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Worried Brown Eyes - Jake Thackray |
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She always signs her letters "Worried Brown Eyes" |
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The queen of every problem page at seventeen |
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Never a week goes by but "Worried Brown Eyes" |
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Is hanging out her heartachings in the |
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Ladies' weekly magazine |
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She has got a boyfriend, name of Dickie |
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Who would like to go too far |
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You know what Dickies are |
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And she is asking, is he honourable |
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Or is he just a prancing Don Juan |
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But worst of all, she fears |
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Could she love a man who picks his ears? |
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She always signs her letters "Worried Brown Eyes" |
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She says she's got a little mole in a place |
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Where nobody's ever seen |
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And she asks is it unsightly pretty "Brown Eyes" |
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Seeking advice on mole-control |
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In the ladies' weekly magazine |
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Then of course, there's Dickie, desperate Dickie |
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Who is growing very bold |
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His hands are so cold |
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Well now's your chance oh little "Brown Eyes" |
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To be passionate and rash and indiscreet |
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Body and soul, go on, give the lad a treat |
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Show him your mole |
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She always signs her letters "Worried Brown Eyes" |
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Revealing every secret of her shy hygiene |
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She'd like a bigger bosom, "Worried Brown Eyes" |
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Thrashing out her tummy bulge |
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In the ladies' weekly magazine |
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Dickie's been molesting her and |
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Pestering her again |
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He tries his luck |
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He's running amok |
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Every letter's full of tricky Dickie |
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But this week I feel there's something new |
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He must have made his move |
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Something must have happened |
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Her handwriting's improved |
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Oh spare some kind of prayer for |
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"Worried Brown Eyes" |
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Queen of every problem page at seventeen |
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There's never a week goes by but |
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"Worried Brown Eyes" |
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Is hanging out her desperations |
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In the ladies' weekly magazine |
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Would she do it, could she do it, should she? |
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Opening up her heartachings so ill-advisedly |
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Brown Eyes that nobody's ever seen |
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With her Dickie-dido in the |
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Ladies' weekly magazine |