It was problematic at best to perceive existence
with a myopic lens I embedded into myself
The lack of gestures limited the effectiveness of my delivery
and all she begged for was deliverance
Soft, eloquent passages that provided closure.
Not answers, just closure
And I somehow fashioned together an array of broken glass
And that looked enough like a vase that it would pass
She would accept it
and have a way to keep her roses watered and alive again,
when I was broken Prized among the lacklustre thieves
immune to pain but pain by immunity
She beckoned me and she lessened me because no other love
could accommodate my blind fold so easily
And I was afraid of change, but I was afraid of not changing
And I was afraid of change, but I was afraid of not changing
Then a quick flood of blood infecting my brain,
dashboard you, dashboard blank slate
My narrow lens no longer mattered,
no longer weighed in and neither did your fear,
or your insecurities, or your smile

That moment in three seconds fate circumvented a concrete divider,
followed by seven seconds of nervous prayer,
nervous cursing, nervous something
presented in my lies, those god for saken lies limited it even more
presented on my God forsaken lies limited it even more
Seven seconds of promising myself, promising myself that if I survived I would stop bargaining
I would stop pushing off effort in exchange for more time,
I would stop neglecting civil spiritual and personal duties or promises,
one of the other, they  both seemed likely at that point
Two seconds, the longest two seconds
I've ever experienced of lying to myself,
lying to my God and lying to you
The words "I promise" seem so trite and so inaccurate

Sirens ended the charade and began an investigation
seated on the cold end of a wooden table.
I shouted, "This is who I was, but not who I am!"
I assured them, mistakes were to be made
but lessons were to be learned.
I always thought that is what life was;
just a collection of moments intended for lessons.
Or a collection of lessons looking for moments to fulfill them.
So foolish, a passenger caught up in this accident.
Nothing mattered beyond the fact
that I was broken and hurting and damaged physically.
And I praise God that I was a survivor
and that's when I heard the fate of the driver.
Three seconds later, closure, not answers.
Just closure.
Lost in the wreckage as a soul ascended, I loved you
Lost in the wreckage as a soul ascended, I love you
And every day I wish we could trade places