| Song | Took Problem Chimp To Ideal Home Show |
| Artist | Half Man Half Biscuit |
| Album | CSI: Ambleside |
| So banish me to the furnace | |
| I must own though | |
| My actions are in no way born | |
| Out of some sort of Darwinist offensive | |
| I just get a bit fidgety times | |
| Thumbs twiddle in the middle of a funfair | |
| High jinks to break up the so-so | |
| Me thinks we need a little ho ho ho | |
| Go – Earl’s Court | |
| A bag of rivets for the goon at the entrance | |
| Straight’ways the floor gets slippery | |
| Eyes glaze, and Bobby’s getting jittery | |
| Don’t tease him | |
| It don’t please him | |
| What’s that, you want me to appease him? | |
| How so, Sir? With Tetris? | |
| Not possible – didn’t bring the GameBoy | |
| Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show | |
| Once in a while I need these childish kicks | |
| Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show | |
| God speed the trial to cite my childish kicks | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Brickbats for Sottsass | |
| Bouquets for the chuckling footstool | |
| In the heart of darkness | |
| There are no hassle-free cabinets | |
| Sometimes occasional tables | |
| Mid-air, look kind of dangerous | |
| Llewelyn-Bowen, two Carols | |
| Go on Bobby, both barrels | |
| Three cheers for the infinite leaflets | |
| Ticker-tape got me thinking of Kempes | |
| Funky fabric | |
| Hip hip hooray | |
| There’s no stopping him | |
| Rip rip away | |
| Heaven – yes | |
| Distant now | |
| One imagines | |
| After this lot | |
| Still gasp | |
| At his agility | |
| Albeit in the tree of tranquility | |
| Yes it’s a mess | |
| I don’t deny the crime | |
| But look I’ve reduced your ironing time | |
| Multifunctional, is that what you call it? | |
| Well here’s a thought | |
| Feel free to install it | |
| Your sink may well be superior | |
| But we all stink once we reach the interior | |
| Next week I’m taking him up west | |
| We’ve not seen Lord of the Dance | |
| Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show | |
| Once in a while I need these childish kicks | |
| Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show | |
| God speed the trial to cite my childish kicks | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children |
| So banish me to the furnace | |
| I must own though | |
| My actions are in no way born | |
| Out of some sort of Darwinist offensive | |
| I just get a bit fidgety times | |
| Thumbs twiddle in the middle of a funfair | |
| High jinks to break up the soso | |
| Me thinks we need a little ho ho ho | |
| Go Earl' s Court | |
| A bag of rivets for the goon at the entrance | |
| Straight' ways the floor gets slippery | |
| Eyes glaze, and Bobby' s getting jittery | |
| Don' t tease him | |
| It don' t please him | |
| What' s that, you want me to appease him? | |
| How so, Sir? With Tetris? | |
| Not possible didn' t bring the GameBoy | |
| Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show | |
| Once in a while I need these childish kicks | |
| Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show | |
| God speed the trial to cite my childish kicks | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Brickbats for Sottsass | |
| Bouquets for the chuckling footstool | |
| In the heart of darkness | |
| There are no hasslefree cabinets | |
| Sometimes occasional tables | |
| Midair, look kind of dangerous | |
| LlewelynBowen, two Carols | |
| Go on Bobby, both barrels | |
| Three cheers for the infinite leaflets | |
| Tickertape got me thinking of Kempes | |
| Funky fabric | |
| Hip hip hooray | |
| There' s no stopping him | |
| Rip rip away | |
| Heaven yes | |
| Distant now | |
| One imagines | |
| After this lot | |
| Still gasp | |
| At his agility | |
| Albeit in the tree of tranquility | |
| Yes it' s a mess | |
| I don' t deny the crime | |
| But look I' ve reduced your ironing time | |
| Multifunctional, is that what you call it? | |
| Well here' s a thought | |
| Feel free to install it | |
| Your sink may well be superior | |
| But we all stink once we reach the interior | |
| Next week I' m taking him up west | |
| We' ve not seen Lord of the Dance | |
| Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show | |
| Once in a while I need these childish kicks | |
| Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show | |
| God speed the trial to cite my childish kicks | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children | |
| Wade in the water, wade in the water, children |