| [00:02.97] |
There was a bounty hunter in the depths of space |
| [00:05.67] |
And she could easily combine your stupid ass with your face |
| [00:08.81] |
Her name was Samus Aran, and she would destroy Metroids |
| [00:11.99] |
When she wasn't totally pissed, she was extremely annoyed |
| [00:15.31] |
She stood up to every challenge, no matter however demanding |
| [00:18.63] |
And her courage was amazing, and her boobies were outstanding |
| [00:21.92] |
What?! |
| [00:22.18] |
Uh, nothing! I was just saying that you're brave |
| [00:24.92] |
Uh... okay... hey, look over there! It's Kraid! |
| [00:28.47] |
I'm the strongest dragon that you've ever seen |
| [00:31.37] |
You're gonna die, motherfucker, I take up five screens |
| [00:34.58] |
I'm gonna swallow you whole, and then you'll go down easy! |
| [00:37.89] |
Then you'll be digested and converted to feces! |
| [00:41.19] |
I'll take off your helmet, see the fear in your eyes |
| [00:44.26] |
And your beautiful hair, and your well-toned thighs |
| [00:47.43] |
And your pillowy lips and... wait, you're not a guy? |
| [00:50.71] |
Is that a problem, you fuck?! |
| [00:51.99] |
Uh... no! Prepare to die! |
| [00:54.03] |
Kraid was hesitating, but Samus was set to fight |
| [00:56.93] |
She got into a battle stance that made her butt look super-tight |
| [01:00.10] |
And Kraid said: |
| [01:00.75] |
No wait, I think there has been a gigantic mistake |
| [01:03.36] |
I actually just wanted to give you some desserts that I baked |
| [01:06.84] |
But Samus said: |
| [01:07.63] |
What pisses me off most in this world |
| [01:09.78] |
Is when enemies get nice when they all find out I'm a girl |
| [01:13.05] |
So do me a favor, and take your cakes and your pies |
| [01:16.11] |
And shove them so far up your ass that they end up behind your eyes! |
| [01:19.72] |
Stop treating me like I'm a sex object! |
| [01:22.75] |
Mother Brain's a woman, but she gets respect! |
| [01:25.50] |
Yeah, Kraid, you never talk to me that way! |
| [01:29.04] |
Oh, gosh, I wonder if it's because you're a huge, disgusting brain! |
| [01:32.21] |
Get the fuck off my planet, this is your last chance! |
| [01:35.31] |
I'm gonna go ahead and slide out of my pants |
| [01:38.48] |
That's it, you're all fucking dead! |
| [01:40.13] |
What? This room feels stuffy |
| [01:41.81] |
By the way, do you like puppies? |
| [01:43.64] |
Here's a basket of puppies! |
| [01:48.99] |
Whoops. Killed the puppies. |