| [00:00.10] |
CHOIRGIRL: |
| [00:04.29] |
Bless this day, |
| [00:08.53] |
Pinnacle of life, |
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Husband joined to wife. |
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The heart leaps up to behold |
| [00:22.97] |
This golden day. |
| [00:32.66] |
PAUL: |
| [00:36.82] |
Today is for Amy, |
| [00:41.49] |
Amy, I give you the rest of my life, |
| [00:46.05] |
To cherish and to keep you, to honor you forever. |
| [00:53.54] |
Today is for Amy, |
| [00:56.85] |
My happily soon-to-be wife. |
| [01:05.92] |
AMY: |
| [01:07.03] |
Pardon me is everybody here? |
| [01:07.81] |
Because if everybody's here, |
| [01:08.95] |
I want to thank you all for coming to the wedding, |
| [01:09.77] |
I'd appreciate your going even more, |
| [01:10.70] |
I mean you must have lots of better things to do, |
| [01:11.92] |
and not a word of this to Paul, |
| [01:12.74] |
remember Paul, you know, the man I'm gonna marry, |
| [01:13.93] |
but I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin |
| [01:14.77] |
anyone as wonderful as he is-- |
| [01:15.71] |
Thank you all |
| [01:16.38] |
For the gifts and the flowers, |
| [01:17.42] |
Thank you all, |
| [01:17.98] |
Now it's back to the showers, |
| [01:18.83] |
Don't tell Paul, |
| [01:19.38] |
But I'm not getting married today. |
| [01:22.26] |
CHOIRGIRL: |
| [01:23.41] |
Bless this day, |
| [01:27.76] |
Tragedy of life, |
| [01:30.96] |
Husband joined to wife. |
| [01:34.06] |
The heart sinks down and feels dead |
| [01:42.88] |
This dreadful day. |
| [02:00.74] |
AMY: |
| [02:02.43] |
Listen, everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for a wedding, |
| [02:04.14] |
what's a wedding, it's a prehistoric ritual where everybody promises fidelity forever, |
| [02:06.90] |
which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of, |
| [02:08.27] |
which is followed by a honeymoon, |
| [02:08.89] |
where suddenly he'll realize he's saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, |
| [02:10.84] |
which he should-- |
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Thanks a bunch, |
| [02:11.82] |
But I'm not getting married-- |
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Go have lunch, |
| [02:13.14] |
'Cause I'm not getting married-- |
| [02:13.90] |
You've been grand, |
| [02:14.65] |
But I'm not getting married-- |
| [02:15.41] |
Don't just stand there, |
| [02:16.13] |
I'm not getting married-- |
| [02:16.88] |
And don't tell Paul, |
| [02:17.59] |
But I'm not getting married today. |
| [02:19.87] |
Go, can't you go? |
| [02:21.13] |
Why is no- |
| [02:21.92] |
Body listening? |
| [02:22.81] |
Goodbye, |
| [02:23.43] |
Go and cry |
| [02:24.21] |
At another person's wake. |
| [02:25.75] |
If you're quick, |
| [02:26.54] |
For a kick, |
| [02:27.29] |
You could pick |
| [02:28.15] |
Up a christening, |
| [02:28.95] |
But please, |
| [02:29.70] |
On my knees, |
| [02:30.38] |
There's a human life at stake! |
| [02:32.28] |
Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear, or do you want to |
| [02:34.22] |
see a crazy lady fall apart in front of you, it isn't only Paul |
| [02:35.38] |
who may be ruining his life, you know we'll both of us be losing |
| [02:36.84] |
our identities, I telephoned my analyst about it and he said to |
| [02:38.96] |
see him Monday, but by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with |
| [02:40.83] |
the other garbage-- |
| [02:41.37] |
I'm not well, |
| [02:41.76] |
So I'm not getting married-- |
| [02:42.36] |
You've been swell, |
| [02:43.12] |
But I'm not getting married-- |
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Clear the hall, |
| [02:44.68] |
'Cause I'm not getting married-- |
| [02:45.42] |
Thank you all, |
| [02:46.16] |
But I'm not getting married-- |
| [02:47.01] |
And don't tell Paul, |
| [02:47.67] |
But I'm not getting married today. |
| [02:50.81] |
CHOIRGIRL: |
| [02:51.86] |
Bless this bride, |
| [02:55.97] |
Totally insane, |
| [02:59.14] |
Slipping down the drain. |
| [03:02.36] |
And bless this day in our hearts |
| [03:11.08] |
As it starts |
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To rain. |
| [03:21.24] |
PAUL:Today is for |
| [03:22.86] |
AMY: |
| [03:23.70] |
Go, can't you go? Amy, |
| [03:24.63] |
Look, you know Amy, |
| [03:25.39] |
I adore you all, I give you |
| [03:26.20] |
But why The rest of |
| [03:27.13] |
Watch me die My life, |
| [03:27.79] |
Like Eliza on the ice? To cherish |
| [03:29.23] |
Look, perhaps And to keep you, |
| [03:30.06] |
I'll collapse To honor you |
| [03:30.89] |
In the apse Forever, |
| [03:31.75] |
Right before you all, Today is for Amy, |
| [03:32.69] |
So take My happily |
| [03:33.70] |
Back the cake, Soon-to-be |
| [03:34.35] |
Burn the shoes and boil the rice. Wife, |
| [03:35.97] |
Look, I didn't wanna have to My adorable |
| [03:36.84] |
tell you, but I may be coming Wife. |
| [03:37.64] |
down with Hepatitis, and I |
| [03:38.16] |
think I'm gonna faint, so if |
| [03:38.86] |
you wanna see me faint, I'll |
| [03:39.53] |
do it happily, but wouldn't |
| [03:40.30] |
it be funnier to go and watch |
| [03:41.04] |
a funeral, so thank you for the |
| [03:41.87] |
twenty-seven dinner plates, |
| [03:42.81] |
thirty-seven butter knives, |
| [03:43.44] |
forty-seven paperweights, |
| [03:44.16] |
fifty-seven candleholders-- |
| [03:45.04] |
PAUL: One more thing-- |
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AMY: I am not getting married!(CHOIR: Amen!) |
| [03:46.45] |
PAUL: Softly said-- |
| [03:47.19] |
AMY: But I'm not getting married!(CHOIR: Amen!) |
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PAUL: With this ring-- |
| [03:48.79] |
AMY: Still I'm not getting married!(CHOIR: Amen!) |
| [03:49.48] |
PAUL: I thee wed. |
| [03:50.22] |
AMY: See, I'm not getting married!(CHOIR: Amen!) |
| [03:50.88] |
PAUL: AMY: |
| [03:51.03] |
Let us pray Let us pray |
| [03:52.04] |
That we are getting married That I'm not getting married |
| [03:52.59] |
Today! Today!(CHOIR: Amen!) |
| [03:52.67] |
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