| [00:35.00] | 人缘好与坏，只有办葬礼那天才知道 |
| [00:42.58] | 我不打你，你就不知道我文武双全 |
| [00:49.64] | |
| [01:08.87] | 一个人的快活，两个人的生活，三个人就是你死我活 |
| [01:17.22] | 神州行我看行，我不缴费，看你行不行 |
| [01:24.33] | 距离产生的不是美，是小三 |
| [01:31.29] | 男人的实力，就是你兜里的人民币 |
| [01:44.00] | 一本正经的外表，掩饰不了你一颗闷骚的心 |
| [01:49.82] | 货有过期日，人又看腻时，你在我心里，能装B几时 |
| [02:05.00] | 这两年猪咬人不是新闻，结婚十年不离婚才是新闻 |
| [02:14.02] | 小鸟虽小，可它玩的却是整个天空 |
| [02:31.91] | 狐狸不是妖，性感不是骚，女人混好了就是嫂子，混不好就是... |
| [02:44.01] | 女人用丝袜征服男人，男人用丝袜征服银行 |
| [02:58.61] | 最低奋斗目标：农妇，山泉，有点田 |
| [03:13.55] | 女人擅长的只是化妆，而男人擅长的却是伪装 |
| [03:22.09] | 一个简单的旋律，总是勾起一段不简单的回忆 |
| [03:27.52] | 唐僧再厉害，也不过是个耍猴的 |
| [03:35.44] | 不怕讨债的是英雄，就怕欠债的是真穷 |
| [03:56.08] | 你不是仙人掌，何必那么坚强 |
| [04:01.00] | 没有癞蛤蟆，天鹅也会寂寞 |
| [04:09.89] | 别提过去，别问将来，珍惜现在美好的这一刻 |
| [04:18.32] | 女人是招商银行，男人则是建设银行 |
| [04:38.76] | 不想过早的拥有，是因为怕过早的失去 |
| [04:45.33] | 锄禾日当午，啥都不靠谱；闲来没事做，不如斗地主，我抢地主 |
| [05:44.31] | 当你用QQ卡哥的时候，哥只能告诉你一句话‘黑名单有你更精彩’ |
| [05:56.00] | 有帅有车，那是象棋，有钱有房，那是银行 |
| [06:01.48] | 放眼过去全是祸，老妹儿你想跟谁过 |
| [06:22.95] | 爱情不过是寂寞时扯把美丽的犊子 |
| [06:28.00] | 唾沫不是用来喷人的，是用来数钞票的 |
| [06:37.64] | 长相无可挑剔，身材黄金比例；玩得起继续，玩不起出局 |
| [06:46.00] | 你有病啊？请问大哥你有药吗？ |
| [06:51.38] | 要想整倒一个男人，就得送他一个女人 |
| [06:56.30] | 想污染一个地方有两种办法：垃圾或是钞票 |
| [07:09.28] | 问世间情为何物，没钱你就是废物 |
| [07:14.88] | 生死看淡，不服你就干 |
| [07:28.94] | 真心不如红钞票，感情只是性的需要 |
| [07:35.55] | 玩得嗨，想得开，啪啪一顿小平拍 |
| [07:42.83] | 世界那么乱，装纯给谁看 |
| [07:46.25] | 我长得很难看，你得耐心看 |
| [07:52.09] | 世界不肮脏，何来的悲伤 |
| [07:57.99] | 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡 |
| [08:16.26] | 累吗？累就对了，舒服是留给死人的 |
| [08:23.87] | 哥不是你的小浣熊，玩不出你的其乐无穷 |
| [08:30.00] | 广告就是告诉人们，钱可以这么花 |
| [08:36.89] | 真爱就好像鬼，相信的人多，看见的人少 |
| [08:45.95] | 你说的开始，是我们结束的倒计时 |
| [08:50.00] | 各种语言各种闹，各种小科各种套，各种小房各种开，各种女人各种嗨 |
| [00:35.00] | ren yuan hao yu huai, zhi you ban zang li na tian cai zhi dao |
| [00:42.58] | wo bu da ni, ni jiu bu zhi dao wo wen wu shuang quan |
| [00:49.64] | |
| [01:08.87] | yi ge ren de kuai huo, liang ge ren de sheng huo, san ge ren jiu shi ni si wo huo |
| [01:17.22] | shen zhou xing wo kan xing, wo bu jiao fei, kan ni xing bu xing |
| [01:24.33] | ju li chan sheng de bu shi mei, shi xiao san |
| [01:31.29] | nan ren de shi li, jiu shi ni dou li de ren min bi |
| [01:44.00] | yi ben zheng jing de wai biao, yan shi bu liao ni yi ke men sao de xin |
| [01:49.82] | huo you guo qi ri, ren you kan ni shi, ni zai wo xin li, neng zhuang B ji shi |
| [02:05.00] | zhe liang nian zhu yao ren bu shi xin wen, jie hun shi nian bu li hun cai shi xin wen |
| [02:14.02] | xiao niao sui xiao, ke ta wan de que shi zheng ge tian kong |
| [02:31.91] | hu li bu shi yao, xing gan bu shi sao, nv ren hun hao le jiu shi sao zi, hun bu hao jiu shi... |
| [02:44.01] | nv ren yong si wa zheng fu nan ren, nan ren yong si wa zheng fu yin hang |
| [02:58.61] | zui di fen dou mu biao: nong fu, shan quan, you dian tian |
| [03:13.55] | nv ren shan chang de zhi shi hua zhuang, er nan ren shan chang de que shi wei zhuang |
| [03:22.09] | yi ge jian dan de xuan lv, zong shi gou qi yi duan bu jian dan de hui yi |
| [03:27.52] | tang seng zai li hai, ye bu guo shi ge shua hou de |
| [03:35.44] | bu pa tao zhai de shi ying xiong, jiu pa qian zhai de shi zhen qiong |
| [03:56.08] | ni bu shi xian ren zhang, he bi na me jian qiang |
| [04:01.00] | mei you lai ha ma, tian e ye hui ji mo |
| [04:09.89] | bie ti guo qu, bie wen jiang lai, zhen xi xian zai mei hao de zhe yi ke |
| [04:18.32] | nv ren shi zhao shang yin hang, nan ren ze shi jian she yin hang |
| [04:38.76] | bu xiang guo zao de yong you, shi yin wei pa guo zao de shi qu |
| [04:45.33] | chu he ri dang wu, sha dou bu kao pu xian lai mei shi zuo, bu ru dou di zhu, wo qiang di zhu |
| [05:44.31] | dang ni yong QQ ka ge de shi hou, ge zhi neng gao su ni yi ju hua' hei ming dan you ni geng jing cai' |
| [05:56.00] | you shuai you che, na shi xiang qi, you qian you fang, na shi yin hang |
| [06:01.48] | fang yan guo qu quan shi huo, lao mei er ni xiang gen shui guo |
| [06:22.95] | ai qing bu guo shi ji mo shi che ba mei li de du zi |
| [06:28.00] | tuo mo bu shi yong lai pen ren de, shi yong lai shu chao piao de |
| [06:37.64] | zhang xiang wu ke tiao ti, shen cai huang jin bi li wan de qi ji xu, wan bu qi chu ju |
| [06:46.00] | ni you bing a? qing wen da ge ni you yao ma? |
| [06:51.38] | yao xiang zheng dao yi ge nan ren, jiu de song ta yi ge nv ren |
| [06:56.30] | xiang wu ran yi ge di fang you liang zhong ban fa: la ji huo shi chao piao |
| [07:09.28] | wen shi jian qing wei he wu, mei qian ni jiu shi fei wu |
| [07:14.88] | sheng si kan dan, bu fu ni jiu gan |
| [07:28.94] | zhen xin bu ru hong chao piao, gan qing zhi shi xing de xu yao |
| [07:35.55] | wan de hai, xiang de kai, pa pa yi dun xiao ping pai |
| [07:42.83] | shi jie na me luan, zhuang chun gei shui kan |
| [07:46.25] | wo zhang de hen nan kan, ni de nai xin kan |
| [07:52.09] | shi jie bu ang zang, he lai de bei shang |
| [07:57.99] | yao jie yue yong shui, jin liang he nv you yi qi xi zao |
| [08:16.26] | lei ma? lei jiu dui le, shu fu shi liu gei si ren de |
| [08:23.87] | ge bu shi ni de xiao huan xiong, wan bu chu ni de qi le wu qiong |
| [08:30.00] | guang gao jiu shi gao su ren men, qian ke yi zhe me hua |
| [08:36.89] | zhen ai jiu hao xiang gui, xiang xin de ren duo, kan jian de ren shao |
| [08:45.95] | ni shuo de kai shi, shi wo men jie shu de dao ji shi |
| [08:50.00] | ge zhong yu yan ge zhong nao, ge zhong xiao ke ge zhong tao, ge zhong xiao fang ge zhong kai, ge zhong nv ren ge zhong hai |
| [00:35.00] | rén yuán hǎo yǔ huài, zhǐ yǒu bàn zàng lǐ nà tiān cái zhī dào |
| [00:42.58] | wǒ bù dǎ nǐ, nǐ jiù bù zhī dào wǒ wén wǔ shuāng quán |
| [00:49.64] | |
| [01:08.87] | yí ge rén de kuài huó, liǎng gè rén de shēng huó, sān ge rén jiù shì nǐ sǐ wǒ huó |
| [01:17.22] | shén zhōu xíng wǒ kàn xíng, wǒ bù jiǎo fèi, kàn nǐ xíng bù xíng |
| [01:24.33] | jù lí chǎn shēng de bú shì měi, shì xiǎo sān |
| [01:31.29] | nán rén de shí lì, jiù shì nǐ dōu lǐ de rén mín bì |
| [01:44.00] | yī běn zhèng jīng de wài biǎo, yǎn shì bù liǎo nǐ yī kē mèn sāo de xīn |
| [01:49.82] | huò yǒu guò qī rì, rén yòu kàn nì shí, nǐ zài wǒ xīn lǐ, néng zhuāng B jǐ shí |
| [02:05.00] | zhè liǎng nián zhū yǎo rén bú shì xīn wén, jié hūn shí nián bù lí hūn cái shì xīn wén |
| [02:14.02] | xiǎo niǎo suī xiǎo, kě tā wán de què shì zhěng gè tiān kōng |
| [02:31.91] | hú lí bú shì yāo, xìng gǎn bú shì sāo, nǚ rén hùn hǎo le jiù shì sǎo zi, hùn bù hǎo jiù shì... |
| [02:44.01] | nǚ rén yòng sī wà zhēng fú nán rén, nán rén yòng sī wà zhēng fú yín háng |
| [02:58.61] | zuì dī fèn dòu mù biāo: nóng fù, shān quán, yǒu diǎn tián |
| [03:13.55] | nǚ rén shàn cháng de zhǐ shì huà zhuāng, ér nán rén shàn cháng de què shì wěi zhuāng |
| [03:22.09] | yí gè jiǎn dān de xuán lǜ, zǒng shì gōu qǐ yī duàn bù jiǎn dān de huí yì |
| [03:27.52] | táng sēng zài lì hài, yě bù guò shì gè shuǎ hóu de |
| [03:35.44] | bù pà tǎo zhài de shì yīng xióng, jiù pà qiàn zhài de shì zhēn qióng |
| [03:56.08] | nǐ bú shì xiān rén zhǎng, hé bì nà me jiān qiáng |
| [04:01.00] | méi yǒu lài há má, tiān é yě huì jì mò |
| [04:09.89] | bié tí guò qù, bié wèn jiāng lái, zhēn xī xiàn zài měi hǎo de zhè yī kè |
| [04:18.32] | nǚ rén shì zhāo shāng yín háng, nán rén zé shì jiàn shè yín háng |
| [04:38.76] | bù xiǎng guò zǎo de yōng yǒu, shì yīn wèi pà guò zǎo de shī qù |
| [04:45.33] | chú hé rì dāng wǔ, shà dōu bù kào pǔ xián lái méi shì zuò, bù rú dòu dì zhǔ, wǒ qiāng dì zhǔ |
| [05:44.31] | dāng nǐ yòng QQ kǎ gē de shí hòu, gē zhǐ néng gào sù nǐ yī jù huà' hēi míng dān yǒu nǐ gèng jīng cǎi' |
| [05:56.00] | yǒu shuài yǒu chē, nà shi xiàng qí, yǒu qián yǒu fáng, nà shi yín háng |
| [06:01.48] | fàng yǎn guò qù quán shì huò, lǎo mèi ér nǐ xiǎng gēn shuí guò |
| [06:22.95] | ài qíng bù guò shì jì mò shí chě bǎ měi lì de dú zǐ |
| [06:28.00] | tuò mò bú shì yòng lái pēn rén de, shì yòng lái shù chāo piào de |
| [06:37.64] | zhǎng xiàng wú kě tiāo tī, shēn cái huáng jīn bǐ lì wán dé qǐ jì xù, wán bù qǐ chū jú |
| [06:46.00] | nǐ yǒu bìng a? qǐng wèn dà gē nǐ yǒu yào ma? |
| [06:51.38] | yào xiǎng zhěng dào yí gè nán rén, jiù dé sòng tā yí gè nǚ rén |
| [06:56.30] | xiǎng wū rǎn yí gè dì fāng yǒu liǎng zhǒng bàn fǎ: lā jī huò shì chāo piào |
| [07:09.28] | wèn shì jiān qíng wèi hé wù, méi qián nǐ jiù shì fèi wù |
| [07:14.88] | shēng sǐ kàn dàn, bù fú nǐ jiù gàn |
| [07:28.94] | zhēn xīn bù rú hóng chāo piào, gǎn qíng zhǐ shì xìng de xū yào |
| [07:35.55] | wán dé hāi, xiǎng de kāi, pā pā yī dùn xiǎo píng pāi |
| [07:42.83] | shì jiè nà me luàn, zhuāng chún gěi shuí kàn |
| [07:46.25] | wǒ zhǎng de hěn nán kàn, nǐ dé nài xīn kàn |
| [07:52.09] | shì jiè bù āng zāng, hé lái de bēi shāng |
| [07:57.99] | yào jié yuē yòng shuǐ, jǐn liàng hé nǚ yǒu yì qǐ xǐ zǎo |
| [08:16.26] | lèi ma? lèi jiù duì le, shū fú shì liú gěi sǐ rén de |
| [08:23.87] | gē bú shì nǐ de xiǎo huàn xióng, wán bù chū nǐ de qí lè wú qióng |
| [08:30.00] | guǎng gào jiù shì gào sù rén men, qián kě yǐ zhè me huā |
| [08:36.89] | zhēn ài jiù hǎo xiàng guǐ, xiāng xìn de rén duō, kàn jiàn de rén shǎo |
| [08:45.95] | nǐ shuō de kāi shǐ, shì wǒ men jié shù de dǎo jì shí |
| [08:50.00] | gè zhǒng yǔ yán gè zhǒng nào, gè zhǒng xiǎo kē gè zhǒng tào, gè zhǒng xiǎo fáng gè zhǒng kāi, gè zhǒng nǚ rén gè zhǒng hāi |
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