Close But No Cigar

Close But No Cigar Lyrics

Song Close But No Cigar
Artist Weird Al Yankovic
Album Straight Outta Lynwood
Download Image LRC TXT
[00:04.87] Album:Straight Outta Lynwood
[00:07.78] Jillian was her name
[00:10.58] She was sweeter than aspartame
[00:14.08] Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
[00:17.87] And after that I never was the same
[00:21.95] And I loved her even more
[00:25.31] Than Marlon Brando loved souffle
[00:28.49] She was gorgeous, she was charming
[00:32.01] Yeah, she was perfect in every way
[00:36.14] Except she was always using the word "infer"
[00:40.02] When she obviously meant "imply"
[00:43.94] And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
[00:47.40] But frankly, I can't imagine why
[00:50.67] And I told her, I said
[00:51.87] "Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
[00:55.18] No, I don't think we are!
[00:58.02] You're close! (Close!)
[01:00.34] But no cigar!"
[01:03.76] Yankovic-Close But No Cigar
[01:07.00] Then I met sweet young Janet
[01:09.43] Prettiest thing on the planet
[01:13.12] Had a body hotter than a habanjero
[01:17.49] She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
[01:20.82] And I was crazy like Manson about her
[01:23.97] She got me all choked up like Momma Cass
[01:28.35] She had a smile so incredibly radiant
[01:31.44] You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
[01:35.62] I thought after all these years of searching around
[01:39.40] I'd found my soulmate finally
[01:42.55] But one day I found OUT she actually owned a copy
[01:46.99] Of Joe Dirt on DVD
[01:49.81] Oh, no! I said
[01:50.96] "Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
[01:54.89] No I don't think we are!
[01:57.32] You're close! (Close!)
[01:59.75] Oh, so very close! (Close!)
[02:03.92] Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!)
[02:07.01] So close!
[02:08.94] But no cigar!"
[02:15.99] (Oh, yeah!)
[02:19.63] (Oh, no!)
[02:22.30] (Oh, yeah!)
[02:25.09] (Oh, no!)
[02:26.71] (ALL RIGHT!)
[02:30.69][Hand claps, trumpet solo]
[02:35.66] Julie played water polo
[02:37.97] She wore a ribbon on her left manolo
[02:42.16] She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
[02:46.00] My heart was beating like a Buddy Rif solo
[02:49.91] And she was everything I've dreamed of
[02:53.42] She moved right up to #1 on my list
[02:56.96] And did I mention she's a world famous billionare
[03:00.65] Bikini supermodel astrophysicist
[03:04.34] Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
[03:07.94] Look like a big fat slobbering pig
[03:11.57] The only caveat is one of her earlobes
[03:15.66] Was just a little tiny bit too big
[03:18.72] I said
[03:19.89] "Hey! Are we doing government work here?
[03:23.31] No I don't think we are!
[03:25.89] You're close! (Close!)
[03:28.35] So very, very close! (Close!)
[03:32.25] Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close!)
[03:36.07] So close!
[03:37.21] But no cigar!"
[03:39.76] Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
[03:42.22] Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
[03:45.89] Really, really, really close! (No cigar!)
Close But No Cigar Lyrics
YouTube Results (More on YouTube)