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Zappa Frank |
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Cucamonga Years 1962-1964 |
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Letter From Jeepers |
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Doris, get out your poison pen and take a letter. I |
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have to write to Count Dracula. You know he wrote |
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me a letter of that sort... |
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Dear Count Dracula, |
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I am writing to you from Cucamonga... Ha-ha! |
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Cucamonga? The weather is lovely. The nausea |
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of noon. The wind is always blowing and the |
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sun never shines. And it's rainy and damp four |
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hundred days of the year. |
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I enjoyed the party very much. Especially the |
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sumptuous feast you had prepared. It was |
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thrilling. From the first appetizers, the 'Chicken |
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Fried Grub Worms,' on through the dessert, |
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ohhhh... 'Blood Pudding!' Oh, I love 'Blood |
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Pudding!' Oh, yes! It was a masterpiece of |
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culinary skill. |
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Although I... I was worried for a moment when |
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you... you said the main course was... 'Fish and |
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Chips.' We are not THAT plebeian in Cucamonga. |
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But my fears were quickly allayed when I discov- |
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ered to my delight it was 'Silverfish and Buffalo |
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Chips!' Ho-ho! Oh, unique! Oh, they're so |
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squirmy! Oh-ho-ho! Oh, the first one went |
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down easy, but the second one was greasy! |
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Ho-ho-ho...! |
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Oh my... Oh, I'm getting carried away, because |
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I... I really must apologise for getting tipsy and |
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singing. But I have always wanted to be the |
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DEATH of the party. |
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Uh, when you hear the pellets drop, count ten and |
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take a deep breath... |
