| [00:00.411] | Hey,hon?Would you help me get the plates down? |
| [00:03.046] | Yeah.Hey,here’s an idea. |
| [00:05.091] | Why don’t we use our wedding china today? |
| [00:07.029] | No, I just think we should save our china |
| [00:08.457] | for something really special. |
| [00:08.960] | Like if the queen of England comes over. |
| [00:13.479] | Honey,she keeps canceling on us.Take the hint. |
| [00:17.640] | What if something get broken?They’re so expensive. |
| [00:19.791] | What is the point of having them if we never use them? |
| [00:23.079] | Okay.But if something get broken and then the queen comes over. |
| [00:26.081] | I will explain it to her. |
| [00:27.609] | Like I’d let you talk to the queen. |
| [00:31.979] | Wow,the parade is really good this year. |
| [00:35.070] | Man,those horses can crap. |
| [00:38.742] | Next up is a marching band from Muskoqee,Oklahoma. |
| [00:41.181] | Muskoqee?That’s like four hours from Tulsa! |
| [00:46.577] | And here’s the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap..Days of Our Lives. |
| [00:51.835] | Oh,my God!! |
| [00:57.414] | Aren’t you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of our Lives? |
| [01:00.591] | Yeah. I forgot! I’m supposed to be there! |
| [01:05.878] | I can’t believe I forgot! |
| [01:07.046] | I usually write stuff like this down on my arm! |
| [01:12.145] | Stupid long sleeves! |
| [01:16.280] | What are you gonna do? |
| [01:17.717] | I’ll come up with a good reason why I wasn’t there. |
| [01:21.463] | The producer are gonna be mad. |
| [01:23.117] | They sat us down and said:“Everyone has to be there,6 a.m. sharp.That means you,Tribbiani.” |
| [01:29.364] | Like I was some kind of idiot. |
| [01:34.136] | Well,you proved them wrong. |
| [02:25.269] | Oh,Emma |
| [02:27.421] | This is your first Thanksgiving.What are you thank for?Mommy’s boobies? |
| [02:35.881] | A lot of people are thankful for those. |
| [02:39.703] | Hello? Rachel? |
| [02:43.201] | Who is it? |
| [02:44.390] | It’s your favorite sister. |
| [02:47.073] | Jill?- Amy!- |
| [02:50.094] | Hide my rings. |
| [02:56.975] | Amy! Happy Thanksgaving. |
| [03:05.174] | Do you have a hair straightener? |
| [03:12.142] | Hair straightener. |
| [03:14.959] | I haven’t seen you in like a year |
| [03:16.887] | I know. I know. I’ve just been crazed. |
| [03:19.862] | Well,me too. I had a baby |
| [03:23.007] | I decorated Dad’s office. |
| [03:26.015] | Yeah? Well,unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing. |
| [03:32.722] | Listen, about that hair straightener,honey I really need. I’m gonna have dinner at my boyfriend’s house. |
| [03:39.358] | Oh my God. |
| [03:41.540] | Is this Emmett? |
| [03:48.559] | It’s Emma. |
| [03:49.871] | It’s a girl? |
| [03:53.344] | Hey Amy. |
| [03:54.569] | Amy,you remember Ross? |
| [03:57.211] | Not really. |
| [03:59.355] | But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date. |
| [04:05.911] | That was me.No, he was this creepy guy from high school |
| [04:11.085] | who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade. |
| [04:14.723] | Still me |
| [04:17.761] | No, I’m not talking about you. |
| [04:19.267] | It was your fat friend’s brother with that bad Afro. |
| [04:22.144] | Okay Amy. I’m gonna save you time, okay? |
| [04:24.197] | All me! |
| [04:30.828] | Careful.Careful.Careful |
| [04:36.789] | I’ll tell you what, for the rest of our lives.I’ll be careful until told otherwise. |
| [04:43.881] | This isn’t the china we picked out. I know. |
| [04:46.400] | After you left the store, I chose different ones. |
| [04:50.263] | Why? - No offense, honey. |
| [04:51.762] | but your taste is a little feminine for me. |
| [04:54.251] | Suddenly flowers are feminine? |
| [04:58.368] | Hey,everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [05:01.327] | Happy Thanksgiving.Phoebe! |
| [05:03.884] | What’s going on.Joe? |
| [05:04.845] | Listen. I need a good lie. |
| [05:07.946] | How about the whole “man walking on the moon”thing, you know?“ |
| [05:12.713] | You can see the strings people! |
| [05:16.532] | No,no,no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn’t at a work thing today. |
| [05:20.461] | Honey you stink at lying. |
| [05:22.382] | I do not. |
| [05:23.362] | Really? Let me ask you something. |
| [05:24.819] | Yesterday at the coffeehouse..I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone.Who took it? |
| [05:31.864] | Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse..and a raccoon ran in |
| [05:36.619] | And went straight for your muffin. I said:“Hey don’t eat that!That’s Phoebe’s!” |
| [05:40.265] | And he said: |
| [05:43.855] | He said,”Joey, you stink at lying.” |
| [05:46.396] | What am I gonna do? |
| [05:48.104] | Don’t worry.We’ll come up with a lie. |
| [05:49.666] | I’ll help you practice. |
| [05:50.550] | Great.That’d be great.Thank you |
| [05:52.433] | Sure. What was the work thing? |
| [05:55.846] | “Pick up Grandma at the airport.” -Oh ,man! |
| [06:03.079] | She‘s precious. |
| [06:05.435] | Do you ever worry that she’s gonna get your real nose? |
| [06:09.199] | Amy.. |
| [06:12.149] | Yes I do. I really do. |
| [06:19.054] | Hello? Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs? |
| [06:24.501] | Sure. We don’t live there, but.. |
| [06:28.059] | Seriously? It’s just these rooms? |
| [06:32.388] | I thought you were a doctor. |
| [06:34.350] | Yean no. Ross has a Ph.D. |
| [06:41.938] | God.. She is unbelievable |
| [06:45.175] | I know. I mean, a PhD is just as good as an MD |
| [06:48.436] | Sure. Ross,yeah! |
| [06:50.438] | If I have a heart attack at a restaurant,I want you there with your fossil brush. |
| [06:57.291] | Stupid Thanksgiving.-What? What ?What happened? |
| [07:00.937] | My boyfriend canceled on me. |
| [07:02.825] | I mean, I finally find a real relationship, someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town! |
| [07:10.570] | I swear,it’s almost not even worth dating married guys. |
| [07:14.237] | Don’t say that. |
| [07:18.505] | God, I was so looking forward to this. |
| [07:20.136] | It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. |
| [07:23.339] | We were gonna have sushi. |
| [07:27.105] | Amy..don’t cry |
| [07:30.521] | Ross,can I talk to you in private? |
| [07:32.807] | Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or? |
| [07:39.241] | Look. I was thinking. If it’s okay with Monica.. |
| [07:41.818] | I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. |
| [07:45.473] | You know, I think that’s a great idea. It‘ll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. |
| [07:52.638] | Look. I know she’s a little tough to take. |
| [07:54.539] | But she has nowhere to go and she’s my sister. She’s Emma’s aunt. |
| [08:00.374] | And I would like them to bond. |
| [08:02.589] | Ok,fine. I don’t want them bonding too much. |
| [08:05.710] | I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. |
| [08:08.061] | Ross you know what she may need one.We’re just gonna have to make our peace with that! |
| [08:19.611] | Hey you guys. This is my sister Amy. |
| [08:25.259] | This is Chandler.Joey.Phoebe. and you know Mon. |
| [08:29.310] | Oh my god. You‘re on Days of Our lives! |
| [08:33.308] | Yeah |
| [08:34.933] | Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you! |
| [08:40.363] | Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [08:48.376] | So welcome. Is this the first time you’re seeing Emma? |
| [08:51.411] | Yeah.. I think so |
| [08:52.991] | It’s nice to meet you.Emma |
| [08:56.560] | Phoebe.-That’s a funny noise. |
| [09:03.878] | Phoebe? I still need some help here. Right okay. |
| [09:08.031] | So it’s not just the lie you tell but it’s the way you tell it. For example |
| [09:12.048] | If you look at the ground when you’re talking, people know you’re lying. |
| [09:16.513] | I don’t know why this is so hard for me , lying is basically just acting |
| [09:21.027] | and I am a terrific actor |
| [09:22.298] | You’re a terrific actor |
| [09:26.986] | Hey. Where’s the baby? |
| [09:28.929] | We just put her down for a nap. |
| [09:30.864] | Listen I was just thinking, you know what would be incredible? |
| [09:34.647] | If you guys died.. |
| [09:38.869] | Thank you Amy. |
| [09:41.296] | No,no then I would get the baby |
| [09:44.304] | It would be just like a movie. |
| [09:46.598] | At first I wouldn’t know what to do with her and then I would rise to the occasion |
| [09:48.720] | I’d get a makeover and get married |
| [09:53.132] | That’s a great movie! |
| [09:57.380] | Now listen.Not that you guys could stop me or anything |
| [10:00.166] | Because you know you’d be dead. |
| [10:02.734] | But I was thinking about changing her name |
| [10:05.331] | I’m just not really a big fan of Emily. |
| [10:09.286] | Emma |
| [10:11.536] | Emma? Ross wants you. |
| [10:16.053] | Pheobe! |
| [10:19.269] | Why does she keep making that noise? |
| [10:25.124] | Honey I don’t know how to tell you this .. |
| [10:27.131] | But if something were to happen to Ross or myself |
| [10:31.270] | you would’t get the baby |
| [10:34.088] | Well who would? |
| [10:36.338] | Well we haven’t officially asked them yet |
| [10:39.019] | But we would want Monica and Chandler |
| [10:42.753] | I can’t believe you’d want us to raise Emma |
| [10:45.474] | Oh my God. I’m so moved. |
| [10:47.689] | I don't believe this.Hold on a second. You guys die |
| [10:49.886] | and I don’t get your baby? |
| [10:52.718] | Amy see..we’re a lot closer to Monica and Chandler |
| [10:56.454] | We see them every day. And truthfully you don’t seem connected to the baby |
| [11:00.656] | Connected? To what? She’s a lump. |
| [11:06.992] | You know guys I’ve gotta say this means so much to me |
| [11:09.863] | I mean that you would trust me ..with your child |
| [11:14.009] | I mean we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own |
| [11:20.060] | You know. I’ve had my doubts about my skills as a father. |
| [11:23.132] | But..that you two ..that you two.. |
| [11:29.204] | This guy? Seriously? |
| [11:37.527] | |
| [11:39.252] | Okay. It’s time for dinner |
| [11:41.477] | Everyone we’re using our fancy china and it’s very expensive. So please be careful |
| [11:48.756] | |
| [11:55.426] | Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well-received. |
| [12:06.962] | Hey..How come my plates less fancy than everyone else’s? |
| [12:13.674] | Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? |
| [12:16.560] | No honey..That’s a special plate |
| [12:19.298] | See..it’s a game.Whoever gets that plate wins. |
| [12:25.290] | I can’t believe I won! |
| [12:28.715] | You know this is such a slap in the face . I mean I’m your sister and you would give you baby to these strangers over me |
| [12:36.460] | Monica is Ross’ sister |
| [12:39.527] | No Ross’ sister was really fat. |
| [12:44.777] | That was me |
| [12:47.143] | No she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy |
| [12:51.630] | Amy you’ve got to stop doing that! |
| [12:55.946] | |
| [13:00.342] | Okay.listen I know you’re having a bit of a family crisis but you don’t have to take it out on the plates. |
| [13:06.034] | I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut the food like this.. |
| [13:15.245] | See it , this way you protect plates and let’s face it you have fun |
| [13:21.834] | Okay how about this? If you guys die ..and the crazy plate lady dies |
| [13:28.314] | Then do I get the baby? |
| [13:31.679] | No if crazy plate lady.. |
| [13:35.730] | If Monica dies then I would get Emma.Right? |
| [13:39.482] | |
| [13:42.916] | Well,actually. |
| [13:44.235] | Actually what? |
| [13:45.730] | It’s just that in that case then Emma would go to my parents |
| [13:52.938] | What ? - Hurts, doesn’t it? |
| [13:57.604] | Who has to die for me to get her? |
| [14:00.599] | |
| [14:07.666] | So if Moinca’s not around I’m not good enough to raise Emma? |
| [14:11.189] | No that is not what we’re saying |
| [14:13.920] | Yeah..he’s lying.He looked down |
| [14:17.861] | What’s wrong with me? Am I incompetent? |
| [14:20.202] | Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you |
| [14:26.819] | You’re taking this the wrong way. We think you are going to be a wonderful parent |
| [14:31.788] | It’s jus， you're more the you know ..fun parent |
| [14:35.738] | Yeah and we wanna make sure that Emma also has someone like Monica |
| [14:41.171] | who’s more of a disciplinarian.Someone who can be firm and strict |
| [14:45.570] | That’s not how you see me ,is it? |
| [14:48.451] | No you’re all about the fun |
| [14:53.719] | |
| [14:57.268] | I may not know a lot about babies but do you really think I’m not capable |
| [15:01.217] | No. You both are equally capable |
| [15:03.872] | It’s just you’re strongest when you’re together. |
| [15:06.989] | Okay, So if we both had Emma and I died，she ‘d have to give her up |
| [15:13.907] | Sure,Monica would have to give he up |
| [15:16.323] | |
| [15:17.506] | I lie better than that right? |
| [15:21.225] | |
| [15:21.636] | Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die I get Emma ,then my wife dies.Then Emma |
| [15:27.542] | the one tiny ray of hope left in my life.. gets taken away from me? |
| [15:31.242] | There’s your movie. |
| [15:36.057] | |
| [15:37.555] | Hey, there you are |
| [15:39.880] | You disappeared after dinner |
| [15:41.622] | Did somebody miss me? Was there a child to raise poorly? |
| [15:46.722] | Ross and Rachel don’t know what they’re saying. |
| [15:50.102] | It’s not like they’re so responsible.Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a five-year-old condom |
| [15:59.044] | No they’re right. I’m not a strong father figure, and I never will be. |
| [16:03.626] | No you learn these things. You grow into it. |
| [16:05.280] | Yeah,but it’s not who I am |
| [16:07.193] | Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. It’s true. |
| [16:11.994] | And look everybody knows it |
| [16:13.681] | I don’t know it |
| [16:15.425] | I wanna have a kid with you because I think you’ll be an amazing dad. |
| [16:19.257] | At the fun parts and at the hard parts |
| [16:22.712] | Well can you picture me saying “Go to your room you’re grounded”? |
| [16:25.878] | Can you hear me say”You’re grounded”? |
| [16:28.492] | You said that to me last week |
| [16:32.631] | How hard is it?“No shoes on the furniture!” |
| [16:38.080] | |
| [16:41.629] | The producer from Davs left a message asking why I wasn’t at the parade |
| [16:47.464] | They said everybody’s really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa! |
| [16:53.031] | It’s okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you. |
| [16:55.577] | It’s easy to remember and it doesn’t invite a lot of questions. |
| [16:59.299] | You weren’t at the parade because you had family emergency |
| [17:03.562] | I like that! Yeah |
| [17:06.528] | I wasn’t at the parade because I had a family emergency. |
| [17:09.368] | What happened? |
| [17:11.466] | My sister’s raccoon came.. No nothing with a raccoon! |
| [17:16.777] | |
| [17:17.649] | Wait..what are you doing? - setting the table |
| [17:19.837] | We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert, too |
| [17:24.248] | How nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. |
| [17:35.417] | Hey dude you okay? |
| [17:36.878] | Sorry about before |
| [17:37.927] | That’s okay.You’re totally right I don't know anything about disciplining a child. |
| [17:42.334] | But it did hurt my feelings. And I want you to know that if I died ..you don’t get joey |
| [17:53.089] | |
| [18:02.769] | In case you hadn’t noticed I’m not talking to you |
| [18:08.250] | You know.. this is just.. This is classic Rachel |
| [18:11.060] | Oh yeah right.Remember in high school when I died and didn’t give you my baby? |
| [18:18.298] | This might be my one chance to have a child Rachel |
| [18:22.336] | I mean you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career |
| [18:24.168] | What career? - I’m a decorator |
| [18:28.635] | You decorate Dad’s office and now you’re a decorator? |
| [18:32.269] | okay I went to the zoo yesterday.Now I’m a koala bear. |
| [18:39.927] | Why can’t you ever be supportive? |
| [18:42.018] | You wanna talk supportive? |
| [18:43.872] | You didn’t come and visit me when I was in hospital having the baby! |
| [18:48.004] | You didn’t come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done! |
| [18:53.391] | I did the first time |
| [18:57.980] | You know what？ You wanna know why I am not giving Emily to you? |
| [19:01.076] | Emma - |
| [19:01.605] | Whose side are you on?! |
| [19:05.418] | I’m not giving you Emma because you can’t handle the responsibility of a child. |
| [19:10.147] | Well how hard could it be? You do it |
| [19:17.915] | You wanna know why you don’t want me to have the baby? |
| [19:21.255] | Because you don’t want me to be happy |
| [19:23.707] | You have always been jealous of me |
| [19:26.061] | Jealous of what? |
| [19:27.494] | Of you lack of responsibility?Your immaturity? your total disregard for other people’s feelings? |
| [19:34.673] | To name a few |
| [19:38.942] | You know. You’ve always been like this.You had to have everything. |
| [19:40.906] | and I couldn’t have anything. |
| [19:44.478] | Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean do you even realize how much that hurt me? |
| [19:50.722] | Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with hime! |
| [19:53.191] | Come on that was 20 years ago |
| [19:54.340] | Get over it |
| [19:56.943] | I cannot believe that I invited you here today! |
| [19:59.877] | Yeah well you know what I cannot believe |
| [20:01.705] | That my so-called sister |
| [20:03.808] | Gets a 30 percent discount from Ralph Lauren. |
| [20:06.693] | and I still have to pay retail? |
| [20:10.161] | It’s 45. |
| [20:14.193] | You bitch |
| [20:18.541] | You just think you’re so perfect with your new baby and your small apartment |
| [20:26.043] | Well let me tell you something. |
| [20:28.297] | Your baby isn’t even that cute |
| [20:32.447] | Too far Amy.Too far |
| [20:38.279] | |
| [20:40.183] | Take it back. -No what are you gonna do ?Make me? |
| [20:41.329] | Hey man I work out! |
| [20:47.679] | So do I |
| [20:48.591] | I do Pilates |
| [20:49.560] | I do yoga. |
| [20:50.651] | Bring it on! |
| [20:55.744] | Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes! |
| [20:57.831] | Did you just push me? - Yeah I think I did |
| [21:00.000] | All right that’s it. |
| [21:01.411] | Forget the bubble wrap!There isn’t time! |
| [21:12.858] | Oh my god.Shouldn’t we stop this? |
| [21:15.195] | Are you out of your mind? Let’s throw some jell-O on them! |
| [21:36.733] | All right that is it! This our apartment and you cannot behave this way! |
| [21:41.880] | If you can’t act your age you shouldn’t be here at all |
| [21:44.566] | Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out. |
| [21:50.070] | but they’re very important to Monica. |
| [21:52.000] | And I want you to apologize to her, now |
| [21:55.598] | I'm sorry.-Mon,I’m so sorry |
| [21:58.753] | Okay That’s better |
| [22:00.293] | Now I want you to apologize to each other and mean it |
| [22:03.809] | Sorry. Sorry |
| [22:06.140] | By the way that fight was totally arousing |
| [22:13.753] | Dude.Well done. If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies.you can totally take care of Emma. |
| [22:22.118] | Yeah,well thanks. |
| [22:24.336] | So..so now do I get Joey? |
| [22:28.808] | Okay .but you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose. |
| [22:38.903] | Are you okay?mon? |
| [22:41.109] | I mean these things happen. |
| [22:43.237] | I means it’s just a plate.It’s not somebody died |
| [22:47.072] | It’s all right. You can mourn |
| [22:49.145] | Thank you. It was so beautiful |
| [22:55.369] | I’m gonna go to Joey’s and get the pies. |
| [22:57.408] | Actually not pies.It’s just a pie |
| [23:02.751] | I don’t care |
| [23:05.013] | Oh my god. I’ve lost the will to scold |
| [23:12.962] | Look Amy.. |
| [23:15.315] | We got a little.. a little out of control over there |
| [23:20.687] | And I’m sorry. You are my sister and if it really means that much to you |
| [23:28.028] | So you’re gonna give me the baby? |
| [23:29.839] | No I was.. I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount |
| [23:35.308] | You are not gonna regret this |
| [23:41.740] | She needs changing. |
| [23:42.723] | No no no .I’ll get her |
| [23:44.907] | I am super confident ,totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma |
| [23:49.222] | I’ll be right there,Emma |
| [23:50.356] | Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. |
| [23:59.134] | Well.what do you know?I guess I’ll be the one who dies first |
| [24:18.679] | Does Monica know about you breaking her plates yet? |
| [24:20.642] | Nope |
| [24:21.509] | Broke them all, huh? -Yep |
| [24:23.059] | You gonna tell her?-Nope |
| [24:27.624] | Hey .So I’m gonna put the plates back |
| [24:31.052] | I think you’re right.We shouldn’t use these plates for a long time |
| [24:34.479] | Like only if the queen comes? |
| [24:35.934] | Maybe not even then. |
| [24:39.196] | Hey I did it |
| [24:40.643] | I told my producer I had a family emergency.He totally bought it |
| [24:44.855] | Thanks for teaching me how to lie Phebs |
| [24:46.227] | No problem.Next week,stealing |
| [24:50.791] | Bye plates |
| [24:51.908] | You told her you broke all the plates? |
| [24:55.968] | What？Something happened with the plates? |
| [25:00.133] | Yeah..this raccoon came in.. |
| [00:00.411] | Hey, hon? Would you help me get the plates down? |
| [00:03.046] | Yeah. Hey, here' s an idea. |
| [00:05.091] | Why don' t we use our wedding china today? |
| [00:07.029] | No, I just think we should save our china |
| [00:08.457] | for something really special. |
| [00:08.960] | Like if the queen of England comes over. |
| [00:13.479] | Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint. |
| [00:17.640] | What if something get broken? They' re so expensive. |
| [00:19.791] | What is the point of having them if we never use them? |
| [00:23.079] | Okay. But if something get broken and then the queen comes over. |
| [00:26.081] | I will explain it to her. |
| [00:27.609] | Like I' d let you talk to the queen. |
| [00:31.979] | Wow, the parade is really good this year. |
| [00:35.070] | Man, those horses can crap. |
| [00:38.742] | Next up is a marching band from Muskoqee, Oklahoma. |
| [00:41.181] | Muskoqee? That' s like four hours from Tulsa! |
| [00:46.577] | And here' s the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap.. Days of Our Lives. |
| [00:51.835] | Oh, my God!! |
| [00:57.414] | Aren' t you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of our Lives? |
| [01:00.591] | Yeah. I forgot! I' m supposed to be there! |
| [01:05.878] | I can' t believe I forgot! |
| [01:07.046] | I usually write stuff like this down on my arm! |
| [01:12.145] | Stupid long sleeves! |
| [01:16.280] | What are you gonna do? |
| [01:17.717] | I' ll come up with a good reason why I wasn' t there. |
| [01:21.463] | The producer are gonna be mad. |
| [01:23.117] | They sat us down and said:" Everyone has to be there, 6 a. m. sharp. That means you, Tribbiani." |
| [01:29.364] | Like I was some kind of idiot. |
| [01:34.136] | Well, you proved them wrong. |
| [02:25.269] | Oh, Emma |
| [02:27.421] | This is your first Thanksgiving. What are you thank for? Mommy' s boobies? |
| [02:35.881] | A lot of people are thankful for those. |
| [02:39.703] | Hello? Rachel? |
| [02:43.201] | Who is it? |
| [02:44.390] | It' s your favorite sister. |
| [02:47.073] | Jill? Amy! |
| [02:50.094] | Hide my rings. |
| [02:56.975] | Amy! Happy Thanksgaving. |
| [03:05.174] | Do you have a hair straightener? |
| [03:12.142] | Hair straightener. |
| [03:14.959] | I haven' t seen you in like a year |
| [03:16.887] | I know. I know. I' ve just been crazed. |
| [03:19.862] | Well, me too. I had a baby |
| [03:23.007] | I decorated Dad' s office. |
| [03:26.015] | Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing. |
| [03:32.722] | Listen, about that hair straightener, honey I really need. I' m gonna have dinner at my boyfriend' s house. |
| [03:39.358] | Oh my God. |
| [03:41.540] | Is this Emmett? |
| [03:48.559] | It' s Emma. |
| [03:49.871] | It' s a girl? |
| [03:53.344] | Hey Amy. |
| [03:54.569] | Amy, you remember Ross? |
| [03:57.211] | Not really. |
| [03:59.355] | But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date. |
| [04:05.911] | That was me. No, he was this creepy guy from high school |
| [04:11.085] | who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade. |
| [04:14.723] | Still me |
| [04:17.761] | No, I' m not talking about you. |
| [04:19.267] | It was your fat friend' s brother with that bad Afro. |
| [04:22.144] | Okay Amy. I' m gonna save you time, okay? |
| [04:24.197] | All me! |
| [04:30.828] | Careful. Careful. Careful |
| [04:36.789] | I' ll tell you what, for the rest of our lives. I' ll be careful until told otherwise. |
| [04:43.881] | This isn' t the china we picked out. I know. |
| [04:46.400] | After you left the store, I chose different ones. |
| [04:50.263] | Why? No offense, honey. |
| [04:51.762] | but your taste is a little feminine for me. |
| [04:54.251] | Suddenly flowers are feminine? |
| [04:58.368] | Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [05:01.327] | Happy Thanksgiving. Phoebe! |
| [05:03.884] | What' s going on. Joe? |
| [05:04.845] | Listen. I need a good lie. |
| [05:07.946] | How about the whole " man walking on the moon" thing, you know?" |
| [05:12.713] | You can see the strings people! |
| [05:16.532] | No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn' t at a work thing today. |
| [05:20.461] | Honey you stink at lying. |
| [05:22.382] | I do not. |
| [05:23.362] | Really? Let me ask you something. |
| [05:24.819] | Yesterday at the coffeehouse.. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it? |
| [05:31.864] | Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse.. and a raccoon ran in |
| [05:36.619] | And went straight for your muffin. I said:" Hey don' t eat that! That' s Phoebe' s!" |
| [05:40.265] | And he said: |
| [05:43.855] | He said," Joey, you stink at lying." |
| [05:46.396] | What am I gonna do? |
| [05:48.104] | Don' t worry. We' ll come up with a lie. |
| [05:49.666] | I' ll help you practice. |
| [05:50.550] | Great. That' d be great. Thank you |
| [05:52.433] | Sure. What was the work thing? |
| [05:55.846] | " Pick up Grandma at the airport." Oh , man! |
| [06:03.079] | She' s precious. |
| [06:05.435] | Do you ever worry that she' s gonna get your real nose? |
| [06:09.199] | Amy.. |
| [06:12.149] | Yes I do. I really do. |
| [06:19.054] | Hello? Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs? |
| [06:24.501] | Sure. We don' t live there, but.. |
| [06:28.059] | Seriously? It' s just these rooms? |
| [06:32.388] | I thought you were a doctor. |
| [06:34.350] | Yean no. Ross has a Ph. D. |
| [06:41.938] | God.. She is unbelievable |
| [06:45.175] | I know. I mean, a PhD is just as good as an MD |
| [06:48.436] | Sure. Ross, yeah! |
| [06:50.438] | If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush. |
| [06:57.291] | Stupid Thanksgiving. What? What ? What happened? |
| [07:00.937] | My boyfriend canceled on me. |
| [07:02.825] | I mean, I finally find a real relationship, someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town! |
| [07:10.570] | I swear, it' s almost not even worth dating married guys. |
| [07:14.237] | Don' t say that. |
| [07:18.505] | God, I was so looking forward to this. |
| [07:20.136] | It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. |
| [07:23.339] | We were gonna have sushi. |
| [07:27.105] | Amy.. don' t cry |
| [07:30.521] | Ross, can I talk to you in private? |
| [07:32.807] | Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or? |
| [07:39.241] | Look. I was thinking. If it' s okay with Monica.. |
| [07:41.818] | I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. |
| [07:45.473] | You know, I think that' s a great idea. It' ll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. |
| [07:52.638] | Look. I know she' s a little tough to take. |
| [07:54.539] | But she has nowhere to go and she' s my sister. She' s Emma' s aunt. |
| [08:00.374] | And I would like them to bond. |
| [08:02.589] | Ok, fine. I don' t want them bonding too much. |
| [08:05.710] | I don' t want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. |
| [08:08.061] | Ross you know what she may need one. We' re just gonna have to make our peace with that! |
| [08:19.611] | Hey you guys. This is my sister Amy. |
| [08:25.259] | This is Chandler. Joey. Phoebe. and you know Mon. |
| [08:29.310] | Oh my god. You' re on Days of Our lives! |
| [08:33.308] | Yeah |
| [08:34.933] | Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you! |
| [08:40.363] | Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [08:48.376] | So welcome. Is this the first time you' re seeing Emma? |
| [08:51.411] | Yeah.. I think so |
| [08:52.991] | It' s nice to meet you. Emma |
| [08:56.560] | Phoebe. That' s a funny noise. |
| [09:03.878] | Phoebe? I still need some help here. Right okay. |
| [09:08.031] | So it' s not just the lie you tell but it' s the way you tell it. For example |
| [09:12.048] | If you look at the ground when you' re talking, people know you' re lying. |
| [09:16.513] | I don' t know why this is so hard for me , lying is basically just acting |
| [09:21.027] | and I am a terrific actor |
| [09:22.298] | You' re a terrific actor |
| [09:26.986] | Hey. Where' s the baby? |
| [09:28.929] | We just put her down for a nap. |
| [09:30.864] | Listen I was just thinking, you know what would be incredible? |
| [09:34.647] | If you guys died.. |
| [09:38.869] | Thank you Amy. |
| [09:41.296] | No, no then I would get the baby |
| [09:44.304] | It would be just like a movie. |
| [09:46.598] | At first I wouldn' t know what to do with her and then I would rise to the occasion |
| [09:48.720] | I' d get a makeover and get married |
| [09:53.132] | That' s a great movie! |
| [09:57.380] | Now listen. Not that you guys could stop me or anything |
| [10:00.166] | Because you know you' d be dead. |
| [10:02.734] | But I was thinking about changing her name |
| [10:05.331] | I' m just not really a big fan of Emily. |
| [10:09.286] | Emma |
| [10:11.536] | Emma? Ross wants you. |
| [10:16.053] | Pheobe! |
| [10:19.269] | Why does she keep making that noise? |
| [10:25.124] | Honey I don' t know how to tell you this .. |
| [10:27.131] | But if something were to happen to Ross or myself |
| [10:31.270] | you would' t get the baby |
| [10:34.088] | Well who would? |
| [10:36.338] | Well we haven' t officially asked them yet |
| [10:39.019] | But we would want Monica and Chandler |
| [10:42.753] | I can' t believe you' d want us to raise Emma |
| [10:45.474] | Oh my God. I' m so moved. |
| [10:47.689] | I don' t believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die |
| [10:49.886] | and I don' t get your baby? |
| [10:52.718] | Amy see.. we' re a lot closer to Monica and Chandler |
| [10:56.454] | We see them every day. And truthfully you don' t seem connected to the baby |
| [11:00.656] | Connected? To what? She' s a lump. |
| [11:06.992] | You know guys I' ve gotta say this means so much to me |
| [11:09.863] | I mean that you would trust me .. with your child |
| [11:14.009] | I mean we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own |
| [11:20.060] | You know. I' ve had my doubts about my skills as a father. |
| [11:23.132] | But.. that you two .. that you two.. |
| [11:29.204] | This guy? Seriously? |
| [11:37.527] | |
| [11:39.252] | Okay. It' s time for dinner |
| [11:41.477] | Everyone we' re using our fancy china and it' s very expensive. So please be careful |
| [11:48.756] | |
| [11:55.426] | Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be wellreceived. |
| [12:06.962] | Hey.. How come my plates less fancy than everyone else' s? |
| [12:13.674] | Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? |
| [12:16.560] | No honey.. That' s a special plate |
| [12:19.298] | See.. it' s a game. Whoever gets that plate wins. |
| [12:25.290] | I can' t believe I won! |
| [12:28.715] | You know this is such a slap in the face . I mean I' m your sister and you would give you baby to these strangers over me |
| [12:36.460] | Monica is Ross' sister |
| [12:39.527] | No Ross' sister was really fat. |
| [12:44.777] | That was me |
| [12:47.143] | No she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy |
| [12:51.630] | Amy you' ve got to stop doing that! |
| [12:55.946] | |
| [13:00.342] | Okay. listen I know you' re having a bit of a family crisis but you don' t have to take it out on the plates. |
| [13:06.034] | I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut the food like this.. |
| [13:15.245] | See it , this way you protect plates and let' s face it you have fun |
| [13:21.834] | Okay how about this? If you guys die .. and the crazy plate lady dies |
| [13:28.314] | Then do I get the baby? |
| [13:31.679] | No if crazy plate lady.. |
| [13:35.730] | If Monica dies then I would get Emma. Right? |
| [13:39.482] | |
| [13:42.916] | Well, actually. |
| [13:44.235] | Actually what? |
| [13:45.730] | It' s just that in that case then Emma would go to my parents |
| [13:52.938] | What ? Hurts, doesn' t it? |
| [13:57.604] | Who has to die for me to get her? |
| [14:00.599] | |
| [14:07.666] | So if Moinca' s not around I' m not good enough to raise Emma? |
| [14:11.189] | No that is not what we' re saying |
| [14:13.920] | Yeah.. he' s lying. He looked down |
| [14:17.861] | What' s wrong with me? Am I incompetent? |
| [14:20.202] | Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you |
| [14:26.819] | You' re taking this the wrong way. We think you are going to be a wonderful parent |
| [14:31.788] | It' s jus, you' re more the you know .. fun parent |
| [14:35.738] | Yeah and we wanna make sure that Emma also has someone like Monica |
| [14:41.171] | who' s more of a disciplinarian. Someone who can be firm and strict |
| [14:45.570] | That' s not how you see me , is it? |
| [14:48.451] | No you' re all about the fun |
| [14:53.719] | |
| [14:57.268] | I may not know a lot about babies but do you really think I' m not capable |
| [15:01.217] | No. You both are equally capable |
| [15:03.872] | It' s just you' re strongest when you' re together. |
| [15:06.989] | Okay, So if we both had Emma and I died, she ' d have to give her up |
| [15:13.907] | Sure, Monica would have to give he up |
| [15:16.323] | |
| [15:17.506] | I lie better than that right? |
| [15:21.225] | |
| [15:21.636] | Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die I get Emma , then my wife dies. Then Emma |
| [15:27.542] | the one tiny ray of hope left in my life.. gets taken away from me? |
| [15:31.242] | There' s your movie. |
| [15:36.057] | |
| [15:37.555] | Hey, there you are |
| [15:39.880] | You disappeared after dinner |
| [15:41.622] | Did somebody miss me? Was there a child to raise poorly? |
| [15:46.722] | Ross and Rachel don' t know what they' re saying. |
| [15:50.102] | It' s not like they' re so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a fiveyearold condom |
| [15:59.044] | No they' re right. I' m not a strong father figure, and I never will be. |
| [16:03.626] | No you learn these things. You grow into it. |
| [16:05.280] | Yeah, but it' s not who I am |
| [16:07.193] | Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. It' s true. |
| [16:11.994] | And look everybody knows it |
| [16:13.681] | I don' t know it |
| [16:15.425] | I wanna have a kid with you because I think you' ll be an amazing dad. |
| [16:19.257] | At the fun parts and at the hard parts |
| [16:22.712] | Well can you picture me saying " Go to your room you' re grounded"? |
| [16:25.878] | Can you hear me say" You' re grounded"? |
| [16:28.492] | You said that to me last week |
| [16:32.631] | How hard is it?" No shoes on the furniture!" |
| [16:38.080] | |
| [16:41.629] | The producer from Davs left a message asking why I wasn' t at the parade |
| [16:47.464] | They said everybody' s really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa! |
| [16:53.031] | It' s okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you. |
| [16:55.577] | It' s easy to remember and it doesn' t invite a lot of questions. |
| [16:59.299] | You weren' t at the parade because you had family emergency |
| [17:03.562] | I like that! Yeah |
| [17:06.528] | I wasn' t at the parade because I had a family emergency. |
| [17:09.368] | What happened? |
| [17:11.466] | My sister' s raccoon came.. No nothing with a raccoon! |
| [17:16.777] | |
| [17:17.649] | Wait.. what are you doing? setting the table |
| [17:19.837] | We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert, too |
| [17:24.248] | How nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. |
| [17:35.417] | Hey dude you okay? |
| [17:36.878] | Sorry about before |
| [17:37.927] | That' s okay. You' re totally right I don' t know anything about disciplining a child. |
| [17:42.334] | But it did hurt my feelings. And I want you to know that if I died .. you don' t get joey |
| [17:53.089] | |
| [18:02.769] | In case you hadn' t noticed I' m not talking to you |
| [18:08.250] | You know.. this is just.. This is classic Rachel |
| [18:11.060] | Oh yeah right. Remember in high school when I died and didn' t give you my baby? |
| [18:18.298] | This might be my one chance to have a child Rachel |
| [18:22.336] | I mean you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career |
| [18:24.168] | What career? I' m a decorator |
| [18:28.635] | You decorate Dad' s office and now you' re a decorator? |
| [18:32.269] | okay I went to the zoo yesterday. Now I' m a koala bear. |
| [18:39.927] | Why can' t you ever be supportive? |
| [18:42.018] | You wanna talk supportive? |
| [18:43.872] | You didn' t come and visit me when I was in hospital having the baby! |
| [18:48.004] | You didn' t come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done! |
| [18:53.391] | I did the first time |
| [18:57.980] | You know what? You wanna know why I am not giving Emily to you? |
| [19:01.076] | Emma |
| [19:01.605] | Whose side are you on?! |
| [19:05.418] | I' m not giving you Emma because you can' t handle the responsibility of a child. |
| [19:10.147] | Well how hard could it be? You do it |
| [19:17.915] | You wanna know why you don' t want me to have the baby? |
| [19:21.255] | Because you don' t want me to be happy |
| [19:23.707] | You have always been jealous of me |
| [19:26.061] | Jealous of what? |
| [19:27.494] | Of you lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? your total disregard for other people' s feelings? |
| [19:34.673] | To name a few |
| [19:38.942] | You know. You' ve always been like this. You had to have everything. |
| [19:40.906] | and I couldn' t have anything. |
| [19:44.478] | Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean do you even realize how much that hurt me? |
| [19:50.722] | Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with hime! |
| [19:53.191] | Come on that was 20 years ago |
| [19:54.340] | Get over it |
| [19:56.943] | I cannot believe that I invited you here today! |
| [19:59.877] | Yeah well you know what I cannot believe |
| [20:01.705] | That my socalled sister |
| [20:03.808] | Gets a 30 percent discount from Ralph Lauren. |
| [20:06.693] | and I still have to pay retail? |
| [20:10.161] | It' s 45. |
| [20:14.193] | You bitch |
| [20:18.541] | You just think you' re so perfect with your new baby and your small apartment |
| [20:26.043] | Well let me tell you something. |
| [20:28.297] | Your baby isn' t even that cute |
| [20:32.447] | Too far Amy. Too far |
| [20:38.279] | |
| [20:40.183] | Take it back. No what are you gonna do ? Make me? |
| [20:41.329] | Hey man I work out! |
| [20:47.679] | So do I |
| [20:48.591] | I do Pilates |
| [20:49.560] | I do yoga. |
| [20:50.651] | Bring it on! |
| [20:55.744] | Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes! |
| [20:57.831] | Did you just push me? Yeah I think I did |
| [21:00.000] | All right that' s it. |
| [21:01.411] | Forget the bubble wrap! There isn' t time! |
| [21:12.858] | Oh my god. Shouldn' t we stop this? |
| [21:15.195] | Are you out of your mind? Let' s throw some jellO on them! |
| [21:36.733] | All right that is it! This our apartment and you cannot behave this way! |
| [21:41.880] | If you can' t act your age you shouldn' t be here at all |
| [21:44.566] | Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out. |
| [21:50.070] | but they' re very important to Monica. |
| [21:52.000] | And I want you to apologize to her, now |
| [21:55.598] | I' m sorry. Mon, I' m so sorry |
| [21:58.753] | Okay That' s better |
| [22:00.293] | Now I want you to apologize to each other and mean it |
| [22:03.809] | Sorry. Sorry |
| [22:06.140] | By the way that fight was totally arousing |
| [22:13.753] | Dude. Well done. If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies. you can totally take care of Emma. |
| [22:22.118] | Yeah, well thanks. |
| [22:24.336] | So.. so now do I get Joey? |
| [22:28.808] | Okay . but you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose. |
| [22:38.903] | Are you okay? mon? |
| [22:41.109] | I mean these things happen. |
| [22:43.237] | I means it' s just a plate. It' s not somebody died |
| [22:47.072] | It' s all right. You can mourn |
| [22:49.145] | Thank you. It was so beautiful |
| [22:55.369] | I' m gonna go to Joey' s and get the pies. |
| [22:57.408] | Actually not pies. It' s just a pie |
| [23:02.751] | I don' t care |
| [23:05.013] | Oh my god. I' ve lost the will to scold |
| [23:12.962] | Look Amy.. |
| [23:15.315] | We got a little.. a little out of control over there |
| [23:20.687] | And I' m sorry. You are my sister and if it really means that much to you |
| [23:28.028] | So you' re gonna give me the baby? |
| [23:29.839] | No I was.. I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount |
| [23:35.308] | You are not gonna regret this |
| [23:41.740] | She needs changing. |
| [23:42.723] | No no no . I' ll get her |
| [23:44.907] | I am super confident , totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma |
| [23:49.222] | I' ll be right there, Emma |
| [23:50.356] | Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. |
| [23:59.134] | Well. what do you know? I guess I' ll be the one who dies first |
| [24:18.679] | Does Monica know about you breaking her plates yet? |
| [24:20.642] | Nope |
| [24:21.509] | Broke them all, huh? Yep |
| [24:23.059] | You gonna tell her? Nope |
| [24:27.624] | Hey . So I' m gonna put the plates back |
| [24:31.052] | I think you' re right. We shouldn' t use these plates for a long time |
| [24:34.479] | Like only if the queen comes? |
| [24:35.934] | Maybe not even then. |
| [24:39.196] | Hey I did it |
| [24:40.643] | I told my producer I had a family emergency. He totally bought it |
| [24:44.855] | Thanks for teaching me how to lie Phebs |
| [24:46.227] | No problem. Next week, stealing |
| [24:50.791] | Bye plates |
| [24:51.908] | You told her you broke all the plates? |
| [24:55.968] | What? Something happened with the plates? |
| [25:00.133] | Yeah.. this raccoon came in.. |
| [00:00.411] | Hey, hon? Would you help me get the plates down? |
| [00:03.046] | Yeah. Hey, here' s an idea. |
| [00:05.091] | Why don' t we use our wedding china today? |
| [00:07.029] | No, I just think we should save our china |
| [00:08.457] | for something really special. |
| [00:08.960] | Like if the queen of England comes over. |
| [00:13.479] | Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint. |
| [00:17.640] | What if something get broken? They' re so expensive. |
| [00:19.791] | What is the point of having them if we never use them? |
| [00:23.079] | Okay. But if something get broken and then the queen comes over. |
| [00:26.081] | I will explain it to her. |
| [00:27.609] | Like I' d let you talk to the queen. |
| [00:31.979] | Wow, the parade is really good this year. |
| [00:35.070] | Man, those horses can crap. |
| [00:38.742] | Next up is a marching band from Muskoqee, Oklahoma. |
| [00:41.181] | Muskoqee? That' s like four hours from Tulsa! |
| [00:46.577] | And here' s the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap.. Days of Our Lives. |
| [00:51.835] | Oh, my God!! |
| [00:57.414] | Aren' t you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of our Lives? |
| [01:00.591] | Yeah. I forgot! I' m supposed to be there! |
| [01:05.878] | I can' t believe I forgot! |
| [01:07.046] | I usually write stuff like this down on my arm! |
| [01:12.145] | Stupid long sleeves! |
| [01:16.280] | What are you gonna do? |
| [01:17.717] | I' ll come up with a good reason why I wasn' t there. |
| [01:21.463] | The producer are gonna be mad. |
| [01:23.117] | They sat us down and said:" Everyone has to be there, 6 a. m. sharp. That means you, Tribbiani." |
| [01:29.364] | Like I was some kind of idiot. |
| [01:34.136] | Well, you proved them wrong. |
| [02:25.269] | Oh, Emma |
| [02:27.421] | This is your first Thanksgiving. What are you thank for? Mommy' s boobies? |
| [02:35.881] | A lot of people are thankful for those. |
| [02:39.703] | Hello? Rachel? |
| [02:43.201] | Who is it? |
| [02:44.390] | It' s your favorite sister. |
| [02:47.073] | Jill? Amy! |
| [02:50.094] | Hide my rings. |
| [02:56.975] | Amy! Happy Thanksgaving. |
| [03:05.174] | Do you have a hair straightener? |
| [03:12.142] | Hair straightener. |
| [03:14.959] | I haven' t seen you in like a year |
| [03:16.887] | I know. I know. I' ve just been crazed. |
| [03:19.862] | Well, me too. I had a baby |
| [03:23.007] | I decorated Dad' s office. |
| [03:26.015] | Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing. |
| [03:32.722] | Listen, about that hair straightener, honey I really need. I' m gonna have dinner at my boyfriend' s house. |
| [03:39.358] | Oh my God. |
| [03:41.540] | Is this Emmett? |
| [03:48.559] | It' s Emma. |
| [03:49.871] | It' s a girl? |
| [03:53.344] | Hey Amy. |
| [03:54.569] | Amy, you remember Ross? |
| [03:57.211] | Not really. |
| [03:59.355] | But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date. |
| [04:05.911] | That was me. No, he was this creepy guy from high school |
| [04:11.085] | who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade. |
| [04:14.723] | Still me |
| [04:17.761] | No, I' m not talking about you. |
| [04:19.267] | It was your fat friend' s brother with that bad Afro. |
| [04:22.144] | Okay Amy. I' m gonna save you time, okay? |
| [04:24.197] | All me! |
| [04:30.828] | Careful. Careful. Careful |
| [04:36.789] | I' ll tell you what, for the rest of our lives. I' ll be careful until told otherwise. |
| [04:43.881] | This isn' t the china we picked out. I know. |
| [04:46.400] | After you left the store, I chose different ones. |
| [04:50.263] | Why? No offense, honey. |
| [04:51.762] | but your taste is a little feminine for me. |
| [04:54.251] | Suddenly flowers are feminine? |
| [04:58.368] | Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [05:01.327] | Happy Thanksgiving. Phoebe! |
| [05:03.884] | What' s going on. Joe? |
| [05:04.845] | Listen. I need a good lie. |
| [05:07.946] | How about the whole " man walking on the moon" thing, you know?" |
| [05:12.713] | You can see the strings people! |
| [05:16.532] | No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn' t at a work thing today. |
| [05:20.461] | Honey you stink at lying. |
| [05:22.382] | I do not. |
| [05:23.362] | Really? Let me ask you something. |
| [05:24.819] | Yesterday at the coffeehouse.. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it? |
| [05:31.864] | Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse.. and a raccoon ran in |
| [05:36.619] | And went straight for your muffin. I said:" Hey don' t eat that! That' s Phoebe' s!" |
| [05:40.265] | And he said: |
| [05:43.855] | He said," Joey, you stink at lying." |
| [05:46.396] | What am I gonna do? |
| [05:48.104] | Don' t worry. We' ll come up with a lie. |
| [05:49.666] | I' ll help you practice. |
| [05:50.550] | Great. That' d be great. Thank you |
| [05:52.433] | Sure. What was the work thing? |
| [05:55.846] | " Pick up Grandma at the airport." Oh , man! |
| [06:03.079] | She' s precious. |
| [06:05.435] | Do you ever worry that she' s gonna get your real nose? |
| [06:09.199] | Amy.. |
| [06:12.149] | Yes I do. I really do. |
| [06:19.054] | Hello? Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs? |
| [06:24.501] | Sure. We don' t live there, but.. |
| [06:28.059] | Seriously? It' s just these rooms? |
| [06:32.388] | I thought you were a doctor. |
| [06:34.350] | Yean no. Ross has a Ph. D. |
| [06:41.938] | God.. She is unbelievable |
| [06:45.175] | I know. I mean, a PhD is just as good as an MD |
| [06:48.436] | Sure. Ross, yeah! |
| [06:50.438] | If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush. |
| [06:57.291] | Stupid Thanksgiving. What? What ? What happened? |
| [07:00.937] | My boyfriend canceled on me. |
| [07:02.825] | I mean, I finally find a real relationship, someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town! |
| [07:10.570] | I swear, it' s almost not even worth dating married guys. |
| [07:14.237] | Don' t say that. |
| [07:18.505] | God, I was so looking forward to this. |
| [07:20.136] | It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. |
| [07:23.339] | We were gonna have sushi. |
| [07:27.105] | Amy.. don' t cry |
| [07:30.521] | Ross, can I talk to you in private? |
| [07:32.807] | Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or? |
| [07:39.241] | Look. I was thinking. If it' s okay with Monica.. |
| [07:41.818] | I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. |
| [07:45.473] | You know, I think that' s a great idea. It' ll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. |
| [07:52.638] | Look. I know she' s a little tough to take. |
| [07:54.539] | But she has nowhere to go and she' s my sister. She' s Emma' s aunt. |
| [08:00.374] | And I would like them to bond. |
| [08:02.589] | Ok, fine. I don' t want them bonding too much. |
| [08:05.710] | I don' t want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. |
| [08:08.061] | Ross you know what she may need one. We' re just gonna have to make our peace with that! |
| [08:19.611] | Hey you guys. This is my sister Amy. |
| [08:25.259] | This is Chandler. Joey. Phoebe. and you know Mon. |
| [08:29.310] | Oh my god. You' re on Days of Our lives! |
| [08:33.308] | Yeah |
| [08:34.933] | Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you! |
| [08:40.363] | Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [08:48.376] | So welcome. Is this the first time you' re seeing Emma? |
| [08:51.411] | Yeah.. I think so |
| [08:52.991] | It' s nice to meet you. Emma |
| [08:56.560] | Phoebe. That' s a funny noise. |
| [09:03.878] | Phoebe? I still need some help here. Right okay. |
| [09:08.031] | So it' s not just the lie you tell but it' s the way you tell it. For example |
| [09:12.048] | If you look at the ground when you' re talking, people know you' re lying. |
| [09:16.513] | I don' t know why this is so hard for me , lying is basically just acting |
| [09:21.027] | and I am a terrific actor |
| [09:22.298] | You' re a terrific actor |
| [09:26.986] | Hey. Where' s the baby? |
| [09:28.929] | We just put her down for a nap. |
| [09:30.864] | Listen I was just thinking, you know what would be incredible? |
| [09:34.647] | If you guys died.. |
| [09:38.869] | Thank you Amy. |
| [09:41.296] | No, no then I would get the baby |
| [09:44.304] | It would be just like a movie. |
| [09:46.598] | At first I wouldn' t know what to do with her and then I would rise to the occasion |
| [09:48.720] | I' d get a makeover and get married |
| [09:53.132] | That' s a great movie! |
| [09:57.380] | Now listen. Not that you guys could stop me or anything |
| [10:00.166] | Because you know you' d be dead. |
| [10:02.734] | But I was thinking about changing her name |
| [10:05.331] | I' m just not really a big fan of Emily. |
| [10:09.286] | Emma |
| [10:11.536] | Emma? Ross wants you. |
| [10:16.053] | Pheobe! |
| [10:19.269] | Why does she keep making that noise? |
| [10:25.124] | Honey I don' t know how to tell you this .. |
| [10:27.131] | But if something were to happen to Ross or myself |
| [10:31.270] | you would' t get the baby |
| [10:34.088] | Well who would? |
| [10:36.338] | Well we haven' t officially asked them yet |
| [10:39.019] | But we would want Monica and Chandler |
| [10:42.753] | I can' t believe you' d want us to raise Emma |
| [10:45.474] | Oh my God. I' m so moved. |
| [10:47.689] | I don' t believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die |
| [10:49.886] | and I don' t get your baby? |
| [10:52.718] | Amy see.. we' re a lot closer to Monica and Chandler |
| [10:56.454] | We see them every day. And truthfully you don' t seem connected to the baby |
| [11:00.656] | Connected? To what? She' s a lump. |
| [11:06.992] | You know guys I' ve gotta say this means so much to me |
| [11:09.863] | I mean that you would trust me .. with your child |
| [11:14.009] | I mean we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own |
| [11:20.060] | You know. I' ve had my doubts about my skills as a father. |
| [11:23.132] | But.. that you two .. that you two.. |
| [11:29.204] | This guy? Seriously? |
| [11:37.527] | |
| [11:39.252] | Okay. It' s time for dinner |
| [11:41.477] | Everyone we' re using our fancy china and it' s very expensive. So please be careful |
| [11:48.756] | |
| [11:55.426] | Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be wellreceived. |
| [12:06.962] | Hey.. How come my plates less fancy than everyone else' s? |
| [12:13.674] | Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? |
| [12:16.560] | No honey.. That' s a special plate |
| [12:19.298] | See.. it' s a game. Whoever gets that plate wins. |
| [12:25.290] | I can' t believe I won! |
| [12:28.715] | You know this is such a slap in the face . I mean I' m your sister and you would give you baby to these strangers over me |
| [12:36.460] | Monica is Ross' sister |
| [12:39.527] | No Ross' sister was really fat. |
| [12:44.777] | That was me |
| [12:47.143] | No she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy |
| [12:51.630] | Amy you' ve got to stop doing that! |
| [12:55.946] | |
| [13:00.342] | Okay. listen I know you' re having a bit of a family crisis but you don' t have to take it out on the plates. |
| [13:06.034] | I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut the food like this.. |
| [13:15.245] | See it , this way you protect plates and let' s face it you have fun |
| [13:21.834] | Okay how about this? If you guys die .. and the crazy plate lady dies |
| [13:28.314] | Then do I get the baby? |
| [13:31.679] | No if crazy plate lady.. |
| [13:35.730] | If Monica dies then I would get Emma. Right? |
| [13:39.482] | |
| [13:42.916] | Well, actually. |
| [13:44.235] | Actually what? |
| [13:45.730] | It' s just that in that case then Emma would go to my parents |
| [13:52.938] | What ? Hurts, doesn' t it? |
| [13:57.604] | Who has to die for me to get her? |
| [14:00.599] | |
| [14:07.666] | So if Moinca' s not around I' m not good enough to raise Emma? |
| [14:11.189] | No that is not what we' re saying |
| [14:13.920] | Yeah.. he' s lying. He looked down |
| [14:17.861] | What' s wrong with me? Am I incompetent? |
| [14:20.202] | Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you |
| [14:26.819] | You' re taking this the wrong way. We think you are going to be a wonderful parent |
| [14:31.788] | It' s jus, you' re more the you know .. fun parent |
| [14:35.738] | Yeah and we wanna make sure that Emma also has someone like Monica |
| [14:41.171] | who' s more of a disciplinarian. Someone who can be firm and strict |
| [14:45.570] | That' s not how you see me , is it? |
| [14:48.451] | No you' re all about the fun |
| [14:53.719] | |
| [14:57.268] | I may not know a lot about babies but do you really think I' m not capable |
| [15:01.217] | No. You both are equally capable |
| [15:03.872] | It' s just you' re strongest when you' re together. |
| [15:06.989] | Okay, So if we both had Emma and I died, she ' d have to give her up |
| [15:13.907] | Sure, Monica would have to give he up |
| [15:16.323] | |
| [15:17.506] | I lie better than that right? |
| [15:21.225] | |
| [15:21.636] | Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die I get Emma , then my wife dies. Then Emma |
| [15:27.542] | the one tiny ray of hope left in my life.. gets taken away from me? |
| [15:31.242] | There' s your movie. |
| [15:36.057] | |
| [15:37.555] | Hey, there you are |
| [15:39.880] | You disappeared after dinner |
| [15:41.622] | Did somebody miss me? Was there a child to raise poorly? |
| [15:46.722] | Ross and Rachel don' t know what they' re saying. |
| [15:50.102] | It' s not like they' re so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a fiveyearold condom |
| [15:59.044] | No they' re right. I' m not a strong father figure, and I never will be. |
| [16:03.626] | No you learn these things. You grow into it. |
| [16:05.280] | Yeah, but it' s not who I am |
| [16:07.193] | Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. It' s true. |
| [16:11.994] | And look everybody knows it |
| [16:13.681] | I don' t know it |
| [16:15.425] | I wanna have a kid with you because I think you' ll be an amazing dad. |
| [16:19.257] | At the fun parts and at the hard parts |
| [16:22.712] | Well can you picture me saying " Go to your room you' re grounded"? |
| [16:25.878] | Can you hear me say" You' re grounded"? |
| [16:28.492] | You said that to me last week |
| [16:32.631] | How hard is it?" No shoes on the furniture!" |
| [16:38.080] | |
| [16:41.629] | The producer from Davs left a message asking why I wasn' t at the parade |
| [16:47.464] | They said everybody' s really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa! |
| [16:53.031] | It' s okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you. |
| [16:55.577] | It' s easy to remember and it doesn' t invite a lot of questions. |
| [16:59.299] | You weren' t at the parade because you had family emergency |
| [17:03.562] | I like that! Yeah |
| [17:06.528] | I wasn' t at the parade because I had a family emergency. |
| [17:09.368] | What happened? |
| [17:11.466] | My sister' s raccoon came.. No nothing with a raccoon! |
| [17:16.777] | |
| [17:17.649] | Wait.. what are you doing? setting the table |
| [17:19.837] | We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert, too |
| [17:24.248] | How nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. |
| [17:35.417] | Hey dude you okay? |
| [17:36.878] | Sorry about before |
| [17:37.927] | That' s okay. You' re totally right I don' t know anything about disciplining a child. |
| [17:42.334] | But it did hurt my feelings. And I want you to know that if I died .. you don' t get joey |
| [17:53.089] | |
| [18:02.769] | In case you hadn' t noticed I' m not talking to you |
| [18:08.250] | You know.. this is just.. This is classic Rachel |
| [18:11.060] | Oh yeah right. Remember in high school when I died and didn' t give you my baby? |
| [18:18.298] | This might be my one chance to have a child Rachel |
| [18:22.336] | I mean you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career |
| [18:24.168] | What career? I' m a decorator |
| [18:28.635] | You decorate Dad' s office and now you' re a decorator? |
| [18:32.269] | okay I went to the zoo yesterday. Now I' m a koala bear. |
| [18:39.927] | Why can' t you ever be supportive? |
| [18:42.018] | You wanna talk supportive? |
| [18:43.872] | You didn' t come and visit me when I was in hospital having the baby! |
| [18:48.004] | You didn' t come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done! |
| [18:53.391] | I did the first time |
| [18:57.980] | You know what? You wanna know why I am not giving Emily to you? |
| [19:01.076] | Emma |
| [19:01.605] | Whose side are you on?! |
| [19:05.418] | I' m not giving you Emma because you can' t handle the responsibility of a child. |
| [19:10.147] | Well how hard could it be? You do it |
| [19:17.915] | You wanna know why you don' t want me to have the baby? |
| [19:21.255] | Because you don' t want me to be happy |
| [19:23.707] | You have always been jealous of me |
| [19:26.061] | Jealous of what? |
| [19:27.494] | Of you lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? your total disregard for other people' s feelings? |
| [19:34.673] | To name a few |
| [19:38.942] | You know. You' ve always been like this. You had to have everything. |
| [19:40.906] | and I couldn' t have anything. |
| [19:44.478] | Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean do you even realize how much that hurt me? |
| [19:50.722] | Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with hime! |
| [19:53.191] | Come on that was 20 years ago |
| [19:54.340] | Get over it |
| [19:56.943] | I cannot believe that I invited you here today! |
| [19:59.877] | Yeah well you know what I cannot believe |
| [20:01.705] | That my socalled sister |
| [20:03.808] | Gets a 30 percent discount from Ralph Lauren. |
| [20:06.693] | and I still have to pay retail? |
| [20:10.161] | It' s 45. |
| [20:14.193] | You bitch |
| [20:18.541] | You just think you' re so perfect with your new baby and your small apartment |
| [20:26.043] | Well let me tell you something. |
| [20:28.297] | Your baby isn' t even that cute |
| [20:32.447] | Too far Amy. Too far |
| [20:38.279] | |
| [20:40.183] | Take it back. No what are you gonna do ? Make me? |
| [20:41.329] | Hey man I work out! |
| [20:47.679] | So do I |
| [20:48.591] | I do Pilates |
| [20:49.560] | I do yoga. |
| [20:50.651] | Bring it on! |
| [20:55.744] | Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes! |
| [20:57.831] | Did you just push me? Yeah I think I did |
| [21:00.000] | All right that' s it. |
| [21:01.411] | Forget the bubble wrap! There isn' t time! |
| [21:12.858] | Oh my god. Shouldn' t we stop this? |
| [21:15.195] | Are you out of your mind? Let' s throw some jellO on them! |
| [21:36.733] | All right that is it! This our apartment and you cannot behave this way! |
| [21:41.880] | If you can' t act your age you shouldn' t be here at all |
| [21:44.566] | Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out. |
| [21:50.070] | but they' re very important to Monica. |
| [21:52.000] | And I want you to apologize to her, now |
| [21:55.598] | I' m sorry. Mon, I' m so sorry |
| [21:58.753] | Okay That' s better |
| [22:00.293] | Now I want you to apologize to each other and mean it |
| [22:03.809] | Sorry. Sorry |
| [22:06.140] | By the way that fight was totally arousing |
| [22:13.753] | Dude. Well done. If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies. you can totally take care of Emma. |
| [22:22.118] | Yeah, well thanks. |
| [22:24.336] | So.. so now do I get Joey? |
| [22:28.808] | Okay . but you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose. |
| [22:38.903] | Are you okay? mon? |
| [22:41.109] | I mean these things happen. |
| [22:43.237] | I means it' s just a plate. It' s not somebody died |
| [22:47.072] | It' s all right. You can mourn |
| [22:49.145] | Thank you. It was so beautiful |
| [22:55.369] | I' m gonna go to Joey' s and get the pies. |
| [22:57.408] | Actually not pies. It' s just a pie |
| [23:02.751] | I don' t care |
| [23:05.013] | Oh my god. I' ve lost the will to scold |
| [23:12.962] | Look Amy.. |
| [23:15.315] | We got a little.. a little out of control over there |
| [23:20.687] | And I' m sorry. You are my sister and if it really means that much to you |
| [23:28.028] | So you' re gonna give me the baby? |
| [23:29.839] | No I was.. I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount |
| [23:35.308] | You are not gonna regret this |
| [23:41.740] | She needs changing. |
| [23:42.723] | No no no . I' ll get her |
| [23:44.907] | I am super confident , totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma |
| [23:49.222] | I' ll be right there, Emma |
| [23:50.356] | Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. |
| [23:59.134] | Well. what do you know? I guess I' ll be the one who dies first |
| [24:18.679] | Does Monica know about you breaking her plates yet? |
| [24:20.642] | Nope |
| [24:21.509] | Broke them all, huh? Yep |
| [24:23.059] | You gonna tell her? Nope |
| [24:27.624] | Hey . So I' m gonna put the plates back |
| [24:31.052] | I think you' re right. We shouldn' t use these plates for a long time |
| [24:34.479] | Like only if the queen comes? |
| [24:35.934] | Maybe not even then. |
| [24:39.196] | Hey I did it |
| [24:40.643] | I told my producer I had a family emergency. He totally bought it |
| [24:44.855] | Thanks for teaching me how to lie Phebs |
| [24:46.227] | No problem. Next week, stealing |
| [24:50.791] | Bye plates |
| [24:51.908] | You told her you broke all the plates? |
| [24:55.968] | What? Something happened with the plates? |
| [25:00.133] | Yeah.. this raccoon came in.. |
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