|
Step right up |
|
We bring to you the finest entertainment |
|
And I am pleased to be your humble servant |
|
Accept our hospitality, indulge in abnormality |
|
Step right up |
|
We've something here for everyone's enjoyment |
|
I do this as a gift, not for employment |
|
A portrait of insanity, approached with pure humanity |
|
Come see our girls, crazy girls |
|
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride |
|
Those girls, crazy girls |
|
They're hot |
|
They're nuts |
|
They're suicidal |
|
Tickets cheap, it's a crime |
|
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime |
|
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time |
|
Come see the girls, girls, girls |
|
Some of them are really quite attractive as you see |
|
Some are truly hideous, I'm sure that you'll agree |
|
While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me |
|
But you mustn't let them fool you, just one more rule |
|
You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye |
|
And that one, let's just keep walking by |
|
These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply |
|
Grab another cup of tea, and follow me |
|
To see our girls, crazy girls |
|
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride |
|
Those girls, crazy girls |
|
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal |
|
Tickets cheap, it's a crime |
|
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime |
|
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time |
|
Come see the girls, girls, girls |
|
Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide |
|
For a penny more, go on and ask, we have nothing here to hide. |
|
Quiet down! You sir |
|
If insanity's primarily a femininish malady, |
|
And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact, |
|
Then according to the medics, have they faultier genetics? |
|
Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract? |
|
It has all to do with reproductive organs |
|
Which are naturally unstable in a dame |
|
You see from lunar, we have, lunacy and lunatic and loony |
|
And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moon |
|
I have a question |
|
Has any patient ever been released |
|
Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior would decrease? |
|
For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduce |
|
So while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose |
|
Come see the girls, crazy girls |
|
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride |
|
Those girls, crazy girls |
|
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal |
|
Tickets cheap, it's a crime |
|
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime |
|
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time |
|
Come see the girls, girls, girls |
|
Some are born mad |
|
Some achieve madness |
|
Some have madness thrust upon them |
|
This is the real thing my friends, 100 percent, authentic, mentally-ill |
|
Accept no imitations |
|
For a little extra on the side, you can arrange |
|
For a slightly more intimate encounter, wink wink |
|
For a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmates |
|
We've got pills for depression, obsession, aggression, possession, indiscretion, |
|
But there's a bloody pill for everything these days |
|
How big is a lady's brain? |
|
It's really very, very small, a simple thought is quite a strain |
|
This seems just a bit inhumane |
|
That's just a simple little shock, it doesn't cause her any pain |
|
They're really more like animals than people |
|
Which has been proven haven't any souls at all. |
|
The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior |
|
And these are only useful in a seedy music hall |
|
They don't bite, well they might |
|
I say this one does look hungry tonight |
|
So get your picture with an inmate |
|
But be sure she's locked up tight |
|
They're practically wild sir |
|
Protect your child sir |
|
They don't recall the taste of freedom |
|
They're just happy if we feed them |
|
So point and laugh, it isn't bad |
|
They oughtn't mind because they're mad! |
|
If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls |
|
You're welcome to enjoy |
|
Our girls, crazy girls |
|
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride |
|
Those girls, crazy girls |
|
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal |
|
Tickets cheap, it's a crime |
|
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime |
|
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time |
|
I've got a lot more words to say, but I just can't make them rhyme |
|
So ladies, let this be a lesson to you, keep your hair uncut |
|
Your corsets tight, your morals high |
|
Your knitting neat, your yappers shut |
|
This is what comes of over-educating, |
|
mentally over-stimulating, |
|
too much serious conversating, |
|
organized religion-hating, |
|
sinful over-copulating, |
|
marriage without pro-creating, |
|
girl-on-girl caught lesbiating, |
|
she was caught while masturbating, |
|
they all mind manipulating, |
|
chronically hallucinating, |
|
certainly there's no debating, |
|
some we just find fascinating, |
|
women's rights facilitating, |
|
independent thought creating, |
|
she may just be complicating, |
|
get your money out we're waiting |
|
To see those |
|
Girls! |
|
Girls! |
|
Girls! |