jie xue shi shang

Song 解学士(上)
Artist 刘宝瑞
Album 刘宝瑞单口相声大全

Lyrics

[00:04.044] 天上一阵黑咕咚,
[00:06.250] 好似白面往下扔,
[00:09.017] 倒比耳子来得冲,
[00:11.602] 柳絮花飞一般同,
[00:14.400] 黑狗身上白,
[00:16.166] 白狗身上肿;
[00:18.355] 坟头倒比馒头大,
[00:20.716] 井是个大窟窿。
[00:23.595] 这是这个下雪诗一首,把这首诗说完了,现在我来说一段单口的相声,一个人说。
[00:36.053] 这段相声啊,这个笑话出什么年间呢?明朝的故事,在这个明朝朱洪武死了,太孙
[00:49.053] 继位,就是建文帝;这个事情呢,出在南京;南京啊有个水西门,在南京水西门大
[01:00.053] 街,有这么一个豆腐坊。豆腐坊掌柜的姓解,解佬叫解沛然,他是这个山东人,到
[01:14.053] 了这个南京开了个豆腐坊。老两口子,五十岁了没儿没女。这个豆腐坊呢是这个一
[01:24.053] 个小院,有三间北房,两间东房,一间西房。一个小院,在院子里啊,自己卖豆
[01:41.053] 腐,磨豆腐,都是两口子自己磨自己卖。有时候这老解还得挑着两个豆腐桶,下街
[01:50.053] 去卖去。五十岁没儿没女。
[01:55.325] 赶到五十一岁这年啊,老两口子病了,一个人病了还不要紧,俩人全病了,这个老
[02:05.325] 解啊,跟他老伴说:“我说老婆子,你看看,咱们没儿子不要紧呢,哪怕有个闺女还是
[02:18.325] 半子之劳呢,这个全木有哇,这可怎么办呢?这将来,唉,真是的,你说咱这全病
[02:30.325] 了,咱们怎么出去做买卖去呢?嗯,你能不能赌气的给我养一个。”那怎么赌气子
[02:40.268] 好,说过这话去呀,过些了日子,老两口子都好了。那么这好了之后呢,老解啊就
[02:52.268] 是盼儿子心盛。哎,你说也是可巧,这不是两口子盼儿子么,大奶奶身怀有孕,赶
[03:03.268] 到过年呐添了个大胖小子。嗬老解挺高兴,“哎这就行嘞,好了有了儿了就不愁闺
[03:13.268] 女。”老两口子把这孩子爱得有如掌上明珠一般。长来长去这孩子长到六岁,老解
[03:22.268] 啊,又烦了。为什么呢?六岁了这孩子不会说话,老解这个气呀:“你看看,没有儿子
[03:33.268] 别强求,好容易有了还是哑巴,倒霉呀。”见谁跟谁说这个话,这孩子呢,别看哑
[03:42.268] 巴,挺聪明,机灵极了,可是啊,一看人家写字啊就凑过去,一看人家念书啊他也
[03:50.268] 听。这功夫,别人就说:“老解,你这孩子不是哑巴。”
[04:03.251] “你怎么知道?”
[04:04.865] “怎么知道,我告给你十哑九聋,是哑巴他就聋子,你叫他他听不见,你们这孩子不
[04:14.865] 是,人一叫他他就过来,人家念书他就听着,那怎么会是哑巴呢。你怎么着吧,你
[04:24.865] 呀,买几本书把他送到上学,到学堂让他念书,看看他是哑巴不是。”
[04:32.443] 老解一听,“噢,这个学房铺里还治哑巴”。
[04:37.258] “啊,什么叫学房铺治哑巴呀。你买书吧。”
[04:42.277] “买什么书啊”
[04:43.796] “三字经百家姓千字文,你上街东罗老师那儿去,罗先生很有学问,你去吧。”
[04:54.161] 老解也知道罗老师在什么地方住,就赶紧地买了三本书,带着这孩子,
[04:59.161] “走,跟我上学”。
[05:03.461] 你送这孩子上学就光送这孩子得了,他不介,别耽误做买卖,挑着这两个豆腐桶,
[05:13.461] 一边吆喝一边找这罗老师去。
[05:19.069] “豆腐~”
[05:20.884] “豆腐~”
[05:23.585] 可是已然到了罗老师门口了,像那你要叫门就先叫门,要卖豆腐就先吆喝豆腐,
[05:29.585] 他不介,一块儿来。
[05:34.928] “豆腐~先生”
[05:37.401] “豆腐~先生”
[05:39.513] 先生一听,我怎么成了豆腐先生了?出来一看是老解。
[05:44.745] “哎,老解,我短你的豆腐钱哪?”
[05:49.263] “啊不短呢”
[05:50.972] “不短你这‘豆腐先生’像话吗”
[05:54.204] “老师您老不知道哎,我送俺这个小来念书来了”
[05:59.065] “哦,这是你的孩子?”
[06:01.630] “对了”
[06:03.256] “几岁了”
[06:04.282] “六岁”
[06:05.273] “哎~小孩长的挺机灵的。来来来,进来吧”
[06:10.362] 一个小白胖小子,挺好。老师也很高兴。那么老解也挑着挑子进来了。
[06:18.307] 赶到了屋里头,“老解,你这孩子六岁,叫什么名字?”
[06:26.231] “叫……他叫哑巴”
[06:30.203] “像话吗?人有起名叫哑巴的吗?”
[06:34.286] “你看他不会说话,那不是哑巴吗?”
[06:38.469] 先生一听你成心拿我开玩笑啊,“这孩子不会说话哑巴,你往这儿送,我怎么教啊”
[06:47.808] 呵,本来嘛。在明朝那时候还没有聋哑学校呢,老师一听很生气。
[06:53.875] “去去去,领走”
[06:56.546] “老师你不知道哎,我听别人说的,说你这个学房铺治哑巴”
[07:02.843] “嗨,你越说我越糊涂,这叫什么话啊。干脆我问问他吧。”
[07:08.933] “过来,”一点手这小孩过来了
[07:12.846] “你多大了?”
[07:15.361] 这孩子说了话了,“老师,我六岁了”
[07:22.398] 老解一听蹦起来了,“学房铺治哑巴,好了,这个小可真奇怪啊,
[07:30.398] 六岁不说话,怎么到了学堂他说话了。”
[07:35.064] 倒不是别的,因为呀,老解两口子把这孩子疼的什么似的,每天不知道说什么好,这孩子不爱听。一听人念书他就过去,在家里不愿意说话。
[07:44.064] 倒不是别的,因为呀,老解两口子把这孩子疼的什么似的,每天不知道说什么好,这孩子不爱听。一听人念书他就过去,在家里不愿意说话。
[07:51.064] 话呀,早就会说了,老解不知道。
[07:56.059] “谢谢您老师,我走了。”
[07:58.710] 先生说:“你先别走,你这孩子在我这念书你知道,我这每月是束修钱四吊。”
[08:09.201] 搁现在话说就是学费,“这小孩在我这儿念,四吊钱束修钱”
[08:16.442] “哎…我说先生,给您商量商量,咱是一个穷人呢,家里木钱呢”
[08:24.337] “没钱我就白教吗?”
[08:26.520] “也不能白教,反正怎么说呗。我必然有份‘人心’嘞,
[08:30.520] 你教孩子念一天书,我就给你送两块豆腐来。”
[08:37.944] 先生一听,合着我这教学都换了豆腐吃了。
[08:42.522] “啊,这像话吗,干脆我也不要你的豆腐。你这么吧,三节两寿啊,你要有‘力量’就来一趟,没‘力量’呢,你也甭往心里去。我把你这孩子给你教育成名。”
[08:42.522] “啊,这像话吗,干脆我也不要你的豆腐。你这么吧,三节两寿啊,你要有‘力量’就来一趟,没‘力量’呢,你也甭往心里去。我把你这孩子给你教育成名。”
[08:57.949] “好好那谢谢您老呗,反正三节两寿的没别的说的我必然有份‘人心’。”
[09:04.480] “哎,小你就老师这念书呗”
[09:08.587] 老解呢,挑着挑子走了。这先生就问这孩子,“你叫什么名字”
[09:17.410] “老师,我父亲刚才不跟您说了吗,他管我叫哑巴”
[09:23.536] “那多难听呀,别的名字呢”
[09:26.686] “没有”
[09:28.594] “对了。你爸爸也起不出什么名字来。哎呀,真可笑。我听说了,你们家里头连你这
[09:38.594] 辈子呀,七辈了,你要再没读过书哇就是你们家里七辈子没有一个念过书的人……
[09:48.594] 好,我给你起个名吧。现在我看你前途不可限量,将来能够一步上进,给你起名叫
[09:58.594] 解缙解鸿魁。”这小孩一听马上就给老师磕头,干嘛呀?谢谢老师赐名。
[10:05.336] 旁边的小学生啊,一听大伙儿都乐了。
[10:10.061] “老师,他姓解就别叫进了,他叫进那不是泄了劲吗?”
[10:18.276] “嗨。胡说!这是哪个jin呐”
[10:21.779] 老师就在解缙的书上给他写出来,就是晋朝的晋字加绞丝儿。解缙解鸿魁。
[10:33.289] “来吧,念书吧”
[10:35.351] 头一本念什么呢?小孩先念的是《百家姓》。
[10:41.098] “来,赵钱孙李,”
[10:44.408] 解缙就念“赵钱孙李,”
[10:47.604] “周吴郑王,”
[10:49.039] “周吴郑王,”
[10:50.665] “冯陈褚魏,”
[10:52.102] “冯陈褚魏,”
[10:53.876] “蒋沈韩杨,”
[10:55.046] “蒋沈韩杨,”
[10:56.501] “朱秦尤许,”
[10:57.756] “朱秦尤许,”
[10:59.064] “何吕施张,”
[11:00.185] “何吕施张。”
[11:01.517] “去念去吧”
[11:03.711] “老师,您给我上三趟,我不念。”
[11:08.870] 老师一听对,头一天上学,贪多嚼不烂,“好吧,那么给你上两趟吧。”
[11:16.681] “两趟我也不念。”
[11:20.436] “上一趟啊”
[11:21.923] “一趟我还不念。”
[11:24.450] “一趟都不念,那你就走吧。”
[11:28.425] “老师,我父亲让您给我教育成名,您为什么让我走呢?”
[11:34.264] “一趟才八个字,有上半趟书的吗?一天念一个字号啊。”
[11:40.173] “不是,老师,您给上的书太少了,多呀我就念了。”
[11:46.940] 啊?嘿!奇怪我教了这些年的书,还没有嫌上书上的少的呐。
[11:56.103] “那么好三趟少给你上四趟。”
[11:59.234] “我不念”
[12:00.616] “半片儿”
[12:01.896] “我不念”
[12:03.781] “那么给你上一篇儿呀”
[12:05.557] “一篇儿我也不念”
[12:07.980] “一篇儿你都不念!?那么依着你念多少?”
[12:12.396] “最少,一本儿。”
[12:14.914] “一本儿!这都新鲜事情,不是光念,一会还得背呐,背不下来我可打。”
[12:25.047] “您给我上一本儿,如果背不下来,老师责打,弟子绝无怨言。”
[12:31.703] “嘿!好!那好上一本儿”老师也生气了。
[12:35.735] “来念,赵钱孙李,”
[12:37.968] “赵钱孙李,”
[12:39.536] “周吴郑王,”
[12:40.844] “周吴郑王,”
[12:42.229] “冯陈褚魏,”
[12:43.696] “冯陈褚魏,”
[12:45.085] “蒋沈韩杨,”
[12:46.413] “蒋沈韩杨,”
[12:48.154] “司徒司空,”
[12:49.513] “司徒司空,”
[12:51.059] “百家姓终。”
[12:52.353] “百家姓终。”
[12:54.035] “一本儿,念去吧!”
[12:56.525] 那位说,怎么这么快呀?当然得快呀,不快,我在这念一本儿《百家姓》,我就甭
[12:59.525] 往下说书了。可不是吗?到百家姓终就完了。
[13:05.662] “去念去吧。”
[13:07.625] 这孩子拿着书本儿,到书桌那儿,往凳子上一坐。
[13:12.868] 像别人念书都有辙有韵,都得晃悠:
[13:18.774] 赵钱孙李,周吴郑王,冯陈褚魏,蒋沈韩杨。
[13:22.706] 脑袋得晃悠,为什么呢:这叫“忙其身,忘其累”。你要说脑袋也不晃悠,身子也不
[13:30.706] 动换,俩眼睛净看着书:赵钱孙李,周吴郑王,冯陈褚魏,zzz……睡着了。怎么,
[13:38.706] 趴到书桌子上了,老死盯着书也不行,他就得晃悠。
[13:42.860] 这孩子特别,把书本拿过来,他不念,一看赵钱孙李这赵字怎么写。书桌子上有墨
[13:52.860] 水壶,就是研墨用的凉水。他呀拿手指头蘸点水在桌子上写这个赵字,他也不知道
[14:00.860] 先下哪笔,就看着那个字写。赵,赵写完了又写钱,再写孙,再写李……
[14:13.743] 他这一不念,挨着他的小孩一看,“哎,你怎么不念呢?
[14:23.743] 你不念回头你背不下来,老师可打你啊。”
[14:27.079] 在那时候教书,没有别的办法,教私塾就讲究什么啊:念背打。
[14:35.079] 上学了念,念完了背,背不下来打。就会这个念背打。
[14:41.079] 那么那小孩就告诉他:你要背不下来老师打你。
[14:49.852] 解缙呢,连看都不看他,还蘸着墨水壶的凉水写。
[14:52.830] 他一个人看就完了,这个小孩又拽来一个,“师哥,你看这孩子刚来怎么不念书?
[15:02.830] 你看他哪儿干嘛呢” 这拽那个,那个拽那个……一会儿功夫,这书房八十多人
[15:12.830] 都不念书了,全看解缙,是书房里鸦雀无声。
[15:20.960] 老师正在那看《三国》呢,看着看着,一听没人念书,老师纳闷:我这是书房,怎
[15:30.960] 么变了冰窖了?一个说话的都没有,一看,好,小孩直眉瞪眼看解缙呢。解缙也不
[15:40.960] 知道在桌上画了什么呢。老师一看很生气,呵,这孩子啊,每天我这学生都好好念
[15:50.960] 书,今儿他一来全给带了坏了。老师也不理他们,心说:我这看书,把这段看完了
[15:54.960] 就让你们背书,背不下来啊,我是挨着个的打。
[16:01.886] 老师把这段《三国》看完了,这个时候就把墙上的板子摘下来了,
[16:09.886] 往书桌子上啪这么一放,“来啊,背书!”
[16:15.191] 这一说背书,小孩都一哆嗦,“哎背……背什么啊一句还没念那。”谁让你不念的。
[16:24.363] 老师不管那个,“你过来先背!”,指着这小孩,这小孩念什么啊?
[16:29.363] 《三字经》,是:人之初,性本善,性相近,习相远,苟不教,性乃迁。
[16:34.363] 教之道,贵以专。刚念会四趟。背啊,刚背下一趟来。怎么?那都没念呢。这孩子也
[16:44.363] 机灵,拿着这书本过来…
[16:52.163] 我小时候还念过私塾呢,拿着书本得冲圣人牌位一作揖,再冲老师一作揖。
[16:59.163] 把这书本搁在书桌子上,转过脸去,站在那背书。
[17:07.564] 这孩子呢拿着《三字经》,冲着圣人牌位一作揖,再冲老师一作揖,一转脸儿,转
[17:17.564] 过身去可是转过身去,应当他把这书本合上,他没有,他念了四趟就翻到这篇,搁
[17:27.564] 桌子上了。老师多咱听学生背书都闭着眼睛,为什么呢?你错一点,他就听出来
[17:37.564] 了。这孩子一想呢:你这闭着眼睛,我背不下来呢,我回头望月,偷着瞧就行了。
[17:48.299] 哪知道老师也机灵,老师一看这孩子鬼鬼祟祟的就过来了,
[17:52.299] 一看书本还这么翻着呐。
[17:56.923] 老师啪把这本书翻个了。这孩子还不知道呢。“人之初,性本善……”
[18:02.923] 下句忘了,他回头偷着瞧瞧,他不知道老师把这书本给翻过来了,回头
[18:12.923] 一瞧吓一跳,“人之初,性本善”,一回头,“翻过来,看不见,不能背,没有念。”
[18:23.706] 老师说你这都什么呀。老师这个气呀,“拿书本去,跪那儿念去。”
[18:31.148] 这孩子拿着书本往这一跪,“性相近,习相远,苟不教,性乃迁。我怎么刚才没背下
[18:41.148] 来呢?”废话,刚才你不是没念吗?这孩子没背下来,老师再叫第二个,“来!背!”
[18:49.148] 这个念《论语》子曰:“学而时习之”,子曰记着,学而记着,往下全忘。
[18:57.148] “子曰:‘学而……’”
[18:59.151] “子曰:‘学而……’”
[19:01.364] “子曰:‘学而……’”
[19:03.323] 老师说:“你爱听这句是怎么着?往下背,背下来好吃饭。”
[19:08.626] “子曰:‘学而要吃饭’”
[19:11.407] “学而要吃饭?好孩子,跪那念去。”
[19:16.249] ……
[19:19.086] 简短捷说,书房八十个小学生一个都没背下来。老师这气呀,每天小孩也不这样,
[19:29.086] 也不知怎么回事,让解缙给大伙泄了劲了全没背下来。最后该解缙背书,
[19:39.086] 老师心说:你要背不下来,看我怎么打你。
[19:44.739] “解缙,过来背书。”
[19:47.576] 解缙不慌不忙,拿着书本过来,冲着圣人牌位一作揖,冲着老师一作揖。
[19:57.576] 把书本自己就翻过去了,一转身,“赵钱孙李,周吴郑王,冯陈褚魏,蒋沈韩杨……
[20:01.576] 司徒司空,百家姓终。”背下来了。
[20:07.832] 老师一听,不对。“解缙,你要不说实话我一定要打你。你大概是在别的学堂念过
[20:17.832] 书,念过这百家姓,对不对?”
[20:21.965] “老师,我没念过,您没听我父亲说吗,我在您这才说话,在家里我还不会说话呢”
[20:31.195] “是真的吗?”
[20:32.718] 跪着那孩子搭茬了,“老师,我知道,他外号叫小雅巴”。
[20:38.424] 老师说:“谁问你呢。刚才你那书没背下来。”
[20:41.770] “我念呢。人之初,性本善……”好,他又念上了。
[20:46.609] 老师一想,“好好,都别念了,去去,放学了。回家吃饭去吧。吃完饭回来
[20:54.609] 不上生书了,温习熟书,再背不下来是挨着个的打。”
[20:59.775] 放学了,都回家吃饭。
[21:02.912] 走在街上,别的小孩就叫:“解缙,你没念你怎么会背下来了?你在那干嘛呢?”
[21:11.307] 解缙也不理他们,回家吃饭。吃完饭赶紧地就上学,他老是头一个到书房
[21:21.307] 老师很爱惜他。赶到下午呢,老师说:“来吧,念吧。都温习熟书吧,不上生书
[21:28.592] 解缙把这个《三字经》拿过来了,“他们没背下来呀,您不给他们上生书,
[21:38.592] 我背下来了,您应当给我上生书,来您给我上这《三字经》。”
[21:44.319] 老师说:“怎么着?早晨念的《百家姓》,下午念《三字经》,明儿念《千字文》、
[21:54.319] 《蒙训》诫,一天念两本。好了,俩月以后是你教给我还是我教给你啊?”
[21:59.582] “老师,您教给我”
[22:01.124] “我教你什么啊!没听说那么快的,我告诉你,贪多嚼不烂,你还得明白怎么讲呐”
[22:09.454] 老师一看这孩子念书很用心,就给这孩子讲,别的小孩没讲老师就给他讲。怎么叫
[22:19.454] 人之初,性本善……这一讲啊,别的小孩也愿意老师给讲,老师说:“你们先别讲
[22:29.454] 呢,你们等到一天能念一本书,我再给你们讲。听见没有?你们好好念吧。”
[22:41.645] “好好念,好好念也念不了一本。”
[22:46.146] 打这起,这老师天天对待解缙的功课是特别勤。
[22:53.932] 简短捷说吧,这孩子就在学房里念了顶一年,到了年底了,这孩子出口成章,没事
[22:53.932] 哎”。快到他们家门口了,有这么一个面铺,粮店。这粮店台阶上坐着两个和尚,
[23:03.932] 就爱作诗。他这作诗可这样,净惹祸。怎么净惹祸呀,有一天呐,他爸爸挑着豆腐
[23:13.932] 桶到这儿卖豆腐,正赶着放学。他爸爸就领着他:“走呗,咱爷俩一起回家吃饭呗。”
[23:37.311] 围着一大圈子人看这和尚。这俩和尚怎么回事啊?由二位公差押着,肩膀上扛着木
[23:47.311] 头枷,犯罪的人。解缙这么一瞧,嘿,我听老师说了:
[23:57.311] 出家人跳出三家外不在五行中。
[24:00.840] 怎么会犯了罪了?行了,我过去拿他们取取笑。
[24:06.692] 这孩子过来了。“二位大师傅,你们戴的这什么呀?”
[24:15.256] 和尚一听就不愿意,“这叫枷”
[24:19.834] “你们是不是犯了罪了?”
[24:21.777] “是啊!”
[24:23.806] “二位大师傅,我给你们做一首诗,你们看好玩吗?”
[24:29.387] 俩和尚一想:怎么着?这么小孩子会作诗?
[24:33.062] “好好,我们听听,你说吧。”
[24:37.523] 小孩用手一指,说:“师傅,你,出家又戴枷”
[24:46.928] 和尚一听,我是出家的和尚又戴枷,不错。“往下说”
[24:54.831] “落发又犯法”
[25:03.042] “两块无情木”
[25:06.189] “夹着大西瓜”
[25:09.380] 和尚说:“你是谁家的孩子?拿我们脑袋当西瓜了。嗬!这怎么回事情?!”
[25:16.228] 和尚这一嚷,二位公差直找,“这孩子谁谁带来的?”
[25:21.394] 老解在旁边,“那什么……这孩子没主”。没主你说什么劲?
[25:28.298] “会不快走哎,你看惹祸了,你胡说什么东西?”
[25:32.004] 把这孩子领回家了。
[25:34.854] “你刚才你怎么说的?”
[25:36.777] “我那是作诗”
[25:38.356] “做什么诗哎?打这你就别作诗了,作诗净惹祸可不行。”
[25:44.199] 没过两天这祸惹得更大了。放学回家啊,正赶上下大雨,瓢泼似的这么大。
[25:55.829] 这孩子就往家跑,还没到家呢,雨太大了。他看见曹“丞相”府大门洞有好些管家,
[26:05.829] 在看下雨,凉快呢。 这孩子想奔门洞这避避雨,这么一跑,上台阶没留神,“呲”,
[26:15.829] “bia”,滑倒了,摔了一身泥,一身水。这些个管家呢,宰相门前七品官,大伙一看
[26:25.829] 这孩子摔倒了,大伙一笑:“哈哈哈好哇。”这孩子一想:你们这是什么毛病?
[26:41.629] 我这么点小孩摔倒了,你们瞧着倒可笑,好了,骂你们两句。
[26:48.074] 这孩子过来了,“众位叔叔大爷,刚才你们笑什么呢?”
[26:55.311] 大伙一听他问来了,怎么说?笑你摔倒了?不像话。
[27:04.583] 想了一想,“那什么刚才我们笑你摔倒了没哭。”一琢磨这话也不像话,不哭干嘛笑
[27:15.535] 小孩儿一听,“噢,我摔倒了没哭你们笑了。
[27:22.535] 我给你们众位叔叔大爷,做一首诗,你们看好玩么?”
[27:26.182] 你这么大小孩会作诗?“好好,你做我们听听。”,“你说吧”
[27:33.028] “我说,春雨贵如油,”
[27:43.361] “下地满街流,”
[27:48.020] “栽倒我学生,”
[27:51.331] “笑坏一群牛。”
[27:53.729] “啊!我们成牛了!你怎么骂人呀?!什么叫笑坏一群牛?拿咱们当牛了”
[28:03.709] “这谁家的孩子?找他们家去。”
[28:07.076] 那个说:“我认识,这是豆腐坊解佬的儿子。”
[28:11.344] “走走走,找他们家去”
[28:12.885] 好,主人多大奴才多大,宰相门前七品官,这帮管家、底下人谁惹得起呀?
[28:21.666] 一窝峰似的,四五个就跟着这孩子到豆腐坊。
[28:26.983] “老解,管你们孩子不管!”
[28:29.589] 老解出来一看,“几位管家大人,俺这孩子怎么得罪你们了?”
[28:36.364] “怎么得罪了?他骂我们。他上门洞避雨,这倒没关系啊,他摔倒了,我们笑了,
[28:46.364] 我们笑这么点小孩摔倒了没哭。好,他上来,他骂人。”
[28:52.408] “他怎么骂来?”
[28:54.747] “他作诗”
[28:57.200] “你这孩子又作诗,又骂人了?”
[29:00.606] “爹爹我没骂人”
[29:03.575] “你没骂人,人家说你骂人了!?”
[29:07.074] “你怎么没骂人?你刚才做那首诗不是骂人吗?”
[29:12.730] “爹爹,我说那首诗,您听听是骂人不是?”
[29:18.938] “好。你说呗。”
[29:20.327] “我说:‘春雨贵如油,下地满街流。栽倒我学生,笑坏众朋友。’”
[29:32.676] “我就这么说的,怎么算骂人呢?”
[29:36.566] “对了。管家大人,他没骂呀。”
[29:39.905] “你这孩子真能说瞎话,你说栽倒你学生,笑坏一群牛。你怎么又说笑坏众朋友?”
[29:49.364] “对呀,你这孩子到底怎么说的?”
[29:52.499] “爹爹,我是说笑坏众朋友,我拿他们是当朋友。他们愿意当牛,那咱也没办法。”
[30:00.835] “我们怎么那么倒霉呀?嘿,你这孩子真坏透了啊。”

Pinyin

[00:04.044] tiān shàng yī zhèn hēi gū dōng,
[00:06.250] hǎo sì bái miàn wǎng xià rēng,
[00:09.017] dào bǐ ěr zǐ lái de chōng,
[00:11.602] liǔ xù huā fēi yì bān tóng,
[00:14.400] hēi gǒu shēn shàng bái,
[00:16.166] bái gǒu shēn shàng zhǒng
[00:18.355] fén tóu dào bǐ mán tou dà,
[00:20.716] jǐng shì gè dà kū lóng.
[00:23.595] zhè shì zhè gè xià xuě shī yī shǒu, bǎ zhè shǒu shī shuō wán le, xiàn zài wǒ lái shuō yī duàn dān kǒu de xiàng sheng, yí ge rén shuō.
[00:36.053] zhè duàn xiàng sheng a, zhè gè xiào huà chū shén me nián jiān ne? míng cháo de gù shì, zài zhè gè míng cháo zhū hóng wǔ sǐ le, tài sūn
[00:49.053] jì wèi, jiù shì jiàn wén dì zhè gè shì qíng ne, chū zài nán jīng nán jīng a yǒu gè shuǐ xī mén, zài nán jīng shuǐ xī mén dà
[01:00.053] jiē, yǒu zhè me yí gè dòu fǔ fāng. dòu fǔ fāng zhǎng guì de xìng jiě, jiě lǎo jiào jiě pèi rán, tā shì zhè gè shān dōng rén, dào
[01:14.053] le zhè gè nán jīng kāi le gè dòu fǔ fāng. lǎo liǎng kǒu zi, wǔ shí suì le méi ér méi nǚ. zhè gè dòu fǔ fāng ne shì zhè gè yī
[01:24.053] gè xiǎo yuàn, yǒu sān jiān běi fáng, liǎng jiān dōng fáng, yī jiān xī fáng. yí gè xiǎo yuàn, zài yuàn zi lǐ a, zì jǐ mài dòu
[01:41.053] fǔ, mó dòu fǔ, dōu shì liǎng kǒu zi zì jǐ mó zì jǐ mài. yǒu shí hou zhè lǎo jiě hái dé tiāo zhe liǎng gè dòu fǔ tǒng, xià jiē
[01:50.053] qù mài qù. wǔ shí suì méi ér méi nǚ.
[01:55.325] gǎn dào wǔ shí yī suì zhè nián a, lǎo liǎng kǒu zi bìng le, yí ge rén bìng le hái bú yào jǐn, liǎ rén quán bìng le, zhè gè lǎo
[02:05.325] jiě a, gēn tā lǎo bàn shuō:" wǒ shuō lǎo pó zǐ, nǐ kàn kàn, zán men méi ér zi bú yào jǐn ne, nǎ pà yǒu gè guī nǚ hái shì
[02:18.325] bàn zǐ zhī láo ne, zhè gè quán mù yǒu wa, zhè kě zěn me bàn ne? zhè jiāng lái, āi, zhēn shi de, nǐ shuō zán zhè quán bìng
[02:30.325] le, zán men zěn me chū qù zuò mǎi mài qù ne? , nǐ néng bù néng dǔ qì de gěi wǒ yǎng yí gè." nà zěn me dǔ qì zi
[02:40.268] hǎo, shuō guò zhè huà qù ya, guò xiē le rì zi, lǎo liǎng kǒu zǐ dōu hǎo le. nà me zhè hǎo le zhī hòu ne, lǎo jiě a jiù
[02:52.268] shì pàn ér zi xīn shèng. āi, nǐ shuō yě shì kě qiǎo, zhè bú shì liǎng kǒu zi pàn ér zǐ mǒ, dà nǎi nǎi shēn huái yǒu yùn, gǎn
[03:03.268] dào guò nián nà tiān le gè dà pàng xiǎo zi. hē lǎo jiě tǐng gāo xìng," āi zhè jiù xíng lei, hǎo le yǒu le ér le jiù bù chóu guī
[03:13.268] nǚ." lǎo liǎng kǒu zi bǎ zhè hái zi ài dé yǒu rú zhǎng shàng míng zhū yì bān. zhǎng lái zhǎng qù zhè hái zǐ cháng dào liù suì, lǎo jiě
[03:22.268] a, yòu fán le. wèi shí me ne? liù suì le zhè hái zi bú huì shuō huà, lǎo jiě zhè gè qì ya:" nǐ kàn kàn, méi yǒu ér zi
[03:33.268] bié qiǎng qiú, hǎo róng yì yǒu le hái shì yǎ bā, dǎo méi ya." jiàn shuí gēn shuí shuō zhè gè huà, zhè hái zi ne, bié kàn yǎ
[03:42.268] bā, tǐng cōng míng, jī líng jí le, kě shì a, yī kàn rén jiā xiě zì a jiù còu guò qù, yī kàn rén jiā niàn shū a tā yě
[03:50.268] tīng. zhè gōng fū, bié rén jiù shuō:" lǎo jiě, nǐ zhè hái zi bú shì yǎ bā."
[04:03.251] " nǐ zěn me zhī dào?"
[04:04.865] " zěn me zhī dào, wǒ gào gěi nǐ shí yǎ jiǔ lóng, shì yǎ bā tā jiù lóng zi, nǐ jiào tā tā tīng bu jiàn, nǐ men zhè hái zi bù
[04:14.865] shì, rén yī jiào tā tā jiù guò lái, rén jiā niàn shū tā jiù tīng zhe, nà zěn me huì shì yǎ bā ne. nǐ zěn me zhāo ba, nǐ
[04:24.865] ya, mǎi jǐ běn shū bǎ tā sòng dào shàng xué, dào xué táng ràng tā niàn shū, kàn kàn tā shì yǎ bā bú shì."
[04:32.443] lǎo jiě yī tīng," ō, zhè gè xué fáng pù lǐ hái zhì yǎ bā".
[04:37.258] " a, shén me jiào xué fáng pù zhì yǎ bā ya. nǐ mǎi shū ba."
[04:42.277] " mǎi shén me shū a"
[04:43.796] " sān zì jīng bǎi jiā xìng qiān zì wén, nǐ shàng jiē dōng luó lǎo shī nà ér qù, luó xiān shēng hěn yǒu xué wèn, nǐ qù ba."
[04:54.161] lǎo jiě yě zhī dào luó lǎo shī zài shén me dì fang zhù, jiù gǎn jǐn dì mǎi le sān běn shū, dài zhe zhè hái zi,
[04:59.161] " zǒu, gēn wǒ shàng xué".
[05:03.461] nǐ sòng zhè hái zi shàng xué jiù guāng sòng zhè hái zi dé le, tā bù jiè, bié dān wù zuò mǎi mài, tiāo zhe zhè liǎng gè dòu fǔ tǒng,
[05:13.461] yī biān yāo he yī biān zhǎo zhè luó lǎo shī qù.
[05:19.069] " dòu fǔ"
[05:20.884] " dòu fǔ"
[05:23.585] kě shì yǐ rán dào le luó lǎo shī mén kǒu le, xiàng nà nǐ yào jiào mén jiù xiān jiào mén, yào mài dòu fǔ jiù xiān yāo he dòu fǔ,
[05:29.585] tā bù jiè, yí kuài ér lái.
[05:34.928] " dòu fǔ xiān shēng"
[05:37.401] " dòu fǔ xiān shēng"
[05:39.513] xiān shēng yī tīng, wǒ zěn me chéng le dòu fǔ xiān shēng le? chū lái yī kàn shì lǎo jiě.
[05:44.745] " āi, lǎo jiě, wǒ duǎn nǐ de dòu fǔ qián nǎ?"
[05:49.263] " a bù duǎn ne"
[05:50.972] " bù duǎn nǐ zhè' dòu fǔ xiān shēng' xiàng huà ma"
[05:54.204] " lǎo shī nín lǎo bù zhī dào āi, wǒ sòng ǎn zhè gè xiǎo lái niàn shū lái le"
[05:59.065] " ó, zhè shì nǐ de hái zi?"
[06:01.630] " duì le"
[06:03.256] " jǐ suì le"
[06:04.282] " liù suì"
[06:05.273] " āi xiǎo hái zhǎng de tǐng jī líng de. lái lái lái, jìn lái ba"
[06:10.362] yí gè xiǎo bái pàng xiǎo zi, tǐng hǎo. lǎo shī yě hěn gāo xìng. nà me lǎo jiě yě tiāo zhe tiāo zi jìn lái le.
[06:18.307] gǎn dào le wū lǐ tou," lǎo jiě, nǐ zhè hái zi liù suì, jiào shén me míng zì?"
[06:26.231] " jiào tā jiào yǎ bā"
[06:30.203] " xiàng huà ma? rén yǒu qǐ míng jiào yǎ bā de ma?"
[06:34.286] " nǐ kàn tā bú huì shuō huà, nà bú shì yǎ bā ma?"
[06:38.469] xiān shēng yī tīng nǐ chéng xīn ná wǒ kāi wán xiào a," zhè hái zi bú huì shuō huà yǎ bā, nǐ wǎng zhè ér sòng, wǒ zěn me jiào a"
[06:47.808] ā, běn lái ma. zài míng cháo nà shí hou hái méi yǒu lóng yǎ xué xiào ne, lǎo shī yī tīng hěn shēng qì.
[06:53.875] " qù qù qù, lǐng zǒu"
[06:56.546] " lǎo shī nǐ bù zhī dào āi, wǒ tīng bié rén shuō de, shuō nǐ zhè gè xué fáng pù zhì yǎ bā"
[07:02.843] " hāi, nǐ yuè shuō wǒ yuè hú tú, zhè jiào shén me huà a. gān cuì wǒ wèn wèn tā ba."
[07:08.933] " guò lái," yì diǎn shǒu zhè xiǎo hái guò lái le
[07:12.846] " nǐ duō dà le?"
[07:15.361] zhè hái zi shuō le huà le," lǎo shī, wǒ liù suì le"
[07:22.398] lǎo jiě yī tīng bèng qǐ lái le," xué fáng pù zhì yǎ bā, hǎo le, zhè gè xiǎo kě zhēn qí guài a,
[07:30.398] liù suì bù shuō huà, zěn me dào le xué táng tā shuō huà le."
[07:35.064] dào bú shì bié de, yīn wèi ya, lǎo jiě liǎng kǒu zi bǎ zhè hái zi téng de shén me shì de, měi tiān bù zhī dào shuō shí mǒ hǎo, zhè hái zi bù ài tīng. yī tīng rén niàn shū tā jiù guò qù, zài jiā lǐ bù yuàn yì shuō huà.
[07:44.064] dào bú shì bié de, yīn wèi ya, lǎo jiě liǎng kǒu zi bǎ zhè hái zi téng de shén me shì de, měi tiān bù zhī dào shuō shí mǒ hǎo, zhè hái zi bù ài tīng. yī tīng rén niàn shū tā jiù guò qù, zài jiā lǐ bù yuàn yì shuō huà.
[07:51.064] huà ya, zǎo jiù huì shuō le, lǎo jiě bù zhī dào.
[07:56.059] " xiè xiè nín lǎo shī, wǒ zǒu le."
[07:58.710] xiān shēng shuō:" nǐ xiān bié zǒu, nǐ zhè hái zi zài wǒ zhè niàn shū nǐ zhī dào, wǒ zhè měi yuè shì shù xiū qián sì diào."
[08:09.201] gē xiàn zài huà shuō jiù shì xué fèi," zhè xiǎo hái zài wǒ zhè ér niàn, sì diào qián shù xiū qián"
[08:16.442] " āi wǒ shuō xiān shēng, gěi nín shāng liáng shāng liáng, zán shì yí gè qióng rén ne, jiā lǐ mù qián ne"
[08:24.337] " méi qián wǒ jiù bái jiào ma?"
[08:26.520] " yě bù néng bái jiào, fǎn zhèng zěn me shuō bei. wǒ bì rán yǒu fèn' rén xīn' lei,
[08:30.520] nǐ jiào hái zi niàn yì tiān shū, wǒ jiù gěi nǐ sòng liǎng kuài dòu fǔ lái."
[08:37.944] xiān shēng yī tīng, hé zhe wǒ zhè jiào xué dōu huàn le dòu fǔ chī le.
[08:42.522] " a, zhè xiàng huà ma, gān cuì wǒ yě bú yào nǐ de dòu fǔ. nǐ zhè me ba, sān jié liǎng shòu a, nǐ yào yǒu' lì liàng' jiù lái yī tàng, méi' lì liàng' ne, nǐ yě béng wǎng xīn li qù. wǒ bǎ nǐ zhè hái zi gěi nǐ jiào yù chéng míng."
[08:42.522] " a, zhè xiàng huà ma, gān cuì wǒ yě bú yào nǐ de dòu fǔ. nǐ zhè me ba, sān jié liǎng shòu a, nǐ yào yǒu' lì liàng' jiù lái yī tàng, méi' lì liàng' ne, nǐ yě béng wǎng xīn li qù. wǒ bǎ nǐ zhè hái zi gěi nǐ jiào yù chéng míng."
[08:57.949] " hǎo hǎo nà xiè xiè nín lǎo bei, fǎn zhèng sān jié liǎng shòu de méi bié de shuō de wǒ bì rán yǒu fèn' rén xīn'."
[09:04.480] " āi, xiǎo nǐ jiù lǎo shī zhè niàn shū bei"
[09:08.587] lǎo jiě ne, tiāo zhe tiāo zi zǒu le. zhè xiān shēng jiù wèn zhè hái zi," nǐ jiào shén me míng zì"
[09:17.410] " lǎo shī, wǒ fù qīn gāng cái bù gēn nín shuō le ma, tā guǎn wǒ jiào yǎ bā"
[09:23.536] " nà duō nàn tīng ya, bié de míng zì ne"
[09:26.686] " méi yǒu"
[09:28.594] " duì le. nǐ bà bà yě qǐ bù chū shén me míng zì lái. āi yā, zhēn kě xiào. wǒ tīng shuō le, nǐ men jiā lǐ tou lián nǐ zhè
[09:38.594] bèi zi ya, qī bèi le, nǐ yào zài méi dú guò shū wa jiù shì nǐ men jiā lǐ qī bèi zi méi yǒu yí gè niàn guò shū de rén
[09:48.594] hǎo, wǒ gěi nǐ qǐ gè míng ba. xiàn zài wǒ kàn nǐ qián tú bù kě xiàn liàng, jiāng lái néng gòu yī bù shàng jìn, gěi nǐ qǐ míng jiào
[09:58.594] jiě jìn jiě hóng kuí." zhè xiǎo hái yī tīng mǎ shàng jiù gěi lǎo shī kē tóu, gàn ma ya? xiè xiè lǎo shī cì míng.
[10:05.336] páng biān de xiǎo xué shēng a, yī tīng dà huǒ ér dōu lè le.
[10:10.061] " lǎo shī, tā xìng jiě jiù bié jiào jìn le, tā jiào jìn nà bú shì xiè le jìn ma?"
[10:18.276] " hāi. hú shuō! zhè shì něi gè jin nà"
[10:21.779] lǎo shī jiù zài jiě jìn de shū shàng gěi tā xiě chū lái, jiù shì jìn cháo de jìn zì jiā jiǎo sī ér. jiě jìn jiě hóng kuí.
[10:33.289] " lái ba, niàn shū ba"
[10:35.351] tóu yī běn niàn shén me ne? xiǎo hái xiān niàn de shì bǎi jiā xìng.
[10:41.098] " lái, zhào qián sūn lǐ,"
[10:44.408] jiě jìn jiù niàn" zhào qián sūn lǐ,"
[10:47.604] " zhōu wú zhèng wáng,"
[10:49.039] " zhōu wú zhèng wáng,"
[10:50.665] " féng chén chǔ wèi,"
[10:52.102] " féng chén chǔ wèi,"
[10:53.876] " jiǎng shěn hán yáng,"
[10:55.046] " jiǎng shěn hán yáng,"
[10:56.501] " zhū qín yóu xǔ,"
[10:57.756] " zhū qín yóu xǔ,"
[10:59.064] " hé lǚ shī zhāng,"
[11:00.185] " hé lǚ shī zhāng."
[11:01.517] " qù niàn qù ba"
[11:03.711] " lǎo shī, nín gěi wǒ shàng sān tàng, wǒ bù niàn."
[11:08.870] lǎo shī yī tīng duì, tóu yì tiān shàng xué, tān duō jué bù làn," hǎo ba, nà me gěi nǐ shàng liǎng tàng ba."
[11:16.681] " liǎng tàng wǒ yě bù niàn."
[11:20.436] " shàng yī tàng a"
[11:21.923] " yī tàng wǒ hái bù niàn."
[11:24.450] " yī tàng dōu bù niàn, nà nǐ jiù zǒu ba."
[11:28.425] " lǎo shī, wǒ fù qīn ràng nín gěi wǒ jiào yù chéng míng, nín wèi shí me ràng wǒ zǒu ne?"
[11:34.264] " yī tàng cái bā gè zì, yǒu shàng bàn tàng shū de ma? yì tiān niàn yí gè zì hào a."
[11:40.173] " bú shì, lǎo shī, nín gěi shàng de shū tài shǎo le, duō ya wǒ jiù niàn le."
[11:46.940] a? hēi! qí guài wǒ jiào le zhèi xiē nián de shū, hái méi yǒu xián shàng shū shàng de shǎo de nà.
[11:56.103] " nà me hǎo sān tàng shǎo gěi nǐ shàng sì tàng."
[11:59.234] " wǒ bù niàn"
[12:00.616] " bàn piān er"
[12:01.896] " wǒ bù niàn"
[12:03.781] " nà me gěi nǐ shàng yī piān ér ya"
[12:05.557] " yī piān ér wǒ yě bù niàn"
[12:07.980] " yī piān ér nǐ dōu bù niàn!? nà me yī zhe nǐ niàn duō shǎo?"
[12:12.396] " zuì shǎo, yī běn ér."
[12:14.914] " yī běn ér! zhè dōu xīn xiān shì qíng, bú shì guāng niàn, yī huì hái dé bèi nà, bèi bù xià lái wǒ kě dǎ."
[12:25.047] " nín gěi wǒ shàng yī běn ér, rú guǒ bèi bù xià lái, lǎo shī zé dǎ, dì zǐ jué wú yuàn yán."
[12:31.703] " hēi! hǎo! nà hǎo shàng yī běn ér" lǎo shī yě shēng qì le.
[12:35.735] " lái niàn, zhào qián sūn lǐ,"
[12:37.968] " zhào qián sūn lǐ,"
[12:39.536] " zhōu wú zhèng wáng,"
[12:40.844] " zhōu wú zhèng wáng,"
[12:42.229] " féng chén chǔ wèi,"
[12:43.696] " féng chén chǔ wèi,"
[12:45.085] " jiǎng shěn hán yáng,"
[12:46.413] " jiǎng shěn hán yáng,"
[12:48.154] " sī tú sī kōng,"
[12:49.513] " sī tú sī kōng,"
[12:51.059] " bǎi jiā xìng zhōng."
[12:52.353] " bǎi jiā xìng zhōng."
[12:54.035] " yī běn ér, niàn qù ba!"
[12:56.525] nà wèi shuō, zěn me zhè me kuài ya? dāng rán dé kuài ya, bù kuài, wǒ zài zhè niàn yī běn ér bǎi jiā xìng, wǒ jiù béng
[12:59.525] wǎng xià shuō shū le. kě bú shì ma? dào bǎi jiā xìng zhōng jiù wán le.
[13:05.662] " qù niàn qù ba."
[13:07.625] zhè hái zi ná zhe shū běn ér, dào shū zhuō nà ér, wǎng dèng zǐ shàng yī zuò.
[13:12.868] xiàng bié rén niàn shū dōu yǒu zhé yǒu yùn, dōu dé huàng yōu:
[13:18.774] zhào qián sūn lǐ, zhōu wú zhèng wáng, féng chén chǔ wèi, jiǎng shěn hán yáng.
[13:22.706] nǎo dài dé huàng yōu, wèi shí me ne: zhè jiào" máng qí shēn, wàng qí lèi". nǐ yào shuō nǎo dài yě bù huàng yōu, shēn zi yě bù
[13:30.706] dòng huàn, liǎ yǎn jīng jìng kàn zhe shū: zhào qián sūn lǐ, zhōu wú zhèng wáng, féng chén chǔ wèi, zzz shuì zháo le. zěn me,
[13:38.706] pā dào shū zhuō zi shàng le, lǎo sǐ dīng zhe shū yě bù xíng, tā jiù dé huàng yōu.
[13:42.860] zhè hái zi tè bié, bǎ shū běn ná guò lái, tā bù niàn, yī kàn zhào qián sūn lǐ zhè zhào zì zěn me xiě. shū zhuō zi shàng yǒu mò
[13:52.860] shuǐ hú, jiù shì yán mò yòng de liáng shuǐ. tā ya ná shǒu zhí tou zhàn diǎn shuǐ zài zhuō zi shàng xiě zhè gè zhào zì, tā yě bù zhī dào
[14:00.860] xiān xià nǎ bǐ, jiù kàn zhe nà gè zì xiě. zhào, zhào xiě wán le yòu xiě qián, zài xiě sūn, zài xiě lǐ
[14:13.743] tā zhè yī bù niàn, āi zhe tā de xiǎo hái yī kàn," āi, nǐ zěn me bù niàn ne?
[14:23.743] nǐ bù niàn huí tóu nǐ bèi bù xià lái, lǎo shī kě dǎ nǐ a."
[14:27.079] zài nà shí hou jiāo shū, méi yǒu bié de bàn fǎ, jiào sī shú jiù jiǎng jiū shén me a: niàn bèi dǎ.
[14:35.079] shàng xué le niàn, niàn wán le bèi, bèi bù xià lái dǎ. jiù huì zhè gè niàn bèi dǎ.
[14:41.079] nà me nà xiǎo hái jiù gào sù tā: nǐ yào bèi bù xià lái lǎo shī dǎ nǐ.
[14:49.852] jiě jìn ne, lián kàn dōu bù kàn tā, hái zhàn zhuó mò shuǐ hú de liáng shuǐ xiě.
[14:52.830] tā yí ge rén kàn jiù wán le, zhè gè xiǎo hái yòu zhuāi lái yí gè," shī gē, nǐ kàn zhè hái zi gāng lái zěn me bù niàn shū?
[15:02.830] nǐ kàn tā nǎ ér gàn ma ne"  zhè zhuāi nà gè, nà gè zhuāi nà gè yī huì ér gōng fū, zhè shū fáng bā shí duō rén
[15:12.830] dōu bù niàn shū le, quán kàn jiě jìn, shì shū fáng lǐ yā què wú shēng.
[15:20.960] lǎo shī zhèng zài nà kàn sān guó ne, kàn zhe kàn zhe, yī tīng méi rén niàn shū, lǎo shī nà mèn: wǒ zhè shì shū fáng, zěn
[15:30.960] me biàn le bīng jiào le? yí gè shuō huà de dōu méi yǒu, yī kàn, hǎo, xiǎo hái zhí méi dèng yǎn kàn jiě jìn ne. jiě jìn yě bù
[15:40.960] zhī dào zài zhuō shàng huà le shén me ne. lǎo shī yī kàn hěn shēng qì, ā, zhè hái zi a, měi tiān wǒ zhè xué shēng dōu hǎo hǎo niàn
[15:50.960] shū, jīn ér tā yī lái quán gěi dài le huài le. lǎo shī yě bù lǐ tā men, xīn shuō: wǒ zhè kàn shū, bǎ zhè duàn kàn wán le
[15:54.960] jiù ràng nǐ men bèi shū, bèi bù xià lái a, wǒ shì āi zhe gè de dǎ.
[16:01.886] lǎo shī bǎ zhè duàn sān guó kàn wán le, zhè gè shí hòu jiù bǎ qiáng shàng de bǎn zi zhāi xià lái le,
[16:09.886] wǎng shū zhuō zi shàng pā zhè me yī fàng," lái a, bèi shū!"
[16:15.191] zhè yī shuō bèi shū, xiǎo hái dōu yī duō suo," āi bèi bèi shén me a yī jù hái méi niàn nà." shuí ràng nǐ bù niàn de.
[16:24.363] lǎo shī bù guǎn nà gè," nǐ guò lái xiān bèi!", zhǐ zhe zhè xiǎo hái, zhè xiǎo hái niàn shén me a?
[16:29.363] sān zì jīng, shì: rén zhī chū, xìng běn shàn, xìng xiāng jìn, xí xiāng yuǎn, gǒu bù jiào, xìng nǎi qiān.
[16:34.363] jiào zhī dào, guì yǐ zhuān. gāng niàn huì sì tàng. bèi a, gāng bèi xià yī tàng lái. zěn me? nà dōu méi niàn ne. zhè hái zi yě
[16:44.363] jī líng, ná zhe zhè shū běn guò lái
[16:52.163] wǒ xiǎo shí hòu hái niàn guò sī shú ne, ná zhe shū běn dé chōng shèng rén pái wèi yī zuō yī, zài chōng lǎo shī yī zuō yī.
[16:59.163] bǎ zhè shū běn gē zài shū zhuō zi shàng, zhuǎn guò liǎn qù, zhàn zài nà bèi shū.
[17:07.564] zhè hái zi ne ná zhe sān zì jīng, chōng zhe shèng rén pái wèi yī zuō yī, zài chōng lǎo shī yī zuō yī, yī zhuǎn liǎn ér, zhuǎn
[17:17.564] guò shēn qù kě shì zhuǎn guò shēn qù, yīng dāng tā bǎ zhè shū běn hé shàng, tā méi yǒu, tā niàn le sì tàng jiù fān dào zhè piān, gē
[17:27.564] zhuō zi shàng le. lǎo shī duō zá tīng xué shēng bèi shū dōu bì zhuó yǎn jīng, wèi shí me ne? nǐ cuò yì diǎn, tā jiù tīng chū lái
[17:37.564] le. zhè hái zi yī xiǎng ne: nǐ zhè bì zhuó yǎn jīng, wǒ bèi bù xià lái ne, wǒ huí tóu wàng yuè, tōu zhe qiáo jiù xíng le.
[17:48.299] nǎ zhī dào lǎo shī yě jī líng, lǎo shī yī kàn zhè hái zi guǐ guǐ suì suì de jiù guò lái le,
[17:52.299] yī kàn shū běn hái zhè me fān zhe nà.
[17:56.923] lǎo shī pā bǎ zhè běn shū fān gè le. zhè hái zi hái bù zhī dào ne." rén zhī chū, xìng běn shàn"
[18:02.923] xià jù wàng le, tā huí tóu tōu zhe qiáo qiáo, tā bù zhī dào lǎo shī bǎ zhè shū běn gěi fān guò lái le, huí tóu
[18:12.923] yī qiáo xià yī tiào," rén zhī chū, xìng běn shàn", yī huí tóu," fān guò lái, kàn bú jiàn, bù néng bèi, méi yǒu niàn."
[18:23.706] lǎo shī shuō nǐ zhè dōu shén me ya. lǎo shī zhè gè qì ya," ná shū běn qù, guì nà ér niàn qù."
[18:31.148] zhè hái zi ná zhe shū běn wǎng zhè yī guì," xìng xiāng jìn, xí xiāng yuǎn, gǒu bù jiào, xìng nǎi qiān. wǒ zěn me gāng cái méi bèi xià
[18:41.148] lái ne?" fèi huà, gāng cái nǐ bú shì méi niàn ma? zhè hái zi méi bèi xià lái, lǎo shī zài jiào dì èr gè," lái! bèi!"
[18:49.148] zhè gè niàn lún yǔ zǐ yuē:" xué ér shí xí zhī", zǐ yuē jì zhe, xué ér jì zhe, wǎng xià quán wàng.
[18:57.148] " zǐ yuē:' xué ér'"
[18:59.151] " zǐ yuē:' xué ér'"
[19:01.364] " zǐ yuē:' xué ér'"
[19:03.323] lǎo shī shuō:" nǐ ài tīng zhè jù shì zěn me zhāo? wǎng xià bèi, bèi xià lái hǎo chī fàn."
[19:08.626] " zǐ yuē:' xué ér yào chī fàn'"
[19:11.407] " xué ér yào chī fàn? hǎo hái zi, guì nà niàn qù."
[19:16.249]
[19:19.086] jiǎn duǎn jié shuō, shū fáng bā shí gè xiǎo xué shēng yí gè dōu méi bèi xià lái. lǎo shī zhè qì ya, měi tiān xiǎo hái yě bù zhè yàng,
[19:29.086] yě bù zhī zěn me huí shì, ràng jiě jìn gěi dà huǒ xiè le jìn le quán méi bèi xià lái. zuì hòu gāi jiě jìn bèi shū,
[19:39.086] lǎo shī xīn shuō: nǐ yào bèi bù xià lái, kàn wǒ zěn me dǎ nǐ.
[19:44.739] " jiě jìn, guò lái bèi shū."
[19:47.576] jiě jìn bù huāng bù máng, ná zhe shū běn guò lái, chōng zhe shèng rén pái wèi yī zuō yī, chōng zhe lǎo shī yī zuō yī.
[19:57.576] bǎ shū běn zì jǐ jiù fān guò qù le, yī zhuǎn shēn," zhào qián sūn lǐ, zhōu wú zhèng wáng, féng chén chǔ wèi, jiǎng shěn hán yáng
[20:01.576] sī tú sī kōng, bǎi jiā xìng zhōng." bèi xià lái le.
[20:07.832] lǎo shī yī tīng, bú duì." jiě jìn, nǐ yào bù shuō shí huà wǒ yí dìng yào dǎ nǐ. nǐ dà gài shì zài bié de xué táng niàn guò
[20:17.832] shū, niàn guò zhè bǎi jiā xìng, duì bú duì?"
[20:21.965] " lǎo shī, wǒ méi niàn guò, nín méi tīng wǒ fù qīn shuō ma, wǒ zài nín zhè cái shuō huà, zài jiā lǐ wǒ hái bú huì shuō huà ne"
[20:31.195] " shì zhēn de ma?"
[20:32.718] guì zhe nà hái zi dā chá le," lǎo shī, wǒ zhī dào, tā wài háo jiào xiǎo yǎ bā".
[20:38.424] lǎo shī shuō:" shuí wèn nǐ ne. gāng cái nǐ nà shū méi bèi xià lái."
[20:41.770] " wǒ niàn ne. rén zhī chū, xìng běn shàn" hǎo, tā yòu niàn shàng le.
[20:46.609] lǎo shī yī xiǎng," hǎo hǎo, dōu bié niàn le, qù qù, fàng xué le. huí jiā chī fàn qù ba. chī wán fàn huí lái
[20:54.609] bù shàng shēng shū le, wēn xí shú shū, zài bèi bù xià lái shì āi zhe gè de dǎ."
[20:59.775] fàng xué le, dōu huí jiā chī fàn.
[21:02.912] zǒu zài jiē shàng, bié de xiǎo hái jiù jiào:" jiě jìn, nǐ méi niàn nǐ zěn me huì bèi xià lái le? nǐ zài nà gàn ma ne?"
[21:11.307] jiě jìn yě bù lǐ tā men, huí jiā chī fàn. chī wán fàn gǎn jǐn dì jiù shàng xué, tā lǎo shì tóu yí gè dào shū fáng
[21:21.307] lǎo shī hěn ài xī tā. gǎn dào xià wǔ ne, lǎo shī shuō:" lái ba, niàn ba. dōu wēn xí shú shū ba, bù shàng shēng shū
[21:28.592] jiě jìn bǎ zhè gè sān zì jīng ná guò lái le," tā men méi bèi xià lái ya, nín bù gěi tā men shàng shēng shū,
[21:38.592] wǒ bèi xià lái le, nín yīng dāng gěi wǒ shàng shēng shū, lái nín gěi wǒ shàng zhè sān zì jīng."
[21:44.319] lǎo shī shuō:" zěn me zhāo? zǎo chén niàn de bǎi jiā xìng, xià wǔ niàn sān zì jīng, míng ér niàn qiān zì wén
[21:54.319] méng xùn jiè, yì tiān niàn liǎng běn. hǎo le, liǎ yuè yǐ hòu shì nǐ jiāo gěi wǒ hái shì wǒ jiāo gěi nǐ a?"
[21:59.582] " lǎo shī, nín jiāo gěi wǒ"
[22:01.124] " wǒ jiào nǐ shén me a! méi tīng shuō nà me kuài de, wǒ gào sù nǐ, tān duō jué bù làn, nǐ hái dé míng bái zěn me jiǎng nà"
[22:09.454] lǎo shī yī kàn zhè hái zi niàn shū hěn yòng xīn, jiù gěi zhè hái zi jiǎng, bié de xiǎo hái méi jiǎng lǎo shī jiù gěi tā jiǎng. zěn me jiào
[22:19.454] rén zhī chū, xìng běn shàn zhè yī jiǎng a, bié de xiǎo hái yě yuàn yì lǎo shī gěi jiǎng, lǎo shī shuō:" nǐ men xiān bié jiǎng
[22:29.454] ne, nǐ men děng dào yì tiān néng niàn yī běn shū, wǒ zài gěi nǐ men jiǎng. tīng jiàn méi yǒu? nǐ men hǎo hǎo niàn ba."
[22:41.645] " hǎo hǎo niàn, hǎo hǎo niàn yě niàn bù liǎo yī běn."
[22:46.146] dǎ zhè qǐ, zhè lǎo shī tiān tiān duì dài jiě jìn de gōng kè shì tè bié qín.
[22:53.932] jiǎn duǎn jié shuō ba, zhè hái zi jiù zài xué fáng lǐ niàn le dǐng yī nián, dào le nián dǐ le, zhè hái zi chū kǒu chéng zhāng, méi shì
[22:53.932] āi". kuài dào tā men jiā mén kǒu le, yǒu zhè me yí gè miàn pù, liáng diàn. zhè liáng diàn tái jiē shàng zuò zhe liǎng gè hé shàng,
[23:03.932] jiù ài zuò shī. tā zhè zuò shī kě zhè yàng, jìng rě huò. zěn me jìng rě huò ya, yǒu yì tiān nà, tā bà bà tiāo zhe dòu fǔ
[23:13.932] tǒng dào zhè ér mài dòu fǔ, zhèng gǎn zhe fàng xué. tā bà bà jiù lǐng zhe tā:" zǒu bei, zán yé liǎ yì qǐ huí jiā chī fàn bei."
[23:37.311] wéi zhe yī dà quān zi rén kàn zhè hé shàng. zhè liǎ hé shàng zěn me huí shì a? yóu èr wèi gōng chāi yā zhe, jiān bǎng shàng káng zhe mù
[23:47.311] tóu jiā, fàn zuì de rén. jiě jìn zhè me yī qiáo, hēi, wǒ tīng lǎo shī shuō le:
[23:57.311] chū jiā rén tiào chū sān jiā wài bù zài wǔ xíng zhōng.
[24:00.840] zěn me huì fàn le zuì le? xíng le, wǒ guò qù ná tā men qǔ qǔ xiào.
[24:06.692] zhè hái zi guò lái le." èr wèi dà shī fū, nǐ men dài de zhè shén me ya?"
[24:15.256] hé shàng yī tīng jiù bù yuàn yì," zhè jiào jiā"
[24:19.834] " nǐ men shì bú shì fàn le zuì le?"
[24:21.777] " shì a!"
[24:23.806] " èr wèi dà shī fū, wǒ gěi nǐ men zuò yī shǒu shī, nǐ men kàn hǎo wán ma?"
[24:29.387] liǎ hé shàng yī xiǎng: zěn me zhāo? zhè me xiǎo hái zi huì zuò shī?
[24:33.062] " hǎo hǎo, wǒ men tīng tīng, nǐ shuō ba."
[24:37.523] xiǎo hái yòng shǒu yī zhǐ, shuō:" shī fū, nǐ, chū jiā yòu dài jiā"
[24:46.928] hé shàng yī tīng, wǒ shì chū jiā de hé shàng yòu dài jiā, bù cuò." wǎng xià shuō"
[24:54.831] " luò fà yòu fàn fǎ"
[25:03.042] " liǎng kuài wú qíng mù"
[25:06.189] " jiā zhe dà xī guā"
[25:09.380] hé shàng shuō:" nǐ shì shuí jiā de hái zi? ná wǒ men nǎo dài dāng xī guā le. hē! zhè zěn me huí shì qíng?!"
[25:16.228] hé shàng zhè yī rǎng, èr wèi gōng chāi zhí zhǎo," zhè hái zi shuí shuí dài lái de?"
[25:21.394] lǎo jiě zài páng biān," nà shén me zhè hái zi méi zhǔ". méi zhǔ nǐ shuō shí mǒ jìn?
[25:28.298] " huì bù kuài zǒu āi, nǐ kàn rě huò le, nǐ hú shuō shí mǒ dōng xī?"
[25:32.004] bǎ zhè hái zi lǐng huí jiā le.
[25:34.854] " nǐ gāng cái nǐ zěn me shuō de?"
[25:36.777] " wǒ nà shi zuò shī"
[25:38.356] " zuò shí mǒ shī āi? dǎ zhè nǐ jiù bié zuò shī le, zuò shī jìng rě huò kě bù xíng."
[25:44.199] méi guò liǎng tiān zhè huò rě dé gèng dà le. fàng xué huí jiā a, zhèng gǎn shàng xià dà yǔ, piáo pō shì de zhè me dà.
[25:55.829] zhè hái zi jiù wǎng jiā pǎo, hái méi dào jiā ne, yǔ tài dà le. tā kàn jiàn cáo" chéng xiàng" fǔ dà mén dòng yǒu hǎo xiē guǎn jiā,
[26:05.829] zài kàn xià yǔ, liáng kuài ne. zhè hái zi xiǎng bēn mén dòng zhè bì bì yǔ, zhè me yī pǎo, shàng tái jiē méi liú shén," cī",
[26:15.829] " bia", huá dǎo le, shuāi le yī shēn ní, yī shēn shuǐ. zhèi xiē gè guǎn jiā ne, zǎi xiàng mén qián qī pǐn guān, dà huǒ yī kàn
[26:25.829] zhè hái zi shuāi dǎo le, dà huǒ yī xiào:" hā hā hā hǎo wā." zhè hái zi yī xiǎng: nǐ men zhè shì shén me máo bìng?
[26:41.629] wǒ zhè me diǎn xiǎo hái shuāi dǎo le, nǐ men qiáo zhe dào kě xiào, hǎo le, mà nǐ men liǎng jù.
[26:48.074] zhè hái zi guò lái le," zhòng wèi shū shū dà yé, gāng cái nǐ men xiào shén me ne?"
[26:55.311] dà huǒ yī tīng tā wèn lái le, zěn me shuō? xiào nǐ shuāi dǎo le? bù xiàng huà.
[27:04.583] xiǎng le yī xiǎng," nà shén me gāng cái wǒ men xiào nǐ shuāi dǎo le méi kū." yī zuó mo zhè huà yě bù xiàng huà, bù kū gàn ma xiào
[27:15.535] xiǎo hái ér yī tīng," ō, wǒ shuāi dǎo le méi kū nǐ men xiào le.
[27:22.535] wǒ gěi nǐ men zhòng wèi shū shū dà yé, zuò yī shǒu shī, nǐ men kàn hǎo wán me?"
[27:26.182] nǐ zhè me dà xiǎo hái huì zuò shī?" hǎo hǎo, nǐ zuò wǒ men tīng tīng."," nǐ shuō ba"
[27:33.028] " wǒ shuō, chūn yǔ guì rú yóu,"
[27:43.361] " xià dì mǎn jiē liú,"
[27:48.020] " zāi dǎo wǒ xué shēng,"
[27:51.331] " xiào huài yī qún niú."
[27:53.729] " a! wǒ men chéng niú le! nǐ zěn me mà rén ya?! shén me jiào xiào huài yī qún niú? ná zán men dāng niú le"
[28:03.709] " zhè shuí jiā de hái zi? zhǎo tā men jiā qù."
[28:07.076] nà gè shuō:" wǒ rèn shi, zhè shì dòu fǔ fāng jiě lǎo de ér zi."
[28:11.344] " zǒu zǒu zǒu, zhǎo tā men jiā qù"
[28:12.885] hǎo, zhǔ rén duō dà nú cái duō dà, zǎi xiàng mén qián qī pǐn guān, zhè bāng guǎn jiā dǐ xià rén shuí rě dé qǐ ya?
[28:21.666] yī wō fēng shì de, sì wǔ gè jiù gēn zhe zhè hái zi dào dòu fǔ fāng.
[28:26.983] " lǎo jiě, guǎn nǐ men hái zi bù guǎn!"
[28:29.589] lǎo jiě chū lái yī kàn," jǐ wèi guǎn jiā dà rén, ǎn zhè hái zi zěn me dé zuì nǐ men le?"
[28:36.364] " zěn me dé zuì le? tā mà wǒ men. tā shàng mén dòng bì yǔ, zhè dào méi guān xì a, tā shuāi dǎo le, wǒ men xiào le,
[28:46.364] wǒ men xiào zhè me diǎn xiǎo hái shuāi dǎo le méi kū. hǎo, tā shàng lái, tā mà rén."
[28:52.408] " tā zěn me mà lái?"
[28:54.747] " tā zuò shī"
[28:57.200] " nǐ zhè hái zi yòu zuò shī, yòu mà rén le?"
[29:00.606] " diē diē wǒ méi mà rén"
[29:03.575] " nǐ méi mà rén, rén jiā shuō nǐ mà rén le!?"
[29:07.074] " nǐ zěn me méi mà rén? nǐ gāng cái zuò nà shǒu shī bú shì mà rén ma?"
[29:12.730] " diē diē, wǒ shuō nà shǒu shī, nín tīng tīng shì mà rén bú shì?"
[29:18.938] " hǎo. nǐ shuō bei."
[29:20.327] " wǒ shuō:' chūn yǔ guì rú yóu, xià dì mǎn jiē liú. zāi dǎo wǒ xué shēng, xiào huài zhòng péng yǒu.'"
[29:32.676] " wǒ jiù zhè me shuō de, zěn me suàn mà rén ne?"
[29:36.566] " duì le. guǎn jiā dà rén, tā méi mà ya."
[29:39.905] " nǐ zhè hái zǐ zhēn néng shuō xiā huà, nǐ shuō zāi dǎo nǐ xué shēng, xiào huài yī qún niú. nǐ zěn me yòu shuō xiào huài zhòng péng yǒu?"
[29:49.364] " duì ya, nǐ zhè hái zi dào dǐ zěn me shuō de?"
[29:52.499] " diē diē, wǒ shì shuō xiào huài zhòng péng yǒu, wǒ ná tā men shì dāng péng yǒu. tā men yuàn yì dāng niú, nà zán yě méi bàn fǎ."
[30:00.835] " wǒ men zěn me nà me dǎo méi ya? hēi, nǐ zhè hái zǐ zhēn huài tòu le a."