| [00:20.-2] | Do we have to know about that? |
| [01:02.-2] | -Where have you been? -We stopped at the gift shop. - |
| [01:19.-3] | The One With the Birth |
| [02:19.-1] | I understand you're thinking of having a baby. |
| [02:30.-3] | Each one's like a little party in my uterus. |
| [05:40.-1] | Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack. |
| [08:36.-3] | -She started it. -He did. |
| [10:16.-3] | Are they here yet? |
| [10:47.-3] | If you find anyone, or parts of anyone... |
| [11:19.-3] | Push him out,push him out. Harder,harder. |
| [22:13.-1] | Nothing. I don't think that's his name. |
| [00:06.92] | She's having my baby, and she's not here yet. |
| [00:10.36] | -Has her water broken yet? -I don't know. - |
| [00:13.46] | When we talked,she said she'd already passed the mucous plug. |
| [00:22.63] | What'll you do when you have a baby? |
| [00:25.20] | I'll be in the waiting room, handing out cigars. |
| [00:28.87] | Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s. |
| [00:34.78] | She could be giving birth in the cab. |
| [00:38.08] | Relax. It's only $2 for the first contraction... |
| [00:41.72] | ...and then 50 cents for each additional contraction. |
| [00:46.09] | What,it's okay when Chandler does it? |
| [00:49.66] | You have to pick your moments. |
| [00:52.83] | Did I miss it? |
| [00:54.37] | -She's not here yet. -What's with the guitar? - |
| [00:57.44] | We might be here for a while. Things might get musical. |
| [01:05.78] | I got this, and Susan wanted a Chunky. |
| [01:08.25] | You're having a baby. You don't stop for Chunkies. |
| [01:12.72] | I used to have that bumper sticker. |
| [01:16.19] | You see what I mean? |
| [02:05.44] | -"Stopped for a Chunky." -Let it go,Ross. - |
| [02:09.04] | I got an extra one. You want this? |
| [02:15.08] | -How's my favorite parenting team? -Dr. Franzblau. - |
| [02:22.15] | I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. |
| [02:26.76] | -How are your contractions? -I love them. - |
| [02:33.60] | -Every 4 minutes,lasting 55 seconds. -59 seconds. Quartz. |
| [02:38.87] | Swiss quartz. |
| [02:42.37] | -Am I allowed to drink anything? -lce chips. - |
| [02:45.58] | -At the nurse's station. -I'll get it! - |
| [02:48.31] | -No,I'll get it. -No,I'm getting it. |
| [02:52.32] | Hi. Thought you might like some ice chips. |
| [02:56.29] | -Thanks. -And if you need anything else l... |
| [02:59.69] | ...do not believe we've met. |
| [03:03.13] | I'm Rachel Greene. |
| [03:04.80] | I'm Carol's ex-husband's sister's roommate. |
| [03:08.53] | Nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. |
| [03:11.20] | I'm your roommate's brother's ex-wife's obstetrician. |
| [03:16.54] | Oh,that's funny. |
| [03:24.88] | I want a baby. |
| [03:27.25] | Not tonight,honey. I got an early day tomorrow. |
| [03:30.89] | -Get up. Let's get some coffee. -Okay,because we never do that. - |
| [03:36.90] | Shoot,shoot,shoot. Or just fall down. That's good too. |
| [03:42.17] | Knick fan? |
| [03:43.54] | -Oh,boy,do they suck. -Listen,lady - |
| [03:49.37] | Look. Look at your man,Ewing. |
| [03:51.91] | He couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat. |
| [03:55.61] | -And who do you like? -Celtics. - |
| [03:58.28] | Celtics? They couldn't hit a boat if |
| [04:01.75] | Wait.... |
| [04:04.59] | They suck,all right? |
| [04:07.03] | Shut up. It's a rebuilding year |
| [04:11.23] | Let me get the father. We need a father over here. |
| [04:15.13] | There's no father. |
| [04:18.74] | -Oh,sorry. -That's okay. I'm fine. - |
| [04:24.54] | Okay. Right this way. |
| [04:26.54] | All the other pregnant women seem to be going in here. |
| [04:36.49] | They're tiny and chubby And so sweet to touch |
| [04:40.33] | But soon they'll grow up And resent you so much |
| [04:45.93] | Now they're yelling at you And you don 't know why |
| [04:50.17] | And you cry and you cry And you cry |
| [04:54.31] | And you cry and you cry And you cry |
| [04:57.68] | -Thanks,Ross. -I'm paying you to stop. - |
| [05:03.31] | Oh,look,twins. Hi,guys. Oh,cute. |
| [05:08.52] | No fair. |
| [05:09.85] | I don't even have one. How come they get two? |
| [05:12.82] | -You'll get one. -When? - |
| [05:15.69] | Tell you what. When we're 40, if neither of us are married... |
| [05:20.83] | ...what do you say we have one? |
| [05:22.93] | Why won't I be married when I'm 40? |
| [05:26.20] | I just meant hypothetically. |
| [05:28.31] | Hypothetically,why won't I be married when I'm 40? |
| [05:32.88] | What is it? Is there something unmarriable about me? |
| [05:38.22] | Well? |
| [05:47.56] | Look at you,dressy-dress. |
| [05:50.23] | Did you go home and change? |
| [05:52.10] | It's an important day. I want to look nice. |
| [05:56.17] | Has Dr. Franzblau been by? |
| [05:59.77] | I haven't seen him. |
| [06:01.21] | Where is he? He is supposed to be here. |
| [06:06.34] | What if the baby needs him? |
| [06:08.51] | What's the deal with you and doctors? Is your father a doctor? |
| [06:13.12] | Yeah. Why? |
| [06:15.69] | No reason. |
| [06:18.86] | Mom,we've been through this. |
| [06:21.29] | No,I am not calling him. |
| [06:24.13] | I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. |
| [06:27.47] | No,I am not alone. Joey's here. |
| [06:32.04] | What do you mean "Joey who"? |
| [06:34.04] | Joey who? |
| [06:35.47] | -Tribbiani. -Joey Tribbiani. - |
| [06:39.58] | Yes. Okay. Hold on. |
| [06:43.82] | She wants to talk to you. |
| [06:46.45] | Take the phone. |
| [06:49.22] | Yeah,it's me. |
| [06:52.39] | No,we're just friends. |
| [06:55.29] | Yeah,I'm single. |
| [06:57.73] | Twenty-five. 25 |
| [06:59.66] | An actor. Hello? |
| [07:07.64] | She's not much of a phone person. |
| [07:10.41] | So,what's the deal with this father guy? |
| [07:14.31] | If someone was having my baby, I'd wanna know about it. |
| [07:18.48] | Hey,Knick fan,am I interested in your views on fatherhood? No. |
| [07:26.19] | -Maybe I should just go. -Maybe you should. - |
| [07:29.53] | Good luck... |
| [07:32.23] | ...and take care. |
| [07:40.47] | The Celtics problem is that the players run the team. |
| [07:43.91] | -That is so not true. -Oh,it is. - |
| [07:47.28] | -Breathe. -Breathe. - |
| [07:49.88] | You're gonna kill me. |
| [07:52.05] | -Fifteen more seconds. 1 4,1 3,1 2 -Count faster. |
| [07:56.42] | It'll be okay. IKeep focusing on Jordy. He'll be here soon. |
| [08:00.56] | -Three. Two. Who the hell is Jordy? -Your son. -3,2,1. |
| [08:05.06] | I don't have a son named Jordy. We all agreed on Jamie. |
| [08:09.30] | Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend... |
| [08:12.60] | ...so we went back to Jordy. |
| [08:15.01] | What do you mean,back to Jordy? We never landed on Jordy. |
| [08:19.34] | We just passed by it during the whole Jesse-Cody-Dillon fiasco. |
| [08:24.52] | Ow! Leg cramp! |
| [08:27.12] | -I got it. -I got it. I'm doing it. - |
| [08:29.65] | You get to sleep with her. I get the cramps. |
| [08:32.19] | No,you don't. |
| [08:33.49] | That is it. I want both of you out. |
| [08:37.66] | I'm trying to get a person out of my body here... |
| [08:41.13] | ...and you're not making it any easier! Now go! |
| [08:47.21] | -Thanks. -See what you did? - |
| [08:49.27] | -Listen -Out! |
| [08:53.28] | Breathe. Breathe. |
| [09:02.29] | What is that? Something exploded. |
| [09:06.66] | -That's not the baby,is it? -Her water broke. Calm down. - |
| [09:10.33] | Water breaking? What do you mean? What's that? |
| [09:13.83] | Breathe. Breathe. |
| [09:17.84] | I'm okay. I'm okay. That's disgusting. I'm okay. |
| [09:23.57] | -This is so your fault. -How is this my fault? - |
| [09:27.08] | Carol never threw me out of a room before you. |
| [09:30.68] | There's a lot of things Carol never did before me. |
| [09:34.89] | -Are you trying to be clever? -You're so threatened by me. - |
| [09:39.42] | Hey. Okay,all right. That's it. Get in here. |
| [09:43.73] | My God,you guys. I don't believe you. |
| [09:47.40] | There are children coming into the world here... |
| [09:50.74] | ...and your fighting isn't the first thing they should hear. |
| [09:54.44] | So stop all the yelling! Just stop it! |
| [09:59.81] | Don't make me do this again! I don't like my voice like this! |
| [10:08.65] | Who wants to hear something ironic? |
| [10:18.26] | Don't worry, we're gonna find them. |
| [10:20.80] | And until we do, we are all here for you. Okay? |
| [10:25.77] | You were telling me about Paris. It sounds wonderful. |
| [10:29.37] | There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel |
| [10:34.18] | There you go,dear. |
| [10:37.38] | -You find them? -Not in the gift shop or cafeteria.... - |
| [10:41.22] | Where are Phoebe and Joey? |
| [10:44.02] | There's something sinister going on here. |
| [10:50.93] | ...scream. And scream again. |
| [10:58.00] | -Help! -Come on! |
| [11:00.87] | -I'm having a baby in there! -Hello! |
| [11:04.68] | Okay,everyone stand back. |
| [11:10.55] | Ow. |
| [11:12.75] | All right,good thing we're in a hospital. |
| [11:16.72] | Come on,Lydia,you can do it. |
| [11:22.33] | Push him out,push him out. Way out. |
| [11:24.76] | Let's get that ball and really move. |
| [11:27.83] | Let's get |
| [11:31.04] | I was just Yeah,okay. Push,push,push. |
| [11:37.71] | What are you gonna do, suck the door open? |
| [11:42.85] | Help! Help! |
| [11:46.48] | And they found their bodies The very next day |
| [11:50.72] | And they found their bodies The very next |
| [11:59.60] | Mom,everything's going fine. |
| [12:01.93] | Ross is great. |
| [12:04.37] | He's in a whole other place. |
| [12:06.87] | No,he's gone. |
| [12:09.07] | No,you don't have to fly back. Really. |
| [12:12.51] | What do you mean "This might be your only chance"? I'm only 26. |
| [12:17.28] | I'm not even thinking about babies yet. |
| [12:33.06] | -Where have you been? -I just had a baby. - |
| [12:37.77] | Mazel tov. |
| [12:43.84] | It could be one hour or three. |
| [12:46.01] | But relax. She's doing great. |
| [12:48.45] | So tell me,are you currently involved with anyone? |
| [12:53.92] | Not at the moment,I'm not. Are you? |
| [12:57.59] | No,it's hard enough to get women to go out with me. |
| [13:01.23] | Right. Yeah,I've heard that about cute doctors. |
| [13:05.36] | No,really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time,you know... |
| [13:11.27] | ...where I do. |
| [13:15.94] | I try not to let work affect my personal life. |
| [13:19.18] | But it's hard when,when you do what I do. It's,like.... |
| [13:24.05] | Well,for instance, what do you do? |
| [13:26.68] | I'm a waitress. |
| [13:29.32] | Aren't there times when you come home at night and you're,like: |
| [13:34.29] | "If I see one more cup of coffee...." |
| [13:43.07] | Gotcha. |
| [13:45.17] | -I'm gonna check up on your friend. -That's fine. - |
| [13:58.08] | -How'd you know I was here? -Your mom called me. - |
| [14:02.00] | So is this her? |
| [14:04.09] | No,this is a loaner. |
| [14:08.09] | Ours is at the shop. |
| [14:10.80] | God,I hope she has my brains. |
| [14:15.07] | I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself. |
| [14:18.50] | I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse and a helper guy. |
| [14:25.14] | -So did you see who won the game? -The Knicks by 10. They suck. - |
| [14:31.82] | They're not so bad. |
| [14:57.24] | Come on. Come on. |
| [14:59.24] | -You're doing it too hard. -You have to do it hard or else - |
| [15:04.62] | Damn it. Damn it. |
| [15:06.15] | Damn it,damn it. This is all your fault. |
| [15:08.69] | This should be the greatest day of my life. |
| [15:11.49] | My son is being born, and I should be in there. |
| [15:14.19] | Instead,I'm stuck in a closet with you. |
| [15:16.76] | I have been waiting for this as much as you. |
| [15:20.16] | No one's been waiting for this as much as I have. |
| [15:23.53] | You know what's funny? |
| [15:25.10] | You go home with the baby. Where does that leave me? |
| [15:28.84] | You're his father. |
| [15:30.47] | Who am l? There's Father's Day. There's Mother's Day. |
| [15:34.61] | There's no Lesbian Lover Day. |
| [15:37.15] | Every day is Lesbian Lover Day. |
| [15:42.45] | This is so great. |
| [15:48.29] | Do you wanna explain that? |
| [15:50.66] | I mean,when I was growing up, my dad left... |
| [15:54.06] | ...and my mother died and my stepfather went to jail. |
| [15:58.07] | I barely had enough pieces to make one whole parent. |
| [16:02.17] | And here's this baby who has three whole parents... |
| [16:05.68] | ...who fight over who gets to love it the most... |
| [16:09.81] | ...and it's not even born yet. |
| [16:12.42] | It's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. |
| [16:17.72] | I'm sorry. You were fighting. |
| [16:21.93] | Where are they? |
| [16:23.69] | -They'll be here. -They wouldn't miss this. - |
| [16:26.76] | Relax. You're only at 9 centimeters, and the baby's at zero station. |
| [16:35.14] | You are really frightening me. |
| [16:39.14] | Somebody wanna help me? Trying to rip out my heart. |
| [16:43.81] | That's great. Anybody seen a nipple? |
| [16:48.65] | Ten centimeters. Here we go. |
| [16:51.02] | -Time to start pushing. -But they're not here yet. - |
| [16:54.49] | -I can't tell the baby to wait. -Oh,God. - |
| [17:03.37] | -Okay,got the vent open. -Hi,I'm Ben. - |
| [17:08.24] | I'm hospital worker Ben. |
| [17:11.18] | It's Ben to the rescue. |
| [17:15.71] | Ben,you ready? Give me your foot. |
| [17:18.78] | On three,Ben. One,two,three. |
| [17:23.25] | Come on,Ben. That's it,Ben. |
| [17:27.36] | What do you see? |
| [17:29.79] | I see what appears to be a dark vent. |
| [17:33.13] | Wait. |
| [17:34.57] | Yes,it is,in fact,a dark vent. |
| [17:41.07] | Pheebs,it's open. It's open. |
| [17:46.28] | Wait. You forgot your legs. |
| [17:50.38] | -Push. Push. -We're here. We're here. - |
| [17:54.89] | Where have you been? |
| [17:57.45] | Long story. |
| [17:58.76] | I need you to keep pushing. I need Excuse me,can I have this? |
| [18:05.20] | There's too many people here. There's about to be one more. |
| [18:09.57] | So if you're not an ex-husband or lesbian life partner,out you go. |
| [18:16.01] | -Bye-bye. -Good luck,you guys. |
| [18:18.44] | Do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner? |
| [18:22.48] | Out. |
| [18:26.18] | Here he comes. |
| [18:27.52] | Let me see. I've gotta see. |
| [18:34.79] | A head. |
| [18:36.59] | It's huge. How are you doing this? |
| [18:40.33] | You're not helping. |
| [18:42.53] | You're doing great. |
| [18:44.60] | -Hello? -Oh,sorry. |
| [18:46.74] | What do you see? What do you see? |
| [18:48.94] | We got a head. We got arms. Oh,look at the little fingers. |
| [18:54.78] | A chest and a stomach... |
| [18:56.81] | ...and it's a boy,definitely a boy. |
| [19:00.58] | Legs,knees and feet. |
| [19:09.03] | He's here. |
| [19:11.73] | He's a person. |
| [19:14.23] | -Look. -What does he look like? |
| [19:17.07] | IKind of like my Uncle Ed, covered in Jell-O. |
| [19:21.27] | Really? |
| [19:23.21] | You guys,he's beautiful. |
| [19:25.71] | Thanks,Pheebs. |
| [19:33.55] | No shouting,but we still need a name for this little guy. |
| [19:39.06] | -How about Ben? -I like Ben. - |
| [19:43.76] | Ben. |
| [19:49.17] | Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before? |
| [19:52.90] | We just cooked it up. |
| [19:56.57] | That's what we were off doing. |
| [20:01.75] | -Can we come in? -Yeah,come on. - |
| [20:11.62] | I know. I know. |
| [20:13.46] | Everybody,there's someone I'd like you to meet. |
| [20:17.66] | -This is Ben. -Hi,Ben. |
| [20:20.50] | Ben,this is everybody. |
| [20:23.37] | Susan,he looks just like you. |
| [20:28.71] | Thanks. |
| [20:30.54] | I can't believe one of us actually has one of these. |
| [20:34.11] | I know. I still am one of these. |
| [20:40.55] | Can l? |
| [20:43.69] | Okay,the head. You gotta.... |
| [20:55.13] | I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes,I am. |
| [20:58.14] | I'm your Aunt Monica. |
| [21:05.81] | I will always have gum. |
| [21:12.38] | Ben... |
| [21:14.15] | ... I want you to know that there may be some times when... |
| [21:18.22] | ... I may not be around like this. |
| [21:24.70] | But I'll still always come back... |
| [21:28.43] | ...Iike this. |
| [21:31.37] | And sometimes, I may be away longer... |
| [21:35.41] | ...Iike this. |
| [21:40.54] | But I'll still always come back... |
| [21:45.75] | ...Iike this. |
| [21:48.62] | And sometimes,I'll want you to steal third and I'll go like this: |
| [22:02.40] | He is so amazing. |
| [22:04.53] | Yeah,I know. Look at him. |
| [22:17.45] | Look,he's closing his eyes. |
| [22:20.78] | Look,he's opening his eyes. |
| [22:25.79] | He doesn't do much,does he? |
| [22:28.49] | Nope,this is pretty much it. |
| [22:38.50] | You guys wanna get some coffee? |
| [22:42.24] | I'll see you guys later. |
| [23:16.87] | He's closing his eyes again. |
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