| [ti:3分钟看完谷阿莫] | |
| [ar:OEloop] | |
| [al:我是Rapper] | |
| [00:01.41] | 我是谷阿莫 |
| [00:02.52] | 不是谷哥 |
| [00:03.84] | 谷哥是Google |
| [00:05.51] | 科科 |
| [00:06.86] | 今天 我要说一个 |
| [00:10.05] | 属于自己的故事 |
| [00:11.87] | 从前有个男人叫做谷阿莫 |
| [00:13.95] | 他他他 从小立志成为一个魔法师 |
| [00:16.37] | 唷 |
| [00:17.19] | 然后这个温馨感人的故事 |
| [00:18.80] | 就 结束了 |
| [00:20.36] | 科科 |
| [00:21.23] | 不 故事才刚刚开始 |
| [00:23.66] | 有天 我上课时差点被车撞 |
| [00:26.08] | 此时 帅气的我 一个箭步上前 |
| [00:28.15] | 使用 如来神掌 把车打飞 |
| [00:30.22] | 结果 遭 |
| [00:31.23] | 智障精灵 智障人妖 智障矮人 智障巨龙 智障的嫉妒 |
| [00:34.32] | 但 回到家后 |
| [00:35.63] | 我发现老婆失踪了 |
| [00:37.05] | 所以 我决定 默哀 一！秒！钟！ |
| [00:39.32] | 时间到 |
| [00:40.08] | 我的心情就像 |
| [00:41.34] | 5分钟内吃了5个麦当劳双层牛肉起司堡一样受到强烈的痛苦 |
| [00:45.40] | 于是 我我我立志把个妹 |
| [00:47.26] | 首先 当然 就是先训练 顺便把个妹 |
| [00:50.00] | 接着 再训练 然后 再把妹 |
| [00:52.58] | 接着 休息 把妹 战场 把妹 回家 把妹 精神病院 把妹 |
| [00:56.17] | 把把妹 然后又去PK |
| [00:58.25] | 你以为 再把妹吗？ |
| [00:59.51] | 错 已经不用把妹了 |
| [01:01.23] | 因为 像我这样 |
| [01:02.19] | 鬼斧神工 巧夺天工 天造地设的男人 无人能挡 |
| [01:05.67] | 已经成为神了 成为神了 成为神了... |
| [01:15.43] | 超爽~的~谷阿莫~ |
| [01:22.50] | 超爽 超爽的 成为神了~~ |
| [01:27.84] | pia! |
| [01:28.44] | 超爽的 醒来才发现我只是30岁的魔法师 |
| [01:32.14] | 我差点就以为我能成为神了 |
| [01:34.06] | 不过没关系继续演下去 |
| [01:36.39] | 某天人类世界又TM得烂掉了 |
| [01:39.06] | 这时一个神秘的声音响起 |
| [01:41.29] | 少年 你这是神选之人 去 拯救世界吧 |
| [01:44.07] | 我就拿起一根需要被锤子认同才拿得动的锤子 |
| [01:47.36] | 一锤子砸下去 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈 |
| [01:49.78] | 大魔王就 TM被炸死了！ |
| [01:51.85] | 我是说他被炸死 |
| [01:53.07] | 不是他妈被炸死 |
| [01:54.03] | 如果想知道他妈的故事 |
| [01:55.55] | 可以去看 《50道伤痕》这本书 |
| [01:57.37] | 我随便说的 科科 |
| [01:58.67] | 虽然故事很想 从此过着幸福快乐的日子 |
| [02:01.60] | 但是谷先森 你的精子 长得很丑 |
| [02:03.99] | 卵子不太愿意 跟你结合 |
| [02:05.92] | 于是去聊天排队 坐着排队 走来走去排队 排排队 |
| [02:09.64] | 买到了这个超薄超油滑的让人类控制繁殖频率的油滑套子 |
| [02:14.00] | 如果你觉得很复杂的话 |
| [02:15.57] | 你只要记得 世界不可能灭亡 |
| [02:17.44] | 各种谷阿莫会拯救我们 |
| [02:19.21] | 09：那我呢？ |
| [02:20.22] | 我是我是我是谷阿莫 |
| [02:22.50] | 拯救世界的谷阿莫 |
| [02:25.12] | 努力搬家的谷阿莫 |
| [02:28.05] | 老子吃的饭比你吃的屎还多 |
| [02:30.64] | 拿剑插你的谷阿莫 |
| [02:33.06] | 一直受伤的谷阿莫 |
| [02:35.90] | 帅死很多人的谷阿莫 |
| [02:38.28] | 最爱科科的谷阿莫 |
| [02:42.48] | 如此感人肺腑的故事 |
| [02:43.79] | 一直在告诉我们一个很重要的道理 |
| [02:45.92] | 但道理是有个毛用啊 |
| [02:47.43] | 当然是有毛用的 |
| [02:48.60] | 因为不管谁赢 |
| [02:49.66] | 世界一定都会和平 |
| [02:51.03] | 科科虽然故事很想继续演下去 |
| [02:54.01] | 但你不用管 |
| [02:55.08] | 反正所有人又过着幸福快乐的日子了 |
| [02:57.96] | 最后恭喜你浪费了几百秒 |
| [02:59.88] | 不过UP主的青春逝去了几万分钟 |
| [03:03.37] | 科科 |
| ti: 3 fen zhong kan wan gu a mo | |
| ar: OEloop | |
| al: wo shi Rapper | |
| [00:01.41] | wo shi gu a mo |
| [00:02.52] | bu shi gu ge |
| [00:03.84] | gu ge shi Google |
| [00:05.51] | ke ke |
| [00:06.86] | jin tian wo yao shuo yi ge |
| [00:10.05] | shu yu zi ji de gu shi |
| [00:11.87] | cong qian you ge nan ren jiao zuo gu a mo |
| [00:13.95] | ta ta ta cong xiao li zhi cheng wei yi ge mo fa shi |
| [00:16.37] | yo |
| [00:17.19] | ran hou zhe ge wen xin gan ren de gu shi |
| [00:18.80] | jiu jie shu le |
| [00:20.36] | ke ke |
| [00:21.23] | bu gu shi cai gang gang kai shi |
| [00:23.66] | you tian wo shang ke shi cha dian bei che zhuang |
| [00:26.08] | ci shi shuai qi de wo yi ge jian bu shang qian |
| [00:28.15] | shi yong ru lai shen zhang ba che da fei |
| [00:30.22] | jie guo zao |
| [00:31.23] | zhi zhang jing ling zhi zhang ren yao zhi zhang ai ren zhi zhang ju long zhi zhang de ji du |
| [00:34.32] | dan hui dao jia hou |
| [00:35.63] | wo fa xian lao po shi zong le |
| [00:37.05] | suo yi wo jue ding mo ai yi! miao! zhong! |
| [00:39.32] | shi jian dao |
| [00:40.08] | wo de xin qing jiu xiang |
| [00:41.34] | 5 fen zhong nei chi le 5 ge mai dang lao shuang ceng niu rou qi si bao yi yang shou dao qiang lie de tong ku |
| [00:45.40] | yu shi wo wo wo li zhi ba ge mei |
| [00:47.26] | shou xian dang ran jiu shi xian xun lian shun bian ba ge mei |
| [00:50.00] | jie zhe zai xun lian ran hou zai ba mei |
| [00:52.58] | jie zhe xiu xi ba mei zhan chang ba mei hui jia ba mei jing shen bing yuan ba mei |
| [00:56.17] | ba ba mei ran hou you qu PK |
| [00:58.25] | ni yi wei zai ba mei ma? |
| [00:59.51] | cuo yi jing bu yong ba mei le |
| [01:01.23] | yin wei xiang wo zhe yang |
| [01:02.19] | gui fu shen gong qiao duo tian gong tian zao di she de nan ren wu ren neng dang |
| [01:05.67] | yi jing cheng wei shen le cheng wei shen le cheng wei shen le... |
| [01:15.43] | chao shuang de gu a mo |
| [01:22.50] | chao shuang chao shuang de cheng wei shen le |
| [01:27.84] | pia! |
| [01:28.44] | chao shuang de xing lai cai fa xian wo zhi shi 30 sui de mo fa shi |
| [01:32.14] | wo cha dian jiu yi wei wo neng cheng wei shen le |
| [01:34.06] | bu guo mei guan xi ji xu yan xia qu |
| [01:36.39] | mou tian ren lei shi jie you TM de lan diao le |
| [01:39.06] | zhe shi yi ge shen mi de sheng yin xiang qi |
| [01:41.29] | shao nian ni zhe shi shen xuan zhi ren qu zheng jiu shi jie ba |
| [01:44.07] | wo jiu na qi yi gen xu yao bei chui zi ren tong cai na de dong de chui zi |
| [01:47.36] | yi chui zi za xia qu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha |
| [01:49.78] | da mo wang jiu TM bei zha si le! |
| [01:51.85] | wo shi shuo ta bei zha si |
| [01:53.07] | bu shi ta ma bei zha si |
| [01:54.03] | ru guo xiang zhi dao ta ma de gu shi |
| [01:55.55] | ke yi qu kan 50 dao shang hen zhe ben shu |
| [01:57.37] | wo sui bian shuo de ke ke |
| [01:58.67] | sui ran gu shi hen xiang cong ci guo zhe xing fu kuai le de ri zi |
| [02:01.60] | dan shi gu xian sen ni de jing zi zhang de hen chou |
| [02:03.99] | luan zi bu tai yuan yi gen ni jie he |
| [02:05.92] | yu shi qu liao tian pai dui zuo zhe pai dui zou lai zou qu pai dui pai pai dui |
| [02:09.64] | mai dao le zhe ge chao bao chao you hua de rang ren lei kong zhi fan zhi pin lv de you hua tao zi |
| [02:14.00] | ru guo ni jue de hen fu za de hua |
| [02:15.57] | ni zhi yao ji de shi jie bu ke neng mie wang |
| [02:17.44] | ge zhong gu a mo hui zheng jiu wo men |
| [02:19.21] | 09: na wo ne? |
| [02:20.22] | wo shi wo shi wo shi gu a mo |
| [02:22.50] | zheng jiu shi jie de gu a mo |
| [02:25.12] | nu li ban jia de gu a mo |
| [02:28.05] | lao zi chi de fan bi ni chi de shi hai duo |
| [02:30.64] | na jian cha ni de gu a mo |
| [02:33.06] | yi zhi shou shang de gu a mo |
| [02:35.90] | shuai si hen duo ren de gu a mo |
| [02:38.28] | zui ai ke ke de gu a mo |
| [02:42.48] | ru ci gan ren fei fu de gu shi |
| [02:43.79] | yi zhi zai gao su wo men yi ge hen zhong yao de dao li |
| [02:45.92] | dan dao li shi you ge mao yong a |
| [02:47.43] | dang ran shi you mao yong de |
| [02:48.60] | yin wei bu guan shui ying |
| [02:49.66] | shi jie yi ding dou hui he ping |
| [02:51.03] | ke ke sui ran gu shi hen xiang ji xu yan xia qu |
| [02:54.01] | dan ni bu yong guan |
| [02:55.08] | fan zheng suo you ren you guo zhe xing fu kuai le de ri zi le |
| [02:57.96] | zui hou gong xi ni lang fei le ji bai miao |
| [02:59.88] | bu guo UP zhu de qing chun shi qu le ji wan fen zhong |
| [03:03.37] | ke ke |
| ti: 3 fēn zhōng kàn wán gǔ ā mò | |
| ar: OEloop | |
| al: wǒ shì Rapper | |
| [00:01.41] | wǒ shì gǔ ā mò |
| [00:02.52] | bú shì gǔ gē |
| [00:03.84] | gǔ gē shì Google |
| [00:05.51] | kē kē |
| [00:06.86] | jīn tiān wǒ yào shuō yí gè |
| [00:10.05] | shǔ yú zì jǐ de gù shì |
| [00:11.87] | cóng qián yǒu gè nán rén jiào zuò gǔ ā mò |
| [00:13.95] | tā tā tā cóng xiǎo lì zhì chéng wéi yí gè mó fǎ shī |
| [00:16.37] | yō |
| [00:17.19] | rán hòu zhè gè wēn xīn gǎn rén de gù shì |
| [00:18.80] | jiù jié shù le |
| [00:20.36] | kē kē |
| [00:21.23] | bù gù shì cái gāng gāng kāi shǐ |
| [00:23.66] | yǒu tiān wǒ shàng kè shí chà diǎn bèi chē zhuàng |
| [00:26.08] | cǐ shí shuài qì de wǒ yí gè jiàn bù shàng qián |
| [00:28.15] | shǐ yòng rú lái shén zhǎng bǎ chē dǎ fēi |
| [00:30.22] | jié guǒ zāo |
| [00:31.23] | zhì zhàng jīng líng zhì zhàng rén yāo zhì zhàng ǎi rén zhì zhàng jù lóng zhì zhàng de jí dù |
| [00:34.32] | dàn huí dào jiā hòu |
| [00:35.63] | wǒ fā xiàn lǎo pó shī zōng le |
| [00:37.05] | suǒ yǐ wǒ jué dìng mò āi yī! miǎo! zhōng! |
| [00:39.32] | shí jiān dào |
| [00:40.08] | wǒ de xīn qíng jiù xiàng |
| [00:41.34] | 5 fēn zhōng nèi chī le 5 gè mài dāng láo shuāng céng niú ròu qǐ sī bǎo yí yàng shòu dào qiáng liè de tòng kǔ |
| [00:45.40] | yú shì wǒ wǒ wǒ lì zhì bǎ gè mèi |
| [00:47.26] | shǒu xiān dāng rán jiù shì xiān xùn liàn shùn biàn bǎ gè mèi |
| [00:50.00] | jiē zhe zài xùn liàn rán hòu zài bǎ mèi |
| [00:52.58] | jiē zhe xiū xī bǎ mèi zhàn chǎng bǎ mèi huí jiā bǎ mèi jīng shén bìng yuàn bǎ mèi |
| [00:56.17] | bǎ bǎ mèi rán hòu yòu qù PK |
| [00:58.25] | nǐ yǐ wéi zài bǎ mèi ma? |
| [00:59.51] | cuò yǐ jīng bù yòng bǎ mèi le |
| [01:01.23] | yīn wèi xiàng wǒ zhè yàng |
| [01:02.19] | guǐ fǔ shén gōng qiǎo duó tiān gōng tiān zào dì shè de nán rén wú rén néng dǎng |
| [01:05.67] | yǐ jīng chéng wéi shén le chéng wéi shén le chéng wéi shén le... |
| [01:15.43] | chāo shuǎng de gǔ ā mò |
| [01:22.50] | chāo shuǎng chāo shuǎng de chéng wéi shén le |
| [01:27.84] | pia! |
| [01:28.44] | chāo shuǎng de xǐng lái cái fā xiàn wǒ zhǐ shì 30 suì de mó fǎ shī |
| [01:32.14] | wǒ chà diǎn jiù yǐ wéi wǒ néng chéng wéi shén le |
| [01:34.06] | bù guò méi guān xì jì xù yǎn xià qù |
| [01:36.39] | mǒu tiān rén lèi shì jiè yòu TM dé làn diào le |
| [01:39.06] | zhè shí yí gè shén mì de shēng yīn xiǎng qǐ |
| [01:41.29] | shào nián nǐ zhè shì shén xuǎn zhī rén qù zhěng jiù shì jiè ba |
| [01:44.07] | wǒ jiù ná qǐ yī gēn xū yào bèi chuí zi rèn tóng cái ná dé dòng de chuí zi |
| [01:47.36] | yī chuí zi zá xià qù hā hā hā hā hā hā hā hā |
| [01:49.78] | dà mó wáng jiù TM bèi zhà sǐ le! |
| [01:51.85] | wǒ shì shuō tā bèi zhà sǐ |
| [01:53.07] | bú shì tā mā bèi zhà sǐ |
| [01:54.03] | rú guǒ xiǎng zhī dào tā mā de gù shì |
| [01:55.55] | kě yǐ qù kàn 50 dào shāng hén zhè běn shū |
| [01:57.37] | wǒ suí biàn shuō de kē kē |
| [01:58.67] | suī rán gù shì hěn xiǎng cóng cǐ guò zhe xìng fú kuài lè de rì zi |
| [02:01.60] | dàn shì gǔ xiān sēn nǐ de jīng zǐ zhǎng de hěn chǒu |
| [02:03.99] | luǎn zǐ bù tài yuàn yì gēn nǐ jié hé |
| [02:05.92] | yú shì qù liáo tiān pái duì zuò zhe pái duì zǒu lái zǒu qù pái duì pái pái duì |
| [02:09.64] | mǎi dào le zhè gè chāo báo chāo yóu huá de ràng rén lèi kòng zhì fán zhí pín lǜ de yóu huá tào zǐ |
| [02:14.00] | rú guǒ nǐ jué de hěn fù zá de huà |
| [02:15.57] | nǐ zhǐ yào jì de shì jiè bù kě néng miè wáng |
| [02:17.44] | gè zhǒng gǔ ā mò huì zhěng jiù wǒ men |
| [02:19.21] | 09: nà wǒ ne? |
| [02:20.22] | wǒ shì wǒ shì wǒ shì gǔ ā mò |
| [02:22.50] | zhěng jiù shì jiè de gǔ ā mò |
| [02:25.12] | nǔ lì bān jiā de gǔ ā mò |
| [02:28.05] | lǎo zi chī de fàn bǐ nǐ chī de shǐ hái duō |
| [02:30.64] | ná jiàn chā nǐ de gǔ ā mò |
| [02:33.06] | yī zhí shòu shāng de gǔ ā mò |
| [02:35.90] | shuài sǐ hěn duō rén de gǔ ā mò |
| [02:38.28] | zuì ài kē kē de gǔ ā mò |
| [02:42.48] | rú cǐ gǎn rén fèi fǔ de gù shì |
| [02:43.79] | yī zhí zài gào sù wǒ men yí gè hěn zhòng yào de dào lǐ |
| [02:45.92] | dàn dào lǐ shì yǒu gè máo yòng a |
| [02:47.43] | dāng rán shì yǒu máo yòng de |
| [02:48.60] | yīn wèi bù guǎn shuí yíng |
| [02:49.66] | shì jiè yí dìng dōu huì hé píng |
| [02:51.03] | kē kē suī rán gù shì hěn xiǎng jì xù yǎn xià qù |
| [02:54.01] | dàn nǐ bù yòng guǎn |
| [02:55.08] | fǎn zhèng suǒ yǒu rén yòu guò zhe xìng fú kuài lè de rì zi le |
| [02:57.96] | zuì hòu gōng xǐ nǐ làng fèi le jǐ bǎi miǎo |
| [02:59.88] | bù guò UP zhǔ de qīng chūn shì qù le jǐ wàn fēn zhōng |
| [03:03.37] | kē kē |
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