| Song | Intro |
| Artist | Bo Burnham |
| Album | what. |
| [00:00.00] | Intro （）-Bo Burnham |
| [00:08.920] | This is Bo Burnham |
| [00:12.230] | He's 22years old |
| [00:15.487] | He's a male and he looks like the genetic product |
| [00:19.794] | Of a giraffe having sex with Ellen Degeneres |
| [00:24.583] | He has a gigantic head and tiny nipples |
| [00:29.662] | He's isolated himself over the last five years in the pursuit of comedy |
| [00:35.280] | And in doing so has lost touch with reality |
| [00:42.726] | You're an asshole Bo You hear me |
| [00:48.796] | You think you know better than me |
| [00:51.846] | You think you know better than everybody |
| [00:55.866] | You will die alone and you will deserve it |
| [01:01.415] | But in the meantime you might as well tell those silly jokes of yours |
| [01:07.594] | See if that helps |
| [01:21.934] | You used to do comedy when you felt like being funny |
| [01:28.73] | But now you're contraction-ally obligated |
| [01:31.233] | So dance you f**king monkey |
| [01:35.642] | Dance monkey dance |
| [01:37.231] | Welcome to the show |
| [01:38.201] | This is Bo this is his show |
| [01:40.51] | And Bo likes to dance like this |
| [01:43.261] | Welcome to the show this is Bo |
| [01:44.940] | This is his show and Bo takes off his pants like this |
| [01:49.290] | Play an invisible drum |
| [01:52.80] | Play an invisible trumpet trumpet sound |
| [01:55.79] | Drink some invisible water |
| [01:57.868] | Oh sh*t That water's real |
| [02:01.258] | Bo wants to make you feel comfortable |
| [02:04.147] | Bo wants to make you feel comfortable |
| [02:07.416] | Bo wants to make you feel comfortable |
| [02:10.66] | So sit back relax and enjoy a healthy dose of |
| [02:13.245] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:16.264] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:19.294] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:22.274] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:25.243] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:28.221] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:31.41] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:34.781] | Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:37.181] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:40.351] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:43.311] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:46.31] | Lick your lips to make it more comforting |
| [02:48.710] | Do you want to see a magic trick |
| [02:51.859] | Do you want to see a magic trick |
| [02:54.868] | Do you want to see a magic trick |
| [02:57.858] | Then pick a card any card-Psyche |
| [03:01.327] | Magic isn't real you idiot read a book |
| [03:04.316] | Magic isn't real you idiot read a book |
| [03:07.344] | Magic isn't real you idiot read a book |
| [03:10.262] | Magic isn't real or is it |
| [03:16.482] | And at that moment |
| [03:18.631] | Bo's 20year old cynicism melted into childlike wonder |
| [03:24.889] | He never knew there could be so much magic in the world |
| [03:29.919] | It's a world of possibilities Bo |
| [03:33.438] | What do you want to do first Run |
| [03:36.708] | Yeah sure you can run |
| [03:38.907] | Fly Well yeah you can fly |
| [03:43.456] | What What are you what the f**k are you do |
| [03:45.973] | What the f**k are you doing |
| [03:47.532] | Stop st-stop it |
| [03:49.570] | What the f-you f**king idiot stop stop stop |
| [03:55.47] | Anyways In the distance Bo saw a beautiful fairy |
| [04:00.175] | A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud |
| [04:02.335] | About being called one in high school |
| [04:05.534] | He then came across an old bridge with a troll standing guard |
| [04:09.863] | Bo knew he'd have to answer a riddle to get by |
| [04:13.323] | The troll spoke thus: |
| [04:16.922] | Alright for the last time man I'm not a troll I'm homeless |
| [04:19.991] | Ok do you have any spare change |
| [04:23.580] | Ok that's a used napkin I don't want that |
| [04:26.379] | No no stop just you know what leave just leave please leave ' |
| [04:32.629] | And then as Bo arrived on the other side of the stage |
| [04:38.107] | He saw a unicorn with five horns right in front of him |
| [04:42.756] | And the pentacorn spoke thus: |
| [04:47.315] | Hello Bo I've been looking for you for quite a long t-ugh ' |
| [05:07.985] | He was safe for now |
| [05:11.384] | But the dark thoughts would soon return |
| [05:17.494] | It's Godzilla |
| [05:42.607] | It's so hard to be a lizard |
| [05:48.807] | It's hard to be a lizard |
| [05:54.526] | Tiny arms itchy gizzard |
| [06:00.905] | It's hard to be a lizard |
| [06:08.444] | But it's harder to segue |
| [06:10.363] | Is he skiing or is he in a gay porn |
| [06:13.62] | Is he skiing what or is he in a gay porn |
| [06:16.250] | Is he skiing huh or is he in a gay porn |
| [06:19.459] | Here's a hint he's in a gay porn |
| [06:22.328] | Ok Bo this miming sh*t is getting pretty annoying |
| [06:26.717] | So give them the real thing |
| [06:28.827] | My voice is so f**king natural |
| [06:34.76] | It's naturally good |
| [06:35.706] | Naturally good |
| [06:38.715] | Naturally good |
| [06:41.725] | This is the end of the song and the beginning of the show |
| [06:45.524] | Welcome to the show |
| [07:01.693] | That lizard part was pretty f**king stupid |
| [07:06.721] | We're recording part of the CD tonight and yeah |
| [07:09.440] | Good to start off with eight minutes of mime jokes for the CD |
| [07:15.19] | I want to start off with a joke for the fellas |
| [07:16.369] | I don't feel like I connect with my men |
| [07:18.389] | In the audience as well as |
| [07:19.199] | I do with my prepubescent girls |
| [07:21.308] | So where my fellas at Fellas |
| [07:24.828] | Yo fellas don't you hate it when you're sucking a guy's **** |
| [07:28.507] | And he ends up being a faggot Am I right |
| [07:31.707] | These f**king faggots with their tasty ****s |
| [07:33.916] | Alright if you'd like to leave during |
| [07:40.176] | The show the exit signs are marked clearly in red |
| [07:43.45] | Sort of a orangish/reddish/fiery red |
| [07:45.175] | So we'll be f**ked if we need them |
| [07:46.795] | But we can see them now |
| [07:55.243] | This show is called 'what ' |
| [07:56.482] | And I hope there are some surprises geez |
| [07:59.512] | I knocked the water over by accident |
| [08:01.271] | He meant to knock the water over yeah yeah yeah |
| [08:03.859] | But you all thought it was an accident |
| [08:06.458] | But he meant to knock the water over yeah yeah yeah |
| [08:09.198] | Art is lie nothing is real |
| [08:11.235] | So it's called 'what 'and it's about hey cool it |
| [08:14.394] | He meant to knock the water over yeah yeah yeah |
| [08:16.752] | But you all thought it was an |
| [08:18.610] | Just take it off repeat and it won't repeat |
| [08:21.870] | This is the good thing |
| [08:22.619] | We can edit all this in the actual CD recording |
| [08:24.568] | He meant to play the track again yeah yeah yeah |
| [08:27.198] | But you all thought it was an accident |
| [08:29.897] | But he meant to play the water track again-gain-gain |
| [08:32.466] | Art's still a lie nothing's still real |
| [08:34.335] | What's the deal with segues |
| [08:36.544] | Food jokes |
| [08:40.314] | How you guys doing up in the nosebleeds up top |
| [08:44.464] | Yes the nosebleeds where the coc*ine is done |
| [08:47.843] | I had a hotdog for breakfast |
| [08:50.673] | In Madison actually this morning |
| [08:53.172] | And yeah afterwards I felt like this whoa whoa |
| [08:59.80] | Because I couldn't control my stools Alright Jesus |
| [09:06.790] | For the people listening I moved the stool around a lot |
| [09:12.309] | This is gonna get difficult |
| [09:15.468] | But I'm glad you like poop-based puns |
| [09:16.687] | That'll be a majority of the show so |
| [09:21.137] | Never waste a moment |
| [09:21.577] | Every moment can become a comedy moment see |
| [09:25.667] | Thank you so much I am |
| [00:00.00] | Intro Bo Burnham |
| [00:08.920] | This is Bo Burnham |
| [00:12.230] | He' s 22years old |
| [00:15.487] | He' s a male and he looks like the genetic product |
| [00:19.794] | Of a giraffe having sex with Ellen Degeneres |
| [00:24.583] | He has a gigantic head and tiny nipples |
| [00:29.662] | He' s isolated himself over the last five years in the pursuit of comedy |
| [00:35.280] | And in doing so has lost touch with reality |
| [00:42.726] | You' re an asshole Bo You hear me |
| [00:48.796] | You think you know better than me |
| [00:51.846] | You think you know better than everybody |
| [00:55.866] | You will die alone and you will deserve it |
| [01:01.415] | But in the meantime you might as well tell those silly jokes of yours |
| [01:07.594] | See if that helps |
| [01:21.934] | You used to do comedy when you felt like being funny |
| [01:28.73] | But now you' re contractionally obligated |
| [01:31.233] | So dance you f king monkey |
| [01:35.642] | Dance monkey dance |
| [01:37.231] | Welcome to the show |
| [01:38.201] | This is Bo this is his show |
| [01:40.51] | And Bo likes to dance like this |
| [01:43.261] | Welcome to the show this is Bo |
| [01:44.940] | This is his show and Bo takes off his pants like this |
| [01:49.290] | Play an invisible drum |
| [01:52.80] | Play an invisible trumpet trumpet sound |
| [01:55.79] | Drink some invisible water |
| [01:57.868] | Oh sh t That water' s real |
| [02:01.258] | Bo wants to make you feel comfortable |
| [02:04.147] | Bo wants to make you feel comfortable |
| [02:07.416] | Bo wants to make you feel comfortable |
| [02:10.66] | So sit back relax and enjoy a healthy dose of |
| [02:13.245] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:16.264] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:19.294] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:22.274] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:25.243] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:28.221] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:31.41] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:34.781] | Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:37.181] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:40.351] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:43.311] | Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact |
| [02:46.31] | Lick your lips to make it more comforting |
| [02:48.710] | Do you want to see a magic trick |
| [02:51.859] | Do you want to see a magic trick |
| [02:54.868] | Do you want to see a magic trick |
| [02:57.858] | Then pick a card any cardPsyche |
| [03:01.327] | Magic isn' t real you idiot read a book |
| [03:04.316] | Magic isn' t real you idiot read a book |
| [03:07.344] | Magic isn' t real you idiot read a book |
| [03:10.262] | Magic isn' t real or is it |
| [03:16.482] | And at that moment |
| [03:18.631] | Bo' s 20year old cynicism melted into childlike wonder |
| [03:24.889] | He never knew there could be so much magic in the world |
| [03:29.919] | It' s a world of possibilities Bo |
| [03:33.438] | What do you want to do first Run |
| [03:36.708] | Yeah sure you can run |
| [03:38.907] | Fly Well yeah you can fly |
| [03:43.456] | What What are you what the f k are you do |
| [03:45.973] | What the f k are you doing |
| [03:47.532] | Stop ststop it |
| [03:49.570] | What the fyou f king idiot stop stop stop |
| [03:55.47] | Anyways In the distance Bo saw a beautiful fairy |
| [04:00.175] | A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud |
| [04:02.335] | About being called one in high school |
| [04:05.534] | He then came across an old bridge with a troll standing guard |
| [04:09.863] | Bo knew he' d have to answer a riddle to get by |
| [04:13.323] | The troll spoke thus: |
| [04:16.922] | Alright for the last time man I' m not a troll I' m homeless |
| [04:19.991] | Ok do you have any spare change |
| [04:23.580] | Ok that' s a used napkin I don' t want that |
| [04:26.379] | No no stop just you know what leave just leave please leave ' |
| [04:32.629] | And then as Bo arrived on the other side of the stage |
| [04:38.107] | He saw a unicorn with five horns right in front of him |
| [04:42.756] | And the pentacorn spoke thus: |
| [04:47.315] | Hello Bo I' ve been looking for you for quite a long tugh ' |
| [05:07.985] | He was safe for now |
| [05:11.384] | But the dark thoughts would soon return |
| [05:17.494] | It' s Godzilla |
| [05:42.607] | It' s so hard to be a lizard |
| [05:48.807] | It' s hard to be a lizard |
| [05:54.526] | Tiny arms itchy gizzard |
| [06:00.905] | It' s hard to be a lizard |
| [06:08.444] | But it' s harder to segue |
| [06:10.363] | Is he skiing or is he in a gay porn |
| [06:13.62] | Is he skiing what or is he in a gay porn |
| [06:16.250] | Is he skiing huh or is he in a gay porn |
| [06:19.459] | Here' s a hint he' s in a gay porn |
| [06:22.328] | Ok Bo this miming sh t is getting pretty annoying |
| [06:26.717] | So give them the real thing |
| [06:28.827] | My voice is so f king natural |
| [06:34.76] | It' s naturally good |
| [06:35.706] | Naturally good |
| [06:38.715] | Naturally good |
| [06:41.725] | This is the end of the song and the beginning of the show |
| [06:45.524] | Welcome to the show |
| [07:01.693] | That lizard part was pretty f king stupid |
| [07:06.721] | We' re recording part of the CD tonight and yeah |
| [07:09.440] | Good to start off with eight minutes of mime jokes for the CD |
| [07:15.19] | I want to start off with a joke for the fellas |
| [07:16.369] | I don' t feel like I connect with my men |
| [07:18.389] | In the audience as well as |
| [07:19.199] | I do with my prepubescent girls |
| [07:21.308] | So where my fellas at Fellas |
| [07:24.828] | Yo fellas don' t you hate it when you' re sucking a guy' s |
| [07:28.507] | And he ends up being a faggot Am I right |
| [07:31.707] | These f king faggots with their tasty s |
| [07:33.916] | Alright if you' d like to leave during |
| [07:40.176] | The show the exit signs are marked clearly in red |
| [07:43.45] | Sort of a orangish reddish fiery red |
| [07:45.175] | So we' ll be f ked if we need them |
| [07:46.795] | But we can see them now |
| [07:55.243] | This show is called ' what ' |
| [07:56.482] | And I hope there are some surprises geez |
| [07:59.512] | I knocked the water over by accident |
| [08:01.271] | He meant to knock the water over yeah yeah yeah |
| [08:03.859] | But you all thought it was an accident |
| [08:06.458] | But he meant to knock the water over yeah yeah yeah |
| [08:09.198] | Art is lie nothing is real |
| [08:11.235] | So it' s called ' what ' and it' s about hey cool it |
| [08:14.394] | He meant to knock the water over yeah yeah yeah |
| [08:16.752] | But you all thought it was an |
| [08:18.610] | Just take it off repeat and it won' t repeat |
| [08:21.870] | This is the good thing |
| [08:22.619] | We can edit all this in the actual CD recording |
| [08:24.568] | He meant to play the track again yeah yeah yeah |
| [08:27.198] | But you all thought it was an accident |
| [08:29.897] | But he meant to play the water track againgaingain |
| [08:32.466] | Art' s still a lie nothing' s still real |
| [08:34.335] | What' s the deal with segues |
| [08:36.544] | Food jokes |
| [08:40.314] | How you guys doing up in the nosebleeds up top |
| [08:44.464] | Yes the nosebleeds where the coc ine is done |
| [08:47.843] | I had a hotdog for breakfast |
| [08:50.673] | In Madison actually this morning |
| [08:53.172] | And yeah afterwards I felt like this whoa whoa |
| [08:59.80] | Because I couldn' t control my stools Alright Jesus |
| [09:06.790] | For the people listening I moved the stool around a lot |
| [09:12.309] | This is gonna get difficult |
| [09:15.468] | But I' m glad you like poopbased puns |
| [09:16.687] | That' ll be a majority of the show so |
| [09:21.137] | Never waste a moment |
| [09:21.577] | Every moment can become a comedy moment see |
| [09:25.667] | Thank you so much I am |