| [00:15.280] |
Yeah, look |
| [00:16.850] |
Let me tell you about a kid named Steven |
| [00:18.660] |
He's slowly running out of things to believe in |
| [00:20.730] |
Every couple of months his mom leaves him, |
| [00:22.840] |
for no good reason his step-dad beats him |
| [00:24.960] |
Not too many friends, only ever had a few of them, |
| [00:26.880] |
but recently they don't want anything to do with him |
| [00:29.060] |
Always eating lunch in the bathroom stall, |
| [00:30.990] |
he just wants to feel normal and be cool again, yeah |
| [00:33.110] |
Always feeling like the outcast, he's been going crazy ever since his dad passed |
| [00:36.960] |
He needs guidance and advice but instead |
| [00:38.860] |
he only has breakdowns and flashbacks of the car crash uh |
| [00:41.350] |
It's been getting harder everyday, if he was still around everything would be ok |
| [00:45.300] |
Cuz his dad was always the light at the end of the tunnel, |
| [00:47.540] |
but now that same damn tunnel is looking dark and grey |
| [00:50.030] |
He keeps quiet in the back of the class |
| [00:51.770] |
and when the bell rings Steven hurries home fast |
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scared to death the other kids will kick his ass on the long walk home |
| [00:56.860] |
cuz its happened in the past so |
| [00:58.360] |
He's getting used to the black eyes and fat lips |
| [01:00.190] |
but all he's got is a fake smile and cut wrists |
| [01:02.430] |
Wishin' he could walk right up to them and show them the scars |
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and say look you're the reason that I've done this |
| [01:06.840] |
Maybe they would finally understand and go back to how it was before it all began |
| [01:10.070] |
But he's just a little different so they taunt him and they beat him |
| [01:12.560] |
Yeah it's all just fun and games, they don't give a damn, yeah |
| [01:14.800] |
His older brother ain't around, in and out of jail, hanging with the wrong crowd |
| [01:18.110] |
He's been doing coke, smoking weed, getting drunk all his life he's a shame |
| [01:21.220] |
no, he's not too proud |
| [01:22.520] |
Now his habits are rubbing off on his little bro yeah, but guess what? |
| [01:26.090] |
Little did he know that everytime he did a line, |
| [01:28.080] |
everytime he lit a joint, |
| [01:29.070] |
everytime he took a shot he was sippin mode |
| [01:30.870] |
So Steven's sitting in his room getting high now |
| [01:32.990] |
Doors locked, music up, with his lights out |
| [01:34.980] |
He just takes another tote til his room fills with smoke |
| [01:36.970] |
5-6-7 hours til he knocks out |
| [01:39.270] |
Now he started stealing pills from his mom |
| [01:41.200] |
8-9-10 at a time and now they're gone |
| [01:42.920] |
and maybe for a moment all his problems seem to fade, |
| [01:45.040] |
but the high fades too after not too long |
| [01:47.150] |
and that's when it really sinks in and that's when it hits him |
| [01:49.330] |
that these god damn drugs won't fix him |
| [01:51.440] |
Curled up on the floor, can't take it anymore |
| [01:53.250] |
Now he's talking to God cuz he's the only one that gets him |
| [01:55.490] |
On his knees, looking up, can't stop crying |
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"God I know we haven't talked in a long time |
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but this time I really need you. Please God help me, say something |
| [02:02.650] |
just give me a sign, because now I'm falling apart and |
| [02:04.770] |
I don't think that I can do it. Please God, give me the strength |
| [02:07.070] |
to pull through it. Tell me, Should I give up? I could end it all right now. |
| [02:10.050] |
I just don't know if I'm brave enough to do it. |
| [02:12.290] |
Cuz there's gotta be a better way than suicide. |
| [02:14.680] |
Try to wait it out, give it time, you'll be fine. |
| [02:16.670] |
But it's been so long and I still haven't been able to get rid |
| [02:19.410] |
of all the thoughts that I feel inside. So sick, so angry, so mad |
| [02:22.900] |
and to top it off no one even knows that" |
| [02:24.950] |
That's when he stood up, wiped his tears, walked over to his desk |
| [02:27.680] |
and got a pen and a notepad |
| [02:29.170] |
He just couldn't see it getting any better |
| [02:31.140] |
So on a cold dark night in December, Steven knew exactly what he had to do |
| [02:35.000] |
But first he sat down and wrote a couple letters |
| [02:37.110] |
One to his step-dad, one to his mother, |
| [02:39.170] |
couple to the kids at school, one to his brother |
| [02:41.340] |
Bringing them the pain that they once brought him tear drops on the paper one after another |
| [02:45.900] |
Yeah, I hope that you all feel guilty. |
| [02:47.780] |
Cuz I'm broken now and you can't heal me |
| [02:49.890] |
And now you're all an accompliss in murder |
| [02:51.820] |
each and every one of you has chipped in to kill me |
| [02:53.940] |
So the reason that I'm writing you this evening, |
| [02:55.980] |
is to say goodbye and to tell you that I'm leaving |
| [02:58.100] |
But don't hold your breath cuz I ain't never coming back |
| [03:00.340] |
Sincerely yours, Steven |
