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Step right up, step right up, step right up, |
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Everyone's a winner, bargains galore |
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That's right, you too can be the proud owner |
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Of the quality goes in before the name goes on |
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One-tenth of a dollar, one-tenth of a dollar, we got service after sales |
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You need perfume? we got perfume, how 'bout an engagement ring? |
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Something for the little lady, something for the little lady, |
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Something for the little lady, hmm |
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Three for a dollar |
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We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale |
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And a smoke-damaged furniture, you can drive it away today |
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Act now, act now, and receive as our gift, our gift to you |
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They come in all colors, one size fits all |
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No muss, no fuss, no spills, you're tired of kitchen drudgery |
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Everything must go, going out of business, going out of business |
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Going out of business sale |
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Fifty percent off original retail price, skip the middle man |
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Don't settle for less |
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How do we do it? how do we do it? volume, volume, turn up the volume |
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Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate |
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Don't be caught with your drawers down, |
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Don't be caught with your drawers down |
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You can step right up, step right up |
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That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices, |
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Never stops, lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn |
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And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school |
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It gets rid of unwanted facial hair, it gets rid of embarrassing age spots, |
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It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens |
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And it finds that slipper that's been at large |
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under the chaise lounge for several weeks |
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And it plays a mean Rhythm Master, |
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It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar |
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And it's only a dollar, step right up, it's only a dollar, step right up |
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'Cause it forges your signature |
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If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product |
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For complete refund of price of purchase |
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Step right up |
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Please allow thirty days for delivery, don't be fooled by cheap imitations |
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You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it |
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Swim in it, sleep in it, |
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Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it |
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Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets, that's right |
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And it entertains visiting relatives, it turns a sandwich into a banquet |
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Tired of being the life of the party? |
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Change your shorts, change your life, change your life |
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Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife, |
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And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax |
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Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator |
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See you later alligator |
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And it steals your car |
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It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking |
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It's a friend, and it's a companion, |
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And it's the only product you will ever need |
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Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing |
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Well it takes weights off hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff, |
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Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job |
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And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange, |
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And it gives you denture breath |
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And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion |
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And it gets rid of your traveler's checks |
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It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned |
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Well it takes care of business, never needs winding, |
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Never needs winding, never needs winding |
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Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis, |
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Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy, |
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C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon |
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'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors, |
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It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection |
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It gives you an erection, it wins the election |
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Why put up with painful corns any longer? |
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It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home |
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We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed |
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How do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it |
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We need your business, we're going out of business |
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We'll give you the business |
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Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale |
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Receive our free brochure, free brochure |
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Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions, batteries not included |
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Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available, |
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Step right up, step right up, step right up |
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You got it buddy: the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away |
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Step right up, you can step right up, you can step right up |
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C'mon step right up |
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(Get away from me kid, you bother me...) |
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Step right up, step right up, step right up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon |
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Step right up, you can step right up, c'mon and step right up, |
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C'mon and step right up |