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All women are crazy, |
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All men are dumb. |
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'Cause though we know they're crazy, |
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We still want some. |
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It's nothing new, |
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And it's sad but true: |
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That we just can't quit 'em, |
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And we can't live with 'em, |
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What's a man to do? |
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Back in the bible |
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There was a tree |
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Lord said to Adam, |
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"Don't you eat that fruit" |
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He said, "Fine by me." |
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But then along came Eve, |
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Looking to do wrong. |
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And on account of her curves, |
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And his lack of nerves, |
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Adam went along. |
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'Cause all women are crazy, |
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All men are dumb. |
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'Cause though we know they're crazy, |
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We still want some. |
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It's nothing new, |
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And it's sad but true: |
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That we just can't quit 'em |
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And we can't live with 'em |
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What's a man to do? |
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Take my old lady, |
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I bought her a gown. |
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We were fixing |
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To go out mixing |
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Out on the town. |
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She said, "Do I look fat?" |
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I said, "Heck no! |
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Just a little round..." |
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And since that day, |
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I've walked this way. |
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It hurts to sit down. |
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'Cause all women are crazy, |
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All men are dumb. |
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'Cause though we know they're crazy, |
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We still want some. |
|
It's nothing new. |
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And it's sad but true: |
|
That we just can't quit 'em, |
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And we can't live with 'em, |
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What's a man to do? |
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"---Fellas, there comes a time in every woman's life... About once a month, to be exact. When they get all ornery. Oh, they start kicking and fussing and fighting and... We don't know what's wrong with them. In about a week, they generally come around... And they'll look you right in the eye, too, and they'll say: "I'm sorry, honey, I was just PMSing." Now, ladies, I feel for you, I really do. It's not an easy thing to go through. But since we already know the outcome, I'd like to propose an experiment: Fellas, the next time your woman gets crazy. I'm gonna guess, about a month from now. I want you to look her right in the eye and I want you to ask her "Honey, are you sure you're not just PMSing?" And then grab you're gonna your balls and run for the hills!---" |
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When I met my lady, |
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And asked for her hand. |
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She was the calmest, |
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And the sweetest girl in all the land. |
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But then the ring went on, |
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And she went all wrong. |
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Like a midnight thriller, |
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She went BrideZilla, |
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Spat pea soup and become a killer, |
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She ate three kids |
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And my auntie's wig |
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And the pastor's dog. |
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Why?! |
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'Cause all women are crazy, |
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All men are dumb. |
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'Cause though we know they're crazy, |
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We still want some. |
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It's nothing new, |
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And it's sad but true: |
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That we just can't quit 'em, |
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And we can't live with 'em, |
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You just can't shoot 'em, |
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Or you'll end in prison. |
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And the biker from Hell, |
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In your prison cell |
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Might take a shine to you. |
