| Song | Christmas |
| Artist | Beat Happening |
| Album | 1983-85 |
| Download | Image LRC TXT |
| I had sex on Christmas | |
| I had sex three times today | |
| Three different women taught be how to be bored | |
| In their own separate, sweet, little ways | |
| I feel like hell on Christmas | |
| And I feel like hell today | |
| I feel like hell, when I wake up I can tell | |
| That I'm never gonna make you stay | |
| Okay, here it goes | |
| I didn't get no presents on Christmas | |
| And I sure didn't get none today | |
| Learned my lesson | |
| Life is one long session of disappointment, heartache, pain | |
| Disappointment | |
| Heartache | |
| Pain | |
| ...and despair |