks
[03:06.729] They get their kicks from being pricks
[03:10.186] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[03:13.659] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[03:16.191]  
[03:16.392] That' s awful !
[03:17.379] Ugh , imagine McGruff beating up hookers
[03:19.988] He is a dick , he is a dick !
[03:22.015] Yes , yes , he' s a nasty cartoon
[03:23.625] But I can top that , listen to this:
[03:25.637]  
[03:25.867] One day as I was strolling through the forest
[03:29.354] I happened on some mushroom covered turf
[03:32.783] And there from underneath a patch of fungus
[03:36.156] Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf
[03:39.708] He said , This is our secret mushroom village
[03:43.031] I said , Then I' m the first to see these views ?
[03:46.696] He said , I' m only kiddin'
[03:48.239] ' Cause we only keep it hidden
[03:49.868] From the Asians , Arabs , faggots , blacks , and Jews !
[03:53.805] All cartoons are in' dicks
[03:57.086] They get their kicks from being pricks
[04:00.451] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[04:04.048] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[04:06.491]  
[04:06.809] That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster
[04:09.483] Oh , he is a dirty , nasty racist
[04:11.522] And a bigot , and a homophobe
[04:12.959] And you know what I did when I got home?
[04:14.492] What ?
[04:14.871] I called up Gargamel
[04:16.102] And I told him where the village is
[04:17.485] Hahahahahahahahaha !
[04:18.274] Haha , Sweet !
[04:19.069] Can I go next ?
[04:19.893] Of course , sweetie
[04:21.384] One day I met a...
[04:22.226] Holy crap , look who' s here , it' s Jason Alexander !
[04:25.267] Hey , cartoon haters
[04:26.938] But , but I was supposed to go next !
[04:29.094] Quiet , honey , Mr. Alexander wants to talk
[04:31.752] I couldn' t help overhearing what you were talking about
[04:34.002] And I agree
[04:35.044] Cartoons are real in' assholes
[04:37.450] Yeah , that' s , uh , sorta what we' ve been trying to communicate
[04:40.182] Well , get a load of this
[04:41.404] Hahaha , he said " load"
[04:43.369] Haha , hahaha , I know , I heard
[04:46.747]  
[04:47.083] I once met Scooby Doo at a premiere bash
[04:51.099] He looked a little haggard and he stunk
[04:54.351] He said , The trouble started last December
[04:57.769] When Daphne made a pass while she was drunk
[05:01.294] And now he' s got a child out of wedlock
[05:04.791] It' s dealing his career a fatal blow
[05:08.224] I asked him , Where' s the baby ?
[05:09.955] He said , Jason , buddy , maybe
[05:11.671] Now you see why in' Scrappy' s gotta go !
[05:15.514] All cartoons are in' dicks
[05:18.857] They get their kicks from being pricks
[05:22.315] It' s a quirk we just can' t fix
[05:25.887] Cause all cartoons are in' dicks
[05:28.187]  
[05:28.407] Wow , Scrappy is the bastard child of Scooby and Daphne
[05:31.548] Shocking , isn' t it ?
[05:32.537] Yeah
[05:33.173] Hey , you douche bags wanna wrap this up ?
[05:35.211]  
[05:35.442] So let us leave you now with one suggestion
[05:43.626] A bit of wisdom you can take for free
[05:52.293] The Mickeys and the Goofys and the Daffys
[06:01.120] Are not the gentle souls they seem to be
[06:09.617] So any time Sylvester catches Tweety
[06:18.502] Or Tom has got poor Jerry in a fix
[06:23.885] he' s in a fix
[06:27.007] Sit back and just observe it
[06:31.322] Cause the little shits deserve it
[06:36.275] For all cartoons are in' dicks !
[06:43.790]  
[06:46.430] So , when do we get to the offcolor part of the album ?
[06:51.047] Actually , if I can soften a mood a bit
[06:53.524] I' d like to share a memory with you
[06:55.129] When we were filming " Road to Europe"
[06:56.885] I got a chance to see the lovely city of Paris
All Cartoons Are... Lyrics
YouTube Results (More on YouTube)