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Hey |
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Hey |
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Alright |
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Yeah |
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Aww yeah |
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My name is Link, y'all, I'm straight outta Hyrule |
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Been on the force o' good since 1986, old school |
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I'm bringin' you a laid-back summertime jam |
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Hold on a minute Link! |
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Hey, what's up old man? |
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I see that you're embarkin' on another epic quest |
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You're gonna use your ocarina to rescue the princess |
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But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss |
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It's dangerous to go alone, take this |
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Oh, thanks Old Man, that is really very nice |
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I can always count on you for helpful, friendly advice |
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Though I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size |
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Oh god, that's not a sword! It's your dick in disguise |
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Yes, I can't lie, I have painted my schween |
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Now grab your destiny if you know what I mean |
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Wait a minute Link, don't leave the cave, where do you think you're going? |
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This is a great chance to fondle a scrotum that you're blowing |
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That was weird, but whatever there is no time to lose |
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I gotta warp on outta Zelda in this chilled out groove |
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Wait, this isn't Ganon's lair, I'm in Liberty City |
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This place looks just like Philadelphia but even more shitty |
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I'm at the corner of Dead Cop and Prostitute Junction |
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Something in my Ocarina must have gone and malfunctioned |
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I gotta fix it quickly there is justice to do |
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Hold on a minute Link! |
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Old Man, is that you? |
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This is a place you can't survive with just your sword and your wits |
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It's dangerous to go alone, take this |
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Well that's really kind o- D'aaah! That's your wrinkled dick again |
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Look, I know I wear a tunic but I'm not into men |
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Don't be that way bitch let me introduce you |
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To my three best friends Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew |
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If you see the Princess Zelda, well you know you're gonna grab her |
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So why don't you try to come grab my inflatable poo jabber |
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Oh my god! |
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I gotta warp outta here, Princess Zelda awaits |
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I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too late |
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Okay, now I really don't know where I am |
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Hold on a minute Link! |
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God damn it, Old Man! |
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You're in Raccoon City, it's a zombie abyss |
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It's dangerous to go alone, take- |
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No! |
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Fuck you! |
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Fuck you, I'm not giving you a- |
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Not touching your we- |
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Stop the chilled out groove! |
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Jeez! |
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You come in here telling me you got a weewee weapon |
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It's not cool, I'm not gonna touch it, I'm not gonna spl-no! |
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So is that a "No" on the handjob or...? Okay. |