[00:05.612]On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble
[00:09.312]We hit a couple divey little bars
[00:12.545]We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
[00:16.459]Sitting at the table next to ours
[00:19.785]Now Barney who was pretty friggin' wasted
[00:23.214]Got up and stumbled over with a groan
[00:26.563]He said , hey , just between us
[00:28.291]My Neanderthalic peniis
[00:30.014]Is as massive as a Stegosaurus bone !
[00:33.873]All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[00:37.073]They get their kicks from being pricks
[00:40.762]It's a quirk we just can't fix
[00:44.020]Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[00:46.548] 
[00:46.794]Did Barney really say that ?
[00:48.243]Oh , yeah , he is a bastard
[00:50.343]Wow
[00:50.734]And he , and he really does not give a damn about the feelings of women
[00:53.454]And , uh , it's sad
[00:54.765]It's really sad
[00:55.846]Well , you think that's bad , listen to this:
[00:57.457] 
[00:57.758]One day I met an ape of great charisma
[01:01.458]Magilla the Gorilla was his name
[01:04.765]He wore a little hat and matching bowtie
[01:08.411]A fashion which has brought him great acclaim
[01:11.763]I said , What do you see as your career peak
[01:15.395]Of all your many flashy escapades ?
[01:18.741]He said , Well this is funky
[01:20.406]But you're lookin' at the monkey
[01:22.109]Who's responsible for bringing you the AIDS !
[01:26.027]All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[01:29.373]They get their kicks from being pricks
[01:32.969]It's a quirk we just can't fix
[01:36.378]Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[01:38.723] 
[01:38.840]So he's the culprit
[01:40.771]I say , that is just awful
[01:42.762]Ok , ok , listen to this little gem:
[01:44.715] 
[01:45.061]I had a conversation at a party
[01:48.261]With famous rabbit hunter Elmer Fudd
[01:51.932]He told me I just had to see his rifle
[01:55.324]And dropped it on the table with a thud
[01:58.789]I said to him , It's quite a lovely firearm
[02:02.191]He told me his fiancee likes it too
[02:05.740]He said , This may be corny
[02:07.398]But it really gets me horny
[02:09.061]When I press it to her temple while we screw !
[02:12.986]All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[02:16.188]They get their kicks from being pricks
[02:19.830]It's a quirk we just can't fix
[02:23.174]Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[02:25.660] 
[02:25.877]Oh , God , that is one sick bastard
[02:28.734]Ooh , you're not kidding
[02:30.104]Yeah , that , uh , that kind of stuff is against the law too , I think
[02:32.995]Well , I got one that's even worse than that:
[02:35.082] 
[02:35.389]On Friday night I went to get some candy
[02:38.832]Some soda and some chips and other stuff
[02:42.218]Along the way I passed a little alley
[02:45.679]And there I saw that canine cop McGruff
[02:49.456]I said to him , hey , you're that famous crime dog !
[02:52.772]He said , I only work from nine to five
[02:56.145]And now it's close to tennish
[02:57.801]And I've got a job to finish
[02:59.468]Cause as you can see , this hooker's still alive !
[03:03.720]All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[03:06.729]They get their kicks from being pricks
[03:10.186]It's a quirk we just can't fix
[03:13.659]Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[03:16.191] 
[03:16.392]That's awful !
[03:17.379]Ugh , imagine McGruff beating up hookers
[03:19.988]He is a dick , he is a dick !
[03:22.015]Yes , yes , he's a nasty cartoon
[03:23.625]But I can top that , listen to this:
[03:25.637] 
[03:25.867]One day as I was strolling through the forest
[03:29.354]I happened on some mushroom covered turf
[03:32.783]And there from underneath a patch of fungus
[03:36.156]Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf
[03:39.708]He said , This is our secret mushroom village
[03:43.031]I said , Then I'm the first to see these views ?
[03:46.696]He said , I'm only kiddin'
[03:48.239]'Cause we only keep it hidden
[03:49.868]From the Asians , Arabs , faggots , blacks , and Jews !
[03:53.805]All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[03:57.086]They get their kicks from being pricks
[04:00.451]It's a quirk we just can't fix
[04:04.048]Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[04:06.491] 
[04:06.809]That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster
[04:09.483]Oh , he is a dirty , nasty racist
[04:11.522]And a bigot , and a homophobe
[04:12.959]And you know what I did when I got home?
[04:14.492]What ?
[04:14.871]I called up Gargamel
[04:16.102]And I told him where the village is
[04:17.485]Hahahahahahahahaha !
[04:18.274]Haha , Sweet !
[04:19.069]Can I go next ?
[04:19.893]Of course , sweetie
[04:21.384]One day I met a...
[04:22.226]Holy crap , look who's here , it's Jason Alexander !
[04:25.267]Hey , cartoon haters
[04:26.938]But , but I was supposed to go next !
[04:29.094]Quiet , honey , Mr. Alexander wants to talk
[04:31.752]I couldn't help overhearing what you were talking about
[04:34.002]And I agree
[04:35.044]Cartoons are real ****in' assholes
[04:37.450]Yeah , that's , uh , sorta what we've been trying to communicate
[04:40.182]Well , get a load of this
[04:41.404]Hahaha , he said “load”
[04:43.369]Haha , hahaha , I know , I heard
[04:46.747] 
[04:47.083]I once met Scooby Doo at a premiere bash
[04:51.099]He looked a little haggard and he stunk
[04:54.351]He said , The trouble started last December
[04:57.769]When Daphne made a pass while she was drunk
[05:01.294]And now he's got a child out of wedlock
[05:04.791]It's dealing his career a fatal blow
[05:08.224]I asked him , Where's the baby ?
[05:09.955]He said , Jason , buddy , maybe
[05:11.671]Now you see why ****in' Scrappy's gotta go !
[05:15.514]All cartoons are ****in' dicks
[05:18.857]They get their kicks from being pricks
[05:22.315]It's a quirk we just can't fix
[05:25.887]Cause all cartoons are ****in' dicks
[05:28.187] 
[05:28.407]Wow , Scrappy is the bastard child of Scooby and Daphne
[05:31.548]Shocking , isn't it ?
[05:32.537]Yeah
[05:33.173]Hey , you douche bags wanna wrap this up ?
[05:35.211] 
[05:35.442]So let us leave you now with one suggestion
[05:43.626]A bit of wisdom you can take for free
[05:52.293]The Mickeys and the Goofys and the Daffys
[06:01.120]Are not the gentle souls they seem to be
[06:09.617]So any time Sylvester catches Tweety
[06:18.502]Or Tom has got poor Jerry in a fix
[06:23.885]( he's in a fix )
[06:27.007]Sit back and just observe it
[06:31.322]Cause the little shits deserve it
[06:36.275]For all cartoons are ****in' dicks !
[06:43.790] 
[06:46.430]So , when do we get to the off-color part of the album ?
[06:51.047]Actually , if I can soften a mood a bit
[06:53.524]I'd like to share a memory with you
[06:55.129]When we were filming "Road to Europe"
[06:56.885]I got a chance to see the lovely city of Paris