| [00:00.170] |
|
| [00:15.295] |
You pointed out the fence |
| [00:16.522] |
It was leaning towards the neighbor's house |
| [00:19.918] |
The waterlogged firewood from the last few winters |
| [00:23.549] |
Had become one with the fence |
| [00:26.919] |
The mold holding it all together, the weight of the wood |
| [00:29.819] |
The wind blowing in its direction |
| [00:32.300] |
The rain pouring down the hill was too much for the fence |
| [00:36.767] |
|
| [00:42.122] |
A few years earlier, I had an old tree chopped down |
| [00:45.022] |
That was leaning towards the house |
| [00:47.373] |
To protect the roof and for firewood |
| [00:49.698] |
And now I've got twenty yards of fence to rebuild |
| [00:56.829] |
I started bringing the heavy, wet logs into the back area |
| [01:00.304] |
Into whatever I referred to as the Dungeon Area, two or so at a time |
| [01:05.397] |
The doctor said I need more exercise |
| [01:07.827] |
I said, "What kind of exercise?" |
| [01:09.368] |
She said, "It doesn't matter, any kind" |
| [01:13.025] |
I figure I'd have to get some of it out of the way |
| [01:15.507] |
To help whoever I'd hire to repair the fence |
| [01:19.922] |
I was breakin' out with sweat |
| [01:21.855] |
When a neighbor appeared out of nowhere |
| [01:23.579] |
And said, "How's it goin', neighbor?" |
| [01:27.419] |
Why did he have to build a house on that empty lot |
| [01:30.475] |
With tall oaks and pines and sequoias there? |
| [01:33.845] |
|
| [01:41.603] |
Year after year, the grass would grow so tall and get so dry |
| [01:45.182] |
That the property was a borderline fire hazard |
| [01:48.082] |
I called a real estate agent and offered to buy that plot of land |
| [01:51.504] |
But the owner never accepted my offer |
| [01:54.377] |
I wanna maintain my privacy, the house was so enchanting |
| [01:58.400] |
Set back in all the trees |
| [01:59.889] |
I'd bought the house for the curb appeal and seclusion |
| [02:03.206] |
The signs on the street that said, "Deer Crossing" |
| [02:07.099] |
|
| [02:15.667] |
Then I went out there one day |
| [02:17.156] |
And the trees in the lot were chopped down |
| [02:21.048] |
Then I went out there another day and the foundation was built |
| [02:27.474] |
And now there's a house next door |
| [02:29.120] |
And a neighbor guy I never met |
| [02:31.497] |
Until just now when he said, "Hey, how are you doing?" |
| [02:35.311] |
I said, "I'm okay, thanks" |
| [02:36.878] |
And then turned my back on him and walked into the Dungeon |
| [02:41.528] |
I dropped the logs I was holding on the cement floor |
| [02:44.375] |
And closed the door behind me |
| [02:47.615] |
I came back into the house through the Dungeon |
| [02:49.652] |
From another door into the kitchen |
| [02:51.455] |
And said, "This is not how I wanted to spend my fxcking day" |
| [02:54.903] |
|
| [02:58.743] |
Drenched with sweat, I got an iced tea from the fridge |
| [03:01.198] |
And walked up to the highest point of my yard |
| [03:04.098] |
And sat in the sun next to my hot tub |
| [03:06.449] |
To remind myself why I bought the home in the first place |
| [03:11.099] |
I looked off at the pines off in the foothills and called my friend |
| [03:16.532] |
She told me about a strange Chinese restaurant |
| [03:20.137] |
In North Canton, Ohio |
| [03:23.220] |
A five-year-old girl was discovered in a freezer |
| [03:26.459] |
Murdered by her mother |
| [03:29.175] |
Her mom got 22 years |
| [03:31.291] |
The father of the child got a life sentence for influencing |
| [03:35.079] |
And manipulating the mother |
| [03:36.411] |
Into being the abusive mother she'd become |
| [03:39.729] |
My friend also said a dead body was discovered |
| [03:42.420] |
On 8th Street in Massillon, not far from my father's home |
| [03:46.286] |
|
| [03:52.372] |
She said the police got a tip |
| [03:54.018] |
Found the body buried six feet deep (Buried six feet deep) |
| [03:57.414] |
And they also discovered three neglected kids in that house |
| [04:01.384] |
All of them under three years old (Under three years old) |
| [04:05.120] |
Unaccompanied by adults and a neglected dog |
| [04:08.255] |
In the basement (In the basement) |
| [04:10.449] |
I came back in the house and did what I came here to do |
| [04:13.688] |
Dove into my 2017 expenses |
| [04:18.338] |
You were watchin' news upstairs (You were watchin' the news upstairs) |
| [04:20.219] |
A coyote was walking around |
| [04:21.864] |
With a jar on his head, suffocating (With a jar on his head) |
| [04:25.025] |
Someone had some footage of him |
| [04:26.802] |
Roamin' around (Roamin' around) |
| [04:27.899] |
The newscaster said (The newscaster said) |
| [04:30.354] |
"Keep a lookout for him" |
| [04:31.608] |
But they estimated he had 48 hours to live (48 hours to live) |
| [04:38.348] |
I can't take too much of the news anymore |
| [04:40.646] |
The political things are toxic enough |
| [04:44.643] |
Then there's news of dead children, coyotes suffocating |
| [04:47.595] |
And neglected dogs without food or water in basements |
| [04:52.584] |
So we switched channels |
| [04:54.491] |
|
| [04:59.533] |
There was a band on TV, I'd never seen them before |
| [05:02.328] |
To my recollection, there were 12 people on stage |
| [05:05.933] |
Pushing buttons in stationary positions |
| [05:09.538] |
The singer sounded like an even simpler Simple Minds |
| [05:12.699] |
If that's possible |
| [05:14.684] |
But I could pretty much watch anybody perform, to be honest |
| [05:18.916] |
|
| [05:23.513] |
One of my favorite performers is Jimmy Swaggart |
| [05:26.230] |
I could watch him sing gospels all day |
| [05:28.947] |
But anyhow, after Psalm 4, the silver staff band |
| [05:32.082] |
He said, "Please change this, I can't take it anymore |
| [05:34.433] |
This sounds like Tears for Fears" |
| [05:38.638] |
I thought about textin' a friend |
| [05:40.153] |
About how depressed I was by this band |
| [05:43.654] |
By I didn't feel like the back-and-forth |
| [05:45.665] |
That could potentially happen |
| [05:48.983] |
At 51, you gotta call your shots |
| [05:51.726] |
On how your prioritize your time and your back-and-forths |
| [05:56.454] |
Then I spent the day working, doing more things for my house |
| [06:02.410] |
The never-ending fix-up that my mom said I'll be working on |
| [06:06.406] |
Until the day that I die |
| [06:09.097] |
The Money Pit, is the chimney guy calling? |
| [06:13.094] |
The first guy to ever enter my home to do repair on my house |
| [06:18.109] |
Is always somethin', always |
| [06:20.904] |
|
| [06:26.495] |
At 10 P.M., you said you smelled a skunk ("I smell a skunk") |
| [06:29.055] |
And you were right, the odor got more intense |
| [06:32.242] |
I took a piss outside to see if I could smell the skunk and I didn't |
| [06:37.414] |
While I was takin' a piss, I looked up at the moon |
| [06:39.791] |
And my god it was beautiful (I looked up at the moon) |
| [06:41.384] |
And it smelled like pine (Smelled like pine) |
| [06:44.206] |
All my headaches went away |
| [06:46.034] |
For just that moment in time (Moment in time) |
| [06:50.423] |
I came back and I told you |
| [06:51.442] |
I couldn't smell the skunk outside ("I can't smell the skunk outside") |
| [06:54.106] |
But how powerful the smell was |
| [06:56.039] |
When I came back in through the dining room |
| [06:59.226] |
|
| [07:03.432] |
I walked up into the master bedroom |
| [07:05.574] |
And the smell was even worse up there |
| [07:07.820] |
You'd been on the internet, researching |
| [07:09.780] |
And decided it was not a skunk |
| [07:11.556] |
But a gas leak into the house that was going to explode |
| [07:14.691] |
|
| [07:17.486] |
You said, "Put your jacket on fast and take a few things |
| [07:21.038] |
And don't do anything to cause any sparks" |
| [07:24.095] |
I said, "I have nothing on me |
| [07:25.636] |
That would cause anything to make sparks" |
| [07:29.162] |
You said it again, you said, "Don't do anything to make sparks" |
| [07:32.506] |
I said, "I don't smoke cigarettes, I don't have matches |
| [07:35.301] |
Or anything at all to cause anything to make any fxcking sparks" |
| [07:38.880] |
You said, "Well, if you do anything to make any kind of friction |
| [07:42.250] |
It could cause sparks" |
| [07:44.235] |
And at that point, I kept my mouth shut |
| [07:46.873] |
|
| [07:54.240] |
I followed you along down the stairs |
| [07:57.035] |
I said, "Whatever you need from me, whatever you need |
| [08:00.091] |
Just let me know what you need" |
| [08:03.331] |
We took the battery powered lantern from the porch |
| [08:05.917] |
And I walked around the house and proved to you |
| [08:08.294] |
There are no gas lines comin' into my home |
| [08:10.932] |
I know this home like the back of my hand |
| [08:13.806] |
|
| [08:16.993] |
You finally calmed down |
| [08:18.952] |
And I was upset that we had missed Saturday Night Live |
| [08:22.713] |
We came back in, and you told me |
| [08:24.751] |
To look around that big, old, spooky house for the skunk |
| [08:28.539] |
It was 1:30 in the mornin' |
| [08:30.080] |
I said, "What the fxck am I gonna do if I find a skunk? |
| [08:33.110] |
I'm not a skunk catcher |
| [08:34.782] |
You want me to go down into the basement |
| [08:36.480] |
And see if there's a skunk down there, that's where you think he is? |
| [08:39.745] |
Sorry, but I wouldn't even know what to do if I cornered a skunk" |
| [08:43.298] |
|
| [09:09.682] |
I said to you, "Look, here's the deal, we're leavin' tomorrow |
| [09:14.645] |
And who knows how long it's gonna be until we're back here? |
| [09:19.765] |
The skunk was a welcome guest in my home |
| [09:23.553] |
This is my home and I got taxes to work on |
| [09:26.034] |
I don't wanna talk about the skunk anymore" |
| [09:29.979] |
You said, "Calm down, Mark" |
| [09:31.807] |
That you'd been researching more and that skunks were foragers |
| [09:35.830] |
And I said, "What does 'forager' mean?" |
| [09:37.815] |
You said, "That means they don't stay in one spot long" |
| [09:40.663] |
And I said, "Well, there you go |
| [09:41.708] |
He'll be gone within the next few days |
| [09:44.346] |
Problem solved, the skunk problem is resolved" |
| [09:48.134] |
|
| [09:57.486] |
We were exhausted |
| [09:58.217] |
We considered leaving but it was late out there |
| [10:01.848] |
We went to bed with the smell of skunk in the air |
| [10:06.681] |
I was up until three o'clock in the mornin' |
| [10:09.476] |
Reading A Confederacy of Dunces |
| [10:12.010] |
Tired of all the bickering we'd been through |
| [10:13.917] |
We tend to have this bickering way about us |
| [10:16.215] |
On these fast "Quick, let's go check on the house" visits |
| [10:21.492] |
I woke up at six o'clock in the morning |
| [10:23.321] |
My mind was racing, I couldn't fall back asleep |
| [10:26.560] |
So I woke you up, we walked into town |
| [10:28.415] |
I got a bagel, you got an iced coffee and I got an iced tea |
| [10:33.900] |
We came back and I did the usual routines |
| [10:37.113] |
Locked up the house, shut off the water |
| [10:38.968] |
Left money for the maid, turned on the alarm system |
| [10:41.606] |
And set the thermostat |
| [10:43.801] |
|
| [10:48.529] |
And I took photos of the early-blooming daffodils |
| [10:51.507] |
And sent them to my friend |
| [10:53.910] |
I sat at the top of the hill again, takin' in the sun again |
| [10:57.384] |
Tryna remember |
| [10:58.116] |
Why I ever bought this house in the first place again |
| [11:03.758] |
A hummingbird was buzzing around me by the bamboo |
| [11:07.128] |
Smoke was coming out of the chimneys |
| [11:09.061] |
I don't understand myself |
| [11:10.759] |
I spend the first 18 years of my life |
| [11:12.901] |
Trying to get out of a three-bedroom house |
| [11:15.095] |
With a yard full of sticks and squirrels |
| [11:17.107] |
Then, way later in life, I ended up buying a three-bedroom house |
| [11:20.346] |
With a yard full of sticks and squirrels |
| [11:24.082] |
You were in the kitchen, dehydratin' vegetables |
| [11:26.537] |
With the dehydrator your father gave you |
| [11:31.004] |
I walked back down the hill, my back hurting |
| [11:33.773] |
Into the living room door |
| [11:36.228] |
You said, "I'm done dehydrating vegetables |
| [11:38.788] |
I'm packed and ready to go" |
| [11:42.080] |
There was still the faint smell of skunk lingering in the house |
| [11:48.715] |
It was Super Bowl Sunday |
| [11:50.413] |
And the traffic goin' back to San Francisco was hell |
| [11:55.141] |
You dropped me off at my place |
| [11:57.571] |
And I've known you long enough to know |
| [12:01.045] |
That look on your face |
| [12:03.239] |
That says, "I don't wanna see you for a couple of days" |
| [12:08.307] |
So I left you alone, cleaned my apartment, made my bed |
| [12:12.147] |
Opened some windows, cleaned my hardwood floors |
| [12:15.673] |
And I dumped the bag of 2017 paperwork on the living room floor |
| [12:23.066] |
You sent me a text, "Yay, they rescued the coyote |
| [12:26.305] |
And got the jar off his head, he survived" |
