National Shite Day Lyrics

Song	National Shite Day
Artist	Half Man Half Biscuit
Album	CSI: Ambleside
Download	Image LRC TXT

	Pulling the ice axe from my leg
	I staggered on
	Spindrift stinging my remaining eye
	I finally managed to reach the station
	Only to find that the bus replacement service had broken down
	After wondering to myself whether it should actually be called a train replacement service
	I walked out onto the concourse and noticed the giant screen seemed to have been tampered with
	Probably by a junior employee
	Disgruntled commuters were being regaled with some dismal TVM
	Involving a tug-of-love-custody-battle
	Stockard Channing held sway
	Down in the High Street somebody careered out of Boots without due care or attention
	I suggest that they learn some pedestrian etiquette
	i.e sidle out of the store gingerly
	Embrace the margin
	Fat kids with sausage rolls
	Poor sods conducting polls
	There’s a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
	I try to put everything into perspective
	Set it against the scale of human suffering
	And I thought of the Mugabe government
	And the children of the Calcutta railways
	This works for a while
	But then I encounter Primark FM
	Overhead a rainbow appears
	In black and white
	Shite Day
	I guess this must be National Shite Day
	This surely must be National Shite Day
	Don’t tell me, it’s National Shite Day
	Float… float on
	Float… float on
	Barry… Herpes
	I got a letter from Stringy Bob
	Still on suicide watch
	Screws not happy
	Spotted a Marsh Fritillary during association
	Was roundly ignored
	What news you
	I felt sorry for him
	He’d only been locked up for public nuisance offences
	One of which saw him beachcombing the Dee Estuary
	Found a dead wading bird
	Took it home, parcelled it up, and sent it off to the rubber-faced irritant Phil Cool
	With a note inside which read: “Is this your Sanderling?”
	Another time saw him answering an advert in the music press
	“Keyboard player required: Doors, Floyd, etc.
	Must be committed, no time wasters”
	You can guess the rest
	I always imagined he would simply wander off some day into the hills
	To be found months later
	His carcass stripped by homeless dogs
	His exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow
	I folded away the letter and put it in my inside pocket
	All of a sudden I felt brushed by the wings of something dark
	May the Lord have mercy on Stringy Bob
	Shite Day
	I do believe it’s National Shite Day
	It all points to National Shite Day
	Someone’s declared it National Shite Day
	Shite Day
	My birthday! On National Shite Day
	No bogroll, it’s National Shite Day
	Cue drumroll, it’s National Shite Day

	Pulling the ice axe from my leg
	I staggered on
	Spindrift stinging my remaining eye
	I finally managed to reach the station
	Only to find that the bus replacement service had broken down
	After wondering to myself whether it should actually be called a train replacement service
	I walked out onto the concourse and noticed the giant screen seemed to have been tampered with
	Probably by a junior employee
	Disgruntled commuters were being regaled with some dismal TVM
	Involving a tugoflovecustodybattle
	Stockard Channing held sway
	Down in the High Street somebody careered out of Boots without due care or attention
	I suggest that they learn some pedestrian etiquette
	i. e sidle out of the store gingerly
	Embrace the margin
	Fat kids with sausage rolls
	Poor sods conducting polls
	There' s a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
	I try to put everything into perspective
	Set it against the scale of human suffering
	And I thought of the Mugabe government
	And the children of the Calcutta railways
	This works for a while
	But then I encounter Primark FM
	Overhead a rainbow appears
	In black and white
	Shite Day
	I guess this must be National Shite Day
	This surely must be National Shite Day
	Don' t tell me, it' s National Shite Day
	Float float on
	Float float on
	Barry Herpes
	I got a letter from Stringy Bob
	Still on suicide watch
	Screws not happy
	Spotted a Marsh Fritillary during association
	Was roundly ignored
	What news you
	I felt sorry for him
	He' d only been locked up for public nuisance offences
	One of which saw him beachcombing the Dee Estuary
	Found a dead wading bird
	Took it home, parcelled it up, and sent it off to the rubberfaced irritant Phil Cool
	With a note inside which read: " Is this your Sanderling?"
	Another time saw him answering an advert in the music press
	" Keyboard player required: Doors, Floyd, etc.
	Must be committed, no time wasters"
	You can guess the rest
	I always imagined he would simply wander off some day into the hills
	To be found months later
	His carcass stripped by homeless dogs
	His exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow
	I folded away the letter and put it in my inside pocket
	All of a sudden I felt brushed by the wings of something dark
	May the Lord have mercy on Stringy Bob
	Shite Day
	I do believe it' s National Shite Day
	It all points to National Shite Day
	Someone' s declared it National Shite Day
	Shite Day
	My birthday! On National Shite Day
	No bogroll, it' s National Shite Day
	Cue drumroll, it' s National Shite Day

	Pulling the ice axe from my leg
	I staggered on
	Spindrift stinging my remaining eye
	I finally managed to reach the station
	Only to find that the bus replacement service had broken down
	After wondering to myself whether it should actually be called a train replacement service
	I walked out onto the concourse and noticed the giant screen seemed to have been tampered with
	Probably by a junior employee
	Disgruntled commuters were being regaled with some dismal TVM
	Involving a tugoflovecustodybattle
	Stockard Channing held sway
	Down in the High Street somebody careered out of Boots without due care or attention
	I suggest that they learn some pedestrian etiquette
	i. e sidle out of the store gingerly
	Embrace the margin
	Fat kids with sausage rolls
	Poor sods conducting polls
	There' s a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
	I try to put everything into perspective
	Set it against the scale of human suffering
	And I thought of the Mugabe government
	And the children of the Calcutta railways
	This works for a while
	But then I encounter Primark FM
	Overhead a rainbow appears
	In black and white
	Shite Day
	I guess this must be National Shite Day
	This surely must be National Shite Day
	Don' t tell me, it' s National Shite Day
	Float float on
	Float float on
	Barry Herpes
	I got a letter from Stringy Bob
	Still on suicide watch
	Screws not happy
	Spotted a Marsh Fritillary during association
	Was roundly ignored
	What news you
	I felt sorry for him
	He' d only been locked up for public nuisance offences
	One of which saw him beachcombing the Dee Estuary
	Found a dead wading bird
	Took it home, parcelled it up, and sent it off to the rubberfaced irritant Phil Cool
	With a note inside which read: " Is this your Sanderling?"
	Another time saw him answering an advert in the music press
	" Keyboard player required: Doors, Floyd, etc.
	Must be committed, no time wasters"
	You can guess the rest
	I always imagined he would simply wander off some day into the hills
	To be found months later
	His carcass stripped by homeless dogs
	His exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow
	I folded away the letter and put it in my inside pocket
	All of a sudden I felt brushed by the wings of something dark
	May the Lord have mercy on Stringy Bob
	Shite Day
	I do believe it' s National Shite Day
	It all points to National Shite Day
	Someone' s declared it National Shite Day
	Shite Day
	My birthday! On National Shite Day
	No bogroll, it' s National Shite Day
	Cue drumroll, it' s National Shite Day

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