Song | Dreaming Or Sinking |
Artist | Hotel Books |
Album | I'm Almost Happy Here, But I Never Feel At Home |
[ti:Dreaming Or Sinking] | |
[ar:Hotel Books] | |
[al:] | |
[00:23.60] | I tried looking into her eyes to make sense of my own life, |
[00:27.04] | But found senseless realisations, I was reckless and she was justification; |
[00:31.52] | A vacation from the monotony I lived in. |
[00:34.40] | And avoiding risk felt nice until I realized, I was avoiding purpose. |
[00:39.28] | And it’s all new but I love her, |
[00:40.83] | At least I think because I don’t want to live so empty. |
[00:45.41] | And I have this tendency to complicate things better than I break things and she was somehow caught in the in between. |
[00:51.64] | And forever means forever and that’s what it will always mean. |
[00:54.53] | And life is a reality except for when it’s a dream. |
[00:57.46] | And those are the moments that I can’t seem to think, |
[01:00.10] | But I make sense of my mess by making sense of her and me. |
[01:03.43] | And this fear keeps me alive, |
[01:05.28] | This fear of knowing that she could leave me. |
[01:08.06] | And I could try. |
[01:10.00] | But this fear fuels the flames, |
[01:11.75] | That’s why I feel like I’m going to die. |
[01:14.23] | Cause she kept a part of me close by and I liked it the best I can. |
[01:18.61] | And now that I know who I used to be it’s hard to be happy with who I am. |
[01:22.35] | And that’s where she came in. |
[01:24.15] | A half-baked smile and a love to pretend, |
[01:26.54] | But prior to then, love was nothing more to me than a vacation, |
[01:30.27] | A vacant motivation, |
[01:31.07] | To avoid the means it takes to reach any real end. |
[01:34.65] | A sense of salvation, |
[01:36.29] | But also an element of bitter hope, |
[01:37.93] | To cope with the rope that was tied around my neck. |
[01:42.61] | And the saviour I hoped for was chased away, |
[01:45.00] | Way back then, |
[01:45.85] | When I found vices to take the place of all the things I wanted to be. |
[01:51.08] | And I lost sight of me, |
[01:52.72] | But I was told I could be anybody. |
[01:54.47] | And I thought I could find purpose in loving someone who looks like me |
[01:58.80] | And I began dreaming or sinking, |
[02:00.49] | Most nights they meant the same thing. |
[02:02.03] | And when that salvation finally found me, |
[02:04.93]] | It was traded away for thirty pieces of silver. |
[02:07.12] | Seems like that’s not too much I guess but I sold my saviour for a whole lot less. |
[02:10.95] | My two best friends, |
[02:12.64] | Acceptance and a mirage of fake happiness. |
[02:15.43] | And now the words I use to cling to as my refuge, |
[02:18.41] | Now torture me in my head. |
[02:20.05] | Forgive them father they know not what they do, |
[02:22.24] | It’s funny cause it seems like I did every time I lied to you. |
[02:26.32] | And that’s my only truth, |
[02:28.41] | That I can’t sleep at night |
[02:29.65] | And I can’t get these things right, |
[02:31.25] | And salvation escaped when she came into view. |
[02:34.13] | And now I’m hoping my whole life isn’t mistaken as you, |
[02:37.86] | But there’s no way of knowing, |
[02:39.71] | When all I’m doing is coping. |
[02:42.49] | With my own pride. |
[02:46.28] | And my past would fight with me hoping I would find truth, |
[02:49.52] | But it’s never a good idea to start a fight with a man who has nothing to lose, |
[02:55.24] | And I’m empty. |
[02:56.98] | My heart is caving in. |
[03:00.62] | And for whatever reason, |
[03:03.80] | I finally let somebody in. |
[03:07.44] | And I don’t know what love is. |
[03:09.43] | But I’m growing. |
ti: Dreaming Or Sinking | |
ar: Hotel Books | |
al: | |
[00:23.60] | I tried looking into her eyes to make sense of my own life, |
[00:27.04] | But found senseless realisations, I was reckless and she was justification |
[00:31.52] | A vacation from the monotony I lived in. |
[00:34.40] | And avoiding risk felt nice until I realized, I was avoiding purpose. |
[00:39.28] | And it' s all new but I love her, |
[00:40.83] | At least I think because I don' t want to live so empty. |
[00:45.41] | And I have this tendency to complicate things better than I break things and she was somehow caught in the in between. |
[00:51.64] | And forever means forever and that' s what it will always mean. |
[00:54.53] | And life is a reality except for when it' s a dream. |
[00:57.46] | And those are the moments that I can' t seem to think, |
[01:00.10] | But I make sense of my mess by making sense of her and me. |
[01:03.43] | And this fear keeps me alive, |
[01:05.28] | This fear of knowing that she could leave me. |
[01:08.06] | And I could try. |
[01:10.00] | But this fear fuels the flames, |
[01:11.75] | That' s why I feel like I' m going to die. |
[01:14.23] | Cause she kept a part of me close by and I liked it the best I can. |
[01:18.61] | And now that I know who I used to be it' s hard to be happy with who I am. |
[01:22.35] | And that' s where she came in. |
[01:24.15] | A halfbaked smile and a love to pretend, |
[01:26.54] | But prior to then, love was nothing more to me than a vacation, |
[01:30.27] | A vacant motivation, |
[01:31.07] | To avoid the means it takes to reach any real end. |
[01:34.65] | A sense of salvation, |
[01:36.29] | But also an element of bitter hope, |
[01:37.93] | To cope with the rope that was tied around my neck. |
[01:42.61] | And the saviour I hoped for was chased away, |
[01:45.00] | Way back then, |
[01:45.85] | When I found vices to take the place of all the things I wanted to be. |
[01:51.08] | And I lost sight of me, |
[01:52.72] | But I was told I could be anybody. |
[01:54.47] | And I thought I could find purpose in loving someone who looks like me |
[01:58.80] | And I began dreaming or sinking, |
[02:00.49] | Most nights they meant the same thing. |
[02:02.03] | And when that salvation finally found me, |
[02:04.93]] | It was traded away for thirty pieces of silver. |
[02:07.12] | Seems like that' s not too much I guess but I sold my saviour for a whole lot less. |
[02:10.95] | My two best friends, |
[02:12.64] | Acceptance and a mirage of fake happiness. |
[02:15.43] | And now the words I use to cling to as my refuge, |
[02:18.41] | Now torture me in my head. |
[02:20.05] | Forgive them father they know not what they do, |
[02:22.24] | It' s funny cause it seems like I did every time I lied to you. |
[02:26.32] | And that' s my only truth, |
[02:28.41] | That I can' t sleep at night |
[02:29.65] | And I can' t get these things right, |
[02:31.25] | And salvation escaped when she came into view. |
[02:34.13] | And now I' m hoping my whole life isn' t mistaken as you, |
[02:37.86] | But there' s no way of knowing, |
[02:39.71] | When all I' m doing is coping. |
[02:42.49] | With my own pride. |
[02:46.28] | And my past would fight with me hoping I would find truth, |
[02:49.52] | But it' s never a good idea to start a fight with a man who has nothing to lose, |
[02:55.24] | And I' m empty. |
[02:56.98] | My heart is caving in. |
[03:00.62] | And for whatever reason, |
[03:03.80] | I finally let somebody in. |
[03:07.44] | And I don' t know what love is. |
[03:09.43] | But I' m growing. |