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Zappa Frank |
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Miscellaneous |
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A Token Of My Extreme |
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Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals) |
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Warren Cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals) |
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Denny Walley (slide guitar, vocals) |
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Ike Willis (lead vocals) |
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Peter Wolf (keyboards) |
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Arthur Barrow (bass, vocals) |
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Ed Mann (percussion) |
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Vinnie Colaiuta (drums) |
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Arriving at L. Ron Hoover's modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, Joe is greeted by a pre-recorded message and a dramatically illuminated image on a wall-sized TV screen... |
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L. Ron Hoover: |
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Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology! The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only! |
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Don't you be Tarot-fied |
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It's just a token |
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of my extreme |
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Don't you be Tarot-fied |
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It's just a token |
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of my extreme |
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Don't you never try to |
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look behind my eyes |
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You don't wanna know |
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what they have seen |
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Don't you never try to |
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look behind my eyes |
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You don't wanna know |
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what they have seen |
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Joe: (thinking to himself) |
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Some people think |
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That if they go too far |
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They'll never get back |
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To where the rest of |
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them are |
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I might be crazy |
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But there's one thing |
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I know |
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You might be surprised |
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At what you find |
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when ya go! |
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And thus, having ration- alized his expedition to L. Ron's modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, JOE seeks The Answer to his problem... |
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Joe: |
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Oh oh oh |
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Mystical Advisor |
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What is my problem, |
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tell me |
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Can you see? |
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L. Ron Hoover: |
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Well, you have nothing |
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to fear, my son! |
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You are a Latent |
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Appliance Fetishist, |
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It appears to me! |
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Joe: |
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That all seems very, |
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very strange |
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I never craved |
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a toaster |
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Or a color T.V. |
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L. Ron Hoover: |
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A Latent Appliance |
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Fetishist |
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Is a person who |
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refuses to admit |
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to his or herself |
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That sexual |
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gratification can |
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only be achieved |
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Through the use of |
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MACHINES... |
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Get the picture? |
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Joe: |
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Are you telling me |
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I should come out |
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of the closet now |
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Mr. Ron? |
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L. Ron Hoover: |
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No, my son! |
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You must go into |
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THE CLOSET |
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Joe: |
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What? |
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L. Ron Hoover: |
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And you will have |
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Joe: |
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Heh? |
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L. Ron Hoover: |
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Hey! |
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A lot of fun! |
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That's where |
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they all live |
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So if you want an |
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Appliance to love you |
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You'll have to |
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go in there |
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'N' get you one |
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Joe: |
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Well...that seems |
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simple enough... |
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L. Ron Hoover: |
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Yes, but if you want a |
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really GOOD one, |
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You'll have to learn a |
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foreign language... |
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Joe: |
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German, for instance? |
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L. Ron Hoover: |
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That's right... |
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A lot of really cute |
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ones come from |
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over there! |
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(Fifty bucks, please) |
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And a cheerful group of |
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Appliantologists dance |
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into the room wearing |
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aluminum foil lab smocks, |
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lock arms in a circle |
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around JOE, making sure |
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he pays in full, all the |
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while singing with L. RON |
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as he delivers his final |
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instructions... |
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L. Ron Hoover: |
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If you been |
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Mod-O-fied, |
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It's an illusion, |
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an yer in between |
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Don't you be |
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Tarot-fied, |
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It's just a lot of nothin', |
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So what can it mean? |
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If you been |
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Mod-O-fied, |
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It's an illusion, |
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an yer in between |
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Don't you be |
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Tarot-fied, |
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It's just a lot of nothin', |
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So what can it mean? |
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If you been |
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Mod-O-fied, |
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It's an illusion, |
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an yer in between... |