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I pounded on a farmhouse |
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Lookin' for a place to stay |
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I was mighty, mighty tired |
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I had come a long, long way |
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I said, "Hey, hey, in there |
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Is there anybody home ? |
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I was standin' on the steps |
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Feelin' must alone |
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Well, out comes a farmer |
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He must have thought that I was nuts |
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He immediately looked at me |
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And stuck a gun into my guts |
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I fell down |
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To my bended knees |
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Saying, "I dig farmers |
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Don't shoot me please" |
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He cocked his rifle |
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And began to shout |
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"You're that travelin' salesman |
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That I have heard about"v I said, "No ! No ! No ! |
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I'm a doctor and it's true |
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I'm a clean-cut kid |
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And I been to college too". |
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Then in comes his daughter |
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Whose name was Rita |
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She looked like she stepped out of |
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La Dolce Vita |
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I immediately tried to cool it |
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With her dad |
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And told him what a |
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Nice, pretty farm he had |
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He said, "What do doctors |
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Know about farms, pray tell ?" |
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I said, "I was born |
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At the bottom of a wishing well". |
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Well, by the dirt 'neath my nails |
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I guess he knew I wouldn't lie |
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He said "I guess, you're tired" |
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He said, kinds sly |
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I said, "Yes, ten thousand miles |
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Today I drove" |
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He said, "I got a bed for you |
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Underneath the stove |
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Just one condition |
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You got to sleep right now |
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That you don't touch my daughter |
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And in the morning, milk the cow". |
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I was sleepin' like a rat |
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When I heard something jerkin' |
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There stood Rita |
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Lookin' just like Tony Perkins |
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She said, "Would you like to take a shower ? |
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I'll show you up to the door" |
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I said, "Oh, no, no |
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I've been through this movie before |
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I knew I had to split |
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But I didn't know how |
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When she said, |
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"Would you like to take that shower now ?" |
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Well, I couldn't leave |
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Unless the old man chased me out |
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'Cause I'd already promised |
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That I'd milk his cows |
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I had to say something |
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To strike him very weird |
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So I yelled out |
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"I like Fidel Castro and his beard" |
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Rita looked offended |
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But she got out of the way |
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As he came charging down the stairs |
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Sayin', "What's that I heard you say ?" |
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I said, "I like Fidel Castrov I think you heard me right" |
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And I ducked as he swung |
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At me with all his might |
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Rita mumbled something |
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'Bout her mother on the hill |
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As his fist hit the icebox |
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He said he's going to kill me |
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If I don't get out of the door |
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In two seconds flat |
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"Your unpatriotic |
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Rotten doctor Commie rat". |
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Well, he threw a Reader's Digest |
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At my head and I did run |
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I did a somersault |
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As I seen him get his gun |
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And chrashed through the window |
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At a hundred miles an hour |
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And landed fully blast |
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In his garden flowers |
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Rita said, "Come back" |
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As he started to load |
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The sun was comin' up |
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And I was runnin' down the road. |
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Well, I don't figure I'll be back |
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There for a spell |
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Even though Rita moved away |
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And got a job in a motel |
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He still waits for me |
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Constant on the sky |
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He wants to turn me in |
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To the FBI |
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Me, I romp and stomping |
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Thankful as a romp |
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Without freedom of speech |
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I might be in the swamp. |
