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You will need to arrive at a quarter to five |
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if your plane is departing at ten. |
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When you called for a seat, we advised you to meet |
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at the gate and we'd let you know then. |
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The seats are so teeny you'll sit like Houdini. |
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Be quiet and listen to this, |
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If we should fall in a fiery ball, |
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kiss your own ass good-bye, then your kids. |
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On the plane, on the plane, |
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You will do exactly as we say. |
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You'll remain in your seat |
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with your bags at your feet |
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till the speech is complete on the plane. |
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If we sit on the runway from now until Monday |
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well all we can say is "too bad". |
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Up front there's free liquor and they get there quicker, |
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so those folks are not quite as mad. |
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You've paid your dinero, this movie's just fair |
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Oh but here comes the part that's so good. |
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Then the pilot will cut in; "We can't see Cleveland, |
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but if it weren't cloudy, we could". |
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On the plane all is well, |
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Just think of it as practicing for hell. |
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I'm in five, you're in four, |
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you lean back anymore, |
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you'll be shoved out the door of the plane. |
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We are not responsible for...anything. |
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And everything can go wrong. |
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We really don't know where we'll go or when. |
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And you may never see your bags again. |
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Such a shame, on the plane. |
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Your carry on stuff has to fit in this box. |
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If it doesn't and you make us wait, |
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you'll be pulled from the line with a hook from behind |
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and then beaten and shot at the gate. |
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The air that you're breathing's been re-circulating |
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since Orville and Wilbur were boys. |
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If you should choke, here's a thimble of coke. |
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You do realize that coughing annoys? |
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On the plane, on the plane |
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People are we perfectly insane? |
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The skies are not so friendly. |
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Delta isn't ready. |
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I prefer the bus. |
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USAIR begins with US. |
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It's truly torturous |
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on the plane...on the plane. |
