| [00:01.00] | 表演者：赵本山 刘小光 田娃 赵海燕 |
| [00:05.13] | 年份：2013 |
| [00:08.06] | 赵本山：老伴啊，我回来啦！ |
| [00:11.72] | 海燕：老头子，你可回来了，你挺好的呗。 |
| [00:18.87] | 赵本山：挺好的，挺好的。 |
| [00:21.29] | 海燕：老伴啊，我报告你个好消息，有喜了！ |
| [00:25.24] | 赵本山：什么？ |
| [00:28.65] | 海燕：有..喜...了！ |
| [00:30.06] | 赵本山：别闹了，你都五十了还有什么喜。 |
| [00:34.60] | 海燕：不是我有喜了，是你有喜了。死老头子，你中奖了。 |
| [00:41.28] | 赵本山：我？ |
| [00:42.57] | 海燕：六十万呐。 |
| [00:45.65] | 赵本山：你发烧了吧？我中啥奖啊？ |
| [00:50.30] | 海燕：我发什么烧啊，那铁岭电视台滚动播出，你搁那滚半下午了。有一个监控录像拍下来的。就你在一个长条桌子前面。完了，给钱，递你个票。就那发票中奖了。 |
| [01:07.21] | 赵本山：这啥前的事啊？我怎么不知道呢？哪发票啊？ |
| [01:10.65] | 海燕：不是，我都眼看你揣大衣挎兜儿了。发票呢？ |
| [01:13.62] | 赵本山：昂？ |
| [01:18.93] | 海燕：哎呀妈呀，这不就是吗！哈呀，发票号我都记手上了。我对对啊，哎呀，一摸一样的。老伴啊，六十万那。六十万！ |
| [01:35.02] | 赵本山：真的假的？上哪领去？ |
| [01:37.55] | 海燕：看...这上边不有地址嘛。红浪漫休闲洗浴桑拿中心，消费金额，一万两千零...七块钱。你洗澡去了啊？ |
| [01:56.76] | 赵本山：洗澡了，嘿嘿~走啊，那领去啊 |
| [02:01.21]海燕：先别着急领，那咋花那么多钱呢？[1] | |
| [02:04.53] | 赵本山：不是我花的，是我们那个老总，过年了，请我洗的澡。你看我的钱拿回来了。十月一走的，这不~一万八嘛，这都给你。哎呀妈呀，中这些呢？ |
| [02:17.18] | 海燕：不是，你洗没洗吧？ |
| [02:19.48] | 赵本山：我洗啦。 |
| [02:20.68] | 海燕：那咋花那么多钱呢？ |
| [02:23.02] | 赵本山：你管花多少钱干啥啊，你看着中的比那花的多多了。你还... |
| [02:27.44] | 海燕：不是，人家请客，人家请客，你也不能实际嚯嚯啊？ |
| [02:31.56] | 赵本山：不是，你怀疑我啊？ |
| [02:33.99] | 海燕：我倒不怀疑你，咱俩过这些年了，我还不了解你呀！关键你说咱俩去领奖去，人家记者万一要是问你，大爷~你咋得的奖啊？我说我洗澡去了，我花一万二，完了我中六十万。你洗澡花那么多钱？ |
| [02:53.64] | 赵本山：这钱还真不好领了呢，那咱不要了咋的？ |
| [02:56.39] | 海燕：不要也不行啊！那电视上你搁那滚呢！ |
| [03:01.74] | 赵本山：哎呀，我想起来了。仨人，还有咱屯刘老四，还有他儿子刘老五。 |
| [03:04.79] | 海燕：仨人洗一万二，一人四千。 |
| [03:11.60] | 赵本山：那也多哈？ |
| [03:13.06] | 海燕：他俩回来没？ |
| [03:13.89] | 赵本山：回来了，跟我一起回来的。 |
| [03:14.92] | 海燕：赶紧给他叫过来吗，对一对 |
| [03:15.96] | 赵本山：我给他打个电话，确实这个事是个事儿。打电话中：老四啊，你到家没？你别进屋了，你和你儿子老五你俩来，啊，那个什么，你嫂子说有个事对不上了，赶紧过来吧。 |
| [03:35.06] | 海燕：当前对。 |
| [03:35.96] | 赵本山：当面对，你快点的。你到这来你就如实说吧。快点~~！ |
| [03:43.23] | 刘小光登场：快走啊，快走！ |
| [03:45.01] | 田娃登场：爹啊，咋的了？ |
| [03:48.64] | 刘小光：那什么，你大爷让过去一趟呢。 |
| [03:51.37] | 田娃：这还没到家呢，啥事这么急啊？ |
| [03:53.56] | 刘小光：你大爷打电话挺急的。说~说是有个事对不上了。儿子，你到那千万少说话，听见没？你大娘那性格，我瞅着都的瑟。 |
| [04:02.81] | 田娃：那我不去了。 |
| [04:04.44] | 刘小光：你不去行吗？咱三个的事儿。 |
| [04:07.09] | 田娃：那她要问我咋整啊？ |
| [04:09.55] | 刘小光：问你就说不知道！嫂子？ |
| [04:12.56] | 海燕：老四来了？坐吧！ |
| [04:16.95] | 赵本山：站起来！你俩能让我省点心不？干啥啊？... |
| [04:24.03] | 海燕：过去...坐吧，老四。 |
| [04:38.83] | 刘小光：给你大娘拜年呐？ |
| [04:40.46] | 田娃：大娘，晚上好！ |
| [04:43.52] | 刘小光：过..过年 |
| [04:44.88] | 赵本山：没事啊。 |
| [04:46.72] | 海燕：老四啊？在外边挺顺利的？ |
| [04:56.60] | 刘小光：儿子咱顺利不？ |
| [05:00.02] | 田娃：我，我也不知道啊。 |
| [05:02.86] | 赵本山：顺利不顺利，咋不顺利啊？ |
| [05:07.89] | 刘小光，田娃：顺利！ |
| [05:12.02] | 海燕：拿回来多少钱啊？ |
| [05:15.31] | 刘小光：大哥我应该拿回来多少钱？ |
| [05:18.96] | 赵本山：你拿回多少钱是你的，我钱都交了，咱俩一边多。 |
| [05:23.15] | 海燕：话多... |
| [05:24.98] | 刘小光：嫂子，我跟我大哥俺俩一边多。 |
| [05:28.40] | 海燕：一边多不也有个数吗？你拿回来多少钱？ |
| [05:30.70] | 刘小光：你猜？ |
| [05:34.64] | 赵本山：你干啥玩意？你让人猜啥啊？你就说多少，哎呀妈呀。没事也让你整出事了。 |
| [05:41.67] | 海燕：话太多... |
| [05:44.59] | 刘小光：儿子，我拿回来多少钱？ |
| [05:48.69] | 田娃：不知道啊！ |
| [05:50.31] | 刘小光：那要不搁你妈那儿呢？ |
| [05:53.22] | 田娃：你别吓唬我，我妈不死了吗？ |
| [05:58.90] | 赵本山：你干啥玩意？他妈都死二十年了！你嫂子也知道。你撒这慌干啥啊？就说呗，不是这个事。 |
| [06:08.10]刘小光：哦，那我拿回来三万。[1] | |
| [06:12.12] | 海燕：对上了。 |
| [06:14.91] | 赵本山：哎？你加班了？ |
| [06:18.00] | 刘小光：大哥，你钱丢了？ |
| [06:21.98] | 赵本山：什么我钱丢了，你怎么能拿回三万了呢？你存了吗？你钱呢？ |
| [06:24.46] | 刘小光：我钱，我~我不还没存呢吗，这不三摞嘛！这~这不在这搁着呢嘛。 |
| [06:29.51] | 田娃：爹，那我那钱呢？ |
| [06:34.77] | 刘小光：这~不在这呢嘛，这~这是。 |
| [06:36.95] | 赵本山：那不你俩的吗，你俩加在一起三万嘛 |
| [06:37.82] | 田娃：昂啊。 |
| [06:38.59] | 刘小光：对啊。 |
| [06:41.28] | 赵本山：你多少？ |
| [06:41.84] | 田娃：一万二。 |
| [06:42.80] | 赵本山：你呢？ |
| [06:43.13] | 刘小光：我一万八。 |
| [06:44.17] | 赵本山：这不对上了吗？ |
| [06:44.59] | 刘小光：对上那我回去了。哎呀，给我整一身汗啊。 |
| [06:49.10] | 赵本山：别啊，没有没对正事呢。坐那儿！你就直接问他得了。就洗澡那事儿。 |
| [06:58.25] | 海燕：老四，你们洗澡去了。 |
| [07:04.23] | 刘小光：哪次啊？ |
| [07:06.66] | 赵本山：咱一共洗多少次啊，孩子。 |
| [07:09.09] | 田娃：咱不总洗吗。 |
| [07:12.74] | 赵本山：总洗那事大众浴池。咱最后，咱们前半个月，吴总请咱们那次，洗最狠那次。 |
| [07:20.12]田娃：啊~那次，红浪漫吧。[1] | |
| [07:23.08] | 海燕：对，红浪漫，对~ |
| [07:26.97] | 刘小光：啊，那就吴老板请那回啊。 |
| [07:28.27] | 赵本山：对啊！ |
| [07:29.03] | 刘小光：哎呀，那会洗的那个，吴老板真没拿我们当外人啊，吴~...大哥这个让说不？ |
| [07:37.37] | 赵本山：说呗，你就是快说别整事。 |
| [07:40.69] | 田娃：昂啊，你让说我说吧。我爹说不明白。大娘啊，红浪漫，太好了。现在做梦还想呢，那地方就不说被的。那保安，太潇洒了，我就想当保安。吴总拉着我们搁大门刚一进来，你看那保安~~敬礼！！！来~院里有车位，来~跟我来，右打舵...倒~倒~倒~咣！好嘞~！再往前上~吴总那个~... |
| [08:14.81] | 刘小光：你~坐下~坐下...下骨碌我学啊，你听我说，嫂子，你真应该让我大哥，领你出去见识见识。就我长这样，那浴池门啊，都老尊重我了，我往那一站，那浴池纳闷自动...欻~就开了。当时我大哥说，别动~电梯，我就买进去了，俺们在里等有五分钟，也没往上升啊，我回头一瞅，这堵一堆人了，我就听有人吵吵，抓紧时间往里走，在那站着干啥呢？一会儿上楼开会！ |
| [08:51.66] | 田娃：不对~你喊那不对，爹~人家这么喊的：先生晚上好，欢迎光临红浪漫，拖鞋手牌拿好楼上请，男宾三位~~~！ |
| [09:02.14] | 刘小光：这~这~呵呵呵~哈哈~对，对~对~ |
| [09:04.32] | 赵本山：对，就这个事儿。 |
| [09:08.56] | 刘小光：这孩子一瞅你就当保安的材料，爸我花点钱我也让你去。 |
| [09:15.73] | 海燕：洗完了~~~？ |
| [09:19.36] | 刘小光：没洗呢。 |
| [09:24.32] | 海燕：你就说咋洗的？ |
| [09:26.85] | 刘小光：啊，那洗~那里头。嫂子，那可真太好了，就是你一进那屋啊，那雾气昭昭的，就像王母娘娘蟠桃会似的。当时我仔细一看，底下有个大池子，我大哥那~懂啊，我大哥说：先别动啊，别说到时候让人家笑话，我先进去给你们打个样。我大哥就上去了，上去了这个，哦呵~额~~~~喔~~~哎哟...呜~~~... |
| [10:10.75] | 赵本山：样吧~。 |
| [10:20.34] | 刘小光：我大哥就坐里了嘛，坐里了，这功夫就小鱼啊。就过来亲我大哥腿，当时给我大哥亲的。哎哟，妈呀~哎哟~~哎呀~~...哎哟~哟~呀~...不行啊，这什么玩意啊？哎呀~呀~哎呀！！！ |
| [10:33.69]海燕：停！小芸是谁？[1] | |
| [10:41.24] | 赵本山：是小鱼！ |
| [10:43.95] | 海燕：多大岁数了？ |
| [10:46.27] | 赵本山：我没问啊。 |
| [10:48.87] | 海燕：呸~要不要你那老脸了？不问多大岁数就亲了？ |
| [10:53.79] | 赵本山：不是，你挺啥呢？小鱼，不是小芸。是吃那鱼！现在鱼吃人了，小鱼温泉，都那么大，啃腿。你咋说的啊？你跟你大娘说。 |
| [11:09.07] | 海燕：我不乐意听你说。孩子，你实惠你说。 |
| [11:13.80] | 田娃：是，是鱼。游那个鱼 |
| [11:15.36] | 赵本山：你看，鱼！ |
| [11:17.34] | 海燕：鱼？ |
| [11:17.84] | 田娃：那叫小鱼温泉嘛~ |
| [11:19.15] | 海燕：啃腿？ |
| [11:20.16] | 田娃：啊。可痒痒了。 |
| [11:22.05] | 海燕：完了呢？ |
| [11:23.34] | 田娃：完了我，不知道了。 |
| [11:28.17] | 刘小光：你怎么能不知道，完了你大爷血压不上了来了嘛？完他就上楼了，完我俩就回工地了嘛。 |
| [11:33.20] | 田娃：对。 |
| [11:34.79] | 海燕：你俩回工地了？ |
| [11:36.05] | 刘小光：啊！ |
| [11:37.37] | 海燕：你上楼了！ |
| [11:39.22] | 赵本山：啊！ |
| [11:40.86] | 海燕：花一万二。 |
| [11:43.01] | 刘小光：花多少？ |
| [11:45.70] | 海燕：老四，嫂子不怕你笑话了，你大哥上楼了，花一万二。这发票搁着呢，我不扒瞎。 |
| [11:56.66] | 刘小光：嫂子，当时是怎么回事呢。我大哥肯定是蒸迷糊了，上楼了。他上楼了呢，我跟我儿子俺俩，一看也没啥意思了，我说咱俩回工地吧。~~快走这事管不了~~ |
| [12:13.86]赵本山：干啥去你，哎~干啥呀？[1] | |
| [12:18.20] | 刘小光：大哥你这事，我帮不了你啊大哥啊。 |
| [12:23.31] | 赵本山：什么我帮不了你？你说明白没你就走了？ |
| [12:24.87] | 刘小光：我怎么帮你说明白啊？ |
| [12:25.58] | 赵本山：怎么地你啊？ |
| [12:27.52] | 刘小光：大哥你说你这人，你现在怎么这样呢？人家吴总啊相信你了，让你打我俩洗澡去，你怎么给花出这么多钱呢？你不糟践人呢吗？ |
| [12:35.95] | 赵本山：不是，我还想问你俩。这钱到底咋花的？ |
| [12:38.56] | 刘小光：你问谁？你问谁？~你说你这~~~ |
| [12:42.48] | 赵本山：我告诉你老四，你要来年这样我不领你爷俩去了。 |
| [12:45.91] | 刘小光：俺俩还能跟你去吗？ |
| [12:48.88] | 赵本山：你俩痛快跟我说实话，今年~诹~诹~你嫂子在呢，我这冲灯说话，我要错花一分钱~~~~ |
| [12:55.22] | 刘小光：~~苍天在上，我刘老四没错花一分钱。 |
| [12:59.53] | 田娃：我刘老五除了捞点鱼剩下啥也没干。 |
| [13:04.75] | 赵本山：你干啥了？啊，起来。 |
| [13:06.92] | 刘小光：起来，你不用给他跪下~ |
| [13:09.03] | 赵本山：你干啥玩意了？ |
| [13:10.15] | 田娃：捞~捞鱼啊。 |
| [13:12.68] | 赵本山：捞温泉那里那鱼了？ |
| [13:15.25] | 田娃：对，就啃腿那个。 |
| [13:17.52] | 赵本山：对上了，要我说你这孩子，你怎么地~？你捞那鱼有啥用啊你啊？ |
| [13:34.63] | 田娃：我没想捞啊，你搁池子里一出来，那鱼就飘上来了。我一看这是啃完你腿，中毒了，我还怕别人罚你。我好心，拿个塑料袋我就兜回来了。 |
| [13:39.40] | 赵本山：你兜回来了拿家来了，有用吗？ |
| [13:44.83] | 田娃：咋没用。炸那鱼酱你不吃得挺香的吗。 |
| [13:46.68]赵本山：那鱼酱是搁那啃腿那鱼咋的啊？[1] | |
| [13:48.11] | 田娃：啊。 |
| [13:58.86] | 赵本山：哎哟，我的妈呀。对上了，那个鱼特别贵，老伴。那是训练出来的，一条得一千，十条就一万。你捞多少条？ |
| [14:00.07] | 田娃：十多条吧。 |
| [14:01.08] | 赵本山：那就对上了嘛。 |
| [14:05.68] | 田娃：没那么贵呀，我打听了，一百块钱能买一堆呢。 |
| [14:23.17] | 刘小光：别说话行吗？你大爷费多大劲啊，好不容易对上了。~~~干什么你~！！ |
| [14:28.37] | 海燕：行了，我对你有一个重新的认识。 |
| [14:33.44] | 赵本山：你别，你别老伴，你别听他瞎说。我就告诉你咱们啊别这个事啊，我这人品你应该知道。让他爷俩这一说把我说糊涂了，咱也别着急别上火，钱咱不要了，我以后今后我不洗这个澡了，我一年都不洗好不好？从今往后。 |
| [14:45.06] | 海燕：洗去！ |
| [14:47.20] | 赵本山：谁呀？~干什么玩意？ |
| [14:54.16][14:48.25] | 田娃：我不知道。 |
| [14:56.13] | 刘小光：大哥是你电话彩铃吧？ |
| [14:58.55] | 赵本山：嗯？这谁啊打的这，生号啊。 |
| [15:03.65] | 刘小光：生号大哥不行我出去接去吧？ |
| [15:06.24] | 赵本山：你别整事儿，老伴，咱们摁免提啊。让大伙听着。谁啊你，洗刷洗刷的？都不让洗了。 |
| [15:16.00] | 电话中吴经理：老赵啊，这大过年的。这么大脾气呢？ |
| [15:16.92] | 赵本山：你谁啊你？ |
| [15:20.67] | 电话中吴经理：我吴总。 |
| [15:25.53] | 赵本山：你吴总~~...呀~哎呀~哎呀呀对不起啊，吴老板啊，你好！ |
| [15:30.32] | 电话中吴经理：老赵啊，你中奖了知不知道？ |
| [15:31.78]赵本山：我~我...不是中奖这事儿我知道了，现在吧回来说不清一个事，那天那消费啊我老伴搁这块~那什么我老伴跟你说啊...客气点...~客气点...[2] | |
| [15:42.03] | 海燕：喂，那个吴总啊？ |
| [15:46.45] | 电话中吴经理：哎，嫂子好。 |
| [15:47.27] | 海燕：你好啊，谢谢你啊。对我们照顾挺好的，你大哥说了，回来你还带他去洗澡去哈，你挺舍得花钱呐？领他们三个人花一万二。 |
| [16:00.73] | 电话中吴经理：呀，嫂子你误会了吧？我请六十人，我们工地六十个农民工，我寻思过年了，请他们洗个澡，干干净净回家。 |
| [16:09.39] | 赵本山：吴老板，你说下多少人？ |
| [16:11.37] | 电话中吴经理：咱工地六十人都去了。 |
| [16:13.02] | 赵本山：六十人那？那怎么我们怎么没看着呢？ |
| [16:17.59] | 电话中吴经理：你们分批去的，你是最后一批。 |
| [16:18.38] | 赵本山：哎呀妈呀，这扯不。六十人，那这个我回头，是不是把票子给你拿去？这是你花的钱啊？ |
| [16:25.71] | 电话中吴经理：老赵大哥，我看电视了，你是第二天走的，要是头天晚上走啊？还兴许中不上这个奖。 |
| [16:31.96] | 赵本山：对~！ |
| [16:32.80] | 电话中吴经理：所以我觉得呢这是你的幸运，这个钱啊，你们自己处理吧！ |
| [16:38.79] | 赵本山：哎呀好啊谢谢你啊，吴总。哎呀我的妈呀，吴总啊！哎呀我地妈呀。 |
| [16:39.69] | 电话中吴经理：记得啊~ |
| [16:40.21] | 赵本山：啊？ |
| [16:40.77] | 电话中吴经理：回来前把那个发票给我带回来。 |
| [16:42.51] | 赵本山：谢谢你啊，最后呢。我们几个给你拜个年啊，祝你在新的一年里，事业腾飞，蓬勃发展。~~~可能撂了~...哎呀妈呀，六十人，六十人啊！这家伙把我折腾的，一人合二百，二六一万二。 |
| [17:05.39] | 海燕：老伴。 |
| [17:06.10] | 赵本山：干啥？ |
| [17:07.26] | 海燕：过来。 |
| [17:07.96] | 赵本山：干啥呀？ |
| [17:09.34]海燕：送你三个字~~~对不起~~~是我错了。[2] | |
| [17:14.46] | 赵本山：还错了，你以后别整。~...你还搁着瞅啥啊，不回家？ |
| [17:17.81] | 海燕：我不是怕你走时间长了学坏了吗。 |
| [17:23.22] | 田娃：干啥去？ |
| [17:24.17] | 刘小光：....回~回家~... |
| [17:25.63] | 田娃：你没听见发票中奖了吗？咱几个一块洗的。 |
| [17:35.90] | 刘小光：对~对。我说那个大哥你先停一下。那个咱们把中奖的钱抓紧时间分一下子？ |
| [17:39.12] | 赵本山：中奖跟你俩没关系啊？ |
| [17:41.54] | 刘小光：咋没关系呢？这不咱三个洗澡中的奖嘛？ |
| [17:44.82] | 赵本山：咱三个洗澡不假，那是头天晚上，你们不当天晚上走了吗？完我上楼睡着了嘛。早上起来服务员就告诉我说结账，完我说我们老板花钱，他说，你多喝一瓶矿泉水，你得掏七块钱，完了呢，就把发票给我了，那七块钱就这么中的奖。 |
| [18:02.96][18:00.09] | 刘小光：这七块钱可以给你，我说把中奖那钱咱们分一下子。 |
| [18:04.83] | 赵本山：你咋这样呢？老四你还要抢钱咋地？吴总咋说的？吴总说这钱是我的幸运，让我自己处理。 |
| [18:16.24] | 田娃：不对！吴总是这么说的，说：你们自己处理吧，你是你，不还有们呢吗？ |
| [18:25.54] | 刘小光：那们不就我俩吗？ |
| [18:28.60] | 海燕：行了，老伴。我听明白了，人家老四说的对，不光你们这三扇们，还有五十七扇们呢。六十扇们，六十个家庭，平均分了。一人一万，让大伙都过个好年，现在政府的政策也好了，咱们农民也富起来了。老伴啊，钱不是问题，钱拿玩意不是最重要的，感情是最重要的。继续~~~~... |
| [18:59.79] | 赵本山：行啊，分了它。 |
| [19:01.91] | 刘小光：嗯，呜呜呜呜~ |
| [19:05.60] | 田娃：不是，你干啥呀？ |
| [19:07.14] | 赵本山：干啥呢？ |
| [19:07.88] | 刘小光：我想你妈了！ |
| [00:01.00] | biao yan zhe: zhao ben shan liu xiao guang tian wa zhao hai yan |
| [00:05.13] | nian fen: 2013 |
| [00:08.06] | zhao ben shan: lao ban a, wo hui lai la! |
| [00:11.72] | hai yan: lao tou zi, ni ke hui lai le, ni ting hao de bei. |
| [00:18.87] | zhao ben shan: ting hao de, ting hao de. |
| [00:21.29] | hai yan: lao ban a, wo bao gao ni ge hao xiao xi, you xi le! |
| [00:25.24] | zhao ben shan: shen me? |
| [00:28.65] | hai yan: you.. xi... le! |
| [00:30.06] | zhao ben shan: bie nao le, ni dou wu shi le hai you shen me xi. |
| [00:34.60] | hai yan: bu shi wo you xi le, shi ni you xi le. si lao tou zi, ni zhong jiang le. |
| [00:41.28] | zhao ben shan: wo? |
| [00:42.57] | hai yan: liu shi wan na. |
| [00:45.65] | zhao ben shan: ni fa shao le ba? wo zhong sha jiang a? |
| [00:50.30] | hai yan: wo fa shen me shao a, na tie ling dian shi tai gun dong bo chu, ni ge na gun ban xia wu le. you yi ge jian kong lu xiang pai xia lai de. jiu ni zai yi ge chang tiao zhuo zi qian mian. wan le, gei qian, di ni ge piao. jiu na fa piao zhong jiang le. |
| [01:07.21] | zhao ben shan: zhe sha qian de shi a? wo zen me bu zhi dao ne? na fa piao a? |
| [01:10.65] | hai yan: bu shi, wo dou yan kan ni chuai da yi kua dou r le. fa piao ne? |
| [01:13.62] | zhao ben shan: ang? |
| [01:18.93] | hai yan: ai ya ma ya, zhe bu jiu shi ma! ha ya, fa piao hao wo dou ji shou shang le. wo dui dui a, ai ya, yi mo yi yang de. lao ban a, liu shi wan na. liu shi wan! |
| [01:35.02] | zhao ben shan: zhen de jia de? shang na ling qu? |
| [01:37.55] | hai yan: kan... zhe shang bian bu you di zhi ma. hong lang man xiu xian xi yu sang na zhong xin, xiao fei jin e, yi wan liang qian ling... qi kuai qian. ni xi zao qu le a? |
| [01:56.76] | zhao ben shan: xi zao le, hei hei zou a, na ling qu a |
| [02:01.21]海燕：先别着急领，那咋花那么多钱呢？[1] | |
| [02:04.53] | zhao ben shan: bu shi wo hua de, shi wo men na ge lao zong, guo nian le, qing wo xi de zao. ni kan wo de qian na hui lai le. shi yue yi zou de, zhe bu yi wan ba ma, zhe dou gei ni. ai ya ma ya, zhong zhei xie ne? |
| [02:17.18] | hai yan: bu shi, ni xi mei xi ba? |
| [02:19.48] | zhao ben shan: wo xi la. |
| [02:20.68] | hai yan: na za hua na me duo qian ne? |
| [02:23.02] | zhao ben shan: ni guan hua duo shao qian gan sha a, ni kan zhe zhong de bi na hua de duo duo le. ni hai... |
| [02:27.44] | hai yan: bu shi, ren jia qing ke, ren jia qing ke, ni ye bu neng shi ji huo huo a? |
| [02:31.56] | zhao ben shan: bu shi, ni huai yi wo a? |
| [02:33.99] | hai yan: wo dao bu huai yi ni, zan lia guo zhei xie nian le, wo hai bu liao jie ni ya! guan jian ni shuo zan lia qu ling jiang qu, ren jia ji zhe wan yi yao shi wen ni, da ye ni za de de jiang a? wo shuo wo xi zao qu le, wo hua yi wan er, wan le wo zhong liu shi wan. ni xi zao hua na me duo qian? |
| [02:53.64] | zhao ben shan: zhe qian hai zhen bu hao ling le ne, na zan bu yao le za de? |
| [02:56.39] | hai yan: bu yao ye bu xing a! na dian shi shang ni ge na gun ne! |
| [03:01.74] | zhao ben shan: ai ya, wo xiang qi lai le. sa ren, hai you zan tun liu lao si, hai you ta er zi liu lao wu. |
| [03:04.79] | hai yan: sa ren xi yi wan er, yi ren si qian. |
| [03:11.60] | zhao ben shan: na ye duo ha? |
| [03:13.06] | hai yan: ta lia hui lai mei? |
| [03:13.89] | zhao ben shan: hui lai le, gen wo yi qi hui lai de. |
| [03:14.92] | hai yan: gan jin gei ta jiao guo lai ma, dui yi dui |
| [03:15.96] | zhao ben shan: wo gei ta da ge dian hua, que shi zhe ge shi shi ge shi er. da dian hua zhong: lao si a, ni dao jia mei? ni bie jin wu le, ni he ni er zi lao wu ni lia lai, a, na ge shen me, ni sao zi shuo you ge shi dui bu shang le, gan jin guo lai ba. |
| [03:35.06] | hai yan: dang qian dui. |
| [03:35.96] | zhao ben shan: dang mian dui, ni kuai dian de. ni dao zhe lai ni jiu ru shi shuo ba. kuai dian! |
| [03:43.23] | liu xiao guang deng chang: kuai zou a, kuai zou! |
| [03:45.01] | tian wa deng chang: die a, za de le? |
| [03:48.64] | liu xiao guang: na shen me, ni da ye rang guo qu yi tang ne. |
| [03:51.37] | tian wa: zhe hai mei dao jia ne, sha shi zhe me ji a? |
| [03:53.56] | liu xiao guang: ni da ye da dian hua ting ji de. shuo shuo shi you ge shi dui bu shang le. er zi, ni dao na qian wan shao shuo hua, ting jian mei? ni da niang na xing ge, wo chou zhe dou de se. |
| [04:02.81] | tian wa: na wo bu qu le. |
| [04:04.44] | liu xiao guang: ni bu qu xing ma? zan san ge de shi er. |
| [04:07.09] | tian wa: na ta yao wen wo za zheng a? |
| [04:09.55] | liu xiao guang: wen ni jiu shuo bu zhi dao! sao zi? |
| [04:12.56] | hai yan: lao si lai le? zuo ba! |
| [04:16.95] | zhao ben shan: zhan qi lai! ni lia neng rang wo sheng dian xin bu? gan sha a?... |
| [04:24.03] | hai yan: guo qu... zuo ba, lao si. |
| [04:38.83] | liu xiao guang: gei ni da niang bai nian na? |
| [04:40.46] | tian wa: da niang, wan shang hao! |
| [04:43.52] | liu xiao guang: guo.. guo nian |
| [04:44.88] | zhao ben shan: mei shi a. |
| [04:46.72] | hai yan: lao si a? zai wai bian ting shun li de? |
| [04:56.60] | liu xiao guang: er zi zan shun li bu? |
| [05:00.02] | tian wa: wo, wo ye bu zhi dao a. |
| [05:02.86] | zhao ben shan: shun li bu shun li, za bu shun li a? |
| [05:07.89] | liu xiao guang, tian wa: shun li! |
| [05:12.02] | hai yan: na hui lai duo shao qian a? |
| [05:15.31] | liu xiao guang: da ge wo ying gai na hui lai duo shao qian? |
| [05:18.96] | zhao ben shan: ni na hui duo shao qian shi ni de, wo qian dou jiao le, zan lia yi bian duo. |
| [05:23.15] | hai yan: hua duo... |
| [05:24.98] | liu xiao guang: sao zi, wo gen wo da ge an lia yi bian duo. |
| [05:28.40] | hai yan: yi bian duo bu ye you ge shu ma? ni na hui lai duo shao qian? |
| [05:30.70] | liu xiao guang: ni cai? |
| [05:34.64] | zhao ben shan: ni gan sha wan yi? ni rang ren cai sha a? ni jiu shuo duo shao, ai ya ma ya. mei shi ye rang ni zheng chu shi le. |
| [05:41.67] | hai yan: hua tai duo... |
| [05:44.59] | liu xiao guang: er zi, wo na hui lai duo shao qian? |
| [05:48.69] | tian wa: bu zhi dao a! |
| [05:50.31] | liu xiao guang: na yao bu ge ni ma na er ne? |
| [05:53.22] | tian wa: ni bie xia hu wo, wo ma bu si le ma? |
| [05:58.90] | zhao ben shan: ni gan sha wan yi? ta ma dou si er shi nian le! ni sao zi ye zhi dao. ni sa zhe huang gan sha a? jiu shuo bei, bu shi zhe ge shi. |
| [06:08.10]刘小光：哦，那我拿回来三万。[1] | |
| [06:12.12] | hai yan: dui shang le. |
| [06:14.91] | zhao ben shan: ai? ni jia ban le? |
| [06:18.00] | liu xiao guang: da ge, ni qian diu le? |
| [06:21.98] | zhao ben shan: shen me wo qian diu le, ni zen me neng na hui san wan le ne? ni cun le ma? ni qian ne? |
| [06:24.46] | liu xiao guang: wo qian, wo wo bu hai mei cun ne ma, zhe bu san luo ma! zhe zhe bu zai zhe ge zhe ne ma. |
| [06:29.51] | tian wa: die, na wo na qian ne? |
| [06:34.77] | liu xiao guang: zhe bu zai zhe ne ma, zhe zhe shi. |
| [06:36.95] | zhao ben shan: na bu ni lia de ma, ni lia jia zai yi qi san wan ma |
| [06:37.82] | tian wa: ang a. |
| [06:38.59] | liu xiao guang: dui a. |
| [06:41.28] | zhao ben shan: ni duo shao? |
| [06:41.84] | tian wa: yi wan er. |
| [06:42.80] | zhao ben shan: ni ne? |
| [06:43.13] | liu xiao guang: wo yi wan ba. |
| [06:44.17] | zhao ben shan: zhe bu dui shang le ma? |
| [06:44.59] | liu xiao guang: dui shang na wo hui qu le. ai ya, gei wo zheng yi shen han a. |
| [06:49.10] | zhao ben shan: bie a, mei you mei dui zheng shi ne. zuo na er! ni jiu zhi jie wen ta de le. jiu xi zao na shi er. |
| [06:58.25] | hai yan: lao si, ni men xi zao qu le. |
| [07:04.23] | liu xiao guang: na ci a? |
| [07:06.66] | zhao ben shan: zan yi gong xi duo shao ci a, hai zi. |
| [07:09.09] | tian wa: zan bu zong xi ma. |
| [07:12.74] | zhao ben shan: zong xi na shi da zhong yu chi. zan zui hou, zan men qian ban ge yue, wu zong qing zan men na ci, xi zui hen na ci. |
| [07:20.12]田娃：啊~那次，红浪漫吧。[1] | |
| [07:23.08] | hai yan: dui, hong lang man, dui |
| [07:26.97] | liu xiao guang: a, na jiu wu lao ban qing na hui a. |
| [07:28.27] | zhao ben shan: dui a! |
| [07:29.03] | liu xiao guang: ai ya, na hui xi de na ge, wu lao ban zhen mei na wo men dang wai ren a, wu... da ge zhe ge rang shuo bu? |
| [07:37.37] | zhao ben shan: shuo bei, ni jiu shi kuai shuo bie zheng shi. |
| [07:40.69] | tian wa: ang a, ni rang shuo wo shuo ba. wo die shuo bu ming bai. da niang a, hong lang man, tai hao le. xian zai zuo meng hai xiang ne, na di fang jiu bu shuo bei de. na bao an, tai xiao sa le, wo jiu xiang dang bao an. wu zong la zhe wo men ge da men gang yi jin lai, ni kan na bao an jing li!!! lai yuan li you che wei, lai gen wo lai, you da duo... dao dao dao guang! hao lei! zai wang qian shang wu zong na ge... |
| [08:14.81] | liu xiao guang: ni zuo xia zuo xia... xia gu lu wo xue a, ni ting wo shuo, sao zi, ni zhen ying gai rang wo da ge, ling ni chu qu jian shi jian shi. jiu wo zhang zhe yang, na yu chi men a, dou lao zun zhong wo le, wo wang na yi zhan, na yu chi na men zi dong... chua jiu kai le. dang shi wo da ge shuo, bie dong dian ti, wo jiu mai jin qu le, an men zai li deng you wu fen zhong, ye mei wang shang sheng a, wo hui tou yi chou, zhe du yi dui ren le, wo jiu ting you ren chao chao, zhua jin shi jian wang li zou, zai na zhan zhe gan sha ne? yi hui er shang lou kai hui! |
| [08:51.66] | tian wa: bu dui ni han na bu dui, die ren jia zhe me han de: xian sheng wan shang hao, huan ying guang lin hong lang man, tuo xie shou pai na hao lou shang qing, nan bin san wei! |
| [09:02.14] | liu xiao guang: zhe zhe he he a ha ha dui, dui dui |
| [09:04.32] | zhao ben shan: dui, jiu zhe ge shi er. |
| [09:08.56] | liu xiao guang: zhe hai zi yi chou ni jiu dang bao an de cai liao, ba wo hua dian qian wo ye rang ni qu. |
| [09:15.73] | hai yan: xi wan le? |
| [09:19.36] | liu xiao guang: mei xi ne. |
| [09:24.32] | hai yan: ni jiu shuo za xi de? |
| [09:26.85] | liu xiao guang: a, na xi na li tou. sao zi, na ke zhen tai hao le, jiu shi ni yi jin na wu a, na wu qi zhao zhao de, jiu xiang wang mu niang niang pan tao hui shi de. dang shi wo zi xi yi kan, di xia you ge da chi zi, wo da ge na dong a, wo da ge shuo: xian bie dong a, bie shuo dao shi hou rang ren jia xiao hua, wo xian jin qu gei ni men da ge yang. wo da ge jiu shang qu le, shang qu le zhe ge, o a e o ai yo... wu... |
| [10:10.75] | zhao ben shan: yang ba. |
| [10:20.34] | liu xiao guang: wo da ge jiu zuo li le ma, zuo li le, zhe gong fu jiu xiao yu a. jiu guo lai qin wo da ge tui, dang shi gei wo da ge qin de. ai yo, ma ya ai yo ai ya... ai yo yo ya... bu xing a, zhe shen me wan yi a? ai ya ya ai ya!!! |
| [10:33.69]海燕：停！小芸是谁？[1] | |
| [10:41.24] | zhao ben shan: shi xiao yu! |
| [10:43.95] | hai yan: duo da sui shu le? |
| [10:46.27] | zhao ben shan: wo mei wen a. |
| [10:48.87] | hai yan: pei yao bu yao ni na lao lian le? bu wen duo da sui shu jiu qin le? |
| [10:53.79] | zhao ben shan: bu shi, ni ting sha ne? xiao yu, bu shi xiao yun. shi chi na yu! xian zai yu chi ren le, xiao yu wen quan, dou na me da, ken tui. ni za shuo de a? ni gen ni da niang shuo. |
| [11:09.07] | hai yan: wo bu le yi ting ni shuo. hai zi, ni shi hui ni shuo. |
| [11:13.80] | tian wa: shi, shi yu. you na ge yu |
| [11:15.36] | zhao ben shan: ni kan, yu! |
| [11:17.34] | hai yan: yu? |
| [11:17.84] | tian wa: na jiao xiao yu wen quan ma |
| [11:19.15] | hai yan: ken tui? |
| [11:20.16] | tian wa: a. ke yang yang le. |
| [11:22.05] | hai yan: wan le ne? |
| [11:23.34] | tian wa: wan le wo, bu zhi dao le. |
| [11:28.17] | liu xiao guang: ni zen me neng bu zhi dao, wan le ni da ye xue ya bu shang le lai le ma? wan ta jiu shang lou le, wan wo lia jiu hui gong di le ma. |
| [11:33.20] | tian wa: dui. |
| [11:34.79] | hai yan: ni lia hui gong di le? |
| [11:36.05] | liu xiao guang: a! |
| [11:37.37] | hai yan: ni shang lou le! |
| [11:39.22] | zhao ben shan: a! |
| [11:40.86] | hai yan: hua yi wan er. |
| [11:43.01] | liu xiao guang: hua duo shao? |
| [11:45.70] | hai yan: lao si, sao zi bu pa ni xiao hua le, ni da ge shang lou le, hua yi wan er. zhe fa piao ge zhe ne, wo bu ba xia. |
| [11:56.66] | liu xiao guang: sao zi, dang shi shi zen me hui shi ne. wo da ge ken ding shi zheng mi hu le, shang lou le. ta shang lou le ne, wo gen wo er zi an lia, yi kan ye mei sha yi si le, wo shuo zan lia hui gong di ba. kuai zou zhe shi guan bu liao |
| [12:13.86]赵本山：干啥去你，哎~干啥呀？[1] | |
| [12:18.20] | liu xiao guang: da ge ni zhe shi, wo bang bu liao ni a da ge a. |
| [12:23.31] | zhao ben shan: shen me wo bang bu liao ni? ni shuo ming bai mei ni jiu zou le? |
| [12:24.87] | liu xiao guang: wo zen me bang ni shuo ming bai a? |
| [12:25.58] | zhao ben shan: zen me di ni a? |
| [12:27.52] | liu xiao guang: da ge ni shuo ni zhe ren, ni xian zai zen me zhe yang ne? ren jia wu zong a xiang xin ni le, rang ni da wo lia xi zao qu, ni zen me gei hua chu zhe me duo qian ne? ni bu zao jian ren ne ma? |
| [12:35.95] | zhao ben shan: bu shi, wo hai xiang wen ni lia. zhe qian dao di za hua de? |
| [12:38.56] | liu xiao guang: ni wen shui? ni wen shui? ni shuo ni zhe |
| [12:42.48] | zhao ben shan: wo gao su ni lao si, ni yao lai nian zhe yang wo bu ling ni ye lia qu le. |
| [12:45.91] | liu xiao guang: an lia hai neng gen ni qu ma? |
| [12:48.88] | zhao ben shan: ni lia tong kuai gen wo shuo shi hua, jin nian zou zou ni sao zi zai ne, wo zhe chong deng shuo hua, wo yao cuo hua yi fen qian |
| [12:55.22] | liu xiao guang: cang tian zai shang, wo liu lao si mei cuo hua yi fen qian. |
| [12:59.53] | tian wa: wo liu lao wu chu le lao dian yu sheng xia sha ye mei gan. |
| [13:04.75] | zhao ben shan: ni gan sha le? a, qi lai. |
| [13:06.92] | liu xiao guang: qi lai, ni bu yong gei ta gui xia |
| [13:09.03] | zhao ben shan: ni gan sha wan yi le? |
| [13:10.15] | tian wa: lao lao yu a. |
| [13:12.68] | zhao ben shan: lao wen quan na li na yu le? |
| [13:15.25] | tian wa: dui, jiu ken tui na ge. |
| [13:17.52] | zhao ben shan: dui shang le, yao wo shuo ni zhe hai zi, ni zen me di? ni lao na yu you sha yong a ni a? |
| [13:34.63] | tian wa: wo mei xiang lao a, ni ge chi zi li yi chu lai, na yu jiu piao shang lai le. wo yi kan zhe shi ken wan ni tui, zhong du le, wo hai pa bie ren fa ni. wo hao xin, na ge su liao dai wo jiu dou hui lai le. |
| [13:39.40] | zhao ben shan: ni dou hui lai le na jia lai le, you yong ma? |
| [13:44.83] | tian wa: za mei yong. zha na yu jiang ni bu chi de ting xiang de ma. |
| [13:46.68]赵本山：那鱼酱是搁那啃腿那鱼咋的啊？[1] | |
| [13:48.11] | tian wa: a. |
| [13:58.86] | zhao ben shan: ai yo, wo de ma ya. dui shang le, na ge yu te bie gui, lao ban. na shi xun lian chu lai de, yi tiao de yi qian, shi tiao jiu yi wan. ni lao duo shao tiao? |
| [14:00.07] | tian wa: shi duo tiao ba. |
| [14:01.08] | zhao ben shan: na jiu dui shang le ma. |
| [14:05.68] | tian wa: mei na me gui ya, wo da ting le, yi bai kuai qian neng mai yi dui ne. |
| [14:23.17] | liu xiao guang: bie shuo hua xing ma? ni da ye fei duo da jin a, hao bu rong yi dui shang le. gan shen me ni!! |
| [14:28.37] | hai yan: xing le, wo dui ni you yi ge chong xin de ren shi. |
| [14:33.44] | zhao ben shan: ni bie, ni bie lao ban, ni bie ting ta xia shuo. wo jiu gao su ni zan men a bie zhe ge shi a, wo zhe ren pin ni ying gai zhi dao. rang ta ye lia zhe yi shuo ba wo shuo hu tu le, zan ye bie zhao ji bie shang huo, qian zan bu yao le, wo yi hou jin hou wo bu xi zhe ge zao le, wo yi nian dou bu xi hao bu hao? cong jin wang hou. |
| [14:45.06] | hai yan: xi qu! |
| [14:47.20] | zhao ben shan: shui ya? gan shen me wan yi? |
| [14:54.16][14:48.25] | tian wa: wo bu zhi dao. |
| [14:56.13] | liu xiao guang: da ge shi ni dian hua cai ling ba? |
| [14:58.55] | zhao ben shan: ? zhe shui a da de zhe, sheng hao a. |
| [15:03.65] | liu xiao guang: sheng hao da ge bu xing wo chu qu jie qu ba? |
| [15:06.24] | zhao ben shan: ni bie zheng shi er, lao ban, zan men en mian ti a. rang da huo ting zhe. shui a ni, xi shua xi shua de? dou bu rang xi le. |
| [15:16.00] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: lao zhao a, zhe da guo nian de. zhe me da pi qi ne? |
| [15:16.92] | zhao ben shan: ni shui a ni? |
| [15:20.67] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: wo wu zong. |
| [15:25.53] | zhao ben shan: ni wu zong... ya ai ya ai ya ya dui bu qi a, wu lao ban a, ni hao! |
| [15:30.32] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: lao zhao a, ni zhong jiang le zhi bu zhi dao? |
| [15:31.78]赵本山：我~我...不是中奖这事儿我知道了，现在吧回来说不清一个事，那天那消费啊我老伴搁这块~那什么我老伴跟你说啊...客气点...~客气点...[2] | |
| [15:42.03] | hai yan: wei, na ge wu zong a? |
| [15:46.45] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: ai, sao zi hao. |
| [15:47.27] | hai yan: ni hao a, xie xie ni a. dui wo men zhao gu ting hao de, ni da ge shuo le, hui lai ni hai dai ta qu xi zao qu ha, ni ting she de hua qian na? ling ta men san ge ren hua yi wan er. |
| [16:00.73] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: ya, sao zi ni wu hui le ba? wo qing liu shi ren, wo men gong di liu shi ge nong min gong, wo xun si guo nian le, qing ta men xi ge zao, gan gan jing jing hui jia. |
| [16:09.39] | zhao ben shan: wu lao ban, ni shuo xia duo shao ren? |
| [16:11.37] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: zan gong di liu shi ren dou qu le. |
| [16:13.02] | zhao ben shan: liu shi ren na? na zen me wo men zen me mei kan zhe ne? |
| [16:17.59] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: ni men fen pi qu de, ni shi zui hou yi pi. |
| [16:18.38] | zhao ben shan: ai ya ma ya, zhe che bu. liu shi ren, na zhe ge wo hui tou, shi bu shi ba piao zi gei ni na qu? zhe shi ni hua de qian a? |
| [16:25.71] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: lao zhao da ge, wo kan dian shi le, ni shi di er tian zou de, yao shi tou tian wan shang zou a? hai xing xu zhong bu shang zhe ge jiang. |
| [16:31.96] | zhao ben shan: dui! |
| [16:32.80] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: suo yi wo jue de ne zhe shi ni de xing yun, zhe ge qian a, ni men zi ji chu li ba! |
| [16:38.79] | zhao ben shan: ai ya hao a xie xie ni a, wu zong. ai ya wo de ma ya, wu zong a! ai ya wo di ma ya. |
| [16:39.69] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: ji de a |
| [16:40.21] | zhao ben shan: a? |
| [16:40.77] | dian hua zhong wu jing li: hui lai qian ba na ge fa piao gei wo dai hui lai. |
| [16:42.51] | zhao ben shan: xie xie ni a, zui hou ne. wo men ji ge gei ni bai ge nian a, zhu ni zai xin de yi nian li, shi ye teng fei, peng bo fa zhan. ke neng liao le... ai ya ma ya, liu shi ren, liu shi ren a! zhe jia huo ba wo zhe teng de, yi ren he er bai, er liu yi wan er. |
| [17:05.39] | hai yan: lao ban. |
| [17:06.10] | zhao ben shan: gan sha? |
| [17:07.26] | hai yan: guo lai. |
| [17:07.96] | zhao ben shan: gan sha ya? |
| [17:09.34]海燕：送你三个字~~~对不起~~~是我错了。[2] | |
| [17:14.46] | zhao ben shan: hai cuo le, ni yi hou bie zheng.... ni hai ge zhe chou sha a, bu hui jia? |
| [17:17.81] | hai yan: wo bu shi pa ni zou shi jian zhang le xue huai le ma. |
| [17:23.22] | tian wa: gan sha qu? |
| [17:24.17] | liu xiao guang:.... hui hui jia... |
| [17:25.63] | tian wa: ni mei ting jian fa piao zhong jiang le ma? zan ji ge yi kuai xi de. |
| [17:35.90] | liu xiao guang: dui dui. wo shuo na ge da ge ni xian ting yi xia. na ge zan men ba zhong jiang de qian zhua jin shi jian fen yi xia zi? |
| [17:39.12] | zhao ben shan: zhong jiang gen ni lia mei guan xi a? |
| [17:41.54] | liu xiao guang: za mei guan xi ne? zhe bu zan san ge xi zao zhong de jiang ma? |
| [17:44.82] | zhao ben shan: zan san ge xi zao bu jia, na shi tou tian wan shang, ni men bu dang tian wan shang zou le ma? wan wo shang lou shui zhao le ma. zao shang qi lai fu wu yuan jiu gao su wo shuo jie zhang, wan wo shuo wo men lao ban hua qian, ta shuo, ni duo he yi ping kuang quan shui, ni de tao qi kuai qian, wan le ne, jiu ba fa piao gei wo le, na qi kuai qian jiu zhe me zhong de jiang. |
| [18:02.96][18:00.09] | liu xiao guang: zhe qi kuai qian ke yi gei ni, wo shuo ba zhong jiang na qian zan men fen yi xia zi. |
| [18:04.83] | zhao ben shan: ni za zhe yang ne? lao si ni hai yao qiang qian za di? wu zong za shuo de? wu zong shuo zhe qian shi wo de xing yun, rang wo zi ji chu li. |
| [18:16.24] | tian wa: bu dui! wu zong shi zhe me shuo de, shuo: ni men zi ji chu li ba, ni shi ni, bu hai you men ne ma? |
| [18:25.54] | liu xiao guang: na men bu jiu wo lia ma? |
| [18:28.60] | hai yan: xing le, lao ban. wo ting ming bai le, ren jia lao si shuo de dui, bu guang ni men zhe san shan men, hai you wu shi qi shan men ne. liu shi shan men, liu shi ge jia ting, ping jun fen le. yi ren yi wan, rang da huo dou guo ge hao nian, xian zai zheng fu de zheng ce ye hao le, zan men nong min ye fu qi lai le. lao ban a, qian bu shi wen ti, qian na wan yi bu shi zui zhong yao de, gan qing shi zui zhong yao de. ji xu... |
| [18:59.79] | zhao ben shan: xing a, fen le ta. |
| [19:01.91] | liu xiao guang: , wu wu wu wu |
| [19:05.60] | tian wa: bu shi, ni gan sha ya? |
| [19:07.14] | zhao ben shan: gan sha ne? |
| [19:07.88] | liu xiao guang: wo xiang ni ma le! |
| [00:01.00] | biǎo yǎn zhě: zhào běn shān liú xiǎo guāng tián wá zhào hǎi yàn |
| [00:05.13] | nián fèn: 2013 |
| [00:08.06] | zhào běn shān: lǎo bàn a, wǒ huí lái la! |
| [00:11.72] | hǎi yàn: lǎo tóu zi, nǐ kě huí lái le, nǐ tǐng hǎo de bei. |
| [00:18.87] | zhào běn shān: tǐng hǎo de, tǐng hǎo de. |
| [00:21.29] | hǎi yàn: lǎo bàn a, wǒ bào gào nǐ gè hǎo xiāo xī, yǒu xǐ le! |
| [00:25.24] | zhào běn shān: shén me? |
| [00:28.65] | hǎi yàn: yǒu.. xǐ... le! |
| [00:30.06] | zhào běn shān: bié nào le, nǐ dōu wǔ shí le hái yǒu shén me xǐ. |
| [00:34.60] | hǎi yàn: bú shì wǒ yǒu xǐ le, shì nǐ yǒu xǐ le. sǐ lǎo tóu zi, nǐ zhòng jiǎng le. |
| [00:41.28] | zhào běn shān: wǒ? |
| [00:42.57] | hǎi yàn: liù shí wàn nà. |
| [00:45.65] | zhào běn shān: nǐ fā shāo le ba? wǒ zhōng shà jiǎng a? |
| [00:50.30] | hǎi yàn: wǒ fā shén me shāo a, nà tiě lǐng diàn shì tái gǔn dòng bō chū, nǐ gē nà gǔn bàn xià wǔ le. yǒu yí gè jiān kòng lù xiàng pāi xià lái de. jiù nǐ zài yí gè cháng tiáo zhuō zi qián miàn. wán le, gěi qián, dì nǐ gè piào. jiù nà fā piào zhòng jiǎng le. |
| [01:07.21] | zhào běn shān: zhè shà qián de shì a? wǒ zěn me bù zhī dào ne? nǎ fā piào a? |
| [01:10.65] | hǎi yàn: bú shì, wǒ dōu yǎn kàn nǐ chuāi dà yī kuà dōu r le. fā piào ne? |
| [01:13.62] | zhào běn shān: áng? |
| [01:18.93] | hǎi yàn: āi yā mā ya, zhè bù jiù shì ma! hā yā, fā piào hào wǒ dōu jì shǒu shàng le. wǒ duì duì a, āi yā, yī mō yí yàng de. lǎo bàn a, liù shí wàn nà. liù shí wàn! |
| [01:35.02] | zhào běn shān: zhēn de jiǎ de? shàng nǎ lǐng qù? |
| [01:37.55] | hǎi yàn: kàn... zhè shàng biān bù yǒu dì zhǐ ma. hóng làng màn xiū xián xǐ yù sāng ná zhōng xīn, xiāo fèi jīn é, yī wàn liǎng qiān líng... qī kuài qián. nǐ xǐ zǎo qù le a? |
| [01:56.76] | zhào běn shān: xǐ zǎo le, hēi hēi zǒu a, nà lǐng qù a |
| [02:01.21]海燕：先别着急领，那咋花那么多钱呢？[1] | |
| [02:04.53] | zhào běn shān: bú shì wǒ huā de, shì wǒ men nà gè lǎo zǒng, guò nián le, qǐng wǒ xǐ de zǎo. nǐ kàn wǒ de qián ná huí lái le. shí yuè yī zǒu de, zhè bù yī wàn bā ma, zhè dōu gěi nǐ. āi yā mā ya, zhōng zhèi xiē ne? |
| [02:17.18] | hǎi yàn: bú shì, nǐ xǐ méi xǐ ba? |
| [02:19.48] | zhào běn shān: wǒ xǐ la. |
| [02:20.68] | hǎi yàn: nà zǎ huā nà me duō qián ne? |
| [02:23.02] | zhào běn shān: nǐ guǎn huā duō shǎo qián gàn shà a, nǐ kàn zhe zhōng de bǐ nà huā de duō duō le. nǐ hái... |
| [02:27.44] | hǎi yàn: bú shì, rén jiā qǐng kè, rén jiā qǐng kè, nǐ yě bù néng shí jì huò huò a? |
| [02:31.56] | zhào běn shān: bú shì, nǐ huái yí wǒ a? |
| [02:33.99] | hǎi yàn: wǒ dào bù huái yí nǐ, zán liǎ guò zhèi xiē nián le, wǒ hái bù liǎo jiě nǐ ya! guān jiàn nǐ shuō zán liǎ qù lǐng jiǎng qù, rén jiā jì zhě wàn yī yào shì wèn nǐ, dà yé nǐ zǎ dé de jiǎng a? wǒ shuō wǒ xǐ zǎo qù le, wǒ huā yī wàn èr, wán le wǒ zhōng liù shí wàn. nǐ xǐ zǎo huā nà me duō qián? |
| [02:53.64] | zhào běn shān: zhè qián hái zhēn bù hǎo lǐng le ne, nà zán bú yào le zǎ de? |
| [02:56.39] | hǎi yàn: bú yào yě bù xíng a! nà diàn shì shàng nǐ gē nà gǔn ne! |
| [03:01.74] | zhào běn shān: āi yā, wǒ xiǎng qǐ lái le. sā rén, hái yǒu zán tún liú lǎo sì, hái yǒu tā ér zi liú lǎo wǔ. |
| [03:04.79] | hǎi yàn: sā rén xǐ yī wàn èr, yī rén sì qiān. |
| [03:11.60] | zhào běn shān: nà yě duō hā? |
| [03:13.06] | hǎi yàn: tā liǎ huí lái méi? |
| [03:13.89] | zhào běn shān: huí lái le, gēn wǒ yì qǐ huí lái de. |
| [03:14.92] | hǎi yàn: gǎn jǐn gěi tā jiào guò lái ma, duì yī duì |
| [03:15.96] | zhào běn shān: wǒ gěi tā dǎ gè diàn huà, què shí zhè gè shì shì gè shì ér. dǎ diàn huà zhōng: lǎo sì a, nǐ dào jiā méi? nǐ bié jìn wū le, nǐ hé nǐ ér zi lǎo wǔ nǐ liǎ lái, a, nà gè shén me, nǐ sǎo zi shuō yǒu gè shì duì bù shàng le, gǎn jǐn guò lái ba. |
| [03:35.06] | hǎi yàn: dāng qián duì. |
| [03:35.96] | zhào běn shān: dāng miàn duì, nǐ kuài diǎn de. nǐ dào zhè lái nǐ jiù rú shí shuō ba. kuài diǎn! |
| [03:43.23] | liú xiǎo guāng dēng chǎng: kuài zǒu a, kuài zǒu! |
| [03:45.01] | tián wá dēng chǎng: diē a, zǎ de le? |
| [03:48.64] | liú xiǎo guāng: nà shén me, nǐ dà yé ràng guò qù yī tàng ne. |
| [03:51.37] | tián wá: zhè hái méi dào jiā ne, shà shì zhè me jí a? |
| [03:53.56] | liú xiǎo guāng: nǐ dà yé dǎ diàn huà tǐng jí de. shuō shuō shì yǒu gè shì duì bù shàng le. ér zi, nǐ dào nà qiān wàn shǎo shuō huà, tīng jiàn méi? nǐ dà niáng nà xìng gé, wǒ chǒu zhe dōu de sè. |
| [04:02.81] | tián wá: nà wǒ bù qù le. |
| [04:04.44] | liú xiǎo guāng: nǐ bù qù xíng ma? zán sān ge de shì ér. |
| [04:07.09] | tián wá: nà tā yào wèn wǒ zǎ zhěng a? |
| [04:09.55] | liú xiǎo guāng: wèn nǐ jiù shuō bù zhī dào! sǎo zi? |
| [04:12.56] | hǎi yàn: lǎo sì lái le? zuò ba! |
| [04:16.95] | zhào běn shān: zhàn qǐ lái! nǐ liǎ néng ràng wǒ shěng diǎn xīn bù? gàn shà a?... |
| [04:24.03] | hǎi yàn: guò qù... zuò ba, lǎo sì. |
| [04:38.83] | liú xiǎo guāng: gěi nǐ dà niáng bài nián nà? |
| [04:40.46] | tián wá: dà niáng, wǎn shàng hǎo! |
| [04:43.52] | liú xiǎo guāng: guò.. guò nián |
| [04:44.88] | zhào běn shān: méi shì a. |
| [04:46.72] | hǎi yàn: lǎo sì a? zài wài biān tǐng shùn lì de? |
| [04:56.60] | liú xiǎo guāng: ér zi zán shùn lì bù? |
| [05:00.02] | tián wá: wǒ, wǒ yě bù zhī dào a. |
| [05:02.86] | zhào běn shān: shùn lì bù shùn lì, zǎ bù shùn lì a? |
| [05:07.89] | liú xiǎo guāng, tián wá: shùn lì! |
| [05:12.02] | hǎi yàn: ná huí lái duō shǎo qián a? |
| [05:15.31] | liú xiǎo guāng: dà gē wǒ yīng gāi ná huí lái duō shǎo qián? |
| [05:18.96] | zhào běn shān: nǐ ná huí duō shǎo qián shì nǐ de, wǒ qián dōu jiāo le, zán liǎ yī biān duō. |
| [05:23.15] | hǎi yàn: huà duō... |
| [05:24.98] | liú xiǎo guāng: sǎo zi, wǒ gēn wǒ dà gē ǎn liǎ yī biān duō. |
| [05:28.40] | hǎi yàn: yī biān duō bù yě yǒu gè shù ma? nǐ ná huí lái duō shǎo qián? |
| [05:30.70] | liú xiǎo guāng: nǐ cāi? |
| [05:34.64] | zhào běn shān: nǐ gàn shà wán yì? nǐ ràng rén cāi shà a? nǐ jiù shuō duō shǎo, āi yā mā ya. méi shì yě ràng nǐ zhěng chū shì le. |
| [05:41.67] | hǎi yàn: huà tài duō... |
| [05:44.59] | liú xiǎo guāng: ér zi, wǒ ná huí lái duō shǎo qián? |
| [05:48.69] | tián wá: bù zhī dào a! |
| [05:50.31] | liú xiǎo guāng: nà yào bù gē nǐ mā nà ér ne? |
| [05:53.22] | tián wá: nǐ bié xià hu wǒ, wǒ mā bù sǐ le ma? |
| [05:58.90] | zhào běn shān: nǐ gàn shà wán yì? tā mā dōu sǐ èr shí nián le! nǐ sǎo zi yě zhī dào. nǐ sā zhè huāng gàn shà a? jiù shuō bei, bú shì zhè gè shì. |
| [06:08.10]刘小光：哦，那我拿回来三万。[1] | |
| [06:12.12] | hǎi yàn: duì shàng le. |
| [06:14.91] | zhào běn shān: āi? nǐ jiā bān le? |
| [06:18.00] | liú xiǎo guāng: dà gē, nǐ qián diū le? |
| [06:21.98] | zhào běn shān: shén me wǒ qián diū le, nǐ zěn me néng ná huí sān wàn le ne? nǐ cún le ma? nǐ qián ne? |
| [06:24.46] | liú xiǎo guāng: wǒ qián, wǒ wǒ bù hái méi cún ne ma, zhè bù sān luò ma! zhè zhè bù zài zhè gē zhe ne ma. |
| [06:29.51] | tián wá: diē, nà wǒ nà qián ne? |
| [06:34.77] | liú xiǎo guāng: zhè bù zài zhè ne ma, zhè zhè shì. |
| [06:36.95] | zhào běn shān: nà bù nǐ liǎ de ma, nǐ liǎ jiā zài yì qǐ sān wàn ma |
| [06:37.82] | tián wá: áng a. |
| [06:38.59] | liú xiǎo guāng: duì a. |
| [06:41.28] | zhào běn shān: nǐ duō shǎo? |
| [06:41.84] | tián wá: yī wàn èr. |
| [06:42.80] | zhào běn shān: nǐ ne? |
| [06:43.13] | liú xiǎo guāng: wǒ yī wàn bā. |
| [06:44.17] | zhào běn shān: zhè bú duì shàng le ma? |
| [06:44.59] | liú xiǎo guāng: duì shàng nà wǒ huí qù le. āi yā, gěi wǒ zhěng yī shēn hàn a. |
| [06:49.10] | zhào běn shān: bié a, méi yǒu méi duì zhèng shì ne. zuò nà ér! nǐ jiù zhí jiē wèn tā dé le. jiù xǐ zǎo nà shì ér. |
| [06:58.25] | hǎi yàn: lǎo sì, nǐ men xǐ zǎo qù le. |
| [07:04.23] | liú xiǎo guāng: nǎ cì a? |
| [07:06.66] | zhào běn shān: zán yī gòng xǐ duō shǎo cì a, hái zi. |
| [07:09.09] | tián wá: zán bù zǒng xǐ ma. |
| [07:12.74] | zhào běn shān: zǒng xǐ nà shì dà zhòng yù chí. zán zuì hòu, zán men qián bàn gè yuè, wú zǒng qǐng zán men nà cì, xǐ zuì hěn nà cì. |
| [07:20.12]田娃：啊~那次，红浪漫吧。[1] | |
| [07:23.08] | hǎi yàn: duì, hóng làng màn, duì |
| [07:26.97] | liú xiǎo guāng: a, nà jiù wú lǎo bǎn qǐng nà huí a. |
| [07:28.27] | zhào běn shān: duì a! |
| [07:29.03] | liú xiǎo guāng: āi yā, nà huì xǐ de nà gè, wú lǎo bǎn zhēn méi ná wǒ men dāng wài rén a, wú... dà gē zhè gè ràng shuō bù? |
| [07:37.37] | zhào běn shān: shuō bei, nǐ jiù shì kuài shuō bié zhěng shì. |
| [07:40.69] | tián wá: áng a, nǐ ràng shuō wǒ shuō ba. wǒ diē shuō bù míng bái. dà niáng a, hóng làng màn, tài hǎo le. xiàn zài zuò mèng hái xiǎng ne, nà dì fāng jiù bù shuō bèi de. nà bǎo ān, tài xiāo sǎ le, wǒ jiù xiǎng dāng bǎo ān. wú zǒng lā zhe wǒ men gē dà mén gāng yī jìn lái, nǐ kàn nà bǎo ān jìng lǐ!!! lái yuàn lǐ yǒu chē wèi, lái gēn wǒ lái, yòu dǎ duò... dào dào dào guāng! hǎo lei! zài wǎng qián shàng wú zǒng nà gè... |
| [08:14.81] | liú xiǎo guāng: nǐ zuò xià zuò xià... xià gū lù wǒ xué a, nǐ tīng wǒ shuō, sǎo zi, nǐ zhēn yīng gāi ràng wǒ dà gē, lǐng nǐ chū qù jiàn shí jiàn shí. jiù wǒ zhǎng zhè yàng, nà yù chí mén a, dōu lǎo zūn zhòng wǒ le, wǒ wǎng nà yī zhàn, nà yù chí nà mèn zì dòng... chuā jiù kāi le. dāng shí wǒ dà gē shuō, bié dòng diàn tī, wǒ jiù mǎi jìn qù le, ǎn men zài lǐ děng yǒu wǔ fēn zhōng, yě méi wǎng shàng shēng a, wǒ huí tóu yī chǒu, zhè dǔ yī duī rén le, wǒ jiù tīng yǒu rén chāo chao, zhuā jǐn shí jiān wǎng lǐ zǒu, zài nà zhàn zhe gàn shà ne? yī huì ér shàng lóu kāi huì! |
| [08:51.66] | tián wá: bú duì nǐ hǎn nà bú duì, diē rén jiā zhè me hǎn de: xiān shēng wǎn shàng hǎo, huān yíng guāng lín hóng làng màn, tuō xié shǒu pái ná hǎo lóu shàng qǐng, nán bīn sān wèi! |
| [09:02.14] | liú xiǎo guāng: zhè zhè hē hē ā hā hā duì, duì duì |
| [09:04.32] | zhào běn shān: duì, jiù zhè gè shì ér. |
| [09:08.56] | liú xiǎo guāng: zhè hái zi yī chǒu nǐ jiù dāng bǎo ān de cái liào, bà wǒ huā diǎn qián wǒ yě ràng nǐ qù. |
| [09:15.73] | hǎi yàn: xǐ wán le? |
| [09:19.36] | liú xiǎo guāng: méi xǐ ne. |
| [09:24.32] | hǎi yàn: nǐ jiù shuō zǎ xǐ de? |
| [09:26.85] | liú xiǎo guāng: a, nà xǐ nà lǐ tou. sǎo zi, nà kě zhēn tài hǎo le, jiù shì nǐ yī jìn nà wū a, nà wù qì zhāo zhāo de, jiù xiàng wáng mǔ niáng niáng pán táo huì shì de. dāng shí wǒ zǐ xì yī kàn, dǐ xià yǒu gè dà chí zi, wǒ dà gē nà dǒng a, wǒ dà gē shuō: xiān bié dòng a, bié shuō dào shí hòu ràng rén jiā xiào huà, wǒ xiān jìn qù gěi nǐ men dǎ gè yàng. wǒ dà gē jiù shǎng qù le, shǎng qù le zhè gè, ó ā é ō āi yō... wū... |
| [10:10.75] | zhào běn shān: yàng ba. |
| [10:20.34] | liú xiǎo guāng: wǒ dà gē jiù zuò lǐ le ma, zuò lǐ le, zhè gōng fū jiù xiǎo yú a. jiù guò lái qīn wǒ dà gē tuǐ, dāng shí gěi wǒ dà gē qīn de. āi yō, mā ya āi yō āi yā... āi yō yō ya... bù xíng a, zhè shén me wán yì a? āi yā ya āi yā!!! |
| [10:33.69]海燕：停！小芸是谁？[1] | |
| [10:41.24] | zhào běn shān: shì xiǎo yú! |
| [10:43.95] | hǎi yàn: duō dà suì shù le? |
| [10:46.27] | zhào běn shān: wǒ méi wèn a. |
| [10:48.87] | hǎi yàn: pēi yào bú yào nǐ nà lǎo liǎn le? bù wèn duō dà suì shù jiù qīn le? |
| [10:53.79] | zhào běn shān: bú shì, nǐ tǐng shà ne? xiǎo yú, bú shì xiǎo yún. shì chī nà yú! xiàn zài yú chī rén le, xiǎo yú wēn quán, dōu nà me dà, kěn tuǐ. nǐ zǎ shuō de a? nǐ gēn nǐ dà niáng shuō. |
| [11:09.07] | hǎi yàn: wǒ bù lè yì tīng nǐ shuō. hái zi, nǐ shí huì nǐ shuō. |
| [11:13.80] | tián wá: shì, shì yú. yóu nà gè yú |
| [11:15.36] | zhào běn shān: nǐ kàn, yú! |
| [11:17.34] | hǎi yàn: yú? |
| [11:17.84] | tián wá: nà jiào xiǎo yú wēn quán ma |
| [11:19.15] | hǎi yàn: kěn tuǐ? |
| [11:20.16] | tián wá: a. kě yǎng yǎng le. |
| [11:22.05] | hǎi yàn: wán le ne? |
| [11:23.34] | tián wá: wán le wǒ, bù zhī dào le. |
| [11:28.17] | liú xiǎo guāng: nǐ zěn me néng bù zhī dào, wán le nǐ dà yé xuè yā bù shàng le lái le ma? wán tā jiù shàng lóu le, wán wǒ liǎ jiù huí gōng dì le ma. |
| [11:33.20] | tián wá: duì. |
| [11:34.79] | hǎi yàn: nǐ liǎ huí gōng dì le? |
| [11:36.05] | liú xiǎo guāng: a! |
| [11:37.37] | hǎi yàn: nǐ shàng lóu le! |
| [11:39.22] | zhào běn shān: a! |
| [11:40.86] | hǎi yàn: huā yī wàn èr. |
| [11:43.01] | liú xiǎo guāng: huā duō shǎo? |
| [11:45.70] | hǎi yàn: lǎo sì, sǎo zi bù pà nǐ xiào huà le, nǐ dà gē shàng lóu le, huā yī wàn èr. zhè fā piào gē zhe ne, wǒ bù bā xiā. |
| [11:56.66] | liú xiǎo guāng: sǎo zi, dāng shí shì zěn me huí shì ne. wǒ dà gē kěn dìng shì zhēng mí hu le, shàng lóu le. tā shàng lóu le ne, wǒ gēn wǒ ér zi ǎn liǎ, yī kàn yě méi shà yì sī le, wǒ shuō zán liǎ huí gōng dì ba. kuài zǒu zhè shì guǎn bù liǎo |
| [12:13.86]赵本山：干啥去你，哎~干啥呀？[1] | |
| [12:18.20] | liú xiǎo guāng: dà gē nǐ zhè shì, wǒ bāng bù liǎo nǐ a dà gē a. |
| [12:23.31] | zhào běn shān: shén me wǒ bāng bù liǎo nǐ? nǐ shuō míng bái méi nǐ jiù zǒu le? |
| [12:24.87] | liú xiǎo guāng: wǒ zěn me bāng nǐ shuō míng bái a? |
| [12:25.58] | zhào běn shān: zěn me dì nǐ a? |
| [12:27.52] | liú xiǎo guāng: dà gē nǐ shuō nǐ zhè rén, nǐ xiàn zài zěn me zhè yàng ne? rén jiā wú zǒng a xiāng xìn nǐ le, ràng nǐ dǎ wǒ liǎ xǐ zǎo qù, nǐ zěn me gěi huā chū zhè me duō qián ne? nǐ bù zāo jiàn rén ne ma? |
| [12:35.95] | zhào běn shān: bú shì, wǒ hái xiǎng wèn nǐ liǎ. zhè qián dào dǐ zǎ huā de? |
| [12:38.56] | liú xiǎo guāng: nǐ wèn shuí? nǐ wèn shuí? nǐ shuō nǐ zhè |
| [12:42.48] | zhào běn shān: wǒ gào sù nǐ lǎo sì, nǐ yào lái nián zhè yàng wǒ bù lǐng nǐ yé liǎ qù le. |
| [12:45.91] | liú xiǎo guāng: ǎn liǎ hái néng gēn nǐ qù ma? |
| [12:48.88] | zhào běn shān: nǐ liǎ tòng kuài gēn wǒ shuō shí huà, jīn nián zōu zōu nǐ sǎo zi zài ne, wǒ zhè chōng dēng shuō huà, wǒ yào cuò huā yī fēn qián |
| [12:55.22] | liú xiǎo guāng: cāng tiān zài shàng, wǒ liú lǎo sì méi cuò huā yī fēn qián. |
| [12:59.53] | tián wá: wǒ liú lǎo wǔ chú le lāo diǎn yú shèng xià shà yě méi gàn. |
| [13:04.75] | zhào běn shān: nǐ gàn shà le? a, qǐ lái. |
| [13:06.92] | liú xiǎo guāng: qǐ lái, nǐ bù yòng gěi tā guì xià |
| [13:09.03] | zhào běn shān: nǐ gàn shà wán yì le? |
| [13:10.15] | tián wá: lāo lāo yú a. |
| [13:12.68] | zhào běn shān: lāo wēn quán nà lǐ nà yú le? |
| [13:15.25] | tián wá: duì, jiù kěn tuǐ nà gè. |
| [13:17.52] | zhào běn shān: duì shàng le, yào wǒ shuō nǐ zhè hái zi, nǐ zěn me dì? nǐ lāo nà yú yǒu shà yòng a nǐ a? |
| [13:34.63] | tián wá: wǒ méi xiǎng lāo a, nǐ gē chí zi lǐ yī chū lái, nà yú jiù piāo shàng lái le. wǒ yī kàn zhè shì kěn wán nǐ tuǐ, zhòng dú le, wǒ hái pà bié rén fá nǐ. wǒ hǎo xīn, ná gè sù liào dài wǒ jiù dōu huí lái le. |
| [13:39.40] | zhào běn shān: nǐ dōu huí lái le ná jiā lái le, yǒu yòng ma? |
| [13:44.83] | tián wá: zǎ méi yòng. zhà nà yú jiàng nǐ bù chī dé tǐng xiāng de ma. |
| [13:46.68]赵本山：那鱼酱是搁那啃腿那鱼咋的啊？[1] | |
| [13:48.11] | tián wá: a. |
| [13:58.86] | zhào běn shān: āi yō, wǒ de mā ya. duì shàng le, nà gè yú tè bié guì, lǎo bàn. nà shi xùn liàn chū lái de, yī tiáo dé yī qiān, shí tiáo jiù yī wàn. nǐ lāo duō shǎo tiáo? |
| [14:00.07] | tián wá: shí duō tiáo ba. |
| [14:01.08] | zhào běn shān: nà jiù duì shàng le ma. |
| [14:05.68] | tián wá: méi nà me guì ya, wǒ dǎ tīng le, yī bǎi kuài qián néng mǎi yī duī ne. |
| [14:23.17] | liú xiǎo guāng: bié shuō huà xíng ma? nǐ dà yé fèi duō dà jìn a, hǎo bù róng yì duì shàng le. gàn shén me nǐ!! |
| [14:28.37] | hǎi yàn: xíng le, wǒ duì nǐ yǒu yí gè chóng xīn de rèn shi. |
| [14:33.44] | zhào běn shān: nǐ bié, nǐ bié lǎo bàn, nǐ bié tīng tā xiā shuō. wǒ jiù gào sù nǐ zán men a bié zhè gè shì a, wǒ zhè rén pǐn nǐ yīng gāi zhī dào. ràng tā yé liǎ zhè yī shuō bǎ wǒ shuō hú tú le, zán yě bié zháo jí bié shàng huǒ, qián zán bú yào le, wǒ yǐ hòu jīn hòu wǒ bù xǐ zhè gè zǎo le, wǒ yī nián dōu bù xǐ hǎo bù hǎo? cóng jīn wǎng hòu. |
| [14:45.06] | hǎi yàn: xǐ qù! |
| [14:47.20] | zhào běn shān: shuí ya? gàn shén me wán yì? |
| [14:54.16][14:48.25] | tián wá: wǒ bù zhī dào. |
| [14:56.13] | liú xiǎo guāng: dà gē shì nǐ diàn huà cǎi líng ba? |
| [14:58.55] | zhào běn shān: ? zhè shuí a dǎ de zhè, shēng hào a. |
| [15:03.65] | liú xiǎo guāng: shēng hào dà gē bù xíng wǒ chū qù jiē qù ba? |
| [15:06.24] | zhào běn shān: nǐ bié zhěng shì ér, lǎo bàn, zán men èn miǎn tí a. ràng dà huǒ tīng zhe. shuí a nǐ, xǐ shuā xǐ shuā de? dōu bù ràng xǐ le. |
| [15:16.00] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: lǎo zhào a, zhè dà guò nián de. zhè me dà pí qì ne? |
| [15:16.92] | zhào běn shān: nǐ shuí a nǐ? |
| [15:20.67] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: wǒ wú zǒng. |
| [15:25.53] | zhào běn shān: nǐ wú zǒng... ya āi yā āi yā ya duì bù qǐ a, wú lǎo bǎn a, nǐ hǎo! |
| [15:30.32] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: lǎo zhào a, nǐ zhòng jiǎng le zhī bù zhī dào? |
| [15:31.78]赵本山：我~我...不是中奖这事儿我知道了，现在吧回来说不清一个事，那天那消费啊我老伴搁这块~那什么我老伴跟你说啊...客气点...~客气点...[2] | |
| [15:42.03] | hǎi yàn: wèi, nà gè wú zǒng a? |
| [15:46.45] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: āi, sǎo zi hǎo. |
| [15:47.27] | hǎi yàn: nǐ hǎo a, xiè xiè nǐ a. duì wǒ men zhào gù tǐng hǎo de, nǐ dà gē shuō le, huí lái nǐ hái dài tā qù xǐ zǎo qù hā, nǐ tǐng shè de huā qián nà? lǐng tā men sān ge rén huā yī wàn èr. |
| [16:00.73] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: ya, sǎo zi nǐ wù huì le ba? wǒ qǐng liù shí rén, wǒ men gōng dì liù shí gè nóng mín gōng, wǒ xún sī guò nián le, qǐng tā men xǐ gè zǎo, gàn gān jìng jìng huí jiā. |
| [16:09.39] | zhào běn shān: wú lǎo bǎn, nǐ shuō xià duō shǎo rén? |
| [16:11.37] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: zán gōng dì liù shí rén dōu qù le. |
| [16:13.02] | zhào běn shān: liù shí rén nà? nà zěn me wǒ men zěn me méi kàn zhe ne? |
| [16:17.59] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: nǐ men fēn pī qù de, nǐ shì zuì hòu yī pī. |
| [16:18.38] | zhào běn shān: āi yā mā ya, zhè chě bù. liù shí rén, nà zhè gè wǒ huí tóu, shì bú shì bǎ piào zi gěi nǐ ná qù? zhè shì nǐ huā de qián a? |
| [16:25.71] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: lǎo zhào dà gē, wǒ kàn diàn shì le, nǐ shì dì èr tiān zǒu de, yào shì tóu tiān wǎn shàng zǒu a? hái xīng xǔ zhōng bù shàng zhè gè jiǎng. |
| [16:31.96] | zhào běn shān: duì! |
| [16:32.80] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: suǒ yǐ wǒ jué de ne zhè shì nǐ de xìng yùn, zhè gè qián a, nǐ men zì jǐ chǔ lǐ ba! |
| [16:38.79] | zhào běn shān: āi yā hǎo a xiè xiè nǐ a, wú zǒng. āi yā wǒ de mā ya, wú zǒng a! āi yā wǒ dì mā ya. |
| [16:39.69] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: jì de a |
| [16:40.21] | zhào běn shān: a? |
| [16:40.77] | diàn huà zhōng wú jīng lǐ: huí lái qián bǎ nà gè fā piào gěi wǒ dài huí lái. |
| [16:42.51] | zhào běn shān: xiè xiè nǐ a, zuì hòu ne. wǒ men jǐ gè gěi nǐ bài gè nián a, zhù nǐ zài xīn de yī nián lǐ, shì yè téng fēi, péng bó fā zhǎn. kě néng liào le... āi yā mā ya, liù shí rén, liù shí rén a! zhè jiā huo bǎ wǒ zhē téng de, yī rén hé èr bǎi, èr liù yī wàn èr. |
| [17:05.39] | hǎi yàn: lǎo bàn. |
| [17:06.10] | zhào běn shān: gàn shà? |
| [17:07.26] | hǎi yàn: guò lái. |
| [17:07.96] | zhào běn shān: gàn shà ya? |
| [17:09.34]海燕：送你三个字~~~对不起~~~是我错了。[2] | |
| [17:14.46] | zhào běn shān: hái cuò le, nǐ yǐ hòu bié zhěng.... nǐ hái gē zhe chǒu shà a, bù huí jiā? |
| [17:17.81] | hǎi yàn: wǒ bú shì pà nǐ zǒu shí jiān zhǎng le xué huài le ma. |
| [17:23.22] | tián wá: gàn shà qù? |
| [17:24.17] | liú xiǎo guāng:.... huí huí jiā... |
| [17:25.63] | tián wá: nǐ méi tīng jiàn fā piào zhòng jiǎng le ma? zán jǐ gè yí kuài xǐ de. |
| [17:35.90] | liú xiǎo guāng: duì duì. wǒ shuō nà gè dà gē nǐ xiān tíng yī xià. nà gè zán men bǎ zhòng jiǎng de qián zhuā jǐn shí jiān fēn yī xià zǐ? |
| [17:39.12] | zhào běn shān: zhòng jiǎng gēn nǐ liǎ méi guān xì a? |
| [17:41.54] | liú xiǎo guāng: zǎ méi guān xì ne? zhè bù zán sān ge xǐ zǎo zhōng de jiǎng ma? |
| [17:44.82] | zhào běn shān: zán sān ge xǐ zǎo bù jiǎ, nà shi tóu tiān wǎn shàng, nǐ men bù dàng tiān wǎn shàng zǒu le ma? wán wǒ shàng lóu shuì zháo le ma. zǎo shàng qǐ lái fú wù yuán jiù gào sù wǒ shuō jié zhàng, wán wǒ shuō wǒ men lǎo bǎn huā qián, tā shuō, nǐ duō hē yī píng kuàng quán shuǐ, nǐ dé tāo qī kuài qián, wán le ne, jiù bǎ fā piào gěi wǒ le, nà qī kuài qián jiù zhè me zhōng de jiǎng. |
| [18:02.96][18:00.09] | liú xiǎo guāng: zhè qī kuài qián kě yǐ gěi nǐ, wǒ shuō bǎ zhòng jiǎng nà qián zán men fēn yī xià zǐ. |
| [18:04.83] | zhào běn shān: nǐ zǎ zhè yàng ne? lǎo sì nǐ hái yào qiǎng qián zǎ dì? wú zǒng zǎ shuō de? wú zǒng shuō zhè qián shì wǒ de xìng yùn, ràng wǒ zì jǐ chǔ lǐ. |
| [18:16.24] | tián wá: bú duì! wú zǒng shì zhè me shuō de, shuō: nǐ men zì jǐ chǔ lǐ ba, nǐ shì nǐ, bù hái yǒu men ne ma? |
| [18:25.54] | liú xiǎo guāng: nà men bù jiù wǒ liǎ ma? |
| [18:28.60] | hǎi yàn: xíng le, lǎo bàn. wǒ tīng míng bái le, rén jiā lǎo sì shuō de duì, bù guāng nǐ men zhè sān shàn men, hái yǒu wǔ shí qī shàn men ne. liù shí shàn men, liù shí gè jiā tíng, píng jūn fēn le. yī rén yī wàn, ràng dà huǒ dōu guò gè hǎo nián, xiàn zài zhèng fǔ de zhèng cè yě hǎo le, zán men nóng mín yě fù qǐ lái le. lǎo bàn a, qián bú shì wèn tí, qián ná wán yì bú shì zuì zhòng yào de, gǎn qíng shì zuì zhòng yào de. jì xù... |
| [18:59.79] | zhào běn shān: xíng a, fēn le tā. |
| [19:01.91] | liú xiǎo guāng: , wū wū wū wū |
| [19:05.60] | tián wá: bú shì, nǐ gàn shà ya? |
| [19:07.14] | zhào běn shān: gàn shà ne? |
| [19:07.88] | liú xiǎo guāng: wǒ xiǎng nǐ mā le! |
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