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Oh Carissa, when I first saw you, |
[00:20.78] |
you were a lovely child |
[00:23.72] |
And the last time I saw you, |
[00:26.06] |
you were fifteen and pregnant and running wild |
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I remember wondering, |
[00:33.34] |
could there be a light at the end of your tunnel? |
[00:38.21] |
But I left Ohio then |
[00:41.70] |
and pretty much forgotten all about you |
[00:45.84] |
I guess you were |
[00:47.03] |
there some years ago at a family funeral |
[00:52.06] |
But you were one of so many relatives |
[00:56.06] |
I didn't know which one was you |
[01:00.99] |
Yesterday morning I woke up to so many, |
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330 area code calls |
[01:08.57] |
I called my mom back and she was in tears |
[01:12.36] |
and asked had I spoke to my father |
[01:15.44] |
Carissa burned to death last night |
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in a freak accident fire |
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In her yard in Bruster her daughter |
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came home from a party and found her |
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Same way as my uncle who was her grandfather |
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An aerosol can blew up in the trash, goddamn, |
[01:41.69] |
what were the odds? |
[01:44.69] |
She was just getting ready to |
[01:47.39] |
go to her midnight shift as an RN is Rosworth |
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And she vanished up in flames like that |
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but there had to be more to her life's worth |
[01:59.86] |
Everyone's grieving out of their minds, |
[02:03.44] |
making arrangements and taking drugs |
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But I'm flying out there tomorrow |
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because I need to give and get some hugs |
[02:14.01] |
Cause I got questions |
[02:17.78] |
that I'd like to get answered |
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I may never get them, |
[02:23.57] |
but Carissa gotta know how did it happen |
[02:29.45] |
Carissa was thirty-five, |
[02:32.58] |
you don't just raise two kids |
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and take out your trash and die |
[02:40.36] |
She was my second cousin, |
[02:43.55] |
I didn't know her well at all but it don't mean that |
[02:47.22] |
I wasn't meant to find some poetry |
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to make some sense of this, |
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to find a deeper meaning |
[03:01.48] |
In a senseless tragedy, |
[03:05.61] |
oh Carissa I'll sing your name across every sea |
[03:42.28] |
Were you doing someone else's chores for them? |
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Were you just killing time, |
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finding things to do all by your lonesome? |
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Was it even you |
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who mistakenly put flammables in the trash |
[04:03.94] |
Was it your kids just being kids, |
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and so, oh, the guilt they will carry around forever |
[04:11.76] |
Well I'm going out there to get a look at the landscapes, |
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To get a look at those I'm connected by blood and see |
[04:23.66] |
how it all may have shaped me |
[04:26.35] |
Well I'm going out there though I'm not really needed |
[04:33.28] |
I'm just so broken up about it, |
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how is it that this sad history repeated? |
[04:41.05] |
I'll return to Ohio, to the place I was born |
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Gonna see where I hung with my cousins |
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and played with them in the snow |
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Fist in their palms, |
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gonna see how they've grown |
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Visit some greats and say hey I've missed you |
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Gonna find out as much as I can |
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about my little second cousin Carissa |
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Gonna go to Ohio, where I was born |
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Got a 10:45 AM flight, I'm leaving tomorrow morning |
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Gonna see my aunts and my uncles, |
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my parents and sisters |
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Mostly I'm going to pay my respects |
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to my little second cousin Carissa |
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Going to Ohio where I feel I belong |
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Ask those who know the most about Carissa |
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for it was her life and death that I'm helplessly drawn. |
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Carissa was thirty-five, raised kids |
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since she was fifteen years old and suddenly died |
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Next to an old river, fire pit, |
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oh there's gotta be more than that to it |
[06:17.09] |
She was only my second cousin but |
[06:21.17] |
it don't mean that I'm not here for her or that |
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I wasn't meant to give her life poetry, |
[06:31.73] |
make sure her name is known across every city |