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The land is burning and dry under hot desert skies. |
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My gut is churning but you won't see fear in my eyes. |
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Nothing to lose as I climb in and look to the roads, |
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Then light the fuse of the cannon, which promptly explodes. |
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The blast sends me skyward and into free fall, |
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With one final thought as I head towards the wall: |
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I'll get that Road-Runner if it's the last thing I do. |
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If Murphy's Laws are religion, I must be a saint. |
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What else explains semis bursting from tunnels I paint? |
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A thousand Rube Goldberg nightmares lie smashed in my garage -- |
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How many falling pianos can that damn bird dodge? |
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From magnetic birdseed to dynamite darts, |
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I could buy General Mills with what I spend on parts, |
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But I'll get that Road-Runner if it's the last thing I do. |
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I should forget it, he's not big enough for a stew. |
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My line of credit with Acme is ten years past due. |
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Got no insurance, I can't sign for claims with my paws. |
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In vile durance for breaking most EPA laws. |
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But my super genius will deal with that dunce, |
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Remember that I have to win only once, |
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And I'll get him someday -- perhaps I should try something new. |
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My canyon compactor was perfect to echo my screams. |
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My backpack reactor worked fine, until I crossed the beams. |
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My bomb extender snapped back with the lit TNT. |
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My flying blender was just a tad quicker than me. |
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But I'm smarter, I'm stronger, and he's only fast, |
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Let's hear him "beep beep" with his head up his ass, |
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And I'll get that Road-Runner if it's the last thing I do! |
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(spoken) |
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.... Eureka! That's it! |
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EARTHQUAKE PILLS!! |
