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Old Jack he had a sack of them magic beans, |
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This garden's been sown for a long, long time. |
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Now everywhere you look, you see a pillar of green, |
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And the reaper's just waiting 'til we're ripe on the vine. |
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A bright red apple led us into sin, |
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The Devil's been cooking for a long, long time. |
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So it could be an eggplant to lead us back again, |
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That sounds just fine. |
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We're going back to the garden, and out of the night, |
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I saw a fiery head of broccoli in a dream. |
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There'll be artichokes and rutabagas, |
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Collard greens and sweet potatoes, |
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Reaching from the earth to push us into the light. |
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Gonna carve a jack-o-lantern, hang the garlic high, |
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This crop's been coming for a long, long time. |
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Flaming red peppers will rain down from the sky, |
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And your tap water'll turn into okra slime. |
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There'll come a day you step out of the house, |
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And see a thousand armed soldiers with potatoes in their mouth. |
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Everyone's damned, and everyone's saved, |
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With a parsley garnish on every grave. |
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My friends, we are standing at the dawn of a new era. The United League of Vegetation, has just unanimously approved the new legislation, which places complete restriction on all forms of human migration. |
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Anyone caught moving faster than a turnip will be shot. |
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Now, I know what you're all thinking: What am I going to do with myself? I've got to go pick up the kids. There's a turkey in the oven. Relax. Don't panic. This isn't so bad. You've just got to calm down. |
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Now, close your eyes and imagine a bright, red, pulsing orb just in front of your forehead. Can you see it? Good. Can you feel it? I said, can you feel it? |
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Can you feel the beet? |
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Oh, forget about your taxes and your student loans, |
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This garden's pesticide free, organically grown. |
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Listen to your roots, they'll tell you what's real. |
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This world is an onion, all center, all peel. |
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From the heavens comes a hale, |
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Of cabbage cauliflower and kale. |
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They're reaching from the earth to push us into the light. |
