[00:04.57] |
Hey! You' re not gonna believe this. kuài kàn, nǐ men yí dìng bù xìn |
[00:06.84] |
Yes, Ross, we know they have magazines with pictures of naked women in them. shì de, wǒ men zhī dào nà lǐ miàn yǒu luǒ nǚ de zhào piān |
[00:11.41] |
Don' t tell him about the videos! gào sù tā hái yǒu chū lù yǐng dài |
[00:14.91] |
I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. wǒ biān le yī zé xiào huà jì dào huā huā gōng zǐ |
[00:17.91] |
They printed it. jié guǒ dēng chū lái le |
[00:21.82] |
I didn' t know they print jokes. wǒ bù zhī dào huā huā gōng zǐ yě dēng xiào huà |
[00:24.05] |
They print jokes, interviews, hardhitting journalism. tā men yǒu xiào huà zhuān fǎng zhā shí xīn wén bào dǎo |
[00:27.02] |
It' s not just about the pictures. bìng fēi zhǐ yǒu tú piàn |
[00:29.06] |
Didn' t work on Mom, it' s not gonna work on us. mā bù chī zhè tào, wǒ men yě bù chī |
[00:32.59] |
Check it out. It' s the first one. nǐ men kàn, hái shì dì yī zé |
[00:36.30] |
Right there. yòu biān zhè ér |
[00:40.24] |
That is funny. zhēn hǎo xiào |
[00:41.74] |
It was also funny when I made it up. wǒ biān chū lái shí yě hěn hǎo xiào |
[00:46.01] |
What? I made that joke up. shén me? zhè zé xiào huà shì wǒ biān de |
[00:48.18] |
No, you didn' t. I did. bú shì nǐ, shì wǒ |
[00:50.28] |
Yes, I did. I told Dan and he said it was the funniest joke he' d ever heard. shì wǒ, wǒ shuō gěi gōng sī de dān tīng tā shuō zhè shì tā tīng guò zuì hǎo xiào de xiào huà |
[00:55.02] |
Hey, tell Dan thanks. bāng wǒ xiè xiè dān |
[01:01.52] |
What? zěn yàng? |
[01:02.79] |
I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. bào qiàn, wǒ zài kàn xià miàn nà zé xiào huà nà zé hěn hǎo xiào |
[01:08.96] |
Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right? mó nī kǎ, nǐ jì de wǒ gēn nǐ shuō guò nà zé xiào huà ba? |
[01:12.63] |
No. Seriously? bù jì de zhēn de bù jì de? |
[01:14.70] |
You tell a lot of jokes. nǐ de xiào huà yī dà duī |
[01:18.37] |
Look, it' s my joke. qián dé, nà shi wǒ de xiào huà |
[01:19.81] |
But if it makes you feel better, they don' t print the name. bù guò tā men méi yǒu yìn tóu gǎo rén |
[01:23.48] |
So it doesn' t really matter who gets credit. suǒ yǐ shì shuí de bìng bù zhòng yào, duì ba? |
[01:26.11] |
Yeah, I guess. dà gài ba |
[01:27.65] |
Hey, guys. Playboy printed my joke! nǐ men hǎo qiáo yī, huā huā gōng zǐ dēng le wǒ de xiào huà |
[01:30.22] |
No, it' s mine! Call them! They' ll tell you! bù, nà shi wǒ de xiào huà nǐ dǎ qù wèn jiù zhī dào |
[01:33.32] |
My joke! My joke! nà shi wǒ de xiào huà shì wǒ de |
[01:34.66] |
Whoa, whoa, whoa! |
[01:36.29] |
Jokes? What...? xiào huà? |
[01:38.29] |
You know there' s naked chicks in there, right? nǐ men zhī dào zhè shàng miàn yǒu luǒ nǚ ba? |
[01:43.20] |
The One With The Joke běn jí bō chū:" shuí shì xiào huà guàn jūn" |
[00:00.00] |
|
[02:21.27] |
Dude! You have got to turn on Behind The Music. kuài, gǎn kuài zhuǎn dào" yīn yuè nèi mù" |
[02:24.27] |
The band Heart is having a tough time and they may break up. hóng xīn hé chàng tuán zhuàng kuàng bǎi chū kě néng huì jiě sàn |
[02:28.11] |
Let' s watch that at your place. wǒ men qù nǐ jiā kàn |
[02:30.28] |
Monica' s watching a show. I don' t want to miss when they were skinny. bù xíng, mó nī kǎ zài kàn pēng rèn jié mù kuài diǎn, wǒ xiǎng kàn tā men shòu de shí hòu |
[02:34.38] |
Hey, Chandler? You know what we should do? qián dé, nǐ zhī dào ma? |
[02:37.22] |
You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses. wǒ men yīng gāi qù mǎi xīn mò jìng |
[02:41.16] |
What? No, I want to watch this. shén me? bú yào, wǒ xiǎng kàn diàn shì |
[02:46.29] |
Did your cable go out? No. No, that' s VH1. nǐ de dì sì tái duàn xiàn le ma? bú shì, nà shi VH1 |
[02:50.33] |
I tell you, the music these kids listen to today... xiàn zài de xiǎo péng yǒu tīng de yīn yuè... |
[02:53.30] |
it' s a lot of noise to me. jiǎn zhí shì zào yīn |
[02:57.47] |
Why is your cable out? qiáo yī, dì sì tái wèi shí me méi le? |
[02:59.41] |
Oh, because I haven' t really paid the bill. yīn wèi wǒ méi jiǎo qián |
[03:03.08] |
If you need money, would you please let me loan you some? nǐ ruò quē qián, bài tuō ràng wǒ jiè nǐ hǎo ma |
[03:06.58] |
No, Chandler. Forget about it, okay? bú yào, nǐ bié zài shuō le |
[03:09.18] |
I know things have been tight since Janine moved out. God, was she hot. wǒ zhī dào jí níng zǒu hòu, wǒ yǒu diǎn chī jǐn tiān na, tā kě zhēn là |
[03:13.96] |
I know, yeah. jiù shì a |
[03:15.46] |
Look, I can handle it, all right? I can listen to the radio. dàn shì wǒ kě yǐ yìng fù, hǎo ma? wǒ kě yǐ tīng guǎng bō |
[03:19.63] |
And Ross gave me this great book. luó sī yě gěi le wǒ yī běn hěn bàng de shū |
[03:23.46] |
Want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch at his place? yào bú yào wèn nà gè xiào huà xiǎo tōu wǒ men néng bù néng qù tā jiā kàn? |
[03:27.34] |
Sure. hǎo a |
[03:30.71] |
Paid your phone bill? No. diàn huà fèi yǒu jiǎo ma? méi zěn me zài jiǎo |
[03:42.35] |
It' s only you. yuán lái shì nǐ |
[03:44.79] |
What are you doing? Looking at a Playboy. nǐ men zài kàn shén me? wǒ men zài kàn huā huā gōng zǐ |
[03:47.69] |
I want to look too! wǒ yě xiǎng kàn |
[03:52.06] |
Yikes! hào wù |
[03:55.00] |
Do you think these pictures are trying to tell a story? zhèi xiē zhào piān shì yǒu gù shì xìng ma? |
[03:58.97] |
Sure. Like in the case of this young woman... dāng rán yǒu, xiàng zhè wèi nián qīng xiǎo jiě |
[04:01.90] |
she has lost her clothes. tā de yī fú bú jiàn le |
[04:04.37] |
So she rides naked on the horse, she' s crying out, " Where are they?" suǒ yǐ tā guāng liū liū de qí zhe mǎ dà hǎn " wǒ de yī fú ne?" |
[04:10.65] |
She' s not gonna find them, lying in the grass like that. guāng tǎng zài cǎo dì shàng shì zhǎo bu dào de |
[04:18.69] |
Remember the days when you' d go out to the barn... jì bù jì de yǐ qián qù gǔ cāng |
[04:21.49] |
Lift up your shirt and bend over? xiān qǐ yī fú qiào qǐ pì gǔ de rì zi? |
[04:27.76] |
You see, now, I would date this girl. bù guò wǒ huì yuē zhè gè nǚ shēng |
[04:31.10] |
She' s cute, she' s outdoorsy. tā hěn kě ài, hěn yáng guāng |
[04:34.04] |
And she knows how to build a fire. That' ll come in handy. ér qiě tā huì shēng huǒ, kě yǐ pài shàng yòng chǎng |
[04:37.87] |
I got a question. wǒ yǒu yí gè wèn tí |
[04:39.27] |
If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be? rú guǒ yào zài wǒ men dāng zhōng tiāo nǚ péng yǒu nǐ men huì tiāo shuí? |
[04:43.71] |
I don' t know. Me neither. bù zhī dào wǒ yě bù zhī dào |
[04:45.58] |
Rachel. ruì qiū |
[04:48.08] |
What? shén me? |
[04:50.72] |
I don' t know. bù zhī dào |
[04:53.39] |
Me neither. wǒ yě bù zhī dào |
[04:58.53] |
You know, you forget how many great songs Heart had. wǒ dōu wàng le hóng xīn hé chàng tuán yǒu nà me duō jīng diǎn |
[05:04.37] |
" Barracuda" was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard. " Barracuda" shì wǒ liàn jiàn pán xué de dì yī shǒu gē |
[05:09.30] |
So you heard it, you repeated it... nǐ tīng guò, dàn guò |
[05:12.24] |
so that must mean you wrote it. suǒ yǐ nà shǒu gē shì nǐ xiě de luó? |
[05:16.98] |
You guys with this joke. Well, I gotta say... nǐ men zěn me hái zhēng a? lǎo shí shuō |
[05:20.05] |
I know I cracked up, but I' m not even sure I got it. wǒ yǒu dà xiào, dàn shì wǒ kàn bù tài dǒng |
[05:23.22] |
What? shén me? |
[05:25.15] |
You didn' t get it? nǐ kàn bu dǒng? |
[05:26.65] |
The doctor is a monkey. nà gè yī shēng shì zhǐ hóu zi |
[05:30.49] |
And monkeys can' t write out prescriptions. hóu zi méi bàn fǎ kāi chǔ fāng |
[05:35.63] |
You are not allowed to laugh at my joke. wǒ de xiào huà bù zhǔn nǐ xiào |
[05:39.17] |
Your joke? nǐ de xiào huà? |
[05:40.80] |
Well, I think the Hef would disagree. hǎi fū nà kě bù tóng yì huā huā gōng zǐ chuàng bàn rén |
[05:43.97] |
Which is why he sent me a check... suǒ yǐ tā jì le zhè zhāng zhī piào gěi wǒ |
[05:46.47] |
for 100. 100 měi yuán |
[05:48.91] |
So you stole my joke and you stole my money? nǐ tōu wǒ de xiào huà, hái tōu wǒ de qián |
[05:52.58] |
I was gonna stick it in the ATM. wǒ běn lái yào yà jìn guì yuán jī lǐ |
[05:54.78] |
But now I think I' ll show the sexy teller... xiàn zài wǒ jué dìng ràng nà wèi xìng gǎn nǚ guì yuán |
[05:57.92] |
that I am a published writer. zhī dào wǒ shì gè zuò jiā |
[06:00.96] |
She' ll know that you stole the joke. tā huì zhī dào nǐ shì tōu lái de |
[06:03.42] |
You gonna follow me there? nǐ xiǎng zěn yàng, gēn zhe wǒ qù ma? |
[06:05.13] |
Yeah. I' m not gonna go now. méi cuò fǎn zhèng wǒ xiàn zài yòu bù qù |
[06:07.16] |
Okay. hǎo |
[06:11.27] |
Here you go. zhàng dān |
[06:15.80] |
Gunther? ā gān |
[06:17.54] |
I can' t pay now, because I' m not working. wǒ xiàn zài bù néng fù wǒ méi gōng zuò |
[06:20.27] |
I' ve had to cut down on some luxuries like... dé jié shěng bù bì yào de kāi xiāo |
[06:23.11] |
paying for stuff, so.... xiàng fù zhàng zhī lèi de |
[06:27.28] |
Well, if you want, you can work here. nǐ kě yǐ lái zhè lǐ gōng zuò |
[06:30.18] |
I don' t know. wǒ bù xiǎo de |
[06:31.65] |
It' s just.... |
[06:33.39] |
See, I was a regular on a soap opera, you know? wǒ yǎn guò lián xù jù |
[06:36.86] |
And to go from that to this, it' s just.... cóng míng xīng dào fú wù shēng, wǒ shí zài |
[06:40.06] |
And plus, I' d have to wait on all my friends. ér qiě hái dé zhāo hū wǒ de péng yǒu |
[06:43.20] |
Okay. But the money' s good. hǎo, dàn xīn shuǐ hěn gāo |
[06:45.07] |
Plus, you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want. hái kě yǐ kàn ruì qiū kàn gè gòu |
[06:50.57] |
What? shén me? |
[06:52.07] |
Flexible hours. tán xìng gōng zuò shí jiān |
[06:55.41] |
Maybe I could be a waiter. yě xǔ kě yǐ ō |
[06:57.48] |
Could I use the phone? kě yǐ yòng diàn huà ma? |
[07:06.19] |
She picked Rachel. tā xuǎn ruì qiū |
[07:07.69] |
She tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel. tā xiǎng gǎi kǒu dàn shì hěn míng xiǎn, tā xuǎn ruì qiū |
[07:12.59] |
He took my joke. He just took it. tā tōu le wǒ de xiào huà |
[07:16.26] |
This is wrong. You know what else is wrong? zhè yàng shì bú duì de hái yǒu shén me shì bú duì de? |
[07:19.17] |
Phoebe picking Rachel. fēi bǐ xuǎn le ruì qiū |
[07:21.17] |
Know who else picked Rachel? Ross. hái yǒu shuí huì xuǎn ruì qiū? |
[07:23.24] |
Know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. luó sī, luó sī hái zuò le shén me? tā tōu le wǒ de xiào huà |
[07:27.74] |
I' m gonna get a joke journal, you know? wǒ yào mǎi yī běn xiào huà rì zhì |
[07:30.38] |
And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes. jì lù wǒ měi cì jiǎng xiào huà de rì qī shí jiān |
[07:34.02] |
Good idea. Know what' s a bad idea? hǎo zhǔ yì nǐ zhī dào shén me zhǔ yì bù hǎo? |
[07:36.55] |
Picking Rachel. That' s right. xuǎn zé ruì qiū méi cuò |
[07:41.59] |
Did you hear something? shén me shēng yīn? |
[07:43.26] |
Maybe it' s the sound of Ross climbing into my brain to steal my thoughts. yě xǔ shì luó sī pá jìn wǒ de nǎo dài qiè qǔ wǒ de sī xù |
[07:48.10] |
It' s coming from the living room. shì kè tīng chuán lái de |
[07:56.57] |
I finished my book. wǒ de shū kàn wán le |
[08:05.55] |
Hey, you guys. Hey. nǐ men hǎo |
[08:08.25] |
Don' t you guys look cute. nǐ men hǎo kě ài |
[08:10.79] |
You guys make a cute couple. zhēn shì kě ài de yī duì |
[08:14.16] |
What are you doing? mó nī kǎ, nǐ zài gàn ma? |
[08:15.82] |
Just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place. méi shén me wǒ zhǐ shì xiǎng zhì zào chū qián liǎng tiān de lè qù |
[08:20.16] |
Remember? When you picked Rachel over me? jiù shì nǐ xuǎn ruì qiū bù xuǎn wǒ nà cì |
[08:22.63] |
That was funny. duō hǎo wán a |
[08:25.40] |
It was kind of funny. It wasn' t funny at all! shì mán hǎo wán de yì diǎn yě bù hǎo wán |
[08:29.57] |
Why would you do that? nǐ wèi shí me xuǎn tā? |
[08:31.44] |
Why didn' t you pick me? wèi shí me bù xuǎn wǒ? |
[08:33.61] |
Fine. hǎo |
[08:35.28] |
The reason I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you... wǒ zhī suǒ yǐ bǐ jiào qīng xiàng ruì qiū |
[08:39.48] |
is just, you know, you' re... shì yīn wèi nǐ |
[08:42.02] |
high maintenance. Let' s go to lunch! yǒu diǎn nán gǎo wǒ men qù chī fàn ba |
[08:44.42] |
That is completely untrue. nǎ yǒu zhè huí shì |
[08:47.02] |
You think I' m high maintenance? Prove it. nǐ jué de wǒ nán gǎo? zhèng míng gěi wǒ kàn |
[08:49.62] |
You write out a list, and we' ll go through it point by point. nǐ liè yī zhāng qīng dān wǒ men zhú tiáo tǎo lùn |
[08:55.36] |
No, you' re right, you' re easygoing. nǐ shuō de duì, nǐ hěn hǎo xiāng chǔ |
[08:59.33] |
You' re just not as easygoing as Rachel. She' s just more... nǐ zhǐ shì méi yǒu ruì qiū nà me hǎo xiāng chǔ tā bǐ jiào... |
[09:03.27] |
flexible and mellow. That' s all. yǒu tán xìng, bǐ jiào yuán róng |
[09:08.94] |
Well, people are different. měi ge rén dōu bù yí yàng |
[09:12.21] |
Rachel will do whatever you want. You can just walk all over her. ruì qiū shén me dōu hǎo zěn me qī fù tā dōu xíng |
[09:17.39] |
What? Are you saying that I' m a pushover? I' m not a pushover. màn zhe, nǐ shì shuō wǒ méi gè xìng ma? wǒ cái méi yǒu |
[09:21.62] |
Oh, okay. You' re not a pushover. hǎo, nǐ yǒu gè xìng |
[09:26.29] |
You think I' m a pushover. Well, watch this. tiān na, nǐ jué de wǒ méi gè xìng nǐ tīng zhe |
[09:29.36] |
You' re not invited to lunch! wǒ men bù gēn nǐ chī fàn le |
[09:31.47] |
What do you think? Pretty strong, I think. zěn me yàng? gòu qiáng yìng le ba? |
[09:34.24] |
Come on, Monica, let' s go to lunch. mó nī kǎ, wǒ men qù chī fàn |
[09:38.67] |
You start working on that list. bǎ qīng dān liè chū lái |
[09:42.64] |
I cannot believe her. I know. Where do you want to eat? tā zhēn shì tài chě le jiù shì a, nǐ xiǎng chī shén me? |
[09:47.25] |
Oh, I love that Japanese place. I' m sick of Japanese. Not there. wǒ hěn xǐ huān nà jiā rì běn liào lǐ wǒ chī nì rì běn cài le, bú yào qù nà jiā |
[09:51.32] |
Wherever you want to go is cool. nà kàn nǐ xiǎng qù nǎ lǐ |
[09:58.76] |
Oh, hey, Gunther... ā gān |
[10:00.33] |
check this out. nǐ kàn |
[10:04.57] |
Yeah, that Chandler cracks me up. nà gè qián dé zhēn de hěn hǎo xiào |
[10:11.24] |
You want anything to drink? I' m heading up there. luó sī, nǐ yào hē shén me ma? wǒ yào qù guì tái |
[10:14.61] |
I' ll take a coffee. Thanks. Sure. yào, wǒ yào kā fēi, xiè le bù kè qì |
[10:17.41] |
Coffee? No. kā fēi? bú yào |
[10:18.91] |
Coffee? I' m going up there. yào kā fēi ma? wǒ yào qù guì tái |
[10:20.68] |
No, thank you. bù yòng le xiè xiè |
[10:23.42] |
You need anything? I' m heading up there. xū yào shén me ma? wǒ yào qù guì tái |
[10:26.39] |
I' d love ice water. wǒ yào yī bēi bīng shuǐ |
[10:27.89] |
You got it. méi wèn tí |
[10:30.76] |
What are you doing? qiáo yī, nǐ zài gàn shén me? |
[10:32.36] |
Just being friendly. biǎo shì yǒu shàn a |
[10:35.93] |
You' re not supposed to go back there. qiáo yī, nǐ bù néng qù guì tái hòu miàn |
[10:38.70] |
It' s okay. Right? méi guān xì la, duì ba, ā gān? |
[10:41.90] |
Don' t wink at me. bié gēn wǒ shǐ yǎn sè |
[10:44.74] |
And put on your apron. bǎ wéi qún chuān shang |
[10:48.64] |
Okay. chuān jiù chuān |
[10:50.14] |
I don' t see you asking other paying customers to put on aprons. nǐ zěn me bù jiào qí tā kè rén chuān wéi qún |
[10:55.12] |
Joey, do you work here? No. qiáo yī, nǐ zài zhè lǐ dǎ gōng ma? méi yǒu |
[10:58.09] |
Waiter. Yeah! fú wù shēng shén me shì? |
[11:02.99] |
What' s going on? Why didn' t you tell us you work here? qiáo yī, zěn me huí shì? nǐ wèi shí me bù gào sù wǒ men? |
[11:09.40] |
It' s kind of embarrassing. I mean, I was an actor, now I' m a waiter. zhè jiàn shì mán gān gà de wǒ zhī qián shì yǎn yuán, xiàn zài shì fú wù shēng |
[11:13.83] |
It' s supposed to go the other direction. yì bān yīng gāi fǎn guò lái cái duì |
[11:16.74] |
So' s your apron. You' re wearing it like a cape. nǐ de wéi qún yě fǎn chuān chéng pī fēng le |
[11:20.78] |
I mean, the job' s easy and the money' s good, you know? zhè fèn gōng zuò hěn jiǎn dān, xīn shuǐ hěn gāo |
[11:24.11] |
I guess if I' m hanging out here, I might as well get paid for it. fǎn zhèng wǒ dōu zài zhè hùn, gān cuì zhuàn gè qián |
[11:28.28] |
I just feel kind of weird serving you guys, you know? zhǐ shì yào zhāo hū nǐ men gǎn jué hěn guài |
[11:31.82] |
It' ll be great. |
[11:33.25] |
Come on, I did it and it was fine. wǒ yě zuò guò, hái hǎo a |
[11:35.82] |
Why would it be weird? duì a, zěn me huì guài? |
[11:37.59] |
Hey, Joey? Can I get some coffee? qiáo yī, bāng wǒ duān gè kā fēi |
[11:41.73] |
It doesn' t seem that weird. què shí méi nà me guài |
[11:44.00] |
I asked before. You still haven' t gotten it. wǒ shuō zhēn de, wǒ diǎn de kā fēi hái méi lái |
[11:48.44] |
See, now it' s weird again. xiàn zài yòu biàn guài le |
[11:51.34] |
You' re gonna make a lot of money. Here' s your first tip. nǐ lái zhè lǐ gōng zuò shì hǎo shì nǐ huì zhuàn dà qián, gěi nǐ yí gè zhōng gào |
[11:56.14] |
Don' t eat yellow snow. bú yào xué huài |
[12:00.85] |
2: 15, coffeehouse. 2 diǎn 15 fēn, kā fēi guǎn |
[12:05.45] |
This is great. Finally, someone I can pass my wisdom to. tài hǎo le zǒng suàn yǒu rén néng chuán chéng wǒ de zhì huì |
[12:08.86] |
Let me tell you some things I learned working here. gào sù nǐ jǐ jiàn wǒ zài zhè lǐ xué dào de shì |
[12:12.99] |
First, the customer is always right. shǒu xiān, gù kè yǒng yuǎn shì duì de |
[12:16.26] |
A smile goes a long way. wēi xiào néng ràng nǐ wú wǎng bù lì |
[12:20.50] |
And if anyone is ever rude to you, sneeze muffin. yǒu rén duì nǐ bù kè qì jiù cháo sōng bǐng dǎ pēn tì |
[12:26.14] |
Thanks, Rach. xiè le |
[12:29.01] |
Hey, look, you guys are just terrific, you know? nǐ men duì wǒ zhēn hǎo |
[12:32.18] |
How about clearing out so I can get some new customers? yào bú yào qīng chǎng ràng bié rén jìn lái le? |
[12:35.48] |
It' s all about turnover. yǒu liú dòng cái yǒu shāng jī |
[12:40.79] |
Seriously, can I get my coffee? qiáo yī, wǒ xiǎng hē kā fēi le |
[12:44.29] |
I' m sorry. I' ll get it right now. bào qiàn, mǎ shàng lái |
[12:46.83] |
And since you waited, I' ll toss in a free muffin. wǒ sòng nǐ yí kuài sōng bǐng zuò bǔ cháng |
[12:56.07] |
Phoebe, we' d like to talk to you. fēi bǐ, wǒ men xiǎng gēn nǐ tán tán |
[12:58.67] |
Okay. hǎo |
[13:00.17] |
So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. huò xǔ wǒ shì yǒu diǎn nán gǎo |
[13:03.51] |
And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. huò xǔ ruì qiū shì yǒu diǎn méi gè xìng |
[13:06.65] |
But you know what you are? dàn nǐ zhī dào nǐ shì shén me ma? |
[13:08.55] |
We are sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky. hěn bào qiàn zhè me shuō dàn shì nǐ, fēi bǐ, shì gè guài rén |
[13:15.72] |
That' s true, I am flaky. méi cuò, wǒ shì hěn guài |
[13:19.03] |
So, what, you' re just okay with being flaky? suǒ yǐ nǐ guài yě wú suǒ wèi? |
[13:22.90] |
Yeah, totally. wán quán wú suǒ wèi |
[13:25.37] |
Then I' m okay with being high maintenance. nà wǒ nán gǎo yě wú suǒ wèi |
[13:28.10] |
Yeah. And I am okay with being a pushover. wǒ méi gè xìng yě wú suǒ wèi |
[13:31.41] |
That' s great. Good for you guys. tài hǎo le, wú suǒ wèi jiù hǎo |
[13:34.28] |
I am not high maintenance! I am not a pushover! wǒ cái bù nán gǎo wǒ cái méi yǒu méi gè xìng |
[13:38.51] |
Who said you were? You did! shuí shuō nǐ men shì le? nǐ a |
[13:40.95] |
I' m flaky. I' ll say anything. wǒ shì guài rén, zhuān mén luàn shuō huà |
[13:49.56] |
Hey, Gunther. ā gān |
[13:51.06] |
Can you cover for me? I got an audition. bāng wǒ dǎng yī xià, wǒ jiē dào shì jìng tōng zhī |
[13:53.76] |
No, I' m leaving to get my hair dyed. bù xíng, wǒ yào qù rǎn tóu fà |
[13:58.10] |
I like your natural color. shì ma? wǒ xǐ huān nǐ de zì rán sè |
[14:02.47] |
It' s a great part. I' m the lead guy' s best friend. bài tuō la, zhè shì gè hǎo jué sè wǒ yǎn nán zhǔ jué de sǐ dǎng |
[14:06.14] |
I wait for him and save his seat. Listen. zài jiǔ bā bāng tā zhàn wèi zi, nǐ tīng |
[14:09.48] |
" I' m sorry, that seat' s saved." bào qiàn, zhè gè wèi zi yǒu rén |
[14:13.98] |
That' s the whole part? Maybe he' s not his best friend. jiù zhè yàng? huò xǔ bú shì tā de sǐ dǎng, dàn shì |
[14:18.42] |
I' ll see you. 1 xiǎo shí hòu jiàn |
[14:20.89] |
Oh, man. |
[14:22.66] |
I could totally get that part. " I' m sorry, this seat is taken." wǒ jué duì néng ná dào nà gè jué sè bào qiàn, zhè gè wèi zi yǒu rén |
[14:26.73] |
Excuse me. No, I didn' t mean you. bào qiàn bù, wǒ bú shì shuō nǐ |
[14:30.26] |
But you believed me? dàn nǐ yǐ wéi shì zhēn de ba? |
[14:32.43] |
I believed you were saving this seat for someone. wǒ yǐ wéi nǐ zài bāng bié rén zhàn wèi |
[14:36.40] |
So you' d hire me, right? suǒ yǐ nǐ huì yòng wǒ luó? |
[14:39.01] |
For what? yòng nǐ gàn ma? |
[14:41.41] |
Exactly! All right, everybody listen up! jiù shì shuō ma gè wèi qǐng zhù yì |
[14:44.31] |
The coffeehouse will be closed for about an hour. běn diàn yào zàn tíng yíng yè 1 xiǎo shí |
[14:47.35] |
What? shén me? |
[14:49.92] |
It' s for the kids. hǎo bāng zhù hái zi men |
[14:51.52] |
Yeah, to keep the kids off drugs. bāng zhù tā men yuǎn lí dú pǐn |
[14:54.52] |
It' s a very important issue in this month' s Playboy. zhè shì běn qī huā huā gōng zǐ de zhòng yào bào dǎo |
[14:58.33] |
I' m sure you all read about it. gè wèi yí dìng dōu kàn guò |
[15:03.36] |
Hey! Don' t you wanna keep guns away from kids? nǐ bù xiǎng ràng hái zi men yuǎn lí qiāng zhī ma? |
[15:06.57] |
You said," drugs." It' s a vicious cycle. Get out! nǐ gāng cái shuō dú pǐn zhè shì è xìng xún huán, gǔn la |
[15:12.57] |
Go! kuài diǎn |
[15:25.89] |
It' s my joke. It' s my joke. nà shi wǒ de xiào huà shì wǒ de |
[15:31.33] |
It' s my joke. shì wǒ de |
[15:34.70] |
I don' t think we' re gonna settle this. wǒ men zài chǎo yě chǎo bù chū jié guǒ |
[15:38.17] |
Let' s have Monica decide. ràng mó nī kǎ jué dìng ba |
[15:40.57] |
Hey, Mon! Get out here! xiǎo mèi qīn ài de, chū lái yī xià |
[15:42.40] |
Monica? Okay. mó nī kǎ |
[15:44.57] |
You have to decide whose joke this is. nǐ lái jué dìng zhè gè xiào huà shì shuí de |
[15:47.14] |
Why do I have to? wèi shí me yào wǒ jué dìng? |
[15:48.38] |
You' re the only one that can be fair. yīn wèi nǐ cái néng kè guān gōng zhèng |
[15:50.81] |
I can' t be. You' re my boyfriend. wǒ bù néng, nǐ shì wǒ de nán péng yǒu |
[15:52.88] |
But I' m your brother. We' re family. dàn wǒ shì nǐ gē ge, wǒ men shì jiā rén |
[15:55.25] |
That' s the most important thing in the world. shì shàng zuì zhòng yào de jiù shì qīn qíng |
[16:01.06] |
Don' t try to sway her. bú yào xiǎng zuǒ yòu tā |
[16:03.19] |
I' m your only chance to have a baby. zhǐ yǒu wǒ néng ràng nǐ shēng xiǎo hái |
[16:09.93] |
Okay, let' s go. All right. wǒ men kāi shǐ ba hǎo |
[16:11.67] |
We' ll each tell you how we came up with the joke... wǒ men huì shuō chū zhè gè xiào huà de yóu lái |
[16:15.54] |
then you decide which one of us is telling the truth. Me. nǐ zài jué dìng shuí shuō de shì shí huà shì wǒ |
[16:20.17] |
Chandler, you first. qián dé, nǐ xiān |
[16:21.68] |
I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve. hǎo, wǒ shì 2 gè yuè qián gēn shǐ tí fū chī fàn shí xiǎng dào de |
[16:25.28] |
Did I meet him at Christmas? Can I finish? jiù shì shèng dàn jié nà jiā huǒ ma? ràng wǒ shuō wán hǎo ma? |
[16:28.05] |
You want me to pick you? nǐ yào wǒ xuǎn nǐ ma? |
[16:30.75] |
See, I would never snap at you like that. wǒ jué duì bú huì nà yàng xiōng nǐ |
[16:35.92] |
Two babies. |
[16:42.36] |
Continue. Okay. qǐng jì xù |
[16:43.80] |
Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And his doctor' s name is Dr. Mompey. shǐ tí fū shuō tā qù kàn yī shēng tā de yī shēng xìng hóu qí |
[16:48.80] |
I said, " Dr. Monkey?" And that is how the whole Dr. Monkey thing came up. wǒ shuō" hóu zi yī shēng?" suǒ yǐ cái huì yǒu hóu zi yī shēng zhè gè xiào huà |
[16:58.21] |
Are you kidding? nǐ kāi shén me wán xiào |
[17:00.48] |
Okay, look, I study evolution. wǒ shì xué jìn huà lùn de |
[17:03.15] |
Remember? Evolution. jì de ba? jìn huà lùn |
[17:04.82] |
Monkey into man. hóu zi jìn huà chéng rén |
[17:06.62] |
Plus, I' m a doctor. And... kuàng qiě wǒ shì bó shì |
[17:08.56] |
I had a monkey. wǒ hái yǎng guò hóu zi |
[17:13.73] |
I' m Dr. Monkey! wǒ shì hóu zi bó shì |
[17:18.40] |
I' m not arguing with that. zhè diǎn wǒ bù gēn nǐ zhēng |
[17:21.07] |
I' ve heard enough for my decision. hǎo, kě yǐ le, wǒ jué dìng hǎo le |
[17:23.34] |
Okay, so what..? Do tell. nà shi?? |
[17:25.17] |
You are both idiots. nǐ men liǎng gè dōu shì bái chī |
[17:29.01] |
It' s not funny. And it' s offensive to women. nà gè xiào huà bù dàn bù hǎo xiào hái mào fàn le nǚ xìng |
[17:31.85] |
And doctors. And monkeys. hái yǒu yī shēng, hái yǒu hóu zi |
[17:35.45] |
You shouldn' t argue over who gets credit. nǐ men bù gāi zhēng xiào huà shì shuí de |
[17:37.79] |
You should argue over who gets blamed for inflicting this joke on the world. yīng gāi zhēng shì shuí ràng zhè shì jiè shòu zhè zhǒng zuì |
[17:42.92] |
Now, let it go. bié zài zhēng le |
[17:44.49] |
The joke sucks. nà gè xiào huà làn tòu le |
[17:52.30] |
It' s your joke. It is not. nà shi nǐ de xiào huà cái bú shì |
[18:09.55] |
Oh, my God, Chandler, there you are. Hi. qián dé, nǐ zài zhè lǐ |
[18:13.79] |
Hey, it' s Phoebe and Rachel. shì fēi bǐ hé ruì qiū |
[18:16.12] |
Why don' t you tell them... nǐ yào bú yào gào sù tā men |
[18:17.66] |
what you told me about me not being high maintenance. nǐ gāng cái shuō wǒ bìng bù nán gǎo? |
[18:24.00] |
Monica is a selfsufficient, together lady. mó nī kǎ shì gè zì xìn chén zhuó de nǚ xìng |
[18:29.70] |
Being with her has been like being on a vacation. gēn tā zài yì qǐ jiù xiàng zài dù jià |
[18:35.14] |
And what may be perceived as high maintenance... zhì yú suǒ wèi de nán gǎo |
[18:38.21] |
is merely attention to detail... zhǐ shì zhù zhòng xiǎo xì jié... |
[18:41.01] |
and... hé |
[18:43.52] |
generosity of spirit. xīn líng de kāng kǎi |
[18:47.69] |
Wow. You know what? That is the best fake speech I think I' ve ever heard. zhè zhēn shì wǒ suǒ tīng guò zuì bàng de jiǎ huà |
[18:52.66] |
Really? I' ve heard better. zhēn de? wǒ tīng guò gèng bàng de |
[18:55.40] |
Wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them. děng děng, nà shi tā zì jǐ shuō de nǐ gào sù tā men |
[18:59.77] |
I' m out of words. Should I say it again? wǒ yǐ jīng cí qióng le kě yǐ chóng fù jiù hǎo ma? |
[19:02.07] |
Look, I am not high maintenance! wǒ yì diǎn yě bù nán gǎo |
[19:04.27] |
I am not. Chandler! qián dé |
[19:08.78] |
You' re a little high maintenance. nǐ shì yǒu diǎn nán gǎo |
[19:11.58] |
You are on my list! nǐ shàng hēi míng dān le |
[19:14.85] |
Look, I' m sorry, but you' re not.. duì bù qǐ bù guò... |
[19:17.05] |
You' re not easygoing, but you' re passionate. nǐ bìng bù hǎo xiāng chǔ dàn nǐ hěn rè qíng |
[19:20.09] |
And that' s good. zhè yàng hěn hǎo |
[19:21.59] |
And when you get upset about little things, I think I' m pretty good... dāng nǐ wèi xiǎo shì bù gāo xìng shí wǒ jué de... |
[19:25.73] |
at making you feel better. wǒ mán néng ān fǔ nǐ de |
[19:27.79] |
That' s good too. They say you' re high maintenance... nà yàng yě hěn hǎo suǒ yǐ tā men shuō nǐ nán gǎo yě xíng |
[19:30.96] |
but it' s okay, because I like... yīn wèi wǒ xǐ huān |
[19:35.30] |
maintaining you. gǎo dìng nǐ |
[19:45.55] |
I didn' t tell him that. wǒ méi jiào tā shuō zhèi xiē |
[19:51.29] |
You' re off my list. I' m off the list. nǐ cóng hēi míng dān chú míng le wǒ chú míng le |
[19:54.42] |
Phoebe? fēi bǐ |
[19:56.89] |
It' s okay that you don' t want me to be your girlfriend. nǐ bù zhǎo wǒ dāng nǚ péng yǒu yě méi guān xì |
[20:00.29] |
I have the best boyfriend. yīn wèi wǒ yǒu zuì bàng de nán péng yǒu |
[20:03.43] |
You know, suddenly I find you very attractive. wǒ tū rán jué de nǐ hǎo mí rén |
[20:10.14] |
How' d the audition go? xiōng dì, shì jìng jié guǒ rú hé? |
[20:11.91] |
Oh, not good. No. bù hǎo |
[20:13.47] |
I didn' t get the part. And I lost my job here, so... wǒ méi ná dào nà gè jué sè zhè lǐ de gōng zuò yě méi le, suǒ yǐ |
[20:17.41] |
Wow, that is a bad audition. hǎo cǎn liè de shì jìng |
[20:21.52] |
Well, how did you lose your job here? zhè lǐ de gōng zuò wéi shén me méi le? |
[20:24.28] |
I had the audition... wǒ yào qù shì jìng |
[20:25.79] |
but Gunther said I had to stay so he could get his hair dyed. dàn ā gān jiào wǒ gù diàn tā hǎo qù rǎn tóu fà |
[20:29.66] |
So I went anyway, and he fired me. dàn wǒ hái shì qù le, tā jiù chǎo wǒ yóu yú |
[20:31.99] |
He left work to do a personal errand... tā rēng xià gōng zuò qù bàn sī shì |
[20:35.13] |
and left you in charge when you' ve been here two days? jiào cái lái 2 tiān de nǐ gù diàn? |
[20:38.70] |
That' s not right. zhè yàng bú duì ba |
[20:40.50] |
What are you gonna do? dàn shì néng zěn me bàn? |
[20:42.60] |
You can' t let him get away with that. qiáo yī, nǐ bù néng jiù zhè me suàn le |
[20:45.54] |
I won' t let him get away with that. I' m gonna say.. wǒ jué bù fàng guò tā, wǒ yào qù jiào xùn tā |
[20:48.94] |
I shouldn' t say anything. No, I should say something! bù, wǒ bù gāi duō shì bù, wǒ yào qù jiào xùn tā |
[20:55.55] |
Gunther? I want you to give Joey his job back. ā gān, ràng qiáo yī jì xù zài zhè lǐ dǎ gōng |
[20:58.95] |
It' s not fair that you have to fire.. Okay. nǐ zhè yàng jiě gù tā yì diǎn yě bù hǎo |
[21:06.29] |
What? He can have his job back. shén me? tā kě yǐ jì xù dǎ gōng |
[21:10.23] |
That' s right, he can have his job back. méi cuò, tā kě yǐ jì xù dǎ gōng |
[21:14.77] |
Glad we got that all straightened out. jiǎng tōng le jiù hǎo |
[21:18.51] |
There you go, Joey. hǎo le |
[21:20.07] |
Got your job back. That' s great. Thanks. nǐ kě yǐ jì xù dǎ gōng le tài hǎo le, xiè xiè nǐ |
[21:23.74] |
Pretty nice, huh? Now who' s a pushover? bù lài ba? shuí méi gè xìng le? |
[21:27.31] |
Rach, you' re in my seat. I' m sorry. nǐ zuò dào wǒ de wèi zi le bào qiàn |
[21:35.26] |
I never heard who you' d pick to be your girlfriend. nǐ men dōu méi shuō huì zhǎo shuí dāng nǚ péng yǒu |
[21:38.03] |
I' d pick you, Phoebe. Yeah, definitely you, Phoebe. wǒ xuǎn nǐ méi cuò, jué duì shì nǐ |
[21:41.70] |
Yeah, I kind of thought. wǒ yě zhè me jué de |
[21:47.00] |
Never. It would totally be you. jué duì shì nǐ |
[21:51.87] |
If you had to pick one of the other two to go out with... wǒ yǒu yí gè wèn tí rú guǒ yào zhǎo lìng wài liǎng gè rén dāng nán péng yǒu |
[21:55.48] |
who would you pick? nǐ men huì zhǎo shuí? |
[21:57.21] |
No way. I' m not answering. shǎo lái wǒ jù jué huí dá |
[21:58.81] |
Joey. qiáo yī |
[22:03.25] |
No way, I' m not answering that. shǎo lái, wǒ jù jué huí dá |