| [00:04.57] | Hey! You're not gonna believe this. 快看，你们一定不信 |
| [00:06.84] | Yes,Ross,we know they have magazines with pictures of naked women in them. 是的，我们知道那里面 有裸女的照片 |
| [00:11.41] | Don't tell him about the videos! 告诉他还有出录影带 |
| [00:14.91] | I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. 我编了一则笑话寄到花花公子 |
| [00:17.91] | They printed it. 结果登出来了 |
| [00:21.82] | I didn't know they print jokes. 我不知道花花公子也登笑话 |
| [00:24.05] | They print jokes,interviews, hard-hitting journalism. 他们有笑话、专访 扎实新闻报导 |
| [00:27.02] | It's not just about the pictures. 并非只有图片 |
| [00:29.06] | Didn't work on Mom, it's not gonna work on us. 妈不吃这套，我们也不吃 |
| [00:32.59] | Check it out. It's the first one. 你们看，还是第一则 |
| [00:36.30] | Right there. 右边这儿 |
| [00:40.24] | That is funny. 真好笑 |
| [00:41.74] | It was also funny when I made it up. 我编出来时也很好笑 |
| [00:46.01] | -What? -I made that joke up. 什么？ 这则笑话是我编的 |
| [00:48.18] | No,you didn't. I did. 不是你，是我 |
| [00:50.28] | Yes,I did. I told Dan and he said it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard. 是我，我说给公司的丹听 他说这是他听过最好笑的笑话 |
| [00:55.02] | Hey,tell Dan thanks. 帮我谢谢丹 |
| [01:01.52] | What? 怎样？ |
| [01:02.79] | I was just reading the joke below it. Man,that one is funny. 抱歉，我在看下面那则笑话 那则很好笑 |
| [01:08.96] | Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right? 摩妮卡，你记得 我跟你说过那则笑话吧？ |
| [01:12.63] | -No. -Seriously? 不记得 真的不记得？ |
| [01:14.70] | You tell a lot of jokes. 你的笑话一大堆 |
| [01:18.37] | Look,it's my joke. 钱德，那是我的笑话 |
| [01:19.81] | But if it makes you feel better, they don't print the name. 不过他们没有印投稿人 |
| [01:23.48] | So it doesn't really matter who gets credit. 所以是谁的并不重要，对吧？ |
| [01:26.11] | Yeah,I guess. 大概吧 |
| [01:27.65] | -Hey,guys. -Playboy printed my joke! 你们好 乔伊，花花公子登了我的笑话 |
| [01:30.22] | No,it's mine! Call them! They'll tell you! 不，那是我的笑话 你打去问就知道 |
| [01:33.32] | -My joke! -My joke! 那是我的笑话 是我的 |
| [01:34.66] | Whoa,whoa,whoa! |
| [01:36.29] | Jokes? What...? 笑话？ |
| [01:38.29] | You know there's naked chicks in there,right? 你们知道这上面有裸女吧？ |
| [01:43.20] | The One With The Joke 本集播出：“谁是笑话冠军” |
| [00:00.00] | |
| [02:21.27] | Dude! You have got to turn on Behind The Music. 快，赶快转到“音乐内幕” |
| [02:24.27] | The band Heart is having a tough time and they may break up. 红心合唱团状况百出 可能会解散 |
| [02:28.11] | Let's watch that at your place. 我们去你家看 |
| [02:30.28] | Monica's watching a show. I don't want to miss when they were skinny. 不行，摩妮卡在看烹饪节目 快点，我想看她们瘦的时候 |
| [02:34.38] | Hey,Chandler? You know what we should do? 钱德，你知道吗？ |
| [02:37.22] | You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses. 我们应该去买新墨镜 |
| [02:41.16] | What? No,I want to watch this. 什么？不要，我想看电视 |
| [02:46.29] | -Did your cable go out? -No. No,that's VH1. 你的第四台断线了吗？ 不是，那是VH-1 |
| [02:50.33] | I tell you,the music these kids listen to today... 现在的小朋友听的音乐... |
| [02:53.30] | it's a lot of noise to me. 简直是噪音 |
| [02:57.47] | Why is your cable out? 乔伊，第四台为什么没了？ |
| [02:59.41] | Oh,because I haven't really paid the bill. 因为我没缴钱 |
| [03:03.08] | If you need money, would you please let me loan you some? 你若缺钱，拜托让我借你好吗 |
| [03:06.58] | No,Chandler. Forget about it,okay? 不要，你别再说了 |
| [03:09.18] | I know things have been tight since Janine moved out. God,was she hot. 我知道吉宁走后，我有点吃紧 天哪，她可真辣 |
| [03:13.96] | I know,yeah. 就是啊 |
| [03:15.46] | Look,I can handle it, all right? I can listen to the radio. 但是我可以应付，好吗？ 我可以听广播 |
| [03:19.63] | And Ross gave me this great book. 罗斯也给了我一本很棒的书 |
| [03:23.46] | Want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch at his place? 要不要问那个笑话小偷 我们能不能去他家看？ |
| [03:27.34] | Sure. 好啊 |
| [03:30.71] | -Paid your phone bill? -No. 电话费有缴吗？ 没怎么在缴 |
| [03:42.35] | It's only you. 原来是你 |
| [03:44.79] | -What are you doing? -Looking at a Playboy. 你们在看什么？ 我们在看花花公子 |
| [03:47.69] | I want to look too! 我也想看 |
| [03:52.06] | Yikes! 好恶 |
| [03:55.00] | Do you think these pictures are trying to tell a story? 这些照片是有故事性吗？ |
| [03:58.97] | Sure. Like in the case of this young woman... 当然有，像这位年轻小姐 |
| [04:01.90] | she has lost her clothes. 她的衣服不见了 |
| [04:04.37] | So she rides naked on the horse, she's crying out, "Where are they?" 所以她光溜溜的骑着马大喊 “我的衣服呢？” |
| [04:10.65] | She's not gonna find them, lying in the grass like that. 光躺在草地上是找不到的 |
| [04:18.69] | Remember the days when you'd go out to the barn... 记不记得以前去谷仓 |
| [04:21.49] | Lift up your shirt and bend over? 掀起衣服翘起屁股的日子？ |
| [04:27.76] | You see,now,I would date this girl. 不过我会约这个女生 |
| [04:31.10] | She's cute, she's outdoorsy. 她很可爱，很阳光 |
| [04:34.04] | And she knows how to build a fire. That'll come in handy. 而且她会生火，可以派上用场 |
| [04:37.87] | I got a question. 我有一个问题 |
| [04:39.27] | If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be? 如果要在我们当中挑女朋友 你们会挑谁？ |
| [04:43.71] | -I don't know. -Me neither. 不知道 我也不知道 |
| [04:45.58] | Rachel. 瑞秋 |
| [04:48.08] | What? 什么？ |
| [04:50.72] | I don't know. 不知道 |
| [04:53.39] | Me neither. 我也不知道 |
| [04:58.53] | You know, you forget how many great songs Heart had. 我都忘了红心合唱团 有那么多经典 |
| [05:04.37] | "Barracuda" was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard. “Barracuda” 是我练键盘学的第一首歌 |
| [05:09.30] | So you heard it, you repeated it... 你听过，弹过 |
| [05:12.24] | so that must mean you wrote it. 所以那首歌是你写的罗？ |
| [05:16.98] | You guys with this joke. Well,I gotta say... 你们怎么还争啊？老实说 |
| [05:20.05] | I know I cracked up, but I'm not even sure I got it. 我有大笑，但是我看不太懂 |
| [05:23.22] | What? 什么？ |
| [05:25.15] | You didn't get it? 你看不懂？ |
| [05:26.65] | The doctor is a monkey. 那个医生是只猴子 |
| [05:30.49] | And monkeys can't write out prescriptions. 猴子没办法开处方 |
| [05:35.63] | You are not allowed to laugh at my joke. 我的笑话不准你笑 |
| [05:39.17] | Your joke? 你的笑话？ |
| [05:40.80] | Well,I think the Hef would disagree. 海夫纳可不同意 （花花公子创办人） |
| [05:43.97] | Which is why he sent me a check... 所以他寄了这张支票给我 |
| [05:46.47] | for $100. 100美元 |
| [05:48.91] | So you stole my joke and you stole my money? 你偷我的笑话，还偷我的钱 |
| [05:52.58] | I was gonna stick it in the ATM. 我本来要轧进柜员机里 |
| [05:54.78] | But now I think I'll show the sexy teller... 现在我决定让那位性感女柜员 |
| [05:57.92] | that I am a published writer. 知道我是个作家 |
| [06:00.96] | She'll know that you stole the joke. 她会知道你是偷来的 |
| [06:03.42] | You gonna follow me there? 你想怎样，跟着我去吗？ |
| [06:05.13] | -Yeah. -I'm not gonna go now. 没错 反正我现在又不去 |
| [06:07.16] | Okay. 好 |
| [06:11.27] | Here you go. 帐单 |
| [06:15.80] | Gunther? 阿甘 |
| [06:17.54] | I can't pay now, because I'm not working. 我现在不能付 我没工作 |
| [06:20.27] | I've had to cut down on some luxuries like... 得节省不必要的开销 |
| [06:23.11] | paying for stuff,so.... 像付帐之类的 |
| [06:27.28] | Well,if you want,you can work here. 你可以来这里工作 |
| [06:30.18] | I don't know. 我不晓得… |
| [06:31.65] | It's just.... |
| [06:33.39] | See, I was a regular on a soap opera, you know? 我演过连续剧 |
| [06:36.86] | And to go from that to this, it's just.... 从明星到服务生，我实在… |
| [06:40.06] | And plus, I'd have to wait on all my friends. 而且还得招呼我的朋友 |
| [06:43.20] | Okay. But the money's good. 好，但薪水很高 |
| [06:45.07] | Plus, you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want. 还可以看瑞秋看个够 |
| [06:50.57] | What? 什么？ |
| [06:52.07] | Flexible hours. 弹性工作时间 |
| [06:55.41] | Maybe I could be a waiter. 也许可以喔 |
| [06:57.48] | Could I use the phone? 可以用电话吗？ |
| [07:06.19] | She picked Rachel. 她选瑞秋 |
| [07:07.69] | She tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel. 她想改口 但是很明显，她选瑞秋 |
| [07:12.59] | He took my joke. He just took it. 他偷了我的笑话 |
| [07:16.26] | This is wrong. You know what else is wrong? 这样是不对的 还有什么是不对的？ |
| [07:19.17] | Phoebe picking Rachel. 菲比选了瑞秋 |
| [07:21.17] | Know who else picked Rachel? Ross. 还有谁会选瑞秋？ |
| [07:23.24] | Know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. 罗斯，罗斯还做了什么？ 他偷了我的笑话 |
| [07:27.74] | I'm gonna get a joke journal, you know? 我要买一本笑话日志 |
| [07:30.38] | And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes. 记录我每次讲笑话的日期时间 |
| [07:34.02] | Good idea. Know what's a bad idea? 好主意 你知道什么主意不好？ |
| [07:36.55] | -Picking Rachel. -That's right. 选择瑞秋 没错 |
| [07:41.59] | Did you hear something? 什么声音？ |
| [07:43.26] | Maybe it's the sound of Ross climbing into my brain to steal my thoughts. 也许是罗斯爬进我的脑袋 窃取我的思绪 |
| [07:48.10] | It's coming from the living room. 是客厅传来的 |
| [07:56.57] | I finished my book. 我的书看完了 |
| [08:05.55] | -Hey,you guys. -Hey. 你们好 |
| [08:08.25] | Don't you guys look cute. 你们好可爱 |
| [08:10.79] | You guys make a cute couple. 真是可爱的一对 |
| [08:14.16] | What are you doing? 摩妮卡，你在干嘛？ |
| [08:15.82] | Just trying to re-create some of the fun that we had at my place. 没什么 我只是想制造出前两天的乐趣 |
| [08:20.16] | Remember? When you picked Rachel over me? 就是你选瑞秋不选我那次 |
| [08:22.63] | That was funny. 多好玩啊 |
| [08:25.40] | -It was kind of funny. -It wasn't funny at all! 是蛮好玩的 一点也不好玩 |
| [08:29.57] | Why would you do that? 你为什么选她？ |
| [08:31.44] | Why didn't you pick me? 为什么不选我？ |
| [08:33.61] | Fine. 好 |
| [08:35.28] | The reason I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you... 我之所以比较倾向瑞秋 |
| [08:39.48] | is just, you know, you're... 是因为你… |
| [08:42.02] | high maintenance. Let's go to lunch! 有点难搞 我们去吃饭吧 |
| [08:44.42] | That is completely untrue. 哪有这回事 |
| [08:47.02] | You think I'm high maintenance? Prove it. 你觉得我难搞？ 证明给我看 |
| [08:49.62] | You write out a list, and we'll go through it point by point. 你列一张清单 我们逐条讨论 |
| [08:55.36] | No, you're right, you're easygoing. 你说得对，你很好相处 |
| [08:59.33] | You're just not as easygoing as Rachel. She's just more... 你只是没有瑞秋那么好相处 她比较... |
| [09:03.27] | flexible and mellow. That's all. 有弹性，比较圆融 |
| [09:08.94] | Well,people are different. 每个人都不一样 |
| [09:12.21] | Rachel will do whatever you want. You can just walk all over her. 瑞秋什么都好 怎么欺负她都行 |
| [09:17.39] | What? Are you saying that I'm a pushover? I'm not a pushover. 慢着，你是说我没个性吗？ 我才没有 |
| [09:21.62] | Oh,okay. You're not a pushover. 好，你有个性 |
| [09:26.29] | You think I'm a pushover. Well,watch this. 天哪，你觉得我没个性 你听着 |
| [09:29.36] | You're not invited to lunch! 我们不跟你吃饭了 |
| [09:31.47] | What do you think? Pretty strong,I think. 怎么样？够强硬了吧？ |
| [09:34.24] | Come on,Monica,let's go to lunch. 摩妮卡，我们去吃饭 |
| [09:38.67] | You start working on that list. 把清单列出来 |
| [09:42.64] | -I cannot believe her. -I know. Where do you want to eat? 她真是太扯了 就是啊，你想吃什么？ |
| [09:47.25] | -Oh,I love that Japanese place. -I'm sick of Japanese. Not there. 我很喜欢那家日本料理 我吃腻日本菜了，不要去那家 |
| [09:51.32] | Wherever you want to go is cool. 那看你想去哪里 |
| [09:58.76] | Oh,hey,Gunther... 阿甘 |
| [10:00.33] | check this out. 你看 |
| [10:04.57] | Yeah,that Chandler cracks me up. 那个钱德真的很好笑 |
| [10:11.24] | You want anything to drink? I'm heading up there. 罗斯，你要喝什么吗？ 我要去柜台 |
| [10:14.61] | -I'll take a coffee. Thanks. -Sure. 要，我要咖啡，谢了 不客气 |
| [10:17.41] | -Coffee? -No. 咖啡？ 不要 |
| [10:18.91] | Coffee? I'm going up there. 要咖啡吗？我要去柜台 |
| [10:20.68] | No,thank you. 不用了 谢谢 |
| [10:23.42] | You need anything? I'm heading up there. 需要什么吗？我要去柜台 |
| [10:26.39] | I'd love ice water. 我要一杯冰水 |
| [10:27.89] | You got it. 没问题 |
| [10:30.76] | What are you doing? 乔伊，你在干什么？ |
| [10:32.36] | Just being friendly. 表示友善啊 |
| [10:35.93] | You're not supposed to go back there. 乔伊，你不能去柜台后面 |
| [10:38.70] | It's okay. Right? 没关系啦，对吧，阿甘？ |
| [10:41.90] | Don't wink at me. 别跟我使眼色 |
| [10:44.74] | And put on your apron. 把围裙穿上 |
| [10:48.64] | Okay. 穿就穿 |
| [10:50.14] | I don't see you asking other paying customers to put on aprons. 你怎么不叫其他客人穿围裙 |
| [10:55.12] | -Joey,do you work here? -No. 乔伊，你在这里打工吗？ 没有 |
| [10:58.09] | -Waiter. -Yeah! 服务生 什么事？ |
| [11:02.99] | What's going on? Why didn't you tell us you work here? 乔伊，怎么回事？ 你为什么不告诉我们？ |
| [11:09.40] | It's kind of embarrassing. I mean, I was an actor,now I'm a waiter. 这件事蛮尴尬的 我之前是演员，现在是服务生 |
| [11:13.83] | It's supposed to go the other direction. 一般应该反过来才对 |
| [11:16.74] | So's your apron. You're wearing it like a cape. 你的围裙也反穿成披风了 |
| [11:20.78] | I mean, the job's easy and the money's good, you know? 这份工作很简单，薪水很高 |
| [11:24.11] | I guess if I'm hanging out here, I might as well get paid for it. 反正我都在这混，干脆赚个钱 |
| [11:28.28] | I just feel kind of weird serving you guys, you know? 只是要招呼你们感觉很怪 |
| [11:31.82] | It'll be great. |
| [11:33.25] | Come on,I did it and it was fine. 我也做过，还好啊 |
| [11:35.82] | Why would it be weird? 对啊，怎么会怪？ |
| [11:37.59] | Hey,Joey? Can I get some coffee? 乔伊，帮我端个咖啡 |
| [11:41.73] | It doesn't seem that weird. 确实没那么怪 |
| [11:44.00] | I asked before. You still haven't gotten it. 我说真的，我点的咖啡还没来 |
| [11:48.44] | See, now it's weird again. 现在又变怪了 |
| [11:51.34] | You're gonna make a lot of money. Here's your first tip. 你来这里工作是好事 你会赚大钱，给你一个忠告 |
| [11:56.14] | Don't eat yellow snow. 不要学坏 |
| [12:00.85] | 2:15, coffeehouse. 2点15分，咖啡馆 |
| [12:05.45] | This is great. Finally, someone I can pass my wisdom to. 太好了 总算有人能传承我的智慧 |
| [12:08.86] | Let me tell you some things I learned working here. 告诉你几件我在这里学到的事 |
| [12:12.99] | First,the customer is always right. 首先，顾客永远是对的 |
| [12:16.26] | A smile goes a long way. 微笑能让你无往不利 |
| [12:20.50] | And if anyone is ever rude to you, sneeze muffin. 有人对你不客气 就朝松饼打喷嚏 |
| [12:26.14] | Thanks,Rach. 谢了 |
| [12:29.01] | Hey, look, you guys are just terrific, you know? 你们对我真好 |
| [12:32.18] | How about clearing out so I can get some new customers? 要不要清场让别人进来了？ |
| [12:35.48] | It's all about turnover. 有流动才有商机 |
| [12:40.79] | Seriously,can I get my coffee? 乔伊，我想喝咖啡了 |
| [12:44.29] | I'm sorry. I'll get it right now. 抱歉，马上来 |
| [12:46.83] | And since you waited, I'll toss in a free muffin. 我送你一块松饼做补偿 |
| [12:56.07] | Phoebe,we'd like to talk to you. 菲比，我们想跟你谈谈 |
| [12:58.67] | Okay. 好 |
| [13:00.17] | So,maybe I am a little high maintenance. 或许我是有点难搞 |
| [13:03.51] | And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. 或许瑞秋是有点没个性 |
| [13:06.65] | But you know what you are? 但你知道你是什么吗？ |
| [13:08.55] | We are sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky. 很抱歉这么说 但是你，菲比，是个怪人 |
| [13:15.72] | That's true, I am flaky. 没错，我是很怪 |
| [13:19.03] | So,what,you're just okay with being flaky? 所以你怪也无所谓？ |
| [13:22.90] | Yeah,totally. 完全无所谓 |
| [13:25.37] | Then I'm okay with being high maintenance. 那我难搞也无所谓 |
| [13:28.10] | Yeah. And I am okay with being a pushover. 我没个性也无所谓 |
| [13:31.41] | That's great. Good for you guys. 太好了，无所谓就好 |
| [13:34.28] | -I am not high maintenance! -I am not a pushover! 我才不难搞 我才没有没个性 |
| [13:38.51] | -Who said you were? -You did! 谁说你们是了？ 你啊 |
| [13:40.95] | I'm flaky. I'll say anything. 我是怪人，专门乱说话 |
| [13:49.56] | Hey,Gunther. 阿甘 |
| [13:51.06] | Can you cover for me? I got an audition. 帮我挡一下，我接到试镜通知 |
| [13:53.76] | No, I'm leaving to get my hair dyed. 不行，我要去染头发 |
| [13:58.10] | I like your natural color. 是吗？我喜欢你的自然色 |
| [14:02.47] | It's a great part. I'm the lead guy's best friend. 拜托啦，这是个好角色 我演男主角的死党 |
| [14:06.14] | I wait for him and save his seat. Listen. 在酒吧帮他占位子，你听 |
| [14:09.48] | "I'm sorry, that seat's saved." 抱歉，这个位子有人 |
| [14:13.98] | -That's the whole part? -Maybe he's not his best friend. 就这样？ 或许不是他的死党，但是… |
| [14:18.42] | I'll see you. 1小时后见 |
| [14:20.89] | Oh,man. |
| [14:22.66] | I could totally get that part. "I'm sorry,this seat is taken." 我绝对能拿到那个角色 抱歉，这个位子有人 |
| [14:26.73] | -Excuse me. -No,I didn't mean you. 抱歉 不，我不是说你 |
| [14:30.26] | But you believed me? 但你以为是真的吧？ |
| [14:32.43] | I believed you were saving this seat for someone. 我以为你在帮别人占位 |
| [14:36.40] | So you'd hire me,right? 所以你会用我罗？ |
| [14:39.01] | For what? 用你干嘛？ |
| [14:41.41] | Exactly! All right, everybody listen up! 就是说嘛…各位请注意 |
| [14:44.31] | The coffeehouse will be closed for about an hour. 本店要暂停营业1小时 |
| [14:47.35] | What? 什么？ |
| [14:49.92] | It's for the kids. 好帮助孩子们 |
| [14:51.52] | Yeah,to keep the kids off drugs. 帮助他们远离毒品 |
| [14:54.52] | It's a very important issue in this month's Playboy. 这是本期花花公子的重要报导 |
| [14:58.33] | I'm sure you all read about it. 各位一定都看过 |
| [15:03.36] | Hey! Don't you wanna keep guns away from kids? 你不想让孩子们远离枪枝吗？ |
| [15:06.57] | -You said,"drugs." -It's a vicious cycle. Get out! 你刚才说毒品 这是恶性循环，滚啦 |
| [15:12.57] | Go! 快点 |
| [15:25.89] | -It's my joke. -It's my joke. 那是我的笑话 是我的 |
| [15:31.33] | It's my joke. 是我的 |
| [15:34.70] | I don't think we're gonna settle this. 我们再吵也吵不出结果 |
| [15:38.17] | Let's have Monica decide. 让摩妮卡决定吧 |
| [15:40.57] | -Hey,Mon! -Get out here! 小妹 亲爱的，出来一下 |
| [15:42.40] | -Monica? -Okay. 摩妮卡 |
| [15:44.57] | You have to decide whose joke this is. 你来决定这个笑话是谁的 |
| [15:47.14] | Why do I have to? 为什么要我决定？ |
| [15:48.38] | You're the only one that can be fair. 因为你才能客观公正 |
| [15:50.81] | I can't be. You're my boyfriend. 我不能，你是我的男朋友 |
| [15:52.88] | But I'm your brother. We're family. 但我是你哥哥，我们是家人 |
| [15:55.25] | That's the most important thing in the world. 世上最重要的就是亲情 |
| [16:01.06] | Don't try to sway her. 不要想左右她 |
| [16:03.19] | I'm your only chance to have a baby. 只有我能让你生小孩 |
| [16:09.93] | -Okay,let's go. -All right. 我们开始吧 好 |
| [16:11.67] | We'll each tell you how we came up with the joke... 我们会说出这个笑话的由来 |
| [16:15.54] | then you decide which one of us is telling the truth. Me. 你再决定谁说的是实话…是我 |
| [16:20.17] | Chandler, you first. 钱德，你先 |
| [16:21.68] | I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve. 好，我是2个月前 跟史提夫吃饭时想到的 |
| [16:25.28] | -Did I meet him at Christmas? -Can I finish? 就是圣诞节那傢伙吗？ 让我说完好吗？ |
| [16:28.05] | You want me to pick you? 你要我选你吗？ |
| [16:30.75] | See,I would never snap at you like that. 我绝对不会那样凶你 |
| [16:35.92] | Two babies. |
| [16:42.36] | -Continue. -Okay. 请继续 |
| [16:43.80] | Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And his doctor's name is Dr. Mompey. 史提夫说他去看医生 他的医生姓侯奇 |
| [16:48.80] | I said, "Dr. Monkey?" And that is how the whole Dr. Monkey thing came up. 我说“猴子医生？” 所以才会有猴子医生这个笑话 |
| [16:58.21] | Are you kidding? 你开什么玩笑 |
| [17:00.48] | Okay,look,I study evolution. 我是学进化论的 |
| [17:03.15] | Remember? Evolution. 记得吧？进化论 |
| [17:04.82] | Monkey into man. 猴子进化成人 |
| [17:06.62] | Plus,I'm a doctor. And... 况且我是博士 |
| [17:08.56] | I had a monkey. 我还养过猴子 |
| [17:13.73] | I'm Dr. Monkey! 我是猴子博士 |
| [17:18.40] | I'm not arguing with that. 这点我不跟你争 |
| [17:21.07] | I've heard enough for my decision. 好，可以了，我决定好了 |
| [17:23.34] | -Okay,so what..? -Do tell. 那是？？ |
| [17:25.17] | You are both idiots. 你们两个都是白痴 |
| [17:29.01] | It's not funny. And it's offensive to women. 那个笑话不但不好笑 还冒犯了女性 |
| [17:31.85] | And doctors. And monkeys. 还有医生，还有猴子 |
| [17:35.45] | You shouldn't argue over who gets credit. 你们不该争笑话是谁的 |
| [17:37.79] | You should argue over who gets blamed for inflicting this joke on the world. 应该争是谁让这世界受这种罪 |
| [17:42.92] | Now,let it go. 别再争了 |
| [17:44.49] | The joke sucks. 那个笑话烂透了 |
| [17:52.30] | -It's your joke. -It is not. 那是你的笑话 才不是 |
| [18:09.55] | -Oh, my God, Chandler, there you are. -Hi. 钱德，你在这里 |
| [18:13.79] | Hey,it's Phoebe and Rachel. 是菲比和瑞秋 |
| [18:16.12] | Why don't you tell them... 你要不要告诉她们 |
| [18:17.66] | what you told me about me not being high maintenance. 你刚才说我并不难搞？ |
| [18:24.00] | Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. 摩妮卡是个自信沉着的女性 |
| [18:29.70] | Being with her has been like being on a vacation. 跟她在一起就像在度假 |
| [18:35.14] | And what may be perceived as high maintenance... 至于所谓的难搞 |
| [18:38.21] | is merely attention to detail... 只是注重小细节... |
| [18:41.01] | and... 和… |
| [18:43.52] | generosity of spirit. 心灵的慷慨 |
| [18:47.69] | Wow. You know what? That is the best fake speech I think I've ever heard. 这真是我所听过最棒的假话 |
| [18:52.66] | Really? I've heard better. 真的？我听过更棒的 |
| [18:55.40] | Wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them. 等等，那是他自己说的 你告诉她们 |
| [18:59.77] | I'm out of words. Should I say it again? 我已经词穷了 可以重复就好吗？ |
| [19:02.07] | Look, I am not high maintenance! 我一点也不难搞 |
| [19:04.27] | I am not. Chandler! 钱德 |
| [19:08.78] | You're a little high maintenance. 你是有点难搞 |
| [19:11.58] | You are on my list! 你上黑名单了 |
| [19:14.85] | Look,I'm sorry,but you're not.. 对不起 不过... |
| [19:17.05] | You're not easygoing, but you're passionate. 你并不好相处 但你很热情 |
| [19:20.09] | And that's good. 这样很好 |
| [19:21.59] | And when you get upset about little things,I think I'm pretty good... 当你为小事不高兴时 我觉得... |
| [19:25.73] | at making you feel better. 我蛮能安抚你的 |
| [19:27.79] | That's good too. They say you're high maintenance... 那样也很好 所以她们说你难搞也行 |
| [19:30.96] | but it's okay,because I like... 因为我喜欢… |
| [19:35.30] | maintaining you. 搞定你 |
| [19:45.55] | I didn't tell him that. 我没叫他说这些 |
| [19:51.29] | -You're off my list. -I'm off the list. 你从黑名单除名了 我除名了 |
| [19:54.42] | Phoebe? 菲比 |
| [19:56.89] | It's okay that you don't want me to be your girlfriend. 你不找我当女朋友也没关系 |
| [20:00.29] | I have the best boyfriend. 因为我有最棒的男朋友 |
| [20:03.43] | You know, suddenly I find you very attractive. 我突然觉得你好迷人 |
| [20:10.14] | How'd the audition go? 兄弟，试镜结果如何？ |
| [20:11.91] | Oh, not good. No. 不好 |
| [20:13.47] | I didn't get the part. And I lost my job here,so... 我没拿到那个角色 这里的工作也没了，所以… |
| [20:17.41] | Wow,that is a bad audition. 好惨烈的试镜 |
| [20:21.52] | Well,how did you lose your job here? 这里的工作为什么没了？ |
| [20:24.28] | I had the audition... 我要去试镜 |
| [20:25.79] | but Gunther said I had to stay so he could get his hair dyed. 但阿甘叫我顾店 他好去染头发 |
| [20:29.66] | So I went anyway, and he fired me. 但我还是去了，他就炒我鱿鱼 |
| [20:31.99] | He left work to do a personal errand... 他扔下工作去办私事 |
| [20:35.13] | and left you in charge when you've been here two days? 叫才来2天的你顾店？ |
| [20:38.70] | That's not right. 这样不对吧 |
| [20:40.50] | What are you gonna do? 但是能怎么办？ |
| [20:42.60] | You can't let him get away with that. 乔伊，你不能就这么算了 |
| [20:45.54] | I won't let him get away with that. I'm gonna say.. 我绝不放过他，我要去教训他 |
| [20:48.94] | I shouldn't say anything. No,I should say something! 不，我不该多事 不，我要去教训他 |
| [20:55.55] | Gunther? I want you to give Joey his job back. 阿甘，让乔伊继续在这里打工 |
| [20:58.95] | -It's not fair that you have to fire.. -Okay. 你这样解雇他一点也不… 好 |
| [21:06.29] | -What? -He can have his job back. 什么？ 他可以继续打工 |
| [21:10.23] | That's right, he can have his job back. 没错，他可以继续打工 |
| [21:14.77] | Glad we got that all straightened out. 讲通了就好 |
| [21:18.51] | There you go,Joey. 好了 |
| [21:20.07] | -Got your job back. -That's great. Thanks. 你可以继续打工了 太好了，谢谢你 |
| [21:23.74] | Pretty nice,huh? Now who's a pushover? 不赖吧？谁没个性了？ |
| [21:27.31] | -Rach,you're in my seat. -I'm sorry. 你坐到我的位子了 抱歉 |
| [21:35.26] | I never heard who you'd pick to be your girlfriend. 你们都没说会找谁当女朋友 |
| [21:38.03] | -I'd pick you,Phoebe. -Yeah,definitely you,Phoebe. 我选你 没错，绝对是你 |
| [21:41.70] | Yeah,I kind of thought. 我也这么觉得 |
| [21:47.00] | -Never. -It would totally be you. 绝对是你 |
| [21:51.87] | If you had to pick one of the other two to go out with... 我有一个问题 如果要找另外两个人当男朋友 |
| [21:55.48] | who would you pick? 你们会找谁？ |
| [21:57.21] | -No way. -I'm not answering. 少来 我拒绝回答 |
| [21:58.81] | Joey. 乔伊 |
| [22:03.25] | No way, I'm not answering that. 少来，我拒绝回答 |
| [00:04.57] | Hey! You' re not gonna believe this. kuai kan, ni men yi ding bu xin |
| [00:06.84] | Yes, Ross, we know they have magazines with pictures of naked women in them. shi de, wo men zhi dao na li mian you luo nv de zhao pian |
| [00:11.41] | Don' t tell him about the videos! gao su ta hai you chu lu ying dai |
| [00:14.91] | I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. wo bian le yi ze xiao hua ji dao hua hua gong zi |
| [00:17.91] | They printed it. jie guo deng chu lai le |
| [00:21.82] | I didn' t know they print jokes. wo bu zhi dao hua hua gong zi ye deng xiao hua |
| [00:24.05] | They print jokes, interviews, hardhitting journalism. ta men you xiao hua zhuan fang zha shi xin wen bao dao |
| [00:27.02] | It' s not just about the pictures. bing fei zhi you tu pian |
| [00:29.06] | Didn' t work on Mom, it' s not gonna work on us. ma bu chi zhe tao, wo men ye bu chi |
| [00:32.59] | Check it out. It' s the first one. ni men kan, hai shi di yi ze |
| [00:36.30] | Right there. you bian zhe er |
| [00:40.24] | That is funny. zhen hao xiao |
| [00:41.74] | It was also funny when I made it up. wo bian chu lai shi ye hen hao xiao |
| [00:46.01] | What? I made that joke up. shen me? zhe ze xiao hua shi wo bian de |
| [00:48.18] | No, you didn' t. I did. bu shi ni, shi wo |
| [00:50.28] | Yes, I did. I told Dan and he said it was the funniest joke he' d ever heard. shi wo, wo shuo gei gong si de dan ting ta shuo zhe shi ta ting guo zui hao xiao de xiao hua |
| [00:55.02] | Hey, tell Dan thanks. bang wo xie xie dan |
| [01:01.52] | What? zen yang? |
| [01:02.79] | I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. bao qian, wo zai kan xia mian na ze xiao hua na ze hen hao xiao |
| [01:08.96] | Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right? mo ni ka, ni ji de wo gen ni shuo guo na ze xiao hua ba? |
| [01:12.63] | No. Seriously? bu ji de zhen de bu ji de? |
| [01:14.70] | You tell a lot of jokes. ni de xiao hua yi da dui |
| [01:18.37] | Look, it' s my joke. qian de, na shi wo de xiao hua |
| [01:19.81] | But if it makes you feel better, they don' t print the name. bu guo ta men mei you yin tou gao ren |
| [01:23.48] | So it doesn' t really matter who gets credit. suo yi shi shui de bing bu zhong yao, dui ba? |
| [01:26.11] | Yeah, I guess. da gai ba |
| [01:27.65] | Hey, guys. Playboy printed my joke! ni men hao qiao yi, hua hua gong zi deng le wo de xiao hua |
| [01:30.22] | No, it' s mine! Call them! They' ll tell you! bu, na shi wo de xiao hua ni da qu wen jiu zhi dao |
| [01:33.32] | My joke! My joke! na shi wo de xiao hua shi wo de |
| [01:34.66] | Whoa, whoa, whoa! |
| [01:36.29] | Jokes? What...? xiao hua? |
| [01:38.29] | You know there' s naked chicks in there, right? ni men zhi dao zhe shang mian you luo nv ba? |
| [01:43.20] | The One With The Joke ben ji bo chu:" shui shi xiao hua guan jun" |
| [00:00.00] | |
| [02:21.27] | Dude! You have got to turn on Behind The Music. kuai, gan kuai zhuan dao" yin yue nei mu" |
| [02:24.27] | The band Heart is having a tough time and they may break up. hong xin he chang tuan zhuang kuang bai chu ke neng hui jie san |
| [02:28.11] | Let' s watch that at your place. wo men qu ni jia kan |
| [02:30.28] | Monica' s watching a show. I don' t want to miss when they were skinny. bu xing, mo ni ka zai kan peng ren jie mu kuai dian, wo xiang kan ta men shou de shi hou |
| [02:34.38] | Hey, Chandler? You know what we should do? qian de, ni zhi dao ma? |
| [02:37.22] | You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses. wo men ying gai qu mai xin mo jing |
| [02:41.16] | What? No, I want to watch this. shen me? bu yao, wo xiang kan dian shi |
| [02:46.29] | Did your cable go out? No. No, that' s VH1. ni de di si tai duan xian le ma? bu shi, na shi VH1 |
| [02:50.33] | I tell you, the music these kids listen to today... xian zai de xiao peng you ting de yin yue... |
| [02:53.30] | it' s a lot of noise to me. jian zhi shi zao yin |
| [02:57.47] | Why is your cable out? qiao yi, di si tai wei shi me mei le? |
| [02:59.41] | Oh, because I haven' t really paid the bill. yin wei wo mei jiao qian |
| [03:03.08] | If you need money, would you please let me loan you some? ni ruo que qian, bai tuo rang wo jie ni hao ma |
| [03:06.58] | No, Chandler. Forget about it, okay? bu yao, ni bie zai shuo le |
| [03:09.18] | I know things have been tight since Janine moved out. God, was she hot. wo zhi dao ji ning zou hou, wo you dian chi jin tian na, ta ke zhen la |
| [03:13.96] | I know, yeah. jiu shi a |
| [03:15.46] | Look, I can handle it, all right? I can listen to the radio. dan shi wo ke yi ying fu, hao ma? wo ke yi ting guang bo |
| [03:19.63] | And Ross gave me this great book. luo si ye gei le wo yi ben hen bang de shu |
| [03:23.46] | Want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch at his place? yao bu yao wen na ge xiao hua xiao tou wo men neng bu neng qu ta jia kan? |
| [03:27.34] | Sure. hao a |
| [03:30.71] | Paid your phone bill? No. dian hua fei you jiao ma? mei zen me zai jiao |
| [03:42.35] | It' s only you. yuan lai shi ni |
| [03:44.79] | What are you doing? Looking at a Playboy. ni men zai kan shen me? wo men zai kan hua hua gong zi |
| [03:47.69] | I want to look too! wo ye xiang kan |
| [03:52.06] | Yikes! hao wu |
| [03:55.00] | Do you think these pictures are trying to tell a story? zhei xie zhao pian shi you gu shi xing ma? |
| [03:58.97] | Sure. Like in the case of this young woman... dang ran you, xiang zhe wei nian qing xiao jie |
| [04:01.90] | she has lost her clothes. ta de yi fu bu jian le |
| [04:04.37] | So she rides naked on the horse, she' s crying out, " Where are they?" suo yi ta guang liu liu de qi zhe ma da han " wo de yi fu ne?" |
| [04:10.65] | She' s not gonna find them, lying in the grass like that. guang tang zai cao di shang shi zhao bu dao de |
| [04:18.69] | Remember the days when you' d go out to the barn... ji bu ji de yi qian qu gu cang |
| [04:21.49] | Lift up your shirt and bend over? xian qi yi fu qiao qi pi gu de ri zi? |
| [04:27.76] | You see, now, I would date this girl. bu guo wo hui yue zhe ge nv sheng |
| [04:31.10] | She' s cute, she' s outdoorsy. ta hen ke ai, hen yang guang |
| [04:34.04] | And she knows how to build a fire. That' ll come in handy. er qie ta hui sheng huo, ke yi pai shang yong chang |
| [04:37.87] | I got a question. wo you yi ge wen ti |
| [04:39.27] | If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be? ru guo yao zai wo men dang zhong tiao nv peng you ni men hui tiao shui? |
| [04:43.71] | I don' t know. Me neither. bu zhi dao wo ye bu zhi dao |
| [04:45.58] | Rachel. rui qiu |
| [04:48.08] | What? shen me? |
| [04:50.72] | I don' t know. bu zhi dao |
| [04:53.39] | Me neither. wo ye bu zhi dao |
| [04:58.53] | You know, you forget how many great songs Heart had. wo dou wang le hong xin he chang tuan you na me duo jing dian |
| [05:04.37] | " Barracuda" was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard. " Barracuda" shi wo lian jian pan xue de di yi shou ge |
| [05:09.30] | So you heard it, you repeated it... ni ting guo, dan guo |
| [05:12.24] | so that must mean you wrote it. suo yi na shou ge shi ni xie de luo? |
| [05:16.98] | You guys with this joke. Well, I gotta say... ni men zen me hai zheng a? lao shi shuo |
| [05:20.05] | I know I cracked up, but I' m not even sure I got it. wo you da xiao, dan shi wo kan bu tai dong |
| [05:23.22] | What? shen me? |
| [05:25.15] | You didn' t get it? ni kan bu dong? |
| [05:26.65] | The doctor is a monkey. na ge yi sheng shi zhi hou zi |
| [05:30.49] | And monkeys can' t write out prescriptions. hou zi mei ban fa kai chu fang |
| [05:35.63] | You are not allowed to laugh at my joke. wo de xiao hua bu zhun ni xiao |
| [05:39.17] | Your joke? ni de xiao hua? |
| [05:40.80] | Well, I think the Hef would disagree. hai fu na ke bu tong yi hua hua gong zi chuang ban ren |
| [05:43.97] | Which is why he sent me a check... suo yi ta ji le zhe zhang zhi piao gei wo |
| [05:46.47] | for 100. 100 mei yuan |
| [05:48.91] | So you stole my joke and you stole my money? ni tou wo de xiao hua, hai tou wo de qian |
| [05:52.58] | I was gonna stick it in the ATM. wo ben lai yao ya jin gui yuan ji li |
| [05:54.78] | But now I think I' ll show the sexy teller... xian zai wo jue ding rang na wei xing gan nv gui yuan |
| [05:57.92] | that I am a published writer. zhi dao wo shi ge zuo jia |
| [06:00.96] | She' ll know that you stole the joke. ta hui zhi dao ni shi tou lai de |
| [06:03.42] | You gonna follow me there? ni xiang zen yang, gen zhe wo qu ma? |
| [06:05.13] | Yeah. I' m not gonna go now. mei cuo fan zheng wo xian zai you bu qu |
| [06:07.16] | Okay. hao |
| [06:11.27] | Here you go. zhang dan |
| [06:15.80] | Gunther? a gan |
| [06:17.54] | I can' t pay now, because I' m not working. wo xian zai bu neng fu wo mei gong zuo |
| [06:20.27] | I' ve had to cut down on some luxuries like... de jie sheng bu bi yao de kai xiao |
| [06:23.11] | paying for stuff, so.... xiang fu zhang zhi lei de |
| [06:27.28] | Well, if you want, you can work here. ni ke yi lai zhe li gong zuo |
| [06:30.18] | I don' t know. wo bu xiao de |
| [06:31.65] | It' s just.... |
| [06:33.39] | See, I was a regular on a soap opera, you know? wo yan guo lian xu ju |
| [06:36.86] | And to go from that to this, it' s just.... cong ming xing dao fu wu sheng, wo shi zai |
| [06:40.06] | And plus, I' d have to wait on all my friends. er qie hai de zhao hu wo de peng you |
| [06:43.20] | Okay. But the money' s good. hao, dan xin shui hen gao |
| [06:45.07] | Plus, you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want. hai ke yi kan rui qiu kan ge gou |
| [06:50.57] | What? shen me? |
| [06:52.07] | Flexible hours. tan xing gong zuo shi jian |
| [06:55.41] | Maybe I could be a waiter. ye xu ke yi o |
| [06:57.48] | Could I use the phone? ke yi yong dian hua ma? |
| [07:06.19] | She picked Rachel. ta xuan rui qiu |
| [07:07.69] | She tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel. ta xiang gai kou dan shi hen ming xian, ta xuan rui qiu |
| [07:12.59] | He took my joke. He just took it. ta tou le wo de xiao hua |
| [07:16.26] | This is wrong. You know what else is wrong? zhe yang shi bu dui de hai you shen me shi bu dui de? |
| [07:19.17] | Phoebe picking Rachel. fei bi xuan le rui qiu |
| [07:21.17] | Know who else picked Rachel? Ross. hai you shui hui xuan rui qiu? |
| [07:23.24] | Know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. luo si, luo si hai zuo le shen me? ta tou le wo de xiao hua |
| [07:27.74] | I' m gonna get a joke journal, you know? wo yao mai yi ben xiao hua ri zhi |
| [07:30.38] | And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes. ji lu wo mei ci jiang xiao hua de ri qi shi jian |
| [07:34.02] | Good idea. Know what' s a bad idea? hao zhu yi ni zhi dao shen me zhu yi bu hao? |
| [07:36.55] | Picking Rachel. That' s right. xuan ze rui qiu mei cuo |
| [07:41.59] | Did you hear something? shen me sheng yin? |
| [07:43.26] | Maybe it' s the sound of Ross climbing into my brain to steal my thoughts. ye xu shi luo si pa jin wo de nao dai qie qu wo de si xu |
| [07:48.10] | It' s coming from the living room. shi ke ting chuan lai de |
| [07:56.57] | I finished my book. wo de shu kan wan le |
| [08:05.55] | Hey, you guys. Hey. ni men hao |
| [08:08.25] | Don' t you guys look cute. ni men hao ke ai |
| [08:10.79] | You guys make a cute couple. zhen shi ke ai de yi dui |
| [08:14.16] | What are you doing? mo ni ka, ni zai gan ma? |
| [08:15.82] | Just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place. mei shen me wo zhi shi xiang zhi zao chu qian liang tian de le qu |
| [08:20.16] | Remember? When you picked Rachel over me? jiu shi ni xuan rui qiu bu xuan wo na ci |
| [08:22.63] | That was funny. duo hao wan a |
| [08:25.40] | It was kind of funny. It wasn' t funny at all! shi man hao wan de yi dian ye bu hao wan |
| [08:29.57] | Why would you do that? ni wei shi me xuan ta? |
| [08:31.44] | Why didn' t you pick me? wei shi me bu xuan wo? |
| [08:33.61] | Fine. hao |
| [08:35.28] | The reason I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you... wo zhi suo yi bi jiao qing xiang rui qiu |
| [08:39.48] | is just, you know, you' re... shi yin wei ni |
| [08:42.02] | high maintenance. Let' s go to lunch! you dian nan gao wo men qu chi fan ba |
| [08:44.42] | That is completely untrue. na you zhe hui shi |
| [08:47.02] | You think I' m high maintenance? Prove it. ni jue de wo nan gao? zheng ming gei wo kan |
| [08:49.62] | You write out a list, and we' ll go through it point by point. ni lie yi zhang qing dan wo men zhu tiao tao lun |
| [08:55.36] | No, you' re right, you' re easygoing. ni shuo de dui, ni hen hao xiang chu |
| [08:59.33] | You' re just not as easygoing as Rachel. She' s just more... ni zhi shi mei you rui qiu na me hao xiang chu ta bi jiao... |
| [09:03.27] | flexible and mellow. That' s all. you tan xing, bi jiao yuan rong |
| [09:08.94] | Well, people are different. mei ge ren dou bu yi yang |
| [09:12.21] | Rachel will do whatever you want. You can just walk all over her. rui qiu shen me dou hao zen me qi fu ta dou xing |
| [09:17.39] | What? Are you saying that I' m a pushover? I' m not a pushover. man zhe, ni shi shuo wo mei ge xing ma? wo cai mei you |
| [09:21.62] | Oh, okay. You' re not a pushover. hao, ni you ge xing |
| [09:26.29] | You think I' m a pushover. Well, watch this. tian na, ni jue de wo mei ge xing ni ting zhe |
| [09:29.36] | You' re not invited to lunch! wo men bu gen ni chi fan le |
| [09:31.47] | What do you think? Pretty strong, I think. zen me yang? gou qiang ying le ba? |
| [09:34.24] | Come on, Monica, let' s go to lunch. mo ni ka, wo men qu chi fan |
| [09:38.67] | You start working on that list. ba qing dan lie chu lai |
| [09:42.64] | I cannot believe her. I know. Where do you want to eat? ta zhen shi tai che le jiu shi a, ni xiang chi shen me? |
| [09:47.25] | Oh, I love that Japanese place. I' m sick of Japanese. Not there. wo hen xi huan na jia ri ben liao li wo chi ni ri ben cai le, bu yao qu na jia |
| [09:51.32] | Wherever you want to go is cool. na kan ni xiang qu na li |
| [09:58.76] | Oh, hey, Gunther... a gan |
| [10:00.33] | check this out. ni kan |
| [10:04.57] | Yeah, that Chandler cracks me up. na ge qian de zhen de hen hao xiao |
| [10:11.24] | You want anything to drink? I' m heading up there. luo si, ni yao he shen me ma? wo yao qu gui tai |
| [10:14.61] | I' ll take a coffee. Thanks. Sure. yao, wo yao ka fei, xie le bu ke qi |
| [10:17.41] | Coffee? No. ka fei? bu yao |
| [10:18.91] | Coffee? I' m going up there. yao ka fei ma? wo yao qu gui tai |
| [10:20.68] | No, thank you. bu yong le xie xie |
| [10:23.42] | You need anything? I' m heading up there. xu yao shen me ma? wo yao qu gui tai |
| [10:26.39] | I' d love ice water. wo yao yi bei bing shui |
| [10:27.89] | You got it. mei wen ti |
| [10:30.76] | What are you doing? qiao yi, ni zai gan shen me? |
| [10:32.36] | Just being friendly. biao shi you shan a |
| [10:35.93] | You' re not supposed to go back there. qiao yi, ni bu neng qu gui tai hou mian |
| [10:38.70] | It' s okay. Right? mei guan xi la, dui ba, a gan? |
| [10:41.90] | Don' t wink at me. bie gen wo shi yan se |
| [10:44.74] | And put on your apron. ba wei qun chuan shang |
| [10:48.64] | Okay. chuan jiu chuan |
| [10:50.14] | I don' t see you asking other paying customers to put on aprons. ni zen me bu jiao qi ta ke ren chuan wei qun |
| [10:55.12] | Joey, do you work here? No. qiao yi, ni zai zhe li da gong ma? mei you |
| [10:58.09] | Waiter. Yeah! fu wu sheng shen me shi? |
| [11:02.99] | What' s going on? Why didn' t you tell us you work here? qiao yi, zen me hui shi? ni wei shi me bu gao su wo men? |
| [11:09.40] | It' s kind of embarrassing. I mean, I was an actor, now I' m a waiter. zhe jian shi man gan ga de wo zhi qian shi yan yuan, xian zai shi fu wu sheng |
| [11:13.83] | It' s supposed to go the other direction. yi ban ying gai fan guo lai cai dui |
| [11:16.74] | So' s your apron. You' re wearing it like a cape. ni de wei qun ye fan chuan cheng pi feng le |
| [11:20.78] | I mean, the job' s easy and the money' s good, you know? zhe fen gong zuo hen jian dan, xin shui hen gao |
| [11:24.11] | I guess if I' m hanging out here, I might as well get paid for it. fan zheng wo dou zai zhe hun, gan cui zhuan ge qian |
| [11:28.28] | I just feel kind of weird serving you guys, you know? zhi shi yao zhao hu ni men gan jue hen guai |
| [11:31.82] | It' ll be great. |
| [11:33.25] | Come on, I did it and it was fine. wo ye zuo guo, hai hao a |
| [11:35.82] | Why would it be weird? dui a, zen me hui guai? |
| [11:37.59] | Hey, Joey? Can I get some coffee? qiao yi, bang wo duan ge ka fei |
| [11:41.73] | It doesn' t seem that weird. que shi mei na me guai |
| [11:44.00] | I asked before. You still haven' t gotten it. wo shuo zhen de, wo dian de ka fei hai mei lai |
| [11:48.44] | See, now it' s weird again. xian zai you bian guai le |
| [11:51.34] | You' re gonna make a lot of money. Here' s your first tip. ni lai zhe li gong zuo shi hao shi ni hui zhuan da qian, gei ni yi ge zhong gao |
| [11:56.14] | Don' t eat yellow snow. bu yao xue huai |
| [12:00.85] | 2: 15, coffeehouse. 2 dian 15 fen, ka fei guan |
| [12:05.45] | This is great. Finally, someone I can pass my wisdom to. tai hao le zong suan you ren neng chuan cheng wo de zhi hui |
| [12:08.86] | Let me tell you some things I learned working here. gao su ni ji jian wo zai zhe li xue dao de shi |
| [12:12.99] | First, the customer is always right. shou xian, gu ke yong yuan shi dui de |
| [12:16.26] | A smile goes a long way. wei xiao neng rang ni wu wang bu li |
| [12:20.50] | And if anyone is ever rude to you, sneeze muffin. you ren dui ni bu ke qi jiu chao song bing da pen ti |
| [12:26.14] | Thanks, Rach. xie le |
| [12:29.01] | Hey, look, you guys are just terrific, you know? ni men dui wo zhen hao |
| [12:32.18] | How about clearing out so I can get some new customers? yao bu yao qing chang rang bie ren jin lai le? |
| [12:35.48] | It' s all about turnover. you liu dong cai you shang ji |
| [12:40.79] | Seriously, can I get my coffee? qiao yi, wo xiang he ka fei le |
| [12:44.29] | I' m sorry. I' ll get it right now. bao qian, ma shang lai |
| [12:46.83] | And since you waited, I' ll toss in a free muffin. wo song ni yi kuai song bing zuo bu chang |
| [12:56.07] | Phoebe, we' d like to talk to you. fei bi, wo men xiang gen ni tan tan |
| [12:58.67] | Okay. hao |
| [13:00.17] | So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. huo xu wo shi you dian nan gao |
| [13:03.51] | And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. huo xu rui qiu shi you dian mei ge xing |
| [13:06.65] | But you know what you are? dan ni zhi dao ni shi shen me ma? |
| [13:08.55] | We are sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky. hen bao qian zhe me shuo dan shi ni, fei bi, shi ge guai ren |
| [13:15.72] | That' s true, I am flaky. mei cuo, wo shi hen guai |
| [13:19.03] | So, what, you' re just okay with being flaky? suo yi ni guai ye wu suo wei? |
| [13:22.90] | Yeah, totally. wan quan wu suo wei |
| [13:25.37] | Then I' m okay with being high maintenance. na wo nan gao ye wu suo wei |
| [13:28.10] | Yeah. And I am okay with being a pushover. wo mei ge xing ye wu suo wei |
| [13:31.41] | That' s great. Good for you guys. tai hao le, wu suo wei jiu hao |
| [13:34.28] | I am not high maintenance! I am not a pushover! wo cai bu nan gao wo cai mei you mei ge xing |
| [13:38.51] | Who said you were? You did! shui shuo ni men shi le? ni a |
| [13:40.95] | I' m flaky. I' ll say anything. wo shi guai ren, zhuan men luan shuo hua |
| [13:49.56] | Hey, Gunther. a gan |
| [13:51.06] | Can you cover for me? I got an audition. bang wo dang yi xia, wo jie dao shi jing tong zhi |
| [13:53.76] | No, I' m leaving to get my hair dyed. bu xing, wo yao qu ran tou fa |
| [13:58.10] | I like your natural color. shi ma? wo xi huan ni de zi ran se |
| [14:02.47] | It' s a great part. I' m the lead guy' s best friend. bai tuo la, zhe shi ge hao jue se wo yan nan zhu jue de si dang |
| [14:06.14] | I wait for him and save his seat. Listen. zai jiu ba bang ta zhan wei zi, ni ting |
| [14:09.48] | " I' m sorry, that seat' s saved." bao qian, zhe ge wei zi you ren |
| [14:13.98] | That' s the whole part? Maybe he' s not his best friend. jiu zhe yang? huo xu bu shi ta de si dang, dan shi |
| [14:18.42] | I' ll see you. 1 xiao shi hou jian |
| [14:20.89] | Oh, man. |
| [14:22.66] | I could totally get that part. " I' m sorry, this seat is taken." wo jue dui neng na dao na ge jue se bao qian, zhe ge wei zi you ren |
| [14:26.73] | Excuse me. No, I didn' t mean you. bao qian bu, wo bu shi shuo ni |
| [14:30.26] | But you believed me? dan ni yi wei shi zhen de ba? |
| [14:32.43] | I believed you were saving this seat for someone. wo yi wei ni zai bang bie ren zhan wei |
| [14:36.40] | So you' d hire me, right? suo yi ni hui yong wo luo? |
| [14:39.01] | For what? yong ni gan ma? |
| [14:41.41] | Exactly! All right, everybody listen up! jiu shi shuo ma ge wei qing zhu yi |
| [14:44.31] | The coffeehouse will be closed for about an hour. ben dian yao zan ting ying ye 1 xiao shi |
| [14:47.35] | What? shen me? |
| [14:49.92] | It' s for the kids. hao bang zhu hai zi men |
| [14:51.52] | Yeah, to keep the kids off drugs. bang zhu ta men yuan li du pin |
| [14:54.52] | It' s a very important issue in this month' s Playboy. zhe shi ben qi hua hua gong zi de zhong yao bao dao |
| [14:58.33] | I' m sure you all read about it. ge wei yi ding dou kan guo |
| [15:03.36] | Hey! Don' t you wanna keep guns away from kids? ni bu xiang rang hai zi men yuan li qiang zhi ma? |
| [15:06.57] | You said," drugs." It' s a vicious cycle. Get out! ni gang cai shuo du pin zhe shi e xing xun huan, gun la |
| [15:12.57] | Go! kuai dian |
| [15:25.89] | It' s my joke. It' s my joke. na shi wo de xiao hua shi wo de |
| [15:31.33] | It' s my joke. shi wo de |
| [15:34.70] | I don' t think we' re gonna settle this. wo men zai chao ye chao bu chu jie guo |
| [15:38.17] | Let' s have Monica decide. rang mo ni ka jue ding ba |
| [15:40.57] | Hey, Mon! Get out here! xiao mei qin ai de, chu lai yi xia |
| [15:42.40] | Monica? Okay. mo ni ka |
| [15:44.57] | You have to decide whose joke this is. ni lai jue ding zhe ge xiao hua shi shui de |
| [15:47.14] | Why do I have to? wei shi me yao wo jue ding? |
| [15:48.38] | You' re the only one that can be fair. yin wei ni cai neng ke guan gong zheng |
| [15:50.81] | I can' t be. You' re my boyfriend. wo bu neng, ni shi wo de nan peng you |
| [15:52.88] | But I' m your brother. We' re family. dan wo shi ni ge ge, wo men shi jia ren |
| [15:55.25] | That' s the most important thing in the world. shi shang zui zhong yao de jiu shi qin qing |
| [16:01.06] | Don' t try to sway her. bu yao xiang zuo you ta |
| [16:03.19] | I' m your only chance to have a baby. zhi you wo neng rang ni sheng xiao hai |
| [16:09.93] | Okay, let' s go. All right. wo men kai shi ba hao |
| [16:11.67] | We' ll each tell you how we came up with the joke... wo men hui shuo chu zhe ge xiao hua de you lai |
| [16:15.54] | then you decide which one of us is telling the truth. Me. ni zai jue ding shui shuo de shi shi hua shi wo |
| [16:20.17] | Chandler, you first. qian de, ni xian |
| [16:21.68] | I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve. hao, wo shi 2 ge yue qian gen shi ti fu chi fan shi xiang dao de |
| [16:25.28] | Did I meet him at Christmas? Can I finish? jiu shi sheng dan jie na jia huo ma? rang wo shuo wan hao ma? |
| [16:28.05] | You want me to pick you? ni yao wo xuan ni ma? |
| [16:30.75] | See, I would never snap at you like that. wo jue dui bu hui na yang xiong ni |
| [16:35.92] | Two babies. |
| [16:42.36] | Continue. Okay. qing ji xu |
| [16:43.80] | Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And his doctor' s name is Dr. Mompey. shi ti fu shuo ta qu kan yi sheng ta de yi sheng xing hou qi |
| [16:48.80] | I said, " Dr. Monkey?" And that is how the whole Dr. Monkey thing came up. wo shuo" hou zi yi sheng?" suo yi cai hui you hou zi yi sheng zhe ge xiao hua |
| [16:58.21] | Are you kidding? ni kai shen me wan xiao |
| [17:00.48] | Okay, look, I study evolution. wo shi xue jin hua lun de |
| [17:03.15] | Remember? Evolution. ji de ba? jin hua lun |
| [17:04.82] | Monkey into man. hou zi jin hua cheng ren |
| [17:06.62] | Plus, I' m a doctor. And... kuang qie wo shi bo shi |
| [17:08.56] | I had a monkey. wo hai yang guo hou zi |
| [17:13.73] | I' m Dr. Monkey! wo shi hou zi bo shi |
| [17:18.40] | I' m not arguing with that. zhe dian wo bu gen ni zheng |
| [17:21.07] | I' ve heard enough for my decision. hao, ke yi le, wo jue ding hao le |
| [17:23.34] | Okay, so what..? Do tell. na shi?? |
| [17:25.17] | You are both idiots. ni men liang ge dou shi bai chi |
| [17:29.01] | It' s not funny. And it' s offensive to women. na ge xiao hua bu dan bu hao xiao hai mao fan le nv xing |
| [17:31.85] | And doctors. And monkeys. hai you yi sheng, hai you hou zi |
| [17:35.45] | You shouldn' t argue over who gets credit. ni men bu gai zheng xiao hua shi shui de |
| [17:37.79] | You should argue over who gets blamed for inflicting this joke on the world. ying gai zheng shi shui rang zhe shi jie shou zhe zhong zui |
| [17:42.92] | Now, let it go. bie zai zheng le |
| [17:44.49] | The joke sucks. na ge xiao hua lan tou le |
| [17:52.30] | It' s your joke. It is not. na shi ni de xiao hua cai bu shi |
| [18:09.55] | Oh, my God, Chandler, there you are. Hi. qian de, ni zai zhe li |
| [18:13.79] | Hey, it' s Phoebe and Rachel. shi fei bi he rui qiu |
| [18:16.12] | Why don' t you tell them... ni yao bu yao gao su ta men |
| [18:17.66] | what you told me about me not being high maintenance. ni gang cai shuo wo bing bu nan gao? |
| [18:24.00] | Monica is a selfsufficient, together lady. mo ni ka shi ge zi xin chen zhuo de nv xing |
| [18:29.70] | Being with her has been like being on a vacation. gen ta zai yi qi jiu xiang zai du jia |
| [18:35.14] | And what may be perceived as high maintenance... zhi yu suo wei de nan gao |
| [18:38.21] | is merely attention to detail... zhi shi zhu zhong xiao xi jie... |
| [18:41.01] | and... he |
| [18:43.52] | generosity of spirit. xin ling de kang kai |
| [18:47.69] | Wow. You know what? That is the best fake speech I think I' ve ever heard. zhe zhen shi wo suo ting guo zui bang de jia hua |
| [18:52.66] | Really? I' ve heard better. zhen de? wo ting guo geng bang de |
| [18:55.40] | Wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them. deng deng, na shi ta zi ji shuo de ni gao su ta men |
| [18:59.77] | I' m out of words. Should I say it again? wo yi jing ci qiong le ke yi chong fu jiu hao ma? |
| [19:02.07] | Look, I am not high maintenance! wo yi dian ye bu nan gao |
| [19:04.27] | I am not. Chandler! qian de |
| [19:08.78] | You' re a little high maintenance. ni shi you dian nan gao |
| [19:11.58] | You are on my list! ni shang hei ming dan le |
| [19:14.85] | Look, I' m sorry, but you' re not.. dui bu qi bu guo... |
| [19:17.05] | You' re not easygoing, but you' re passionate. ni bing bu hao xiang chu dan ni hen re qing |
| [19:20.09] | And that' s good. zhe yang hen hao |
| [19:21.59] | And when you get upset about little things, I think I' m pretty good... dang ni wei xiao shi bu gao xing shi wo jue de... |
| [19:25.73] | at making you feel better. wo man neng an fu ni de |
| [19:27.79] | That' s good too. They say you' re high maintenance... na yang ye hen hao suo yi ta men shuo ni nan gao ye xing |
| [19:30.96] | but it' s okay, because I like... yin wei wo xi huan |
| [19:35.30] | maintaining you. gao ding ni |
| [19:45.55] | I didn' t tell him that. wo mei jiao ta shuo zhei xie |
| [19:51.29] | You' re off my list. I' m off the list. ni cong hei ming dan chu ming le wo chu ming le |
| [19:54.42] | Phoebe? fei bi |
| [19:56.89] | It' s okay that you don' t want me to be your girlfriend. ni bu zhao wo dang nv peng you ye mei guan xi |
| [20:00.29] | I have the best boyfriend. yin wei wo you zui bang de nan peng you |
| [20:03.43] | You know, suddenly I find you very attractive. wo tu ran jue de ni hao mi ren |
| [20:10.14] | How' d the audition go? xiong di, shi jing jie guo ru he? |
| [20:11.91] | Oh, not good. No. bu hao |
| [20:13.47] | I didn' t get the part. And I lost my job here, so... wo mei na dao na ge jue se zhe li de gong zuo ye mei le, suo yi |
| [20:17.41] | Wow, that is a bad audition. hao can lie de shi jing |
| [20:21.52] | Well, how did you lose your job here? zhe li de gong zuo wei shen me mei le? |
| [20:24.28] | I had the audition... wo yao qu shi jing |
| [20:25.79] | but Gunther said I had to stay so he could get his hair dyed. dan a gan jiao wo gu dian ta hao qu ran tou fa |
| [20:29.66] | So I went anyway, and he fired me. dan wo hai shi qu le, ta jiu chao wo you yu |
| [20:31.99] | He left work to do a personal errand... ta reng xia gong zuo qu ban si shi |
| [20:35.13] | and left you in charge when you' ve been here two days? jiao cai lai 2 tian de ni gu dian? |
| [20:38.70] | That' s not right. zhe yang bu dui ba |
| [20:40.50] | What are you gonna do? dan shi neng zen me ban? |
| [20:42.60] | You can' t let him get away with that. qiao yi, ni bu neng jiu zhe me suan le |
| [20:45.54] | I won' t let him get away with that. I' m gonna say.. wo jue bu fang guo ta, wo yao qu jiao xun ta |
| [20:48.94] | I shouldn' t say anything. No, I should say something! bu, wo bu gai duo shi bu, wo yao qu jiao xun ta |
| [20:55.55] | Gunther? I want you to give Joey his job back. a gan, rang qiao yi ji xu zai zhe li da gong |
| [20:58.95] | It' s not fair that you have to fire.. Okay. ni zhe yang jie gu ta yi dian ye bu hao |
| [21:06.29] | What? He can have his job back. shen me? ta ke yi ji xu da gong |
| [21:10.23] | That' s right, he can have his job back. mei cuo, ta ke yi ji xu da gong |
| [21:14.77] | Glad we got that all straightened out. jiang tong le jiu hao |
| [21:18.51] | There you go, Joey. hao le |
| [21:20.07] | Got your job back. That' s great. Thanks. ni ke yi ji xu da gong le tai hao le, xie xie ni |
| [21:23.74] | Pretty nice, huh? Now who' s a pushover? bu lai ba? shui mei ge xing le? |
| [21:27.31] | Rach, you' re in my seat. I' m sorry. ni zuo dao wo de wei zi le bao qian |
| [21:35.26] | I never heard who you' d pick to be your girlfriend. ni men dou mei shuo hui zhao shui dang nv peng you |
| [21:38.03] | I' d pick you, Phoebe. Yeah, definitely you, Phoebe. wo xuan ni mei cuo, jue dui shi ni |
| [21:41.70] | Yeah, I kind of thought. wo ye zhe me jue de |
| [21:47.00] | Never. It would totally be you. jue dui shi ni |
| [21:51.87] | If you had to pick one of the other two to go out with... wo you yi ge wen ti ru guo yao zhao ling wai liang ge ren dang nan peng you |
| [21:55.48] | who would you pick? ni men hui zhao shui? |
| [21:57.21] | No way. I' m not answering. shao lai wo ju jue hui da |
| [21:58.81] | Joey. qiao yi |
| [22:03.25] | No way, I' m not answering that. shao lai, wo ju jue hui da |
| [00:04.57] | Hey! You' re not gonna believe this. kuài kàn, nǐ men yí dìng bù xìn |
| [00:06.84] | Yes, Ross, we know they have magazines with pictures of naked women in them. shì de, wǒ men zhī dào nà lǐ miàn yǒu luǒ nǚ de zhào piān |
| [00:11.41] | Don' t tell him about the videos! gào sù tā hái yǒu chū lù yǐng dài |
| [00:14.91] | I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. wǒ biān le yī zé xiào huà jì dào huā huā gōng zǐ |
| [00:17.91] | They printed it. jié guǒ dēng chū lái le |
| [00:21.82] | I didn' t know they print jokes. wǒ bù zhī dào huā huā gōng zǐ yě dēng xiào huà |
| [00:24.05] | They print jokes, interviews, hardhitting journalism. tā men yǒu xiào huà zhuān fǎng zhā shí xīn wén bào dǎo |
| [00:27.02] | It' s not just about the pictures. bìng fēi zhǐ yǒu tú piàn |
| [00:29.06] | Didn' t work on Mom, it' s not gonna work on us. mā bù chī zhè tào, wǒ men yě bù chī |
| [00:32.59] | Check it out. It' s the first one. nǐ men kàn, hái shì dì yī zé |
| [00:36.30] | Right there. yòu biān zhè ér |
| [00:40.24] | That is funny. zhēn hǎo xiào |
| [00:41.74] | It was also funny when I made it up. wǒ biān chū lái shí yě hěn hǎo xiào |
| [00:46.01] | What? I made that joke up. shén me? zhè zé xiào huà shì wǒ biān de |
| [00:48.18] | No, you didn' t. I did. bú shì nǐ, shì wǒ |
| [00:50.28] | Yes, I did. I told Dan and he said it was the funniest joke he' d ever heard. shì wǒ, wǒ shuō gěi gōng sī de dān tīng tā shuō zhè shì tā tīng guò zuì hǎo xiào de xiào huà |
| [00:55.02] | Hey, tell Dan thanks. bāng wǒ xiè xiè dān |
| [01:01.52] | What? zěn yàng? |
| [01:02.79] | I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. bào qiàn, wǒ zài kàn xià miàn nà zé xiào huà nà zé hěn hǎo xiào |
| [01:08.96] | Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right? mó nī kǎ, nǐ jì de wǒ gēn nǐ shuō guò nà zé xiào huà ba? |
| [01:12.63] | No. Seriously? bù jì de zhēn de bù jì de? |
| [01:14.70] | You tell a lot of jokes. nǐ de xiào huà yī dà duī |
| [01:18.37] | Look, it' s my joke. qián dé, nà shi wǒ de xiào huà |
| [01:19.81] | But if it makes you feel better, they don' t print the name. bù guò tā men méi yǒu yìn tóu gǎo rén |
| [01:23.48] | So it doesn' t really matter who gets credit. suǒ yǐ shì shuí de bìng bù zhòng yào, duì ba? |
| [01:26.11] | Yeah, I guess. dà gài ba |
| [01:27.65] | Hey, guys. Playboy printed my joke! nǐ men hǎo qiáo yī, huā huā gōng zǐ dēng le wǒ de xiào huà |
| [01:30.22] | No, it' s mine! Call them! They' ll tell you! bù, nà shi wǒ de xiào huà nǐ dǎ qù wèn jiù zhī dào |
| [01:33.32] | My joke! My joke! nà shi wǒ de xiào huà shì wǒ de |
| [01:34.66] | Whoa, whoa, whoa! |
| [01:36.29] | Jokes? What...? xiào huà? |
| [01:38.29] | You know there' s naked chicks in there, right? nǐ men zhī dào zhè shàng miàn yǒu luǒ nǚ ba? |
| [01:43.20] | The One With The Joke běn jí bō chū:" shuí shì xiào huà guàn jūn" |
| [00:00.00] | |
| [02:21.27] | Dude! You have got to turn on Behind The Music. kuài, gǎn kuài zhuǎn dào" yīn yuè nèi mù" |
| [02:24.27] | The band Heart is having a tough time and they may break up. hóng xīn hé chàng tuán zhuàng kuàng bǎi chū kě néng huì jiě sàn |
| [02:28.11] | Let' s watch that at your place. wǒ men qù nǐ jiā kàn |
| [02:30.28] | Monica' s watching a show. I don' t want to miss when they were skinny. bù xíng, mó nī kǎ zài kàn pēng rèn jié mù kuài diǎn, wǒ xiǎng kàn tā men shòu de shí hòu |
| [02:34.38] | Hey, Chandler? You know what we should do? qián dé, nǐ zhī dào ma? |
| [02:37.22] | You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses. wǒ men yīng gāi qù mǎi xīn mò jìng |
| [02:41.16] | What? No, I want to watch this. shén me? bú yào, wǒ xiǎng kàn diàn shì |
| [02:46.29] | Did your cable go out? No. No, that' s VH1. nǐ de dì sì tái duàn xiàn le ma? bú shì, nà shi VH1 |
| [02:50.33] | I tell you, the music these kids listen to today... xiàn zài de xiǎo péng yǒu tīng de yīn yuè... |
| [02:53.30] | it' s a lot of noise to me. jiǎn zhí shì zào yīn |
| [02:57.47] | Why is your cable out? qiáo yī, dì sì tái wèi shí me méi le? |
| [02:59.41] | Oh, because I haven' t really paid the bill. yīn wèi wǒ méi jiǎo qián |
| [03:03.08] | If you need money, would you please let me loan you some? nǐ ruò quē qián, bài tuō ràng wǒ jiè nǐ hǎo ma |
| [03:06.58] | No, Chandler. Forget about it, okay? bú yào, nǐ bié zài shuō le |
| [03:09.18] | I know things have been tight since Janine moved out. God, was she hot. wǒ zhī dào jí níng zǒu hòu, wǒ yǒu diǎn chī jǐn tiān na, tā kě zhēn là |
| [03:13.96] | I know, yeah. jiù shì a |
| [03:15.46] | Look, I can handle it, all right? I can listen to the radio. dàn shì wǒ kě yǐ yìng fù, hǎo ma? wǒ kě yǐ tīng guǎng bō |
| [03:19.63] | And Ross gave me this great book. luó sī yě gěi le wǒ yī běn hěn bàng de shū |
| [03:23.46] | Want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch at his place? yào bú yào wèn nà gè xiào huà xiǎo tōu wǒ men néng bù néng qù tā jiā kàn? |
| [03:27.34] | Sure. hǎo a |
| [03:30.71] | Paid your phone bill? No. diàn huà fèi yǒu jiǎo ma? méi zěn me zài jiǎo |
| [03:42.35] | It' s only you. yuán lái shì nǐ |
| [03:44.79] | What are you doing? Looking at a Playboy. nǐ men zài kàn shén me? wǒ men zài kàn huā huā gōng zǐ |
| [03:47.69] | I want to look too! wǒ yě xiǎng kàn |
| [03:52.06] | Yikes! hào wù |
| [03:55.00] | Do you think these pictures are trying to tell a story? zhèi xiē zhào piān shì yǒu gù shì xìng ma? |
| [03:58.97] | Sure. Like in the case of this young woman... dāng rán yǒu, xiàng zhè wèi nián qīng xiǎo jiě |
| [04:01.90] | she has lost her clothes. tā de yī fú bú jiàn le |
| [04:04.37] | So she rides naked on the horse, she' s crying out, " Where are they?" suǒ yǐ tā guāng liū liū de qí zhe mǎ dà hǎn " wǒ de yī fú ne?" |
| [04:10.65] | She' s not gonna find them, lying in the grass like that. guāng tǎng zài cǎo dì shàng shì zhǎo bu dào de |
| [04:18.69] | Remember the days when you' d go out to the barn... jì bù jì de yǐ qián qù gǔ cāng |
| [04:21.49] | Lift up your shirt and bend over? xiān qǐ yī fú qiào qǐ pì gǔ de rì zi? |
| [04:27.76] | You see, now, I would date this girl. bù guò wǒ huì yuē zhè gè nǚ shēng |
| [04:31.10] | She' s cute, she' s outdoorsy. tā hěn kě ài, hěn yáng guāng |
| [04:34.04] | And she knows how to build a fire. That' ll come in handy. ér qiě tā huì shēng huǒ, kě yǐ pài shàng yòng chǎng |
| [04:37.87] | I got a question. wǒ yǒu yí gè wèn tí |
| [04:39.27] | If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be? rú guǒ yào zài wǒ men dāng zhōng tiāo nǚ péng yǒu nǐ men huì tiāo shuí? |
| [04:43.71] | I don' t know. Me neither. bù zhī dào wǒ yě bù zhī dào |
| [04:45.58] | Rachel. ruì qiū |
| [04:48.08] | What? shén me? |
| [04:50.72] | I don' t know. bù zhī dào |
| [04:53.39] | Me neither. wǒ yě bù zhī dào |
| [04:58.53] | You know, you forget how many great songs Heart had. wǒ dōu wàng le hóng xīn hé chàng tuán yǒu nà me duō jīng diǎn |
| [05:04.37] | " Barracuda" was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard. " Barracuda" shì wǒ liàn jiàn pán xué de dì yī shǒu gē |
| [05:09.30] | So you heard it, you repeated it... nǐ tīng guò, dàn guò |
| [05:12.24] | so that must mean you wrote it. suǒ yǐ nà shǒu gē shì nǐ xiě de luó? |
| [05:16.98] | You guys with this joke. Well, I gotta say... nǐ men zěn me hái zhēng a? lǎo shí shuō |
| [05:20.05] | I know I cracked up, but I' m not even sure I got it. wǒ yǒu dà xiào, dàn shì wǒ kàn bù tài dǒng |
| [05:23.22] | What? shén me? |
| [05:25.15] | You didn' t get it? nǐ kàn bu dǒng? |
| [05:26.65] | The doctor is a monkey. nà gè yī shēng shì zhǐ hóu zi |
| [05:30.49] | And monkeys can' t write out prescriptions. hóu zi méi bàn fǎ kāi chǔ fāng |
| [05:35.63] | You are not allowed to laugh at my joke. wǒ de xiào huà bù zhǔn nǐ xiào |
| [05:39.17] | Your joke? nǐ de xiào huà? |
| [05:40.80] | Well, I think the Hef would disagree. hǎi fū nà kě bù tóng yì huā huā gōng zǐ chuàng bàn rén |
| [05:43.97] | Which is why he sent me a check... suǒ yǐ tā jì le zhè zhāng zhī piào gěi wǒ |
| [05:46.47] | for 100. 100 měi yuán |
| [05:48.91] | So you stole my joke and you stole my money? nǐ tōu wǒ de xiào huà, hái tōu wǒ de qián |
| [05:52.58] | I was gonna stick it in the ATM. wǒ běn lái yào yà jìn guì yuán jī lǐ |
| [05:54.78] | But now I think I' ll show the sexy teller... xiàn zài wǒ jué dìng ràng nà wèi xìng gǎn nǚ guì yuán |
| [05:57.92] | that I am a published writer. zhī dào wǒ shì gè zuò jiā |
| [06:00.96] | She' ll know that you stole the joke. tā huì zhī dào nǐ shì tōu lái de |
| [06:03.42] | You gonna follow me there? nǐ xiǎng zěn yàng, gēn zhe wǒ qù ma? |
| [06:05.13] | Yeah. I' m not gonna go now. méi cuò fǎn zhèng wǒ xiàn zài yòu bù qù |
| [06:07.16] | Okay. hǎo |
| [06:11.27] | Here you go. zhàng dān |
| [06:15.80] | Gunther? ā gān |
| [06:17.54] | I can' t pay now, because I' m not working. wǒ xiàn zài bù néng fù wǒ méi gōng zuò |
| [06:20.27] | I' ve had to cut down on some luxuries like... dé jié shěng bù bì yào de kāi xiāo |
| [06:23.11] | paying for stuff, so.... xiàng fù zhàng zhī lèi de |
| [06:27.28] | Well, if you want, you can work here. nǐ kě yǐ lái zhè lǐ gōng zuò |
| [06:30.18] | I don' t know. wǒ bù xiǎo de |
| [06:31.65] | It' s just.... |
| [06:33.39] | See, I was a regular on a soap opera, you know? wǒ yǎn guò lián xù jù |
| [06:36.86] | And to go from that to this, it' s just.... cóng míng xīng dào fú wù shēng, wǒ shí zài |
| [06:40.06] | And plus, I' d have to wait on all my friends. ér qiě hái dé zhāo hū wǒ de péng yǒu |
| [06:43.20] | Okay. But the money' s good. hǎo, dàn xīn shuǐ hěn gāo |
| [06:45.07] | Plus, you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want. hái kě yǐ kàn ruì qiū kàn gè gòu |
| [06:50.57] | What? shén me? |
| [06:52.07] | Flexible hours. tán xìng gōng zuò shí jiān |
| [06:55.41] | Maybe I could be a waiter. yě xǔ kě yǐ ō |
| [06:57.48] | Could I use the phone? kě yǐ yòng diàn huà ma? |
| [07:06.19] | She picked Rachel. tā xuǎn ruì qiū |
| [07:07.69] | She tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel. tā xiǎng gǎi kǒu dàn shì hěn míng xiǎn, tā xuǎn ruì qiū |
| [07:12.59] | He took my joke. He just took it. tā tōu le wǒ de xiào huà |
| [07:16.26] | This is wrong. You know what else is wrong? zhè yàng shì bú duì de hái yǒu shén me shì bú duì de? |
| [07:19.17] | Phoebe picking Rachel. fēi bǐ xuǎn le ruì qiū |
| [07:21.17] | Know who else picked Rachel? Ross. hái yǒu shuí huì xuǎn ruì qiū? |
| [07:23.24] | Know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. luó sī, luó sī hái zuò le shén me? tā tōu le wǒ de xiào huà |
| [07:27.74] | I' m gonna get a joke journal, you know? wǒ yào mǎi yī běn xiào huà rì zhì |
| [07:30.38] | And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes. jì lù wǒ měi cì jiǎng xiào huà de rì qī shí jiān |
| [07:34.02] | Good idea. Know what' s a bad idea? hǎo zhǔ yì nǐ zhī dào shén me zhǔ yì bù hǎo? |
| [07:36.55] | Picking Rachel. That' s right. xuǎn zé ruì qiū méi cuò |
| [07:41.59] | Did you hear something? shén me shēng yīn? |
| [07:43.26] | Maybe it' s the sound of Ross climbing into my brain to steal my thoughts. yě xǔ shì luó sī pá jìn wǒ de nǎo dài qiè qǔ wǒ de sī xù |
| [07:48.10] | It' s coming from the living room. shì kè tīng chuán lái de |
| [07:56.57] | I finished my book. wǒ de shū kàn wán le |
| [08:05.55] | Hey, you guys. Hey. nǐ men hǎo |
| [08:08.25] | Don' t you guys look cute. nǐ men hǎo kě ài |
| [08:10.79] | You guys make a cute couple. zhēn shì kě ài de yī duì |
| [08:14.16] | What are you doing? mó nī kǎ, nǐ zài gàn ma? |
| [08:15.82] | Just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place. méi shén me wǒ zhǐ shì xiǎng zhì zào chū qián liǎng tiān de lè qù |
| [08:20.16] | Remember? When you picked Rachel over me? jiù shì nǐ xuǎn ruì qiū bù xuǎn wǒ nà cì |
| [08:22.63] | That was funny. duō hǎo wán a |
| [08:25.40] | It was kind of funny. It wasn' t funny at all! shì mán hǎo wán de yì diǎn yě bù hǎo wán |
| [08:29.57] | Why would you do that? nǐ wèi shí me xuǎn tā? |
| [08:31.44] | Why didn' t you pick me? wèi shí me bù xuǎn wǒ? |
| [08:33.61] | Fine. hǎo |
| [08:35.28] | The reason I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you... wǒ zhī suǒ yǐ bǐ jiào qīng xiàng ruì qiū |
| [08:39.48] | is just, you know, you' re... shì yīn wèi nǐ |
| [08:42.02] | high maintenance. Let' s go to lunch! yǒu diǎn nán gǎo wǒ men qù chī fàn ba |
| [08:44.42] | That is completely untrue. nǎ yǒu zhè huí shì |
| [08:47.02] | You think I' m high maintenance? Prove it. nǐ jué de wǒ nán gǎo? zhèng míng gěi wǒ kàn |
| [08:49.62] | You write out a list, and we' ll go through it point by point. nǐ liè yī zhāng qīng dān wǒ men zhú tiáo tǎo lùn |
| [08:55.36] | No, you' re right, you' re easygoing. nǐ shuō de duì, nǐ hěn hǎo xiāng chǔ |
| [08:59.33] | You' re just not as easygoing as Rachel. She' s just more... nǐ zhǐ shì méi yǒu ruì qiū nà me hǎo xiāng chǔ tā bǐ jiào... |
| [09:03.27] | flexible and mellow. That' s all. yǒu tán xìng, bǐ jiào yuán róng |
| [09:08.94] | Well, people are different. měi ge rén dōu bù yí yàng |
| [09:12.21] | Rachel will do whatever you want. You can just walk all over her. ruì qiū shén me dōu hǎo zěn me qī fù tā dōu xíng |
| [09:17.39] | What? Are you saying that I' m a pushover? I' m not a pushover. màn zhe, nǐ shì shuō wǒ méi gè xìng ma? wǒ cái méi yǒu |
| [09:21.62] | Oh, okay. You' re not a pushover. hǎo, nǐ yǒu gè xìng |
| [09:26.29] | You think I' m a pushover. Well, watch this. tiān na, nǐ jué de wǒ méi gè xìng nǐ tīng zhe |
| [09:29.36] | You' re not invited to lunch! wǒ men bù gēn nǐ chī fàn le |
| [09:31.47] | What do you think? Pretty strong, I think. zěn me yàng? gòu qiáng yìng le ba? |
| [09:34.24] | Come on, Monica, let' s go to lunch. mó nī kǎ, wǒ men qù chī fàn |
| [09:38.67] | You start working on that list. bǎ qīng dān liè chū lái |
| [09:42.64] | I cannot believe her. I know. Where do you want to eat? tā zhēn shì tài chě le jiù shì a, nǐ xiǎng chī shén me? |
| [09:47.25] | Oh, I love that Japanese place. I' m sick of Japanese. Not there. wǒ hěn xǐ huān nà jiā rì běn liào lǐ wǒ chī nì rì běn cài le, bú yào qù nà jiā |
| [09:51.32] | Wherever you want to go is cool. nà kàn nǐ xiǎng qù nǎ lǐ |
| [09:58.76] | Oh, hey, Gunther... ā gān |
| [10:00.33] | check this out. nǐ kàn |
| [10:04.57] | Yeah, that Chandler cracks me up. nà gè qián dé zhēn de hěn hǎo xiào |
| [10:11.24] | You want anything to drink? I' m heading up there. luó sī, nǐ yào hē shén me ma? wǒ yào qù guì tái |
| [10:14.61] | I' ll take a coffee. Thanks. Sure. yào, wǒ yào kā fēi, xiè le bù kè qì |
| [10:17.41] | Coffee? No. kā fēi? bú yào |
| [10:18.91] | Coffee? I' m going up there. yào kā fēi ma? wǒ yào qù guì tái |
| [10:20.68] | No, thank you. bù yòng le xiè xiè |
| [10:23.42] | You need anything? I' m heading up there. xū yào shén me ma? wǒ yào qù guì tái |
| [10:26.39] | I' d love ice water. wǒ yào yī bēi bīng shuǐ |
| [10:27.89] | You got it. méi wèn tí |
| [10:30.76] | What are you doing? qiáo yī, nǐ zài gàn shén me? |
| [10:32.36] | Just being friendly. biǎo shì yǒu shàn a |
| [10:35.93] | You' re not supposed to go back there. qiáo yī, nǐ bù néng qù guì tái hòu miàn |
| [10:38.70] | It' s okay. Right? méi guān xì la, duì ba, ā gān? |
| [10:41.90] | Don' t wink at me. bié gēn wǒ shǐ yǎn sè |
| [10:44.74] | And put on your apron. bǎ wéi qún chuān shang |
| [10:48.64] | Okay. chuān jiù chuān |
| [10:50.14] | I don' t see you asking other paying customers to put on aprons. nǐ zěn me bù jiào qí tā kè rén chuān wéi qún |
| [10:55.12] | Joey, do you work here? No. qiáo yī, nǐ zài zhè lǐ dǎ gōng ma? méi yǒu |
| [10:58.09] | Waiter. Yeah! fú wù shēng shén me shì? |
| [11:02.99] | What' s going on? Why didn' t you tell us you work here? qiáo yī, zěn me huí shì? nǐ wèi shí me bù gào sù wǒ men? |
| [11:09.40] | It' s kind of embarrassing. I mean, I was an actor, now I' m a waiter. zhè jiàn shì mán gān gà de wǒ zhī qián shì yǎn yuán, xiàn zài shì fú wù shēng |
| [11:13.83] | It' s supposed to go the other direction. yì bān yīng gāi fǎn guò lái cái duì |
| [11:16.74] | So' s your apron. You' re wearing it like a cape. nǐ de wéi qún yě fǎn chuān chéng pī fēng le |
| [11:20.78] | I mean, the job' s easy and the money' s good, you know? zhè fèn gōng zuò hěn jiǎn dān, xīn shuǐ hěn gāo |
| [11:24.11] | I guess if I' m hanging out here, I might as well get paid for it. fǎn zhèng wǒ dōu zài zhè hùn, gān cuì zhuàn gè qián |
| [11:28.28] | I just feel kind of weird serving you guys, you know? zhǐ shì yào zhāo hū nǐ men gǎn jué hěn guài |
| [11:31.82] | It' ll be great. |
| [11:33.25] | Come on, I did it and it was fine. wǒ yě zuò guò, hái hǎo a |
| [11:35.82] | Why would it be weird? duì a, zěn me huì guài? |
| [11:37.59] | Hey, Joey? Can I get some coffee? qiáo yī, bāng wǒ duān gè kā fēi |
| [11:41.73] | It doesn' t seem that weird. què shí méi nà me guài |
| [11:44.00] | I asked before. You still haven' t gotten it. wǒ shuō zhēn de, wǒ diǎn de kā fēi hái méi lái |
| [11:48.44] | See, now it' s weird again. xiàn zài yòu biàn guài le |
| [11:51.34] | You' re gonna make a lot of money. Here' s your first tip. nǐ lái zhè lǐ gōng zuò shì hǎo shì nǐ huì zhuàn dà qián, gěi nǐ yí gè zhōng gào |
| [11:56.14] | Don' t eat yellow snow. bú yào xué huài |
| [12:00.85] | 2: 15, coffeehouse. 2 diǎn 15 fēn, kā fēi guǎn |
| [12:05.45] | This is great. Finally, someone I can pass my wisdom to. tài hǎo le zǒng suàn yǒu rén néng chuán chéng wǒ de zhì huì |
| [12:08.86] | Let me tell you some things I learned working here. gào sù nǐ jǐ jiàn wǒ zài zhè lǐ xué dào de shì |
| [12:12.99] | First, the customer is always right. shǒu xiān, gù kè yǒng yuǎn shì duì de |
| [12:16.26] | A smile goes a long way. wēi xiào néng ràng nǐ wú wǎng bù lì |
| [12:20.50] | And if anyone is ever rude to you, sneeze muffin. yǒu rén duì nǐ bù kè qì jiù cháo sōng bǐng dǎ pēn tì |
| [12:26.14] | Thanks, Rach. xiè le |
| [12:29.01] | Hey, look, you guys are just terrific, you know? nǐ men duì wǒ zhēn hǎo |
| [12:32.18] | How about clearing out so I can get some new customers? yào bú yào qīng chǎng ràng bié rén jìn lái le? |
| [12:35.48] | It' s all about turnover. yǒu liú dòng cái yǒu shāng jī |
| [12:40.79] | Seriously, can I get my coffee? qiáo yī, wǒ xiǎng hē kā fēi le |
| [12:44.29] | I' m sorry. I' ll get it right now. bào qiàn, mǎ shàng lái |
| [12:46.83] | And since you waited, I' ll toss in a free muffin. wǒ sòng nǐ yí kuài sōng bǐng zuò bǔ cháng |
| [12:56.07] | Phoebe, we' d like to talk to you. fēi bǐ, wǒ men xiǎng gēn nǐ tán tán |
| [12:58.67] | Okay. hǎo |
| [13:00.17] | So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. huò xǔ wǒ shì yǒu diǎn nán gǎo |
| [13:03.51] | And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. huò xǔ ruì qiū shì yǒu diǎn méi gè xìng |
| [13:06.65] | But you know what you are? dàn nǐ zhī dào nǐ shì shén me ma? |
| [13:08.55] | We are sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky. hěn bào qiàn zhè me shuō dàn shì nǐ, fēi bǐ, shì gè guài rén |
| [13:15.72] | That' s true, I am flaky. méi cuò, wǒ shì hěn guài |
| [13:19.03] | So, what, you' re just okay with being flaky? suǒ yǐ nǐ guài yě wú suǒ wèi? |
| [13:22.90] | Yeah, totally. wán quán wú suǒ wèi |
| [13:25.37] | Then I' m okay with being high maintenance. nà wǒ nán gǎo yě wú suǒ wèi |
| [13:28.10] | Yeah. And I am okay with being a pushover. wǒ méi gè xìng yě wú suǒ wèi |
| [13:31.41] | That' s great. Good for you guys. tài hǎo le, wú suǒ wèi jiù hǎo |
| [13:34.28] | I am not high maintenance! I am not a pushover! wǒ cái bù nán gǎo wǒ cái méi yǒu méi gè xìng |
| [13:38.51] | Who said you were? You did! shuí shuō nǐ men shì le? nǐ a |
| [13:40.95] | I' m flaky. I' ll say anything. wǒ shì guài rén, zhuān mén luàn shuō huà |
| [13:49.56] | Hey, Gunther. ā gān |
| [13:51.06] | Can you cover for me? I got an audition. bāng wǒ dǎng yī xià, wǒ jiē dào shì jìng tōng zhī |
| [13:53.76] | No, I' m leaving to get my hair dyed. bù xíng, wǒ yào qù rǎn tóu fà |
| [13:58.10] | I like your natural color. shì ma? wǒ xǐ huān nǐ de zì rán sè |
| [14:02.47] | It' s a great part. I' m the lead guy' s best friend. bài tuō la, zhè shì gè hǎo jué sè wǒ yǎn nán zhǔ jué de sǐ dǎng |
| [14:06.14] | I wait for him and save his seat. Listen. zài jiǔ bā bāng tā zhàn wèi zi, nǐ tīng |
| [14:09.48] | " I' m sorry, that seat' s saved." bào qiàn, zhè gè wèi zi yǒu rén |
| [14:13.98] | That' s the whole part? Maybe he' s not his best friend. jiù zhè yàng? huò xǔ bú shì tā de sǐ dǎng, dàn shì |
| [14:18.42] | I' ll see you. 1 xiǎo shí hòu jiàn |
| [14:20.89] | Oh, man. |
| [14:22.66] | I could totally get that part. " I' m sorry, this seat is taken." wǒ jué duì néng ná dào nà gè jué sè bào qiàn, zhè gè wèi zi yǒu rén |
| [14:26.73] | Excuse me. No, I didn' t mean you. bào qiàn bù, wǒ bú shì shuō nǐ |
| [14:30.26] | But you believed me? dàn nǐ yǐ wéi shì zhēn de ba? |
| [14:32.43] | I believed you were saving this seat for someone. wǒ yǐ wéi nǐ zài bāng bié rén zhàn wèi |
| [14:36.40] | So you' d hire me, right? suǒ yǐ nǐ huì yòng wǒ luó? |
| [14:39.01] | For what? yòng nǐ gàn ma? |
| [14:41.41] | Exactly! All right, everybody listen up! jiù shì shuō ma gè wèi qǐng zhù yì |
| [14:44.31] | The coffeehouse will be closed for about an hour. běn diàn yào zàn tíng yíng yè 1 xiǎo shí |
| [14:47.35] | What? shén me? |
| [14:49.92] | It' s for the kids. hǎo bāng zhù hái zi men |
| [14:51.52] | Yeah, to keep the kids off drugs. bāng zhù tā men yuǎn lí dú pǐn |
| [14:54.52] | It' s a very important issue in this month' s Playboy. zhè shì běn qī huā huā gōng zǐ de zhòng yào bào dǎo |
| [14:58.33] | I' m sure you all read about it. gè wèi yí dìng dōu kàn guò |
| [15:03.36] | Hey! Don' t you wanna keep guns away from kids? nǐ bù xiǎng ràng hái zi men yuǎn lí qiāng zhī ma? |
| [15:06.57] | You said," drugs." It' s a vicious cycle. Get out! nǐ gāng cái shuō dú pǐn zhè shì è xìng xún huán, gǔn la |
| [15:12.57] | Go! kuài diǎn |
| [15:25.89] | It' s my joke. It' s my joke. nà shi wǒ de xiào huà shì wǒ de |
| [15:31.33] | It' s my joke. shì wǒ de |
| [15:34.70] | I don' t think we' re gonna settle this. wǒ men zài chǎo yě chǎo bù chū jié guǒ |
| [15:38.17] | Let' s have Monica decide. ràng mó nī kǎ jué dìng ba |
| [15:40.57] | Hey, Mon! Get out here! xiǎo mèi qīn ài de, chū lái yī xià |
| [15:42.40] | Monica? Okay. mó nī kǎ |
| [15:44.57] | You have to decide whose joke this is. nǐ lái jué dìng zhè gè xiào huà shì shuí de |
| [15:47.14] | Why do I have to? wèi shí me yào wǒ jué dìng? |
| [15:48.38] | You' re the only one that can be fair. yīn wèi nǐ cái néng kè guān gōng zhèng |
| [15:50.81] | I can' t be. You' re my boyfriend. wǒ bù néng, nǐ shì wǒ de nán péng yǒu |
| [15:52.88] | But I' m your brother. We' re family. dàn wǒ shì nǐ gē ge, wǒ men shì jiā rén |
| [15:55.25] | That' s the most important thing in the world. shì shàng zuì zhòng yào de jiù shì qīn qíng |
| [16:01.06] | Don' t try to sway her. bú yào xiǎng zuǒ yòu tā |
| [16:03.19] | I' m your only chance to have a baby. zhǐ yǒu wǒ néng ràng nǐ shēng xiǎo hái |
| [16:09.93] | Okay, let' s go. All right. wǒ men kāi shǐ ba hǎo |
| [16:11.67] | We' ll each tell you how we came up with the joke... wǒ men huì shuō chū zhè gè xiào huà de yóu lái |
| [16:15.54] | then you decide which one of us is telling the truth. Me. nǐ zài jué dìng shuí shuō de shì shí huà shì wǒ |
| [16:20.17] | Chandler, you first. qián dé, nǐ xiān |
| [16:21.68] | I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve. hǎo, wǒ shì 2 gè yuè qián gēn shǐ tí fū chī fàn shí xiǎng dào de |
| [16:25.28] | Did I meet him at Christmas? Can I finish? jiù shì shèng dàn jié nà jiā huǒ ma? ràng wǒ shuō wán hǎo ma? |
| [16:28.05] | You want me to pick you? nǐ yào wǒ xuǎn nǐ ma? |
| [16:30.75] | See, I would never snap at you like that. wǒ jué duì bú huì nà yàng xiōng nǐ |
| [16:35.92] | Two babies. |
| [16:42.36] | Continue. Okay. qǐng jì xù |
| [16:43.80] | Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And his doctor' s name is Dr. Mompey. shǐ tí fū shuō tā qù kàn yī shēng tā de yī shēng xìng hóu qí |
| [16:48.80] | I said, " Dr. Monkey?" And that is how the whole Dr. Monkey thing came up. wǒ shuō" hóu zi yī shēng?" suǒ yǐ cái huì yǒu hóu zi yī shēng zhè gè xiào huà |
| [16:58.21] | Are you kidding? nǐ kāi shén me wán xiào |
| [17:00.48] | Okay, look, I study evolution. wǒ shì xué jìn huà lùn de |
| [17:03.15] | Remember? Evolution. jì de ba? jìn huà lùn |
| [17:04.82] | Monkey into man. hóu zi jìn huà chéng rén |
| [17:06.62] | Plus, I' m a doctor. And... kuàng qiě wǒ shì bó shì |
| [17:08.56] | I had a monkey. wǒ hái yǎng guò hóu zi |
| [17:13.73] | I' m Dr. Monkey! wǒ shì hóu zi bó shì |
| [17:18.40] | I' m not arguing with that. zhè diǎn wǒ bù gēn nǐ zhēng |
| [17:21.07] | I' ve heard enough for my decision. hǎo, kě yǐ le, wǒ jué dìng hǎo le |
| [17:23.34] | Okay, so what..? Do tell. nà shi?? |
| [17:25.17] | You are both idiots. nǐ men liǎng gè dōu shì bái chī |
| [17:29.01] | It' s not funny. And it' s offensive to women. nà gè xiào huà bù dàn bù hǎo xiào hái mào fàn le nǚ xìng |
| [17:31.85] | And doctors. And monkeys. hái yǒu yī shēng, hái yǒu hóu zi |
| [17:35.45] | You shouldn' t argue over who gets credit. nǐ men bù gāi zhēng xiào huà shì shuí de |
| [17:37.79] | You should argue over who gets blamed for inflicting this joke on the world. yīng gāi zhēng shì shuí ràng zhè shì jiè shòu zhè zhǒng zuì |
| [17:42.92] | Now, let it go. bié zài zhēng le |
| [17:44.49] | The joke sucks. nà gè xiào huà làn tòu le |
| [17:52.30] | It' s your joke. It is not. nà shi nǐ de xiào huà cái bú shì |
| [18:09.55] | Oh, my God, Chandler, there you are. Hi. qián dé, nǐ zài zhè lǐ |
| [18:13.79] | Hey, it' s Phoebe and Rachel. shì fēi bǐ hé ruì qiū |
| [18:16.12] | Why don' t you tell them... nǐ yào bú yào gào sù tā men |
| [18:17.66] | what you told me about me not being high maintenance. nǐ gāng cái shuō wǒ bìng bù nán gǎo? |
| [18:24.00] | Monica is a selfsufficient, together lady. mó nī kǎ shì gè zì xìn chén zhuó de nǚ xìng |
| [18:29.70] | Being with her has been like being on a vacation. gēn tā zài yì qǐ jiù xiàng zài dù jià |
| [18:35.14] | And what may be perceived as high maintenance... zhì yú suǒ wèi de nán gǎo |
| [18:38.21] | is merely attention to detail... zhǐ shì zhù zhòng xiǎo xì jié... |
| [18:41.01] | and... hé |
| [18:43.52] | generosity of spirit. xīn líng de kāng kǎi |
| [18:47.69] | Wow. You know what? That is the best fake speech I think I' ve ever heard. zhè zhēn shì wǒ suǒ tīng guò zuì bàng de jiǎ huà |
| [18:52.66] | Really? I' ve heard better. zhēn de? wǒ tīng guò gèng bàng de |
| [18:55.40] | Wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them. děng děng, nà shi tā zì jǐ shuō de nǐ gào sù tā men |
| [18:59.77] | I' m out of words. Should I say it again? wǒ yǐ jīng cí qióng le kě yǐ chóng fù jiù hǎo ma? |
| [19:02.07] | Look, I am not high maintenance! wǒ yì diǎn yě bù nán gǎo |
| [19:04.27] | I am not. Chandler! qián dé |
| [19:08.78] | You' re a little high maintenance. nǐ shì yǒu diǎn nán gǎo |
| [19:11.58] | You are on my list! nǐ shàng hēi míng dān le |
| [19:14.85] | Look, I' m sorry, but you' re not.. duì bù qǐ bù guò... |
| [19:17.05] | You' re not easygoing, but you' re passionate. nǐ bìng bù hǎo xiāng chǔ dàn nǐ hěn rè qíng |
| [19:20.09] | And that' s good. zhè yàng hěn hǎo |
| [19:21.59] | And when you get upset about little things, I think I' m pretty good... dāng nǐ wèi xiǎo shì bù gāo xìng shí wǒ jué de... |
| [19:25.73] | at making you feel better. wǒ mán néng ān fǔ nǐ de |
| [19:27.79] | That' s good too. They say you' re high maintenance... nà yàng yě hěn hǎo suǒ yǐ tā men shuō nǐ nán gǎo yě xíng |
| [19:30.96] | but it' s okay, because I like... yīn wèi wǒ xǐ huān |
| [19:35.30] | maintaining you. gǎo dìng nǐ |
| [19:45.55] | I didn' t tell him that. wǒ méi jiào tā shuō zhèi xiē |
| [19:51.29] | You' re off my list. I' m off the list. nǐ cóng hēi míng dān chú míng le wǒ chú míng le |
| [19:54.42] | Phoebe? fēi bǐ |
| [19:56.89] | It' s okay that you don' t want me to be your girlfriend. nǐ bù zhǎo wǒ dāng nǚ péng yǒu yě méi guān xì |
| [20:00.29] | I have the best boyfriend. yīn wèi wǒ yǒu zuì bàng de nán péng yǒu |
| [20:03.43] | You know, suddenly I find you very attractive. wǒ tū rán jué de nǐ hǎo mí rén |
| [20:10.14] | How' d the audition go? xiōng dì, shì jìng jié guǒ rú hé? |
| [20:11.91] | Oh, not good. No. bù hǎo |
| [20:13.47] | I didn' t get the part. And I lost my job here, so... wǒ méi ná dào nà gè jué sè zhè lǐ de gōng zuò yě méi le, suǒ yǐ |
| [20:17.41] | Wow, that is a bad audition. hǎo cǎn liè de shì jìng |
| [20:21.52] | Well, how did you lose your job here? zhè lǐ de gōng zuò wéi shén me méi le? |
| [20:24.28] | I had the audition... wǒ yào qù shì jìng |
| [20:25.79] | but Gunther said I had to stay so he could get his hair dyed. dàn ā gān jiào wǒ gù diàn tā hǎo qù rǎn tóu fà |
| [20:29.66] | So I went anyway, and he fired me. dàn wǒ hái shì qù le, tā jiù chǎo wǒ yóu yú |
| [20:31.99] | He left work to do a personal errand... tā rēng xià gōng zuò qù bàn sī shì |
| [20:35.13] | and left you in charge when you' ve been here two days? jiào cái lái 2 tiān de nǐ gù diàn? |
| [20:38.70] | That' s not right. zhè yàng bú duì ba |
| [20:40.50] | What are you gonna do? dàn shì néng zěn me bàn? |
| [20:42.60] | You can' t let him get away with that. qiáo yī, nǐ bù néng jiù zhè me suàn le |
| [20:45.54] | I won' t let him get away with that. I' m gonna say.. wǒ jué bù fàng guò tā, wǒ yào qù jiào xùn tā |
| [20:48.94] | I shouldn' t say anything. No, I should say something! bù, wǒ bù gāi duō shì bù, wǒ yào qù jiào xùn tā |
| [20:55.55] | Gunther? I want you to give Joey his job back. ā gān, ràng qiáo yī jì xù zài zhè lǐ dǎ gōng |
| [20:58.95] | It' s not fair that you have to fire.. Okay. nǐ zhè yàng jiě gù tā yì diǎn yě bù hǎo |
| [21:06.29] | What? He can have his job back. shén me? tā kě yǐ jì xù dǎ gōng |
| [21:10.23] | That' s right, he can have his job back. méi cuò, tā kě yǐ jì xù dǎ gōng |
| [21:14.77] | Glad we got that all straightened out. jiǎng tōng le jiù hǎo |
| [21:18.51] | There you go, Joey. hǎo le |
| [21:20.07] | Got your job back. That' s great. Thanks. nǐ kě yǐ jì xù dǎ gōng le tài hǎo le, xiè xiè nǐ |
| [21:23.74] | Pretty nice, huh? Now who' s a pushover? bù lài ba? shuí méi gè xìng le? |
| [21:27.31] | Rach, you' re in my seat. I' m sorry. nǐ zuò dào wǒ de wèi zi le bào qiàn |
| [21:35.26] | I never heard who you' d pick to be your girlfriend. nǐ men dōu méi shuō huì zhǎo shuí dāng nǚ péng yǒu |
| [21:38.03] | I' d pick you, Phoebe. Yeah, definitely you, Phoebe. wǒ xuǎn nǐ méi cuò, jué duì shì nǐ |
| [21:41.70] | Yeah, I kind of thought. wǒ yě zhè me jué de |
| [21:47.00] | Never. It would totally be you. jué duì shì nǐ |
| [21:51.87] | If you had to pick one of the other two to go out with... wǒ yǒu yí gè wèn tí rú guǒ yào zhǎo lìng wài liǎng gè rén dāng nán péng yǒu |
| [21:55.48] | who would you pick? nǐ men huì zhǎo shuí? |
| [21:57.21] | No way. I' m not answering. shǎo lái wǒ jù jué huí dá |
| [21:58.81] | Joey. qiáo yī |
| [22:03.25] | No way, I' m not answering that. shǎo lái, wǒ jù jué huí dá |
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