| Leitch | |
| My father cut his toe off | |
| In a rotary lawn mower | |
| And my mother burst a blood vessel | |
| When my younger brother went to jail. | |
| So I told her not to worry | |
| Not to get in such a flurry | |
| We're just an ordinary family | |
| With the usual calamity. | |
| When I was just a virgin lad | |
| My mother faked a suicide | |
| Because she found the tell-tale sign | |
| Of puberty upon the sheets. | |
| So I told her not to worry | |
| Not to get in such a flurry | |
| We're just an ordinary family | |
| With the usual calamity. | |
| We always try to look our best | |
| We always take care when we dress | |
| We always wear clean underwear | |
| In case we're in an accident. | |
| When I become a married man | |
| With children of my very own | |
| Will I lay my inhibitions on | |
| And criticise their sexuality ? | |
| Will I use them to protect respect ? | |
| Will I try to own them flesh and bone ? | |
| Or will I be their equal friend ? | |
| Encouraging their new ideas ? | |
| For the future lies within their hands | |
| And the salvation of all these lands | |
| Yes, the ordinary family | |
| Is the only way to set us free. | |
| Set us free, set us free | |
| Set us free, set us free | |
| Set us free. |
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