My Own Eyes

Song My Own Eyes
Artist Weird Al Yankovic
Album Mandatory Fun

Lyrics

[00:00.57] I saw a baby drive a truck
[00:03.39] I saw a junkie eat a tuba
[00:06.58] I saw a stripper kiss a duck
[00:09.56] Behind a dumpster in Aruba
[00:13.10] I saw this fat, psychotic guy
[00:16.13] His underwear was made of crickets
[00:19.37] He pawned a skeleton to buy
[00:22.55] Some old expired lotto tickets
[00:25.74] I saw a naked vagrant giving
[00:28.47] Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to his cat
[00:32.16] I probably could have gone my whole life
[00:34.74] Without seeing that
[00:41.54] With my own eyes
[00:43.30] I see things that'd drive a normal man insane
[00:48.02] Wish I could disconnect my brain
[00:50.76] From my own eyes
[00:54.59] I saw a mime get hacked to death
[00:57.70] With an imaginary cleaver
[01:00.98] I saw an old man's final breath
[01:03.99] I watched him die from Bieber Fever
[01:07.39] I saw these diabetic chicks
[01:10.38] In an abandoned 7-Eleven
[01:13.61] I watched them snorting pixie sticks
[01:16.70] While they were belching Stairway To Heaven
[01:19.98] I saw two drag queens trying to see how many crackers
[01:23.66] They could shove up each other's nose
[01:26.45] I'd like to erase my mind completely but I suppose
[01:32.92] That's just the way it goes
[01:35.96] With my own eyes
[01:37.30] I see things that'd drive a normal man insane
[01:42.13] Wish I could disconnect my brain
[01:44.99] From my own eyes (my own eyes)
[01:48.33] Those visions haunt my memory
[01:51.75] Oh, there's so much I wish I could unsee
[01:56.68] With my own eyes
[02:09.33] Some priest got drunk and stole a circus zebra
[02:13.19] And he trained it to massage his back
[02:16.23] My guinea pig committed hara-kiri
[02:19.41] So we used him to play hacky-sack
[02:24.39] My neighbor's kids sold weapons grade plutonium
[02:27.52] And frosty ice-cold lemonade
[02:30.66] They took MasterCard and sometimes
[02:33.10] Human organs in trade, that's how we paid
[02:39.57] I have to say that it was really darn good lemonade
[02:46.13] With my own eyes
[02:47.75] I've seen thing that'd drive a normal man insane
[02:52.47] Wish I could disconnect my brain
[02:55.31] From my own eyes (my own eyes)
[02:58.58] Those visions haunt my memory
[03:01.88] Oh, there's so much I wish I could unsee
[03:10.14] With my own eyes x4