On Again! on Again! (2006 Remaster) - Jake Thackray
I love a good bum on a woman
It makes my day
To me it is palpable proof of God's
Existence  a posteriori
Also I love breasts and arms and ankles
Elbows  knees
It's the tongue  the tongue  the tongue
On a woman that spoils the job for me
Please understand I respect and
Admire the frailer sex
And I honour them every bit as much
As the next misogynist
But give some women the ghost of
A chance to talk and thereupon
They go on again  on again  on again
On again  on again  on again  on
I fell in love with a woman with
Wonderful thighs and hips
And a sensational belly  I just never
Noticed her lips were always moving
Only when we got to the altar and
She had to say I Do
And she folded her arms and gathered
Herself and took in a breath and I knew
She could have gone on again  on again
On again till the entire
Congregation passed out and the vicar
Passed on and the choirboys
Passed through puberty
At the reception I gloomily noted
Her family's jubilant mood
Their maniacal laughter and their
Ghastly gratitude
She talks to me when I go for a shave
Or a sleep  or a swim
She talks to me on a Sunday  when
I go singing hymns  and drinking heavily
When I go mending my chimney pot
She's down there in the street
And at ninety-five on my motorbike
She's on the pillion seat
Wittering on again  on again
On and again and again
When I'm eating or drinking  or reading
Or thinking  or when I'm saying my rosary
She will never stop talking to me
She is one of those women who
Will never use three or four words
When a couple of thousand will easily do
She also talks without stopping
To me in our bed of a night
Throughout the sweetest of our
Intimate delights she never gives over
Not even stopping while we go hammer
And tongs towards the peak
Except maybe for a sigh and a groan
And one perfunctory shriek
Then she goes on again  on again
On again on and I must
Assume that she has never noticed
That she's just been interrupted
Totally unruffled she is  and
As far as I can see
I might just as well have been posting a
Letter or stirring up the tea
She will not take a hint  not once
She's made a start
I can yawn  or belch  or bleed  or faint
Or fart - she'll not drop a syllable
I could stand in front of her grimly
Sharpening up an axe
I could sprinkle her with paraffin
And ask her for a match
She'd just go on again  on again
On again even more
The hind leg of a donkey is peanuts for her
She can bore the balls off a buffalo
Mother of God  I cried one day
Oh  let your kingdom come
And in the meantime  Mother
Could you strike this bugger dumb
Well  believe it or not  she appeared
To me then and there
The Blessed Virgin herself  in answer
To my prayer - despite the vulgarity
Shimmering softly  dressed in blue
And holding up a hand
I cocked a pious ear  as the
Mother of God began
But she went on again  on again
On again on and I
Will have to state how very much
I sympathise with the rest of the family
Give some women the ghost of
A chance to talk and thereupon
They go on again  on again  on again  on again
And again  and again  and again  and again
They will go on again  on again  on again  on again
On again  on again  on