Word Crimes Lyrics
| Song | Word Crimes |
| Artist | Weird Al Yankovic |
| Album | Mandatory Fun |
| Download | Image LRC TXT |
| [00:00.66][Intro] | |
| [00:01.39] | Everybody shut up, WOO! |
| [00:06.93] | Everyone listen up! |
| [00:10.57] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [00:11.41] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [00:13.46] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [00:14.63][Verse 1] | |
| [00:17.31] | If you can't write in the proper way |
| [00:21.63] | If you don't know how to conjugate |
| [00:25.24] | Maybe you flunked that class |
| [00:27.55] | And maybe now you find |
| [00:29.52] | That people mock you online |
| [00:32.29][Bridge] | |
| [00:33.03] | Okay, now here's the deal |
| [00:35.55] | I'll try to educate ya |
| [00:37.47] | Gonna familiarize |
| [00:39.39] | You with the nomenclature |
| [00:41.40] | You'll learn the definitions |
| [00:43.39] | Of nouns and prepositions |
| [00:45.45] | Literacy's your mission |
| [00:47.36][Chorus] | |
| [00:48.10] | And that's why I think it's a good time |
| [00:50.95] | To learn some grammar |
| [00:52.92] | Now, did I stammer |
| [00:54.66] | Work on that grammar |
| [00:56.26] | You should know when |
| [00:59.15] | It's "less" or it's "fewer" |
| [01:00.91] | Like people who were |
| [01:02.79] | Never raised in a sewer |
| [01:04.67] | I hate these word crimes |
| [01:07.03] | Like I could care less |
| [01:08.80] | That means you do care |
| [01:11.87] | At least a little |
| [01:12.84] | Don't be a moron |
| [01:14.73] | You'd better slow down |
| [01:16.58] | And use the right pronoun |
| [01:19.26] | Show the world you're no clown |
| [01:20.27][Verse 2] | |
| [01:20.84] | Say you got a "It" |
| [01:22.13] | Followed by apostrophe, "s" |
| [01:24.29] | Now what does that mean? |
| [01:26.55] | You would not use "it’s" in this case |
| [01:28.65] | As a possessive |
| [01:30.38] | It's a contraction |
| [01:32.07] | What's a contraction? |
| [01:34.07] | Well, it's the shortening of a word, or a group of words |
| [01:36.31] | By the omission of a sound or letter |
| [01:36.95][Bridge] | |
| [01:37.23] | Okay, now here's some notes |
| [01:38.46] | Syntax you’re always mangling |
| [01:40.34] | No X in "Espresso" |
| [01:42.07] | Your participle's danglin' |
| [01:44.16] | But I don't want your drama |
| [01:46.26] | If you really wanna |
| [01:48.27] | Leave out that Oxford comma |
| [01:49.62][Chorus] | |
| [01:50.21] | "be", "see", "are", "you" |
| [01:52.81] | Are words, not letters |
| [01:56.29] | Get it together |
| [01:58.18] | Use your spellchecker |
| [01:59.81] | You should never |
| [02:01.91] | Write words using numbers |
| [02:03.50] | Unless you're seven |
| [02:05.46] | Or your name is Prince |
| [02:07.47] | I hate these word crimes |
| [02:09.74] | You really need a |
| [02:11.58] | Full-time proofreader |
| [02:13.36] | You dumb mouthbreather |
| [02:15.25] | Well, you should hire |
| [02:17.57] | Some cunning linguist |
| [02:19.10] | To help you distinguish |
| [02:21.01] | What is proper English |
| [02:22.52][Verse 3] | |
| [02:23.17] | One thing I ask of you |
| [02:24.98] | Time to learn your homophones is past due |
| [02:27.17] | Learn to diagram a sentence too |
| [02:29.05] | Always say to whom |
| [02:30.21] | Don't ever say to who |
| [02:31.17] | And listen up when I tell you this |
| [02:33.03] | I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis |
| [02:35.15] | You finished second grade |
| [02:36.37] | I hope you can tell |
| [02:37.24] | If you're doing good or doing well |
| [02:38.93] | Figure out the difference |
| [02:41.11] | Irony is not coincidence |
| [02:42.89] | And, I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull |
| [02:44.85] | What's figurative and what's literal |
| [02:46.82] | Oh but, just now, you said |
| [02:48.86] | You "literally couldn't get out of bed" |
| [02:51.03] | That really makes me want to literally |
| [02:52.72] | Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head |
| [02:54.45][Chorus] | |
| [02:54.85] | I read your e-mail |
| [02:56.99] | It's quite apparent |
| [02:58.83] | Your grammar's errant |
| [03:00.58] | You're incoherent |
| [03:02.50] | Saw your blog post |
| [03:04.45] | It's really fantastic |
| [03:06.66] | That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!) |
| [03:08.66] | ’Cause you write like a spastic |
| [03:10.19] | I hate these Word Crimes |
| [03:12.89] | Your prose is dopey |
| [03:14.78] | Think you should only |
| [03:16.46] | Write in emoji |
| [03:18.37] | Oh, you're a lost cause |
| [03:20.89] | Go back to preschool |
| [03:22.56] | Get out of the gene pool |
| [03:24.32] | Try your best to not drool |
| [03:25.98][Outro] | |
| [03:26.58] | Never mind, I give up |
| [03:28.86] | Really now, I give up |
| [03:33.29] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [03:35.45] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [03:37.45] | Go Away! |
| [00:00.66][Intro] | |
| [00:01.39] | Everybody shut up, WOO! |
| [00:06.93] | Everyone listen up! |
| [00:10.57] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [00:11.41] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [00:13.46] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [00:14.63][Verse 1] | |
| [00:17.31] | If you can' t write in the proper way |
| [00:21.63] | If you don' t know how to conjugate |
| [00:25.24] | Maybe you flunked that class |
| [00:27.55] | And maybe now you find |
| [00:29.52] | That people mock you online |
| [00:32.29][Bridge] | |
| [00:33.03] | Okay, now here' s the deal |
| [00:35.55] | I' ll try to educate ya |
| [00:37.47] | Gonna familiarize |
| [00:39.39] | You with the nomenclature |
| [00:41.40] | You' ll learn the definitions |
| [00:43.39] | Of nouns and prepositions |
| [00:45.45] | Literacy' s your mission |
| [00:47.36][Chorus] | |
| [00:48.10] | And that' s why I think it' s a good time |
| [00:50.95] | To learn some grammar |
| [00:52.92] | Now, did I stammer |
| [00:54.66] | Work on that grammar |
| [00:56.26] | You should know when |
| [00:59.15] | It' s " less" or it' s " fewer" |
| [01:00.91] | Like people who were |
| [01:02.79] | Never raised in a sewer |
| [01:04.67] | I hate these word crimes |
| [01:07.03] | Like I could care less |
| [01:08.80] | That means you do care |
| [01:11.87] | At least a little |
| [01:12.84] | Don' t be a moron |
| [01:14.73] | You' d better slow down |
| [01:16.58] | And use the right pronoun |
| [01:19.26] | Show the world you' re no clown |
| [01:20.27][Verse 2] | |
| [01:20.84] | Say you got a " It" |
| [01:22.13] | Followed by apostrophe, " s" |
| [01:24.29] | Now what does that mean? |
| [01:26.55] | You would not use " it' s" in this case |
| [01:28.65] | As a possessive |
| [01:30.38] | It' s a contraction |
| [01:32.07] | What' s a contraction? |
| [01:34.07] | Well, it' s the shortening of a word, or a group of words |
| [01:36.31] | By the omission of a sound or letter |
| [01:36.95][Bridge] | |
| [01:37.23] | Okay, now here' s some notes |
| [01:38.46] | Syntax you' re always mangling |
| [01:40.34] | No X in " Espresso" |
| [01:42.07] | Your participle' s danglin' |
| [01:44.16] | But I don' t want your drama |
| [01:46.26] | If you really wanna |
| [01:48.27] | Leave out that Oxford comma |
| [01:49.62][Chorus] | |
| [01:50.21] | " be", " see", " are", " you" |
| [01:52.81] | Are words, not letters |
| [01:56.29] | Get it together |
| [01:58.18] | Use your spellchecker |
| [01:59.81] | You should never |
| [02:01.91] | Write words using numbers |
| [02:03.50] | Unless you' re seven |
| [02:05.46] | Or your name is Prince |
| [02:07.47] | I hate these word crimes |
| [02:09.74] | You really need a |
| [02:11.58] | Fulltime proofreader |
| [02:13.36] | You dumb mouthbreather |
| [02:15.25] | Well, you should hire |
| [02:17.57] | Some cunning linguist |
| [02:19.10] | To help you distinguish |
| [02:21.01] | What is proper English |
| [02:22.52][Verse 3] | |
| [02:23.17] | One thing I ask of you |
| [02:24.98] | Time to learn your homophones is past due |
| [02:27.17] | Learn to diagram a sentence too |
| [02:29.05] | Always say to whom |
| [02:30.21] | Don' t ever say to who |
| [02:31.17] | And listen up when I tell you this |
| [02:33.03] | I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis |
| [02:35.15] | You finished second grade |
| [02:36.37] | I hope you can tell |
| [02:37.24] | If you' re doing good or doing well |
| [02:38.93] | Figure out the difference |
| [02:41.11] | Irony is not coincidence |
| [02:42.89] | And, I thought that you' d gotten it through your skull |
| [02:44.85] | What' s figurative and what' s literal |
| [02:46.82] | Oh but, just now, you said |
| [02:48.86] | You " literally couldn' t get out of bed" |
| [02:51.03] | That really makes me want to literally |
| [02:52.72] | Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head |
| [02:54.45][Chorus] | |
| [02:54.85] | I read your email |
| [02:56.99] | It' s quite apparent |
| [02:58.83] | Your grammar' s errant |
| [03:00.58] | You' re incoherent |
| [03:02.50] | Saw your blog post |
| [03:04.45] | It' s really fantastic |
| [03:06.66] | That was sarcastic Oh, psych! |
| [03:08.66] | ' Cause you write like a spastic |
| [03:10.19] | I hate these Word Crimes |
| [03:12.89] | Your prose is dopey |
| [03:14.78] | Think you should only |
| [03:16.46] | Write in emoji |
| [03:18.37] | Oh, you' re a lost cause |
| [03:20.89] | Go back to preschool |
| [03:22.56] | Get out of the gene pool |
| [03:24.32] | Try your best to not drool |
| [03:25.98][Outro] | |
| [03:26.58] | Never mind, I give up |
| [03:28.86] | Really now, I give up |
| [03:33.29] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [03:35.45] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [03:37.45] | Go Away! |
| [00:00.66][Intro] | |
| [00:01.39] | Everybody shut up, WOO! |
| [00:06.93] | Everyone listen up! |
| [00:10.57] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [00:11.41] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [00:13.46] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [00:14.63][Verse 1] | |
| [00:17.31] | If you can' t write in the proper way |
| [00:21.63] | If you don' t know how to conjugate |
| [00:25.24] | Maybe you flunked that class |
| [00:27.55] | And maybe now you find |
| [00:29.52] | That people mock you online |
| [00:32.29][Bridge] | |
| [00:33.03] | Okay, now here' s the deal |
| [00:35.55] | I' ll try to educate ya |
| [00:37.47] | Gonna familiarize |
| [00:39.39] | You with the nomenclature |
| [00:41.40] | You' ll learn the definitions |
| [00:43.39] | Of nouns and prepositions |
| [00:45.45] | Literacy' s your mission |
| [00:47.36][Chorus] | |
| [00:48.10] | And that' s why I think it' s a good time |
| [00:50.95] | To learn some grammar |
| [00:52.92] | Now, did I stammer |
| [00:54.66] | Work on that grammar |
| [00:56.26] | You should know when |
| [00:59.15] | It' s " less" or it' s " fewer" |
| [01:00.91] | Like people who were |
| [01:02.79] | Never raised in a sewer |
| [01:04.67] | I hate these word crimes |
| [01:07.03] | Like I could care less |
| [01:08.80] | That means you do care |
| [01:11.87] | At least a little |
| [01:12.84] | Don' t be a moron |
| [01:14.73] | You' d better slow down |
| [01:16.58] | And use the right pronoun |
| [01:19.26] | Show the world you' re no clown |
| [01:20.27][Verse 2] | |
| [01:20.84] | Say you got a " It" |
| [01:22.13] | Followed by apostrophe, " s" |
| [01:24.29] | Now what does that mean? |
| [01:26.55] | You would not use " it' s" in this case |
| [01:28.65] | As a possessive |
| [01:30.38] | It' s a contraction |
| [01:32.07] | What' s a contraction? |
| [01:34.07] | Well, it' s the shortening of a word, or a group of words |
| [01:36.31] | By the omission of a sound or letter |
| [01:36.95][Bridge] | |
| [01:37.23] | Okay, now here' s some notes |
| [01:38.46] | Syntax you' re always mangling |
| [01:40.34] | No X in " Espresso" |
| [01:42.07] | Your participle' s danglin' |
| [01:44.16] | But I don' t want your drama |
| [01:46.26] | If you really wanna |
| [01:48.27] | Leave out that Oxford comma |
| [01:49.62][Chorus] | |
| [01:50.21] | " be", " see", " are", " you" |
| [01:52.81] | Are words, not letters |
| [01:56.29] | Get it together |
| [01:58.18] | Use your spellchecker |
| [01:59.81] | You should never |
| [02:01.91] | Write words using numbers |
| [02:03.50] | Unless you' re seven |
| [02:05.46] | Or your name is Prince |
| [02:07.47] | I hate these word crimes |
| [02:09.74] | You really need a |
| [02:11.58] | Fulltime proofreader |
| [02:13.36] | You dumb mouthbreather |
| [02:15.25] | Well, you should hire |
| [02:17.57] | Some cunning linguist |
| [02:19.10] | To help you distinguish |
| [02:21.01] | What is proper English |
| [02:22.52][Verse 3] | |
| [02:23.17] | One thing I ask of you |
| [02:24.98] | Time to learn your homophones is past due |
| [02:27.17] | Learn to diagram a sentence too |
| [02:29.05] | Always say to whom |
| [02:30.21] | Don' t ever say to who |
| [02:31.17] | And listen up when I tell you this |
| [02:33.03] | I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis |
| [02:35.15] | You finished second grade |
| [02:36.37] | I hope you can tell |
| [02:37.24] | If you' re doing good or doing well |
| [02:38.93] | Figure out the difference |
| [02:41.11] | Irony is not coincidence |
| [02:42.89] | And, I thought that you' d gotten it through your skull |
| [02:44.85] | What' s figurative and what' s literal |
| [02:46.82] | Oh but, just now, you said |
| [02:48.86] | You " literally couldn' t get out of bed" |
| [02:51.03] | That really makes me want to literally |
| [02:52.72] | Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head |
| [02:54.45][Chorus] | |
| [02:54.85] | I read your email |
| [02:56.99] | It' s quite apparent |
| [02:58.83] | Your grammar' s errant |
| [03:00.58] | You' re incoherent |
| [03:02.50] | Saw your blog post |
| [03:04.45] | It' s really fantastic |
| [03:06.66] | That was sarcastic Oh, psych! |
| [03:08.66] | ' Cause you write like a spastic |
| [03:10.19] | I hate these Word Crimes |
| [03:12.89] | Your prose is dopey |
| [03:14.78] | Think you should only |
| [03:16.46] | Write in emoji |
| [03:18.37] | Oh, you' re a lost cause |
| [03:20.89] | Go back to preschool |
| [03:22.56] | Get out of the gene pool |
| [03:24.32] | Try your best to not drool |
| [03:25.98][Outro] | |
| [03:26.58] | Never mind, I give up |
| [03:28.86] | Really now, I give up |
| [03:33.29] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [03:35.45] | Hey, hey, hey |
| [03:37.45] | Go Away! |
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