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[Intro] |
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Should I even hold on (x2) |
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[Verse 1] |
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Early morning, this ceiling's is too familiar |
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Smell the stench on my clothing |
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Messages from my love, and my stomach's touching my back |
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Wake up knowing I'm ******* broke, I can't even fix me a sandwich |
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But you can cut these records and dream of vision that trumps everything you seen through your eyes |
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My mother's waiting, my brother's feeling tired |
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A grown man, as I suffered through family ties |
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Sitting at home alone where everyone's working tryna survive |
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*******, you can see it in the way I'm frontin' |
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I clean the house everyday to feel like I'm doing something |
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Plus I contribute nothing |
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These bills pile, see my mother fake her smile |
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Hoping all this music *******t I'm doing now is worthwhile |
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I pray she's not embarrassed |
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Her compassion what I come to cherish |
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Man, I know I'm after something more |
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But these times make me question what's in store |
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[Hook] |
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Should I even hold on? |
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Should I even hold on? |
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The worlds telling me there's nothing here to see |
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Got me wondering if I should go on |
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Man, now should I even hold on? |
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Should I even hold on? |
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Road block after road block |
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Tell me how exactly am I supposed to go on |
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[Verse 2] |
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I stop myself so I don't get excited |
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These are usually the moments when you face is tyring |
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Hopes up, hopes up, watch 'em fall |
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You wonder why you should even believe at all |
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Caught between who I am |
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Caught between who I should be to this fickle land |
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Caught between who I want me to be |
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What my family wants me to see |
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What the fans and industry needs |
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I hate to think about it, but what if like |
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What if like I don't master my full potential |
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And I become lesser than my supposed credentials |
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A slave to "could've been" |
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Stuck in my oldest residential like |
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"I woulda did it, but, *******t just wasn't efficient," |
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I'm always thinking excessive |
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You feel the hunger |
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I'm desperate more than ever, the tone's becoming aggressive |
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My lord, it's not a question that I'm after something more |
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But these times make me wonder what's in store |
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[Hook] |
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[Verse 3] |
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I used to work as a janitor cleaning toilets |
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Took the bus like every morning to this office base |
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Sad to see the faces on these workers |
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One came to me looking nervous |
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Told me no matter what, "Always search for your purpose |
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Or you might just, end up like me |
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I'm 45 and drive a Bentley |
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Decent wife, but I hate the life that I chose" |
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Damn, made me stop and think to myself |
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All the *******t you come to accomplish has made you a living hell |
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I guess it ain't what it seem |
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A part of me should appreciate that I'm chasing a dream |
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But I'm a realist, and a part of me would rather be stable |
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Normal *******t, guess for me that wasn't placed on the table |
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Past decisions, everything was made to be instant |
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"I need it now, I need it now" |
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Nobody told me settle down and just focus your efforts |
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Mother and I were at odds, father was hot headed |
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*******t to him was Wizard of Oz |
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My ex was holding me back |
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Was too concerned with being married, I carried a sense of guilt to any damage even buried |
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I forced, myself to grow up |
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Take on responsibilities that were out of my league |
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Boxed in, I couldn't breathe |
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"Write raps, whatever G, you see this *******t that I'm going through?" |
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Stressing and tired, meanwhile I'm losing it all |
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Apar*******ent, the job, the car |
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Materialism, what kept me in prison |
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I guess I wasn't honestly living admit it |
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Back at my mama's like I never left |
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I'm crying tears tryna catch my breath |
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I been here too many times |
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I can't take it, I can't take it, first time I contemplated death |
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Peace to the dearly departed |
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You know it's real when you find yourself back when you started |
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My Lord |
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You knew that there was so much more in store |
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I guess it would be crazy to ignore |
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Maybe I should hold on |
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[Skit] |
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*Knock* |
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"Come in" |
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"I'm going to work |
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Make sure to take out the Pork Chops later today" |
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"Also clean up this house, it's filthy in here" |
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"And make sure you look for a job too if you get a chance |
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I'll be back around 5" |