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On Again! on Again! (2006 Remaster) - Jake Thackray |
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I love a good bum on a woman |
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It makes my day |
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To me it is palpable proof of God's |
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Existence a posteriori |
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Also I love breasts and arms and ankles |
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Elbows knees |
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It's the tongue the tongue the tongue |
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On a woman that spoils the job for me |
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Please understand I respect and |
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Admire the frailer sex |
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And I honour them every bit as much |
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As the next misogynist |
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But give some women the ghost of |
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A chance to talk and thereupon |
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They go on again on again on again |
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On again on again on again on |
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I fell in love with a woman with |
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Wonderful thighs and hips |
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And a sensational belly I just never |
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Noticed her lips were always moving |
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Only when we got to the altar and |
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She had to say I Do |
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And she folded her arms and gathered |
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Herself and took in a breath and I knew |
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She could have gone on again on again |
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On again till the entire |
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Congregation passed out and the vicar |
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Passed on and the choirboys |
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Passed through puberty |
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At the reception I gloomily noted |
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Her family's jubilant mood |
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Their maniacal laughter and their |
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Ghastly gratitude |
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She talks to me when I go for a shave |
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Or a sleep or a swim |
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She talks to me on a Sunday when |
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I go singing hymns and drinking heavily |
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When I go mending my chimney pot |
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She's down there in the street |
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And at ninety-five on my motorbike |
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She's on the pillion seat |
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Wittering on again on again |
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On and again and again |
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When I'm eating or drinking or reading |
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Or thinking or when I'm saying my rosary |
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She will never stop talking to me |
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She is one of those women who |
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Will never use three or four words |
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When a couple of thousand will easily do |
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She also talks without stopping |
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To me in our bed of a night |
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Throughout the sweetest of our |
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Intimate delights she never gives over |
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Not even stopping while we go hammer |
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And tongs towards the peak |
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Except maybe for a sigh and a groan |
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And one perfunctory shriek |
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Then she goes on again on again |
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On again on and I must |
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Assume that she has never noticed |
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That she's just been interrupted |
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Totally unruffled she is and |
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As far as I can see |
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I might just as well have been posting a |
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Letter or stirring up the tea |
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She will not take a hint not once |
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She's made a start |
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I can yawn or belch or bleed or faint |
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Or fart - she'll not drop a syllable |
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I could stand in front of her grimly |
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Sharpening up an axe |
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I could sprinkle her with paraffin |
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And ask her for a match |
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She'd just go on again on again |
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On again even more |
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The hind leg of a donkey is peanuts for her |
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She can bore the balls off a buffalo |
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Mother of God I cried one day |
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Oh let your kingdom come |
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And in the meantime Mother |
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Could you strike this bugger dumb |
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Well believe it or not she appeared |
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To me then and there |
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The Blessed Virgin herself in answer |
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To my prayer - despite the vulgarity |
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Shimmering softly dressed in blue |
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And holding up a hand |
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I cocked a pious ear as the |
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Mother of God began |
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But she went on again on again |
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On again on and I |
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Will have to state how very much |
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I sympathise with the rest of the family |
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Give some women the ghost of |
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A chance to talk and thereupon |
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They go on again on again on again on again |
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And again and again and again and again |
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They will go on again on again on again on again |
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On again on again on |