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Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man |
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The kind of man you'd never disrespect |
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He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck |
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He ate his own weight in coal, excreted diamonds everyday |
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He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you still would love him anyway |
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Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway |
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Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain |
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He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry, I'm telling you the man was insane |
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He could rip out your beating heart, and show it to you before you died |
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Everyday he' make the host of Match Game give him a piggyback ride |
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Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene |
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Ninja warrior, master of disguise |
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He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, Oh yeah |
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Oh yeah |
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He had his own line at the DMV |
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He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee |
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Oh yeah |
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Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya |
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Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings |
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As a potent aphrodisiac |
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He ran a four minute mile blindfolded |
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With an engine block strapped to his back |
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He could eat more frozen waffles |
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Then any other man I know |
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Once he fell off the Chrysler building |
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And he barely even stubbed his toe |
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Had a tiny little scratch on his toe |
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Didn't even hurt |
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Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion, but he never ever told a soul |
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I've seen the man unhinge his jaw, and swallow a Volkswagen whole |
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He'd bash your face in with a shovel if you didn't treat him like a star |
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You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman's cape |
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But Lord knows you don't mess around with CNR |
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No, no, no |
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Talkin' about CNR |