[00:00.66][Intro]
[00:01.39]Everybody shut up, WOO!
[00:06.93]Everyone listen up!
[00:10.57]Hey, hey, hey
[00:11.41]Hey, hey, hey
[00:13.46]Hey, hey, hey
[00:14.63][Verse 1]
[00:17.31]If you can't write in the proper way
[00:21.63]If you don't know how to conjugate
[00:25.24]Maybe you flunked that class
[00:27.55]And maybe now you find
[00:29.52]That people mock you online
[00:32.29][Bridge]
[00:33.03]Okay, now here's the deal
[00:35.55]I'll try to educate ya
[00:37.47]Gonna familiarize
[00:39.39]You with the nomenclature
[00:41.40]You'll learn the definitions
[00:43.39]Of nouns and prepositions
[00:45.45]Literacy's your mission
[00:47.36][Chorus]
[00:48.10]And that's why I think it's a good time
[00:50.95]To learn some grammar
[00:52.92]Now, did I stammer
[00:54.66]Work on that grammar
[00:56.26]You should know when
[00:59.15]It's "less" or it's "fewer"
[01:00.91]Like people who were
[01:02.79]Never raised in a sewer
[01:04.67]I hate these word crimes
[01:07.03]Like I could care less
[01:08.80]That means you do care
[01:11.87]At least a little
[01:12.84]Don't be a moron
[01:14.73]You'd better slow down
[01:16.58]And use the right pronoun
[01:19.26]Show the world you're no clown
[01:20.27][Verse 2]
[01:20.84]Say you got a "It"
[01:22.13]Followed by apostrophe, "s"
[01:24.29]Now what does that mean?
[01:26.55]You would not use "it’s" in this case
[01:28.65]As a possessive
[01:30.38]It's a contraction
[01:32.07]What's a contraction?
[01:34.07]Well, it's the shortening of a word, or a group of words
[01:36.31]By the omission of a sound or letter
[01:36.95][Bridge]
[01:37.23]Okay, now here's some notes
[01:38.46]Syntax you’re always mangling
[01:40.34]No X in "Espresso"
[01:42.07]Your participle's danglin'
[01:44.16]But I don't want your drama
[01:46.26]If you really wanna
[01:48.27]Leave out that Oxford comma
[01:49.62][Chorus]
[01:50.21]"be", "see", "are", "you"
[01:52.81]Are words, not letters
[01:56.29]Get it together
[01:58.18]Use your spellchecker
[01:59.81]You should never
[02:01.91]Write words using numbers
[02:03.50]Unless you're seven
[02:05.46]Or your name is Prince
[02:07.47]I hate these word crimes
[02:09.74]You really need a
[02:11.58]Full-time proofreader
[02:13.36]You dumb mouthbreather
[02:15.25]Well, you should hire
[02:17.57]Some cunning linguist
[02:19.10]To help you distinguish
[02:21.01]What is proper English
[02:22.52][Verse 3]
[02:23.17]One thing I ask of you
[02:24.98]Time to learn your homophones is past due
[02:27.17]Learn to diagram a sentence too
[02:29.05]Always say to whom
[02:30.21]Don't ever say to who
[02:31.17]And listen up when I tell you this
[02:33.03]I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
[02:35.15]You finished second grade
[02:36.37]I hope you can tell
[02:37.24]If you're doing good or doing well
[02:38.93]Figure out the difference
[02:41.11]Irony is not coincidence
[02:42.89]And, I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull
[02:44.85]What's figurative and what's literal
[02:46.82]Oh but, just now, you said
[02:48.86]You "literally couldn't get out of bed"
[02:51.03]That really makes me want to literally
[02:52.72]Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
[02:54.45][Chorus]
[02:54.85]I read your e-mail
[02:56.99]It's quite apparent
[02:58.83]Your grammar's errant
[03:00.58]You're incoherent
[03:02.50]Saw your blog post
[03:04.45]It's really fantastic
[03:06.66]That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
[03:08.66]’Cause you write like a spastic
[03:10.19]I hate these Word Crimes
[03:12.89]Your prose is dopey
[03:14.78]Think you should only
[03:16.46]Write in emoji
[03:18.37]Oh, you're a lost cause
[03:20.89]Go back to preschool
[03:22.56]Get out of the gene pool
[03:24.32]Try your best to not drool
[03:25.98][Outro]
[03:26.58]Never mind, I give up
[03:28.86]Really now, I give up
[03:33.29]Hey, hey, hey
[03:35.45]Hey, hey, hey
[03:37.45]Go Away!