| [00:00.50] |
It was problematic at best to perceive existence |
| [00:04.28] |
with a myopic lens I embedded into myself |
| [00:08.36] |
The lack of gestures limited the effectiveness of my delivery |
| [00:12.75] |
and all she begged for was deliverance |
| [00:15.38] |
Soft, eloquent passages that provided closure. |
| [00:19.34] |
Not answers, just closure |
| [00:22.63] |
And I somehow fashioned together an array of broken glass |
| [00:26.73] |
And that looked enough like a vase that it would pass |
| [00:29.53] |
She would accept it |
| [00:31.22] |
and have a way to keep her roses watered and alive again, |
| [00:38.26] |
when I was broken Prized among the lacklustre thieves |
| [00:42.16] |
immune to pain but pain by immunity |
| [00:44.69] |
She beckoned me and she lessened me because no other love |
| [00:48.35] |
could accommodate my blind fold so easily |
| [00:52.10] |
And I was afraid of change, but I was afraid of not changing |
| [00:59.33] |
And I was afraid of change, but I was afraid of not changing |
| [01:08.37] |
Then a quick flood of blood infecting my brain, |
| [01:11.82] |
dashboard you, dashboard blank slate |
| [01:16.36] |
My narrow lens no longer mattered, |
| [01:18.89] |
no longer weighed in and neither did your fear, |
| [01:23.04] |
or your insecurities, or your smile |
| [01:27.18] |
|
| [01:29.46] |
That moment in three seconds fate circumvented a concrete divider, |
| [01:35.32] |
followed by seven seconds of nervous prayer, |
| [01:38.91] |
nervous cursing, nervous something |
| [01:42.36] |
presented in my lies, those god for saken lies limited it even more |
| [01:46.15] |
presented on my God forsaken lies limited it even more |
| [01:53.73] |
Seven seconds of promising myself, promising myself that if I survived I would stop bargaining |
| [02:01.15] |
I would stop pushing off effort in exchange for more time, |
| [02:03.98] |
I would stop neglecting civil spiritual and personal duties or promises, |
| [02:09.25] |
one of the other, they both seemed likely at that point |
| [02:13.23] |
Two seconds, the longest two seconds |
| [02:15.49] |
I've ever experienced of lying to myself, |
| [02:19.14] |
lying to my God and lying to you |
| [02:23.79] |
The words "I promise" seem so trite and so inaccurate |
| [02:28.48] |
|
| [02:29.18] |
Sirens ended the charade and began an investigation |
| [02:32.36] |
seated on the cold end of a wooden table. |
| [02:34.90] |
I shouted, "This is who I was, but not who I am!" |
| [02:40.41] |
I assured them, mistakes were to be made |
| [02:43.04] |
but lessons were to be learned. |
| [02:44.66] |
I always thought that is what life was; |
| [02:47.65] |
just a collection of moments intended for lessons. |
| [02:52.80] |
Or a collection of lessons looking for moments to fulfill them. |
| [03:00.58] |
So foolish, a passenger caught up in this accident. |
| [03:05.97] |
Nothing mattered beyond the fact |
| [03:09.25] |
that I was broken and hurting and damaged physically. |
| [03:16.42] |
And I praise God that I was a survivor |
| [03:21.76] |
and that's when I heard the fate of the driver. |
| [03:26.92] |
Three seconds later, closure, not answers. |
| [03:32.02] |
Just closure. |
| [03:33.85] |
Lost in the wreckage as a soul ascended, I loved you |
| [03:37.89] |
Lost in the wreckage as a soul ascended, I love you |
| [03:42.65] |
And every day I wish we could trade places |
