Trapped In The Drive-Thru Lyrics
| Song | Trapped In The Drive-Thru |
| Artist | Weird Al Yankovic |
| Album | The Essential |
| Download | Image LRC TXT |
| [00:21.91] | Seven O＇Clock in the evening |
| [00:23.45] | Watchin somethin＇ stupid on TV |
| [00:25.09] | I＇m zoned out on the sofa |
| [00:27.38] | When my wife comes in the room and sees me |
| [00:30.26] | |
| [00:30.47] | She says ＂Is this ＇Behind the Music＇ |
| [00:33.55] | With Lynard Skynard?＂ |
| [00:34.90] | And I say ＂I don＇t know. |
| [00:36.49] | Say, it＇s gettin＇ late...watcha wanna do for dinner? |
| [00:40.06] | |
| [00:40.52] | She says ＂I kinda had a big lunch. |
| [00:41.62] | So I＇m not super hungry.＂ |
| [00:44.56] | I said ＂Well you know, baby, I＇m not starvin＇ either |
| [00:46.73] | But I could eat.＂ |
| [00:47.72] | |
| [00:48.08] | She said ＂So whadya have in mind?＂ |
| [00:49.85] | I said ＂I don＇t know what about you?＂ |
| [00:52.19] | She said ＂I don＇t care, if you＇re hungry, let＇s eat.＂ |
| [00:54.89] | I said ＂That＇s what we＇re gonna do!＂ |
| [00:56.36] | |
| [00:56.75] | ＂But first you gotta tell me |
| [00:58.41] | What it is you＇re hungry for!＂ |
| [01:00.57] | And she says ＂Let me think... |
| [01:02.89] | ...What＇s left in our refridgerator?＂ |
| [01:04.93] | |
| [01:05.80] | I said ＂Well, there＇s tuna, I know.＂ |
| [01:07.66] | She said ＂That went bad a week ago!＂ |
| [01:09.94] | I said ＂Is the chili OK?＂ |
| [01:12.04] | She said ＂You finished that yesterday!＂ |
| [01:14.26] | |
| [01:14.77] | I hopped up and I said |
| [01:16.42] | ＂I don＇t know, do you want to get something delivered?＂ |
| [01:18.73] | She＇s like ＂Why would I want to eat liver? |
| [01:21.64] | I don＇t even like liver!＂ |
| [01:23.53] | |
| [01:23.86] | I＇m like ＂No, I said ＇delivered＇.＂ |
| [01:26.23] | She＇s like ＂I heard you say liver!＂ |
| [01:27.91] | I＇m like ＂I should know what I said...＂ |
| [01:29.89] | She＇s like ＂Whatever, I just don＇t want any liver!＂ |
| [01:32.09] | |
| [01:32.53] | Well I was gonna say something |
| [01:34.39] | But my cell phone started to ring |
| [01:36.61] | Now who could be callin＇ me? |
| [01:38.60] | Well I checked my caller ID |
| [01:40.73] | |
| [01:41.15] | It was just cousin Larry |
| [01:42.94] | Callin＇ for the third time today... |
| [01:44.83] | My wife said ＂Let it go to voicemail.＂ |
| [01:47.92] | I said, ＂OK.＂ |
| [01:49.46] | |
| [01:50.21] | ＂Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right |
| [01:52.27] | So what d＇ya want to do?＂ |
| [01:53.96] | She said ＂Why don＇t you whip up somethin in the kitchen?＂ |
| [01:56.44] | ＂Yeah,＂ I said, ＂Why don＇t you?＂ |
| [01:58.54] | |
| [01:59.03] | And then she said ＂Baby, can＇t we just go out to dinner, please?＂ |
| [02:02.87] | I says ＂No＂ |
| [02:03.71] | She says ＂Yes＂ |
| [02:04.13] | I says ＂No＂ |
| [02:04.60] | She says ＂Yes＂ |
| [02:05.12] | I says ＂No＂ |
| [02:05.62] | She says ＂Yes... |
| [02:06.35] | ...Oh, here＇s your keys＂ |
| [02:08.00] | |
| [02:08.21] | I step a little bit closer |
| [02:09.95] | Say ＂OK, where ya want to go?＂ |
| [02:11.86] | She says ＂How about The Ivy?＂ |
| [02:14.15] | I said ＂Yeah, well I don＇t know...＂ |
| [02:16.25] | |
| [02:16.70] | I don＇t feel like gettin all dressed up |
| [02:19.19] | And eatin＇ expensive food |
| [02:20.96] | She＇s says ＂Olive Garden?＂ |
| [02:23.05] | I say ＂Nah, I＇m not in the mood... |
| [02:25.13] | |
| [02:25.52] | ...And Burrito King would make me gassy |
| [02:28.22] | There＇s no doubt＂ |
| [02:29.57] | She says ＂Just forget about it＂ |
| [02:31.81] | I said ＂No, I swear I＇m gonna take you out!＂ |
| [02:33.95] | |
| [02:34.55] | Then I get an idea |
| [02:36.65] | I says ＂I know what we＇ll do!＂ |
| [02:38.75] | She says ＂What?＂ |
| [02:39.50] | I say ＂Guess＂ |
| [02:39.74] | She says ＂What?＂ |
| [02:40.22] | I say ＂We＇re goin＇ to the drive-thru!＂ |
| [02:42.98] | |
| [02:43.49] | So we head out the front door |
| [02:45.11] | Open the garage door |
| [02:47.55] | Then I open the car doors |
| [02:49.97] | And we get in those car doors |
| [02:51.86] | |
| [02:52.31] | Put my key in the ignition |
| [02:53.99] | And then I turn it sideways |
| [02:56.21] | Then we fasten our seat belts |
| [02:58.40] | As we pull out the driveway |
| [03:00.81] | |
| [03:01.17] | Then we drive to the drive-thru |
| [03:02.91] | Heading off to the drive-thru |
| [03:05.13] | We＇re approaching the drive-thru |
| [03:07.32] | Getting close to the drive-thru! |
| [03:09.42] | |
| [03:09.81] | Almost there at the drive-thru |
| [03:11.70] | Now we＇re here at the drive thru |
| [03:13.83] | Here in line at the drive-thru |
| [03:16.08] | Did I mention the drive-thru? |
| [03:18.39] | |
| [03:27.67] | Well here we are |
| [03:29.19] | In the drive-thru line, me and her. |
| [03:31.71] | Cars in front of us, cars in back of us. |
| [03:34.68] | All just waiting to order |
| [03:36.04] | |
| [03:36.45] | There＇s some idiot in a Volvo |
| [03:38.19] | With his brights on behind me |
| [03:40.39] | I lean out the window and scream |
| [03:42.45] | ＂Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?＂ |
| [03:45.16] | |
| [03:45.54] | My wife says ＂Maybe we should park... |
| [03:47.56] | ...We could just go eat inside.＂ |
| [03:49.66] | I said ＂I＇m wearin＇ bunny slippers |
| [03:51.91] | So I ain＇t leavin＇ this ride...＂ |
| [03:54.13] | |
| [03:54.39] | Now a woman on a speaker box |
| [03:56.52] | Is sayin＇ ＂Can I take your order, please?＂ |
| [03:58.59] | I said ＂Yes indeed, you certainly can |
| [04:00.51] | We＇d like two hamburgers with onions and cheese.＂ |
| [04:02.82] | |
| [04:03.10] | Then my wife says |
| [04:04.62] | ＂Baby, hold on, I＇ve changed my mind! |
| [04:07.26] | I think I＇m gonna have a chicken sandwich |
| [04:10.17] | Instead, this time＂ |
| [04:11.47] | |
| [04:12.09] | I said ＂You always get a cheeseburger!＂ |
| [04:13.80] | She says ＂That＇s not what I＇m hungry for.＂ |
| [04:16.11] | I put my head in my hands and screamed, |
| [04:18.33] | ＂I don＇t know who you are anymore!＂ |
| [04:20.65] | |
| [04:21.12] | The voice on the speaker says |
| [04:22.84] | ＂I don＇t have all day!＂ |
| [04:25.12] | I said ＂Then, take our order, |
| [04:26.94] | And we＇ll be on our way! |
| [04:29.56] | |
| [04:29.95] | I wanna get a chicken sandwich |
| [04:31.99] | And I want a cheeseburger, too |
| [04:34.09] | She＇s like ＂You want onions on that?＂ |
| [04:36.22] | I＇m like ＂Yeah, I already said that I do... |
| [04:38.29] | |
| [04:38.65] | ...Plus we need curly fries |
| [04:40.62] | And don＇t you dare forget it! |
| [04:43.14] | And two medium root beers |
| [04:45.49] | No, just one, we＇ll split it.＂ |
| [04:47.65] | |
| [04:48.00] | Then I said ＂I＇m guessin＇ that |
| [04:49.69] | You＇re probably not too bright... |
| [04:52.03] | So read me back my order |
| [04:54.16] | Let＇s make sure you got it right.＂ |
| [04:56.02] | |
| [04:56.25] | She says ＂One, you want a chicken sandwich. |
| [04:58.51] | Two, you want a cheeseburger |
| [05:00.54] | Three, curly fries, and a large root beer＂ |
| [05:03.72] | ＂Stop, don＇t go no further!＂ |
| [05:05.20] | |
| [05:05.49] | ＂I never ordered a large rootbeer |
| [05:07.36] | I said medium, not large!＂ |
| [05:09.16] | Then she says ＂We＇re havin＇ a special, |
| [05:11.83] | I supersized you at no charge.＂ |
| [05:13.87] | |
| [05:14.17] | ＂Oh.＂ And that＇s all |
| [05:16.91] | I could say, was ＂Oh.＂ |
| [05:18.11] | And she says ＂Now there is somethin＇ else |
| [05:20.24] | That I really think you should know. |
| [05:22.43] | |
| [05:22.94] | You can have unlimited refills |
| [05:24.86] | For just a quarter more...＂ |
| [05:26.78] | I say ＂Great, except we＇re in the drive thru... |
| [05:29.36] | So what would I want that for?＂ |
| [05:31.19] | |
| [05:31.61] | Then she says ＂Wait a minute |
| [05:33.62] | Your voice sounds so familiar...hey, is this Paul? |
| [05:36.77] | And my wife is all like ＂No, that ain＇t Paul, |
| [05:39.41] | Now tell me, who＇s this Paul? |
| [05:41.25] | |
| [05:41.75] | She says ＂Oh, he＇s just some guy |
| [05:43.58] | Who goes to school with me. |
| [05:45.68] | I sat behind him last year |
| [05:47.81] | And I copied off him in Geometry. |
| [05:50.93] | I said ＂I know a guy named Paul. |
| [05:52.59] | He used to be my plumber |
| [05:54.72] | He was prematurely bald |
| [05:56.94] | And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer. |
| [05:59.07] | |
| [05:59.22] | He also had bladder problems |
| [06:01.35] | And a really bad infection on his toe.＂ |
| [06:03.24] | And she said ＂Mister, please, you can stop right there, |
| [06:06.01] | That＇s way more than I needed to know!＂ |
| [06:07.86] | |
| [06:08.14] | And then we both were quiet |
| [06:10.24] | And things got real intense |
| [06:12.46] | Then she says ＂Next window please, |
| [06:14.47] | That＇ll be five dollars and eighty two cents.＂ |
| [06:16.81] | |
| [06:17.01] | So we inched ahead in line |
| [06:19.00] | Movin＇ painfully slow |
| [06:20.98] | I got a little bored |
| [06:23.11] | So I turned on the radio... |
| [06:24.91] | |
| [06:25.34] | |
| [06:37.91] | |
| [06:41.79] | Turned it off |
| [06:42.93] | Because my wife was getting a headache |
| [06:45.42] | So we both just sat there quietly |
| [06:49.39] | For her sake. |
| [06:50.49] | |
| [06:50.94] | Then I looked at her |
| [06:52.15] | And she looked back at me |
| [06:54.46] | And I said ＂Um, |
| [06:56.46] | I think you have somethin＇ in your teeth.＂ |
| [06:58.86] | |
| [06:59.44] | She turned away from me |
| [07:01.11] | And then turned back and said ＂Did I get it?＂ |
| [07:03.63] | I said ＂Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it... |
| [07:06.87] | But hey, ya know, don＇t sweat it.＂ |
| [07:08.67] | |
| [07:08.94] | Then she said ＂How about now?＂ |
| [07:11.70] | I said ＂Yeah, almost. |
| [07:13.00] | There＇s still a little bit there |
| [07:15.18] | But don＇t worry, it＇s probably just a piece of toast.＂ |
| [07:17.31] | |
| [07:17.53] | Now we＇re at the pay window |
| [07:19.00] | Or whatever you call it |
| [07:21.21] | Put my hand in my pocket |
| [07:23.20] | I can＇t believe there＇s no wallet! |
| [07:25.42] | |
| [07:33.19] | And the lady at the window＇s like, |
| [07:34.38] | ＂Well, well that＇ll be five eighty two.＂ |
| [07:38.53] | I turn around to my wife, and say |
| [07:41.40] | ＂How much have you got on you?＂ |
| [07:43.47] | |
| [07:44.16] | She just rolls her eyes and says |
| [07:45.87] | ＂I＇ll pay for this, I guess.＂ |
| [07:48.04] | So she reaches into her purse |
| [07:49.98] | And pulls out the American Express |
| [07:52.44] | |
| [07:52.65] | I hand it to the lady |
| [07:54.54] | And she says ＂Oh, dear. |
| [07:56.64] | It＇s gotta be cash only |
| [07:58.89] | We don＇t take credit cards here.＂ |
| [08:01.17] | |
| [08:01.45] | I took back the card and said |
| [08:03.42] | ＂Gee, really? Well that sucks.＂ |
| [08:05.47] | And that＇s when I found out |
| [08:07.80] | My wife was only carryin＇ three bucks. |
| [08:10.18] | |
| [08:10.36] | I said ＂I thought you were |
| [08:12.46] | Going to hit the ATM today＂ |
| [08:15.19] | She says ＂I never got around to it |
| [08:17.43] | So where＇s your wallet anyway? |
| [08:18.94] | |
| [08:19.48] | And I said ＂Nevermind, |
| [08:20.92] | Just help me to find some change...＂ |
| [08:23.20] | Now the lady at the window |
| [08:25.17] | Is lookin at me kinda strange... |
| [08:27.46] | |
| [08:28.17] | And she says ＂Mister, please, |
| [08:30.04] | We gotta move this line along＂ |
| [08:32.32] | I said ＂Now hold your stinkin＇ horses lady, |
| [08:35.53] | We won＇t be long.＂ |
| [08:36.85] | |
| [08:37.12] | We looked around inside the glove-box |
| [08:39.07] | And check the mat beneath my feet |
| [08:41.53] | I found a nickel in the ashtray |
| [08:43.24] | And a couple pennies and a dime in the space betweent he seats |
| [08:45.52] | |
| [08:45.82] | Before long I had a little pile |
| [08:47.80] | Of coins of every sort |
| [08:50.17] | The lady counts it up and says |
| [08:52.30] | ＂You＇re still about a dollar short＂ |
| [08:54.28] | |
| [08:54.70] | And now my woman＇s got this weird look |
| [08:56.92] | Frozen on her face |
| [08:58.54] | She screams, ＂you know |
| [09:00.34] | I wasn＇t even really hungry in the first place＂ |
| [09:03.25] | |
| [09:03.61] | And so I turned around |
| [09:05.35] | To the cashier again |
| [09:07.63] | I shrugged and said ＂OK |
| [09:09.79] | Forget the chicken sandwich then＂ |
| [09:12.05] | |
| [09:12.38] | So I pick up my change |
| [09:14.41] | Pick up my reciept |
| [09:16.40] | And I drive to the pickup window |
| [09:18.52] | Man, I just can＇t wait to eat |
| [09:20.68] | |
| [09:21.20] | And now we see this acne ridden |
| [09:23.20] | Kid about sixteen |
| [09:25.12] | Wearin＇ a dorky nametag that says |
| [09:27.80] | ＂Hello, my name is Eugene.＂ |
| [09:29.72] | |
| [09:30.07] | And he hands me a paper bag |
| [09:32.23] | I look him in the eyes |
| [09:34.36] | And I say to him ＂Hey, Eugene, |
| [09:36.92] | Can I get some ketchup for my fries?＂ |
| [09:38.77] | |
| [09:38.95] | Well he looks at me |
| [09:40.90] | And I look at him |
| [09:43.34] | And he looks at me |
| [09:45.25] | And I look at him |
| [09:47.86] | |
| [09:48.22] | And he looks at me |
| [09:50.35] | And I look at him |
| [09:52.43] | And he says ＂I＇m sorry |
| [09:54.13] | What did you want again?＂ |
| [09:56.45] | |
| [09:56.77] | I say ＂Ketchup!＂ |
| [09:58.43] | And he says ＂Oh yeah, that＇s right... |
| [10:01.13] | ...I just spaced out there for a second |
| [10:03.26] | I＇m really kind of burnt tonight.＂ |
| [10:05.27] | |
| [10:05.66] | And then he hands me the ketchup |
| [10:07.85] | And now we＇re finally drivin＇ away |
| [10:10.32] | And the food is drivin＇ me mad |
| [10:12.73] | With its intoxicating bouquet |
| [10:14.98] | |
| [10:15.70] | I＇m starvin＇ to death |
| [10:17.20] | By the time we pull up at the traffic light |
| [10:19.21] | I say ＂Baby, gimme that burger, |
| [10:22.07] | I just gotta have a bite!＂ |
| [10:23.99] | |
| [10:24.34] | So she reaches in the bag |
| [10:26.20] | And pulls out the burger |
| [10:28.49] | And she hands me the burger |
| [10:30.35] | And I pick up the burger |
| [10:32.33] | |
| [10:32.63] | And then I unwrap the paper |
| [10:35.30] | I bite into those buns |
| [10:37.77] | And I just can＇t believe it |
| [10:39.83] | They forgot the onions! |
| [10:44.42] |
| [00:21.91] | Seven O Clock in the evening |
| [00:23.45] | Watchin somethin stupid on TV |
| [00:25.09] | I m zoned out on the sofa |
| [00:27.38] | When my wife comes in the room and sees me |
| [00:30.26] | |
| [00:30.47] | She says Is this Behind the Music |
| [00:33.55] | With Lynard Skynard? |
| [00:34.90] | And I say I don t know. |
| [00:36.49] | Say, it s gettin late... watcha wanna do for dinner? |
| [00:40.06] | |
| [00:40.52] | She says I kinda had a big lunch. |
| [00:41.62] | So I m not super hungry. |
| [00:44.56] | I said Well you know, baby, I m not starvin either |
| [00:46.73] | But I could eat. |
| [00:47.72] | |
| [00:48.08] | She said So whadya have in mind? |
| [00:49.85] | I said I don t know what about you? |
| [00:52.19] | She said I don t care, if you re hungry, let s eat. |
| [00:54.89] | I said That s what we re gonna do! |
| [00:56.36] | |
| [00:56.75] | But first you gotta tell me |
| [00:58.41] | What it is you re hungry for! |
| [01:00.57] | And she says Let me think... |
| [01:02.89] | ... What s left in our refridgerator? |
| [01:04.93] | |
| [01:05.80] | I said Well, there s tuna, I know. |
| [01:07.66] | She said That went bad a week ago! |
| [01:09.94] | I said Is the chili OK? |
| [01:12.04] | She said You finished that yesterday! |
| [01:14.26] | |
| [01:14.77] | I hopped up and I said |
| [01:16.42] | I don t know, do you want to get something delivered? |
| [01:18.73] | She s like Why would I want to eat liver? |
| [01:21.64] | I don t even like liver! |
| [01:23.53] | |
| [01:23.86] | I m like No, I said delivered. |
| [01:26.23] | She s like I heard you say liver! |
| [01:27.91] | I m like I should know what I said... |
| [01:29.89] | She s like Whatever, I just don t want any liver! |
| [01:32.09] | |
| [01:32.53] | Well I was gonna say something |
| [01:34.39] | But my cell phone started to ring |
| [01:36.61] | Now who could be callin me? |
| [01:38.60] | Well I checked my caller ID |
| [01:40.73] | |
| [01:41.15] | It was just cousin Larry |
| [01:42.94] | Callin for the third time today... |
| [01:44.83] | My wife said Let it go to voicemail. |
| [01:47.92] | I said, OK. |
| [01:49.46] | |
| [01:50.21] | Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right |
| [01:52.27] | So what d ya want to do? |
| [01:53.96] | She said Why don t you whip up somethin in the kitchen? |
| [01:56.44] | Yeah, I said, Why don t you? |
| [01:58.54] | |
| [01:59.03] | And then she said Baby, can t we just go out to dinner, please? |
| [02:02.87] | I says No |
| [02:03.71] | She says Yes |
| [02:04.13] | I says No |
| [02:04.60] | She says Yes |
| [02:05.12] | I says No |
| [02:05.62] | She says Yes... |
| [02:06.35] | ... Oh, here s your keys |
| [02:08.00] | |
| [02:08.21] | I step a little bit closer |
| [02:09.95] | Say OK, where ya want to go? |
| [02:11.86] | She says How about The Ivy? |
| [02:14.15] | I said Yeah, well I don t know... |
| [02:16.25] | |
| [02:16.70] | I don t feel like gettin all dressed up |
| [02:19.19] | And eatin expensive food |
| [02:20.96] | She s says Olive Garden? |
| [02:23.05] | I say Nah, I m not in the mood... |
| [02:25.13] | |
| [02:25.52] | ... And Burrito King would make me gassy |
| [02:28.22] | There s no doubt |
| [02:29.57] | She says Just forget about it |
| [02:31.81] | I said No, I swear I m gonna take you out! |
| [02:33.95] | |
| [02:34.55] | Then I get an idea |
| [02:36.65] | I says I know what we ll do! |
| [02:38.75] | She says What? |
| [02:39.50] | I say Guess |
| [02:39.74] | She says What? |
| [02:40.22] | I say We re goin to the drivethru! |
| [02:42.98] | |
| [02:43.49] | So we head out the front door |
| [02:45.11] | Open the garage door |
| [02:47.55] | Then I open the car doors |
| [02:49.97] | And we get in those car doors |
| [02:51.86] | |
| [02:52.31] | Put my key in the ignition |
| [02:53.99] | And then I turn it sideways |
| [02:56.21] | Then we fasten our seat belts |
| [02:58.40] | As we pull out the driveway |
| [03:00.81] | |
| [03:01.17] | Then we drive to the drivethru |
| [03:02.91] | Heading off to the drivethru |
| [03:05.13] | We re approaching the drivethru |
| [03:07.32] | Getting close to the drivethru! |
| [03:09.42] | |
| [03:09.81] | Almost there at the drivethru |
| [03:11.70] | Now we re here at the drive thru |
| [03:13.83] | Here in line at the drivethru |
| [03:16.08] | Did I mention the drivethru? |
| [03:18.39] | |
| [03:27.67] | Well here we are |
| [03:29.19] | In the drivethru line, me and her. |
| [03:31.71] | Cars in front of us, cars in back of us. |
| [03:34.68] | All just waiting to order |
| [03:36.04] | |
| [03:36.45] | There s some idiot in a Volvo |
| [03:38.19] | With his brights on behind me |
| [03:40.39] | I lean out the window and scream |
| [03:42.45] | Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me? |
| [03:45.16] | |
| [03:45.54] | My wife says Maybe we should park... |
| [03:47.56] | ... We could just go eat inside. |
| [03:49.66] | I said I m wearin bunny slippers |
| [03:51.91] | So I ain t leavin this ride... |
| [03:54.13] | |
| [03:54.39] | Now a woman on a speaker box |
| [03:56.52] | Is sayin Can I take your order, please? |
| [03:58.59] | I said Yes indeed, you certainly can |
| [04:00.51] | We d like two hamburgers with onions and cheese. |
| [04:02.82] | |
| [04:03.10] | Then my wife says |
| [04:04.62] | Baby, hold on, I ve changed my mind! |
| [04:07.26] | I think I m gonna have a chicken sandwich |
| [04:10.17] | Instead, this time |
| [04:11.47] | |
| [04:12.09] | I said You always get a cheeseburger! |
| [04:13.80] | She says That s not what I m hungry for. |
| [04:16.11] | I put my head in my hands and screamed, |
| [04:18.33] | I don t know who you are anymore! |
| [04:20.65] | |
| [04:21.12] | The voice on the speaker says |
| [04:22.84] | I don t have all day! |
| [04:25.12] | I said Then, take our order, |
| [04:26.94] | And we ll be on our way! |
| [04:29.56] | |
| [04:29.95] | I wanna get a chicken sandwich |
| [04:31.99] | And I want a cheeseburger, too |
| [04:34.09] | She s like You want onions on that? |
| [04:36.22] | I m like Yeah, I already said that I do... |
| [04:38.29] | |
| [04:38.65] | ... Plus we need curly fries |
| [04:40.62] | And don t you dare forget it! |
| [04:43.14] | And two medium root beers |
| [04:45.49] | No, just one, we ll split it. |
| [04:47.65] | |
| [04:48.00] | Then I said I m guessin that |
| [04:49.69] | You re probably not too bright... |
| [04:52.03] | So read me back my order |
| [04:54.16] | Let s make sure you got it right. |
| [04:56.02] | |
| [04:56.25] | She says One, you want a chicken sandwich. |
| [04:58.51] | Two, you want a cheeseburger |
| [05:00.54] | Three, curly fries, and a large root beer |
| [05:03.72] | Stop, don t go no further! |
| [05:05.20] | |
| [05:05.49] | I never ordered a large rootbeer |
| [05:07.36] | I said medium, not large! |
| [05:09.16] | Then she says We re havin a special, |
| [05:11.83] | I supersized you at no charge. |
| [05:13.87] | |
| [05:14.17] | Oh. And that s all |
| [05:16.91] | I could say, was Oh. |
| [05:18.11] | And she says Now there is somethin else |
| [05:20.24] | That I really think you should know. |
| [05:22.43] | |
| [05:22.94] | You can have unlimited refills |
| [05:24.86] | For just a quarter more... |
| [05:26.78] | I say Great, except we re in the drive thru... |
| [05:29.36] | So what would I want that for? |
| [05:31.19] | |
| [05:31.61] | Then she says Wait a minute |
| [05:33.62] | Your voice sounds so familiar... hey, is this Paul? |
| [05:36.77] | And my wife is all like No, that ain t Paul, |
| [05:39.41] | Now tell me, who s this Paul? |
| [05:41.25] | |
| [05:41.75] | She says Oh, he s just some guy |
| [05:43.58] | Who goes to school with me. |
| [05:45.68] | I sat behind him last year |
| [05:47.81] | And I copied off him in Geometry. |
| [05:50.93] | I said I know a guy named Paul. |
| [05:52.59] | He used to be my plumber |
| [05:54.72] | He was prematurely bald |
| [05:56.94] | And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer. |
| [05:59.07] | |
| [05:59.22] | He also had bladder problems |
| [06:01.35] | And a really bad infection on his toe. |
| [06:03.24] | And she said Mister, please, you can stop right there, |
| [06:06.01] | That s way more than I needed to know! |
| [06:07.86] | |
| [06:08.14] | And then we both were quiet |
| [06:10.24] | And things got real intense |
| [06:12.46] | Then she says Next window please, |
| [06:14.47] | That ll be five dollars and eighty two cents. |
| [06:16.81] | |
| [06:17.01] | So we inched ahead in line |
| [06:19.00] | Movin painfully slow |
| [06:20.98] | I got a little bored |
| [06:23.11] | So I turned on the radio... |
| [06:24.91] | |
| [06:25.34] | |
| [06:37.91] | |
| [06:41.79] | Turned it off |
| [06:42.93] | Because my wife was getting a headache |
| [06:45.42] | So we both just sat there quietly |
| [06:49.39] | For her sake. |
| [06:50.49] | |
| [06:50.94] | Then I looked at her |
| [06:52.15] | And she looked back at me |
| [06:54.46] | And I said Um, |
| [06:56.46] | I think you have somethin in your teeth. |
| [06:58.86] | |
| [06:59.44] | She turned away from me |
| [07:01.11] | And then turned back and said Did I get it? |
| [07:03.63] | I said Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it... |
| [07:06.87] | But hey, ya know, don t sweat it. |
| [07:08.67] | |
| [07:08.94] | Then she said How about now? |
| [07:11.70] | I said Yeah, almost. |
| [07:13.00] | There s still a little bit there |
| [07:15.18] | But don t worry, it s probably just a piece of toast. |
| [07:17.31] | |
| [07:17.53] | Now we re at the pay window |
| [07:19.00] | Or whatever you call it |
| [07:21.21] | Put my hand in my pocket |
| [07:23.20] | I can t believe there s no wallet! |
| [07:25.42] | |
| [07:33.19] | And the lady at the window s like, |
| [07:34.38] | Well, well that ll be five eighty two. |
| [07:38.53] | I turn around to my wife, and say |
| [07:41.40] | How much have you got on you? |
| [07:43.47] | |
| [07:44.16] | She just rolls her eyes and says |
| [07:45.87] | I ll pay for this, I guess. |
| [07:48.04] | So she reaches into her purse |
| [07:49.98] | And pulls out the American Express |
| [07:52.44] | |
| [07:52.65] | I hand it to the lady |
| [07:54.54] | And she says Oh, dear. |
| [07:56.64] | It s gotta be cash only |
| [07:58.89] | We don t take credit cards here. |
| [08:01.17] | |
| [08:01.45] | I took back the card and said |
| [08:03.42] | Gee, really? Well that sucks. |
| [08:05.47] | And that s when I found out |
| [08:07.80] | My wife was only carryin three bucks. |
| [08:10.18] | |
| [08:10.36] | I said I thought you were |
| [08:12.46] | Going to hit the ATM today |
| [08:15.19] | She says I never got around to it |
| [08:17.43] | So where s your wallet anyway? |
| [08:18.94] | |
| [08:19.48] | And I said Nevermind, |
| [08:20.92] | Just help me to find some change... |
| [08:23.20] | Now the lady at the window |
| [08:25.17] | Is lookin at me kinda strange... |
| [08:27.46] | |
| [08:28.17] | And she says Mister, please, |
| [08:30.04] | We gotta move this line along |
| [08:32.32] | I said Now hold your stinkin horses lady, |
| [08:35.53] | We won t be long. |
| [08:36.85] | |
| [08:37.12] | We looked around inside the glovebox |
| [08:39.07] | And check the mat beneath my feet |
| [08:41.53] | I found a nickel in the ashtray |
| [08:43.24] | And a couple pennies and a dime in the space betweent he seats |
| [08:45.52] | |
| [08:45.82] | Before long I had a little pile |
| [08:47.80] | Of coins of every sort |
| [08:50.17] | The lady counts it up and says |
| [08:52.30] | You re still about a dollar short |
| [08:54.28] | |
| [08:54.70] | And now my woman s got this weird look |
| [08:56.92] | Frozen on her face |
| [08:58.54] | She screams, you know |
| [09:00.34] | I wasn t even really hungry in the first place |
| [09:03.25] | |
| [09:03.61] | And so I turned around |
| [09:05.35] | To the cashier again |
| [09:07.63] | I shrugged and said OK |
| [09:09.79] | Forget the chicken sandwich then |
| [09:12.05] | |
| [09:12.38] | So I pick up my change |
| [09:14.41] | Pick up my reciept |
| [09:16.40] | And I drive to the pickup window |
| [09:18.52] | Man, I just can t wait to eat |
| [09:20.68] | |
| [09:21.20] | And now we see this acne ridden |
| [09:23.20] | Kid about sixteen |
| [09:25.12] | Wearin a dorky nametag that says |
| [09:27.80] | Hello, my name is Eugene. |
| [09:29.72] | |
| [09:30.07] | And he hands me a paper bag |
| [09:32.23] | I look him in the eyes |
| [09:34.36] | And I say to him Hey, Eugene, |
| [09:36.92] | Can I get some ketchup for my fries? |
| [09:38.77] | |
| [09:38.95] | Well he looks at me |
| [09:40.90] | And I look at him |
| [09:43.34] | And he looks at me |
| [09:45.25] | And I look at him |
| [09:47.86] | |
| [09:48.22] | And he looks at me |
| [09:50.35] | And I look at him |
| [09:52.43] | And he says I m sorry |
| [09:54.13] | What did you want again? |
| [09:56.45] | |
| [09:56.77] | I say Ketchup! |
| [09:58.43] | And he says Oh yeah, that s right... |
| [10:01.13] | ... I just spaced out there for a second |
| [10:03.26] | I m really kind of burnt tonight. |
| [10:05.27] | |
| [10:05.66] | And then he hands me the ketchup |
| [10:07.85] | And now we re finally drivin away |
| [10:10.32] | And the food is drivin me mad |
| [10:12.73] | With its intoxicating bouquet |
| [10:14.98] | |
| [10:15.70] | I m starvin to death |
| [10:17.20] | By the time we pull up at the traffic light |
| [10:19.21] | I say Baby, gimme that burger, |
| [10:22.07] | I just gotta have a bite! |
| [10:23.99] | |
| [10:24.34] | So she reaches in the bag |
| [10:26.20] | And pulls out the burger |
| [10:28.49] | And she hands me the burger |
| [10:30.35] | And I pick up the burger |
| [10:32.33] | |
| [10:32.63] | And then I unwrap the paper |
| [10:35.30] | I bite into those buns |
| [10:37.77] | And I just can t believe it |
| [10:39.83] | They forgot the onions! |
| [10:44.42] |
| [00:21.91] | Seven O Clock in the evening |
| [00:23.45] | Watchin somethin stupid on TV |
| [00:25.09] | I m zoned out on the sofa |
| [00:27.38] | When my wife comes in the room and sees me |
| [00:30.26] | |
| [00:30.47] | She says Is this Behind the Music |
| [00:33.55] | With Lynard Skynard? |
| [00:34.90] | And I say I don t know. |
| [00:36.49] | Say, it s gettin late... watcha wanna do for dinner? |
| [00:40.06] | |
| [00:40.52] | She says I kinda had a big lunch. |
| [00:41.62] | So I m not super hungry. |
| [00:44.56] | I said Well you know, baby, I m not starvin either |
| [00:46.73] | But I could eat. |
| [00:47.72] | |
| [00:48.08] | She said So whadya have in mind? |
| [00:49.85] | I said I don t know what about you? |
| [00:52.19] | She said I don t care, if you re hungry, let s eat. |
| [00:54.89] | I said That s what we re gonna do! |
| [00:56.36] | |
| [00:56.75] | But first you gotta tell me |
| [00:58.41] | What it is you re hungry for! |
| [01:00.57] | And she says Let me think... |
| [01:02.89] | ... What s left in our refridgerator? |
| [01:04.93] | |
| [01:05.80] | I said Well, there s tuna, I know. |
| [01:07.66] | She said That went bad a week ago! |
| [01:09.94] | I said Is the chili OK? |
| [01:12.04] | She said You finished that yesterday! |
| [01:14.26] | |
| [01:14.77] | I hopped up and I said |
| [01:16.42] | I don t know, do you want to get something delivered? |
| [01:18.73] | She s like Why would I want to eat liver? |
| [01:21.64] | I don t even like liver! |
| [01:23.53] | |
| [01:23.86] | I m like No, I said delivered. |
| [01:26.23] | She s like I heard you say liver! |
| [01:27.91] | I m like I should know what I said... |
| [01:29.89] | She s like Whatever, I just don t want any liver! |
| [01:32.09] | |
| [01:32.53] | Well I was gonna say something |
| [01:34.39] | But my cell phone started to ring |
| [01:36.61] | Now who could be callin me? |
| [01:38.60] | Well I checked my caller ID |
| [01:40.73] | |
| [01:41.15] | It was just cousin Larry |
| [01:42.94] | Callin for the third time today... |
| [01:44.83] | My wife said Let it go to voicemail. |
| [01:47.92] | I said, OK. |
| [01:49.46] | |
| [01:50.21] | Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right |
| [01:52.27] | So what d ya want to do? |
| [01:53.96] | She said Why don t you whip up somethin in the kitchen? |
| [01:56.44] | Yeah, I said, Why don t you? |
| [01:58.54] | |
| [01:59.03] | And then she said Baby, can t we just go out to dinner, please? |
| [02:02.87] | I says No |
| [02:03.71] | She says Yes |
| [02:04.13] | I says No |
| [02:04.60] | She says Yes |
| [02:05.12] | I says No |
| [02:05.62] | She says Yes... |
| [02:06.35] | ... Oh, here s your keys |
| [02:08.00] | |
| [02:08.21] | I step a little bit closer |
| [02:09.95] | Say OK, where ya want to go? |
| [02:11.86] | She says How about The Ivy? |
| [02:14.15] | I said Yeah, well I don t know... |
| [02:16.25] | |
| [02:16.70] | I don t feel like gettin all dressed up |
| [02:19.19] | And eatin expensive food |
| [02:20.96] | She s says Olive Garden? |
| [02:23.05] | I say Nah, I m not in the mood... |
| [02:25.13] | |
| [02:25.52] | ... And Burrito King would make me gassy |
| [02:28.22] | There s no doubt |
| [02:29.57] | She says Just forget about it |
| [02:31.81] | I said No, I swear I m gonna take you out! |
| [02:33.95] | |
| [02:34.55] | Then I get an idea |
| [02:36.65] | I says I know what we ll do! |
| [02:38.75] | She says What? |
| [02:39.50] | I say Guess |
| [02:39.74] | She says What? |
| [02:40.22] | I say We re goin to the drivethru! |
| [02:42.98] | |
| [02:43.49] | So we head out the front door |
| [02:45.11] | Open the garage door |
| [02:47.55] | Then I open the car doors |
| [02:49.97] | And we get in those car doors |
| [02:51.86] | |
| [02:52.31] | Put my key in the ignition |
| [02:53.99] | And then I turn it sideways |
| [02:56.21] | Then we fasten our seat belts |
| [02:58.40] | As we pull out the driveway |
| [03:00.81] | |
| [03:01.17] | Then we drive to the drivethru |
| [03:02.91] | Heading off to the drivethru |
| [03:05.13] | We re approaching the drivethru |
| [03:07.32] | Getting close to the drivethru! |
| [03:09.42] | |
| [03:09.81] | Almost there at the drivethru |
| [03:11.70] | Now we re here at the drive thru |
| [03:13.83] | Here in line at the drivethru |
| [03:16.08] | Did I mention the drivethru? |
| [03:18.39] | |
| [03:27.67] | Well here we are |
| [03:29.19] | In the drivethru line, me and her. |
| [03:31.71] | Cars in front of us, cars in back of us. |
| [03:34.68] | All just waiting to order |
| [03:36.04] | |
| [03:36.45] | There s some idiot in a Volvo |
| [03:38.19] | With his brights on behind me |
| [03:40.39] | I lean out the window and scream |
| [03:42.45] | Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me? |
| [03:45.16] | |
| [03:45.54] | My wife says Maybe we should park... |
| [03:47.56] | ... We could just go eat inside. |
| [03:49.66] | I said I m wearin bunny slippers |
| [03:51.91] | So I ain t leavin this ride... |
| [03:54.13] | |
| [03:54.39] | Now a woman on a speaker box |
| [03:56.52] | Is sayin Can I take your order, please? |
| [03:58.59] | I said Yes indeed, you certainly can |
| [04:00.51] | We d like two hamburgers with onions and cheese. |
| [04:02.82] | |
| [04:03.10] | Then my wife says |
| [04:04.62] | Baby, hold on, I ve changed my mind! |
| [04:07.26] | I think I m gonna have a chicken sandwich |
| [04:10.17] | Instead, this time |
| [04:11.47] | |
| [04:12.09] | I said You always get a cheeseburger! |
| [04:13.80] | She says That s not what I m hungry for. |
| [04:16.11] | I put my head in my hands and screamed, |
| [04:18.33] | I don t know who you are anymore! |
| [04:20.65] | |
| [04:21.12] | The voice on the speaker says |
| [04:22.84] | I don t have all day! |
| [04:25.12] | I said Then, take our order, |
| [04:26.94] | And we ll be on our way! |
| [04:29.56] | |
| [04:29.95] | I wanna get a chicken sandwich |
| [04:31.99] | And I want a cheeseburger, too |
| [04:34.09] | She s like You want onions on that? |
| [04:36.22] | I m like Yeah, I already said that I do... |
| [04:38.29] | |
| [04:38.65] | ... Plus we need curly fries |
| [04:40.62] | And don t you dare forget it! |
| [04:43.14] | And two medium root beers |
| [04:45.49] | No, just one, we ll split it. |
| [04:47.65] | |
| [04:48.00] | Then I said I m guessin that |
| [04:49.69] | You re probably not too bright... |
| [04:52.03] | So read me back my order |
| [04:54.16] | Let s make sure you got it right. |
| [04:56.02] | |
| [04:56.25] | She says One, you want a chicken sandwich. |
| [04:58.51] | Two, you want a cheeseburger |
| [05:00.54] | Three, curly fries, and a large root beer |
| [05:03.72] | Stop, don t go no further! |
| [05:05.20] | |
| [05:05.49] | I never ordered a large rootbeer |
| [05:07.36] | I said medium, not large! |
| [05:09.16] | Then she says We re havin a special, |
| [05:11.83] | I supersized you at no charge. |
| [05:13.87] | |
| [05:14.17] | Oh. And that s all |
| [05:16.91] | I could say, was Oh. |
| [05:18.11] | And she says Now there is somethin else |
| [05:20.24] | That I really think you should know. |
| [05:22.43] | |
| [05:22.94] | You can have unlimited refills |
| [05:24.86] | For just a quarter more... |
| [05:26.78] | I say Great, except we re in the drive thru... |
| [05:29.36] | So what would I want that for? |
| [05:31.19] | |
| [05:31.61] | Then she says Wait a minute |
| [05:33.62] | Your voice sounds so familiar... hey, is this Paul? |
| [05:36.77] | And my wife is all like No, that ain t Paul, |
| [05:39.41] | Now tell me, who s this Paul? |
| [05:41.25] | |
| [05:41.75] | She says Oh, he s just some guy |
| [05:43.58] | Who goes to school with me. |
| [05:45.68] | I sat behind him last year |
| [05:47.81] | And I copied off him in Geometry. |
| [05:50.93] | I said I know a guy named Paul. |
| [05:52.59] | He used to be my plumber |
| [05:54.72] | He was prematurely bald |
| [05:56.94] | And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer. |
| [05:59.07] | |
| [05:59.22] | He also had bladder problems |
| [06:01.35] | And a really bad infection on his toe. |
| [06:03.24] | And she said Mister, please, you can stop right there, |
| [06:06.01] | That s way more than I needed to know! |
| [06:07.86] | |
| [06:08.14] | And then we both were quiet |
| [06:10.24] | And things got real intense |
| [06:12.46] | Then she says Next window please, |
| [06:14.47] | That ll be five dollars and eighty two cents. |
| [06:16.81] | |
| [06:17.01] | So we inched ahead in line |
| [06:19.00] | Movin painfully slow |
| [06:20.98] | I got a little bored |
| [06:23.11] | So I turned on the radio... |
| [06:24.91] | |
| [06:25.34] | |
| [06:37.91] | |
| [06:41.79] | Turned it off |
| [06:42.93] | Because my wife was getting a headache |
| [06:45.42] | So we both just sat there quietly |
| [06:49.39] | For her sake. |
| [06:50.49] | |
| [06:50.94] | Then I looked at her |
| [06:52.15] | And she looked back at me |
| [06:54.46] | And I said Um, |
| [06:56.46] | I think you have somethin in your teeth. |
| [06:58.86] | |
| [06:59.44] | She turned away from me |
| [07:01.11] | And then turned back and said Did I get it? |
| [07:03.63] | I said Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it... |
| [07:06.87] | But hey, ya know, don t sweat it. |
| [07:08.67] | |
| [07:08.94] | Then she said How about now? |
| [07:11.70] | I said Yeah, almost. |
| [07:13.00] | There s still a little bit there |
| [07:15.18] | But don t worry, it s probably just a piece of toast. |
| [07:17.31] | |
| [07:17.53] | Now we re at the pay window |
| [07:19.00] | Or whatever you call it |
| [07:21.21] | Put my hand in my pocket |
| [07:23.20] | I can t believe there s no wallet! |
| [07:25.42] | |
| [07:33.19] | And the lady at the window s like, |
| [07:34.38] | Well, well that ll be five eighty two. |
| [07:38.53] | I turn around to my wife, and say |
| [07:41.40] | How much have you got on you? |
| [07:43.47] | |
| [07:44.16] | She just rolls her eyes and says |
| [07:45.87] | I ll pay for this, I guess. |
| [07:48.04] | So she reaches into her purse |
| [07:49.98] | And pulls out the American Express |
| [07:52.44] | |
| [07:52.65] | I hand it to the lady |
| [07:54.54] | And she says Oh, dear. |
| [07:56.64] | It s gotta be cash only |
| [07:58.89] | We don t take credit cards here. |
| [08:01.17] | |
| [08:01.45] | I took back the card and said |
| [08:03.42] | Gee, really? Well that sucks. |
| [08:05.47] | And that s when I found out |
| [08:07.80] | My wife was only carryin three bucks. |
| [08:10.18] | |
| [08:10.36] | I said I thought you were |
| [08:12.46] | Going to hit the ATM today |
| [08:15.19] | She says I never got around to it |
| [08:17.43] | So where s your wallet anyway? |
| [08:18.94] | |
| [08:19.48] | And I said Nevermind, |
| [08:20.92] | Just help me to find some change... |
| [08:23.20] | Now the lady at the window |
| [08:25.17] | Is lookin at me kinda strange... |
| [08:27.46] | |
| [08:28.17] | And she says Mister, please, |
| [08:30.04] | We gotta move this line along |
| [08:32.32] | I said Now hold your stinkin horses lady, |
| [08:35.53] | We won t be long. |
| [08:36.85] | |
| [08:37.12] | We looked around inside the glovebox |
| [08:39.07] | And check the mat beneath my feet |
| [08:41.53] | I found a nickel in the ashtray |
| [08:43.24] | And a couple pennies and a dime in the space betweent he seats |
| [08:45.52] | |
| [08:45.82] | Before long I had a little pile |
| [08:47.80] | Of coins of every sort |
| [08:50.17] | The lady counts it up and says |
| [08:52.30] | You re still about a dollar short |
| [08:54.28] | |
| [08:54.70] | And now my woman s got this weird look |
| [08:56.92] | Frozen on her face |
| [08:58.54] | She screams, you know |
| [09:00.34] | I wasn t even really hungry in the first place |
| [09:03.25] | |
| [09:03.61] | And so I turned around |
| [09:05.35] | To the cashier again |
| [09:07.63] | I shrugged and said OK |
| [09:09.79] | Forget the chicken sandwich then |
| [09:12.05] | |
| [09:12.38] | So I pick up my change |
| [09:14.41] | Pick up my reciept |
| [09:16.40] | And I drive to the pickup window |
| [09:18.52] | Man, I just can t wait to eat |
| [09:20.68] | |
| [09:21.20] | And now we see this acne ridden |
| [09:23.20] | Kid about sixteen |
| [09:25.12] | Wearin a dorky nametag that says |
| [09:27.80] | Hello, my name is Eugene. |
| [09:29.72] | |
| [09:30.07] | And he hands me a paper bag |
| [09:32.23] | I look him in the eyes |
| [09:34.36] | And I say to him Hey, Eugene, |
| [09:36.92] | Can I get some ketchup for my fries? |
| [09:38.77] | |
| [09:38.95] | Well he looks at me |
| [09:40.90] | And I look at him |
| [09:43.34] | And he looks at me |
| [09:45.25] | And I look at him |
| [09:47.86] | |
| [09:48.22] | And he looks at me |
| [09:50.35] | And I look at him |
| [09:52.43] | And he says I m sorry |
| [09:54.13] | What did you want again? |
| [09:56.45] | |
| [09:56.77] | I say Ketchup! |
| [09:58.43] | And he says Oh yeah, that s right... |
| [10:01.13] | ... I just spaced out there for a second |
| [10:03.26] | I m really kind of burnt tonight. |
| [10:05.27] | |
| [10:05.66] | And then he hands me the ketchup |
| [10:07.85] | And now we re finally drivin away |
| [10:10.32] | And the food is drivin me mad |
| [10:12.73] | With its intoxicating bouquet |
| [10:14.98] | |
| [10:15.70] | I m starvin to death |
| [10:17.20] | By the time we pull up at the traffic light |
| [10:19.21] | I say Baby, gimme that burger, |
| [10:22.07] | I just gotta have a bite! |
| [10:23.99] | |
| [10:24.34] | So she reaches in the bag |
| [10:26.20] | And pulls out the burger |
| [10:28.49] | And she hands me the burger |
| [10:30.35] | And I pick up the burger |
| [10:32.33] | |
| [10:32.63] | And then I unwrap the paper |
| [10:35.30] | I bite into those buns |
| [10:37.77] | And I just can t believe it |
| [10:39.83] | They forgot the onions! |
| [10:44.42] |
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