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Zappa Frank |
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Fillmore East June 1970 |
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Do You Like My New Car? |
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You are... you gotta tell me something... I mean, seriously, I'm |
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tellin' you this is the first time that any of my girlfriends and I |
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have ever met anybody really from Hollywood... I mean, really... my |
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girlfriend Jim, and Ian, and Aynsley, and Bob, and Frank... I mean, |
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none of us... |
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Pleased to meet you... |
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Hi Howie |
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We never met a pop star from Hollywood... tell me something: have |
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you ever met Davey Jones? or Bobby Sherman? |
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No.. no, I .. |
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I mean... David Cassady, he's so... |
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Jimmy Greenspoon, once I... |
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Three Dog Night?!! |
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Yeah... |
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Oh! I love them! They're my favorite band!.. ow gawd.. oh, do you |
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like my new car? I'm ah.. my Dad just gave it to me for graduation.. |
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Ah yeaah?!! I'ts a ... it's a Fillmore, isn't it? Real futuristic, |
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ah.. I dig the fins... listen: do you know how to get to the ah |
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Hollywood Inn from here? |
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No, ah.. which one is it? |
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(burp) excuse me. It's the one by the airport... you know... cause |
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we gotta get up early an'.. fly outta here in the morning, |
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y'know... |
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Oh, I didn't know that... Where do you guys play tomorrow night? I |
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mean, I'd like to come maybe... in your bus or somethin'... |
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Yeah?.. |
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(Voice in background): |
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In the BUS! |
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Come in the bus, huh?... Tomorrow we're in ah, let's see... Tierra |
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del Fuego... |
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Ook! You're so professional, Howie! |
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Oh, it's not... it's nothing... |
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Howie, I mean, the way you gettin' tp-tp to play, an all these |
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exotic places, I mean... |
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Yeah |
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Tell me something.. tell me and my girl-... TELL me: Do you really |
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have a hit record... on the charts now?... with a BULLET? ... I mean |
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that's really important to me... |
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Listen, honey: Would I lie to you just to get in your pants? |
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He-Het! Listen! Hey, listen to me tellin' ya: WE ARE NOT GROUPIES! |
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Naw, I never.. I never said... |
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We are not groupies! You better understand that!.. I told Robert |
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Planet, I told Elton John, I told all those big guys... |
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Robert PLANET?! |
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We are not groupies! |
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No, I never.. |
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Roger Daltrey never laid a hand on me! |
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Yaw.. it's obvious to see why... listen, I never... |
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(2nd non-groupie): |
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Howie.. |
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(1st non-groupie): |
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Tell him! Tell him right now! |
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(2nd non-groupie): |
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We only like musicians for f-friends. You know? |
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(voices in back): |
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Real straight arrow, Howie, Really... just for friends, Howie... |
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(2nd non-groupie): |
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But we still like you Yeah.. we wouldn't mind coming in your bus, |
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but.. |
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(2nd non-groupie): |
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I mean, we still want to hear your record... |
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Listen you chicks!now didn' .. didn't you just say that you got off |
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bein' juked with a BABY OCTOPUS and spewed upon with cream corn? |
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an' that your hair-lipped dyke-o bass-playing girlfriend on the |
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backseat had to have it with a YOO-HOO bottle or she went |
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apeshit?!.. |
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Ooooh.. |
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What's the deal, baby? Come on.. |
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Howie! Howie, lissen yo me... all that's true.. |
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Come across.. |
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All that's true, and sometimes I even dig it with a Doctor Brown's |
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Cream Soda... or a CEL-RAY!... but! we are not groupies! No matter |
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what you think... |
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No, I never... |
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We are not groupies.. |
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You see, there seems to be some kind of a communication problem, |
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honey... because I... I am a lonely guy from outta town, y'know |
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an'... an' I want some ACTION... what I'm talkin' about is, I |
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wanna... a-a-steaming... succulent... ever-widening, gooey, drippy, |
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runny kind of a hole with a... with... how shall I put this... what |
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say we hop in the trunk of your Gremlin AN' GET OUR ROCKS OFF... |
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Hey! hey-hey-hey-heyyyy.... Jesus!... |
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(voice in back): |
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I'm in this band, man... |
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(voice up front): |
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Very agile, Howie, very agile... |
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(voice in back): |
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I am in this band no matter what we do up here... it's all... |
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Now lissen! It just so happend... tonight me and my girlfriends, I |
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mean, we've all come here for one thing tonight... |
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Yeah? |
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Looking for a guy... And we're looking for a guy from a group |
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Wow |
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BUT HE'S GOTTA HAVE A DICK! |
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WAAAH! |
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AND HE'S GOTTA HAVE A DICK THAT'S A MONSTER!! |
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WAAAAAAAAH!... That's me!! That's me! ooh! ... oooohh, you |
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voluptouns Manhattan Island clit.. Take me... I'm yours, you |
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hole... Fulfill my... wildest... dreams!.... |
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Ooooh! Anything for you, my most seductive, seclusive... pop star of |
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a man... picture this if you can: bead jobs! knotted nylons! bamboo |
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canes! three unreleased recordings of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young |
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fighting in the dressing-room of the Fillmore East! Why, 'n |
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enchilada wrapped with pickle sauce shook up and down in between a |
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donkey's legs until he can't it stand anymore! All this and more, |
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Howie! Including! an electric coolde pony harness, with fuel |
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injection... fuel injection... fuel injection... |
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Oooh! my god, I ... I ... I can't stand it!... I mean... I mean, dou |
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you understand the implications of what I'm saying? I CAN'T STAND |
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IT!!! I CAN'T STAND IT !! I CAN'T STAND IT!! OH NO!!... Oh my god... |
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I'm going home! I'm gonna see my baby... (etc) I really can't stand |
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it... please... give it to me... give it to me right here in the |
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trunk of your Gremlin.. give me... GIVE ME THE ENCHILADA WITH THE |
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PICKLES SAUCE SHOVED UP BETWEEN A DONKEY'S ASS UNTIL HE CAN'T COME |
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ANYMORE!... |
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Hey-hey! haha! Not until you sing me your big hit record!... and I |
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want to hear the big hit record, and I wanna hear it now, an' I |
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wanna hear the big hit record now with a bullet! With a bullet! |
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The bullet? |
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The BULLET! The BULLET! I'ts the part that gets me the hottest... |
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hehe!.. now sing me that record, and I wanna hear it right now or |
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you ain't driving nowhere tonight, buddy... |
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AND SPREAD 'EM!... Here comes my... BULLET!! |
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(all sing Happy Together) |
