| [00:04.80] | 额让我说个笑话啊，那我就说一个笑话啊，就是我们街坊啊，街坊家有一家我们在座也有街坊来了，啊 |
| [00:19.42] | 怎么夸他们呢，人家是五好真正五好家庭，没有抬杠拌嘴，啊没有不和的，这家子，怎么说呢 |
| [00:31.00] | 咱们怎么夸人家呢，就说人家和睦家庭，谁都夸，就说人家这儿媳妇，连街坊邻居，居委会主任都夸 |
| [00:41.00] | 看瞧人家这儿媳妇，人家娶着了，孝顺公公孝顺婆婆跟亲爹亲妈一样，孝顺她老娘一样，孝顺她老爹一样 |
| [00:51.51] | 这儿媳妇，真好!好！这公公婆婆，对儿媳妇怎么样呢？当亲闺女那么疼那么爱老婆儿没生过闺女，独生子 |
| [01:07.76] | 就养了那一个儿子，敢年轻的时候就盼着，生完儿子了，恨不得能生个闺女才好，不养了，不生了 |
| [01:15.37] | 一直就这么一个儿子，娶着儿媳妇来，爱！当亲闺女一样，盼着，喜欢呐，爱，喝！这儿媳妇，当闺女那么养活着 |
| [01:26.10] | 儿媳妇也可疼，刚娶了二年，生了个大胖小子，老头老婆又得孙子了，更爱了！喝！这好，美，乐，好 |
| [01:39.65] | 好不是？坏了，老头病了，生病了，不吃东西，吃不下东西，什么也不吃，大夫有话，给看了病说每天吃三次药 |
| [01:50.92] | 饭后吃药，吃完饭以后吃药，不许空肚吃，老头不吃东西啊，馒头吃不了，米饭不行，大饼，更吃不了了 |
| [02:01.52] | 什么也不吃，儿媳妇着急啊，孝顺公婆啊，这怎么办呢？老头该吃药了，老爷子不吃东西不行啊，饭后吃药啊 |
| [02:10.31] | “老爷子！您这该吃药了，你这不吃东西，那哪成啊！咱家里也没有奶粉，买藕粉又来不及了” |
| [02:22.26] | “您？你吃我几口奶行不行？”老头一听：嗳！！！这，胡说，这个，不行不行。婆婆，婆婆在旁边坐着呢 |
| [02:35.34] | 婆婆说：哎，要说也是，空肚吃药伤胃，你吃她两口，也许管事。儿媳妇说：老爷子，您还嫌我脏吗？！ |
| [02:50.82] | “你坐，坐起来，起来，起来”。老头坐起来，刚吃几口，儿子来了，儿子下班回来了，刚一进门，一瞧 |
| [03:05.67] | “嗨!干嘛呢！怎么回事？!”“爷爷不能空肚子吃药”“像话吗!像话吗！走走走走！看孩子去！哪的事你这！” |
| [03:25.37] | 儿子往床前面一站：“啧，您饿，您让她给您熬点粥喝啊，你怎么吃她咋咋啊，这。。。你这这这” |
| [03:42.73] | 老头：啊，怎么了？怎么着？我吃你媳妇几口奶你有意见？你吃我媳妇奶吃好几年我说什么了吗 |
| [00:04.80] | e rang wo shuo ge xiao hua a, na wo jiu shuo yi ge xiao hua a, jiu shi wo men jie fang a, jie fang jia you yi jia wo men zai zuo ye you jie fang lai le, a |
| [00:19.42] | zen me kua ta men ne, ren jia shi wu hao zhen zheng wu hao jia ting, mei you tai gang ban zui, a mei you bu he de, zhe jia zi, zen me shuo ne |
| [00:31.00] | zan men zen me kua ren jia ne, jiu shuo ren jia he mu jia ting, shui dou kua, jiu shuo ren jia zhe er xi fu, lian jie fang lin ju, ju wei hui zhu ren dou kua |
| [00:41.00] | kan qiao ren jia zhe er xi fu, ren jia qu zhe le, xiao shun gong gong xiao shun po po gen qin die qin ma yi yang, xiao shun ta lao niang yi yang, xiao shun ta lao die yi yang |
| [00:51.51] | zhe er xi fu, zhen hao! hao! zhe gong gong po po, dui er xi fu zen me yang ne? dang qin gui nv na me teng na me ai lao po er mei sheng guo gui nv, du sheng zi |
| [01:07.76] | jiu yang le na yi ge er zi, gan nian qing de shi hou jiu pan zhe, sheng wan er zi le, hen bu de neng sheng ge gui nv cai hao, bu yang le, bu sheng le |
| [01:15.37] | yi zhi jiu zhe me yi ge er zi, qu zhe er xi fu lai, ai! dang qin gui nv yi yang, pan zhe, xi huan na, ai, he! zhe er xi fu, dang gui nv na me yang huo zhe |
| [01:26.10] | er xi fu ye ke teng, gang qu le er nian, sheng le ge da pang xiao zi, lao tou lao po you de sun zi le, geng ai le! he! zhe hao, mei, le, hao |
| [01:39.65] | hao bu shi? huai le, lao tou bing le, sheng bing le, bu chi dong xi, chi bu xia dong xi, shen me ye bu chi, dai fu you hua, gei kan le bing shuo mei tian chi san ci yao |
| [01:50.92] | fan hou chi yao, chi wan fan yi hou chi yao, bu xu kong du chi, lao tou bu chi dong xi a, man tou chi bu liao, mi fan bu xing, da bing, geng chi bu liao le |
| [02:01.52] | shen me ye bu chi, er xi fu zhao ji a, xiao shun gong po a, zhe zen me ban ne? lao tou gai chi yao le, lao ye zi bu chi dong xi bu xing a, fan hou chi yao a |
| [02:10.31] | " lao ye zi! nin zhe gai chi yao le, ni zhe bu chi dong xi, na na cheng a! za jia li ye mei you nai fen, mai ou fen you lai bu ji le" |
| [02:22.26] | " nin? ni chi wo ji kou nai xing bu xing?" lao tou yi ting: ai!!! zhe, hu shuo, zhe ge, bu xing bu xing. po po, po po zai pang bian zuo zhe ne |
| [02:35.34] | po po shuo: ai, yao shuo ye shi, kong du chi yao shang wei, ni chi ta liang kou, ye xu guan shi. er xi fu shuo: lao ye zi, nin hai xian wo zang ma?! |
| [02:50.82] | " ni zuo, zuo qi lai, qi lai, qi lai". lao tou zuo qi lai, gang chi ji kou, er zi lai le, er zi xia ban hui lai le, gang yi jin men, yi qiao |
| [03:05.67] | " hai! gan ma ne! zen me hui shi?!"" ye ye bu neng kong du zi chi yao"" xiang hua ma! xiang hua ma! zou zou zou zou! kan hai zi qu! na de shi ni zhe!" |
| [03:25.37] | er zi wang chuang qian mian yi zhan:" ze, nin e, nin rang ta gei nin ao dian zhou he a, ni zen me chi ta za za a, zhe... ni zhe zhe zhe" |
| [03:42.73] | lao tou: a, zen me le? zen me zhao? wo chi ni xi fu ji kou nai ni you yi jian? ni chi wo xi fu nai chi hao ji nian wo shuo shi mo le ma |
| [00:04.80] | é ràng wǒ shuō gè xiào huà a, nà wǒ jiù shuō yí gè xiào huà a, jiù shì wǒ men jiē fāng a, jiē fāng jiā yǒu yī jiā wǒ men zài zuò yě yǒu jiē fāng lái le, a |
| [00:19.42] | zěn me kuā tā men ne, rén jiā shì wǔ hǎo zhēn zhèng wǔ hǎo jiā tíng, méi yǒu tái gàng bàn zuǐ, a méi yǒu bù hé de, zhè jiā zǐ, zěn me shuō ne |
| [00:31.00] | zán men zěn me kuā rén jiā ne, jiù shuō rén jiā hé mù jiā tíng, shuí dōu kuā, jiù shuō rén jiā zhè ér xí fù, lián jiē fāng lín jū, jū wěi huì zhǔ rèn dōu kuā |
| [00:41.00] | kàn qiáo rén jiā zhè ér xí fù, rén jiā qǔ zhe le, xiào shùn gōng gōng xiào shùn pó pó gēn qīn diē qīn mā yí yàng, xiào shùn tā lǎo niáng yí yàng, xiào shùn tā lǎo diē yí yàng |
| [00:51.51] | zhè ér xí fù, zhēn hǎo! hǎo! zhè gōng gōng pó pó, duì ér xí fù zěn me yàng ne? dāng qīn guī nǚ nà me téng nà me ài lǎo pó ér méi shēng guò guī nǚ, dú shēng zǐ |
| [01:07.76] | jiù yǎng le nà yí gè ér zi, gǎn nián qīng de shí hòu jiù pàn zhe, shēng wán ér zi le, hèn bù de néng shēng gè guī nǚ cái hǎo, bù yǎng le, bù shēng le |
| [01:15.37] | yī zhí jiù zhè me yí gè ér zi, qǔ zhe ér xí fù lái, ài! dāng qīn guī nǚ yí yàng, pàn zhe, xǐ huān nà, ài, hē! zhè ér xí fù, dāng guī nǚ nà me yǎng huó zhe |
| [01:26.10] | ér xí fù yě kě téng, gāng qǔ le èr nián, shēng le gè dà pàng xiǎo zi, lǎo tóu lǎo pó yòu dé sūn zi le, gèng ài le! hē! zhè hǎo, měi, lè, hǎo |
| [01:39.65] | hǎo bú shì? huài le, lǎo tóu bìng le, shēng bìng le, bù chī dōng xī, chī bù xià dōng xī, shén me yě bù chī, dài fū yǒu huà, gěi kàn le bìng shuō měi tiān chī sān cì yào |
| [01:50.92] | fàn hòu chī yào, chī wán fàn yǐ hòu chī yào, bù xǔ kōng dù chī, lǎo tóu bù chī dōng xī a, mán tou chī bù liǎo, mǐ fàn bù xíng, dà bǐng, gèng chī bù liǎo le |
| [02:01.52] | shén me yě bù chī, ér xí fù zháo jí a, xiào shùn gōng pó a, zhè zěn me bàn ne? lǎo tóu gāi chī yào le, lǎo yé zǐ bù chī dōng xī bù xíng a, fàn hòu chī yào a |
| [02:10.31] | " lǎo yé zǐ! nín zhè gāi chī yào le, nǐ zhè bù chī dōng xī, nà nǎ chéng a! zá jiā lǐ yě méi yǒu nǎi fěn, mǎi ǒu fěn yòu lái bù jí le" |
| [02:22.26] | " nín? nǐ chī wǒ jǐ kǒu nǎi xíng bù xíng?" lǎo tóu yī tīng: āi!!! zhè, hú shuō, zhè gè, bù xíng bù xíng. pó pó, pó pó zài páng biān zuò zhe ne |
| [02:35.34] | pó pó shuō: āi, yào shuō yě shì, kōng dù chī yào shāng wèi, nǐ chī tā liǎng kǒu, yě xǔ guǎn shì. ér xí fù shuō: lǎo yé zǐ, nín hái xián wǒ zàng ma?! |
| [02:50.82] | " nǐ zuò, zuò qǐ lái, qǐ lái, qǐ lái". lǎo tóu zuò qǐ lái, gāng chī jǐ kǒu, ér zi lái le, ér zi xià bān huí lái le, gāng yī jìn mén, yī qiáo |
| [03:05.67] | " hāi! gàn ma ne! zěn me huí shì?!"" yé ye bù néng kōng dǔ zi chī yào"" xiàng huà ma! xiàng huà ma! zǒu zǒu zǒu zǒu! kàn hái zi qù! nǎ de shì nǐ zhè!" |
| [03:25.37] | ér zi wǎng chuáng qián miàn yī zhàn:" zé, nín è, nín ràng tā gěi nín áo diǎn zhōu hē a, nǐ zěn me chī tā zǎ zǎ a, zhè... nǐ zhè zhè zhè" |
| [03:42.73] | lǎo tóu: a, zěn me le? zěn me zhāo? wǒ chī nǐ xí fù jǐ kǒu nǎi nǐ yǒu yì jiàn? nǐ chī wǒ xí fù nǎi chī hǎo jǐ nián wǒ shuō shí mǒ le ma |
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