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What a surpriser |
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Open your eyes, a |
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Woman advisor |
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The name of this entertainment is |
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Women lose weight |
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Our first years of marriage everything was just great |
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But after two kids |
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And the weight gain factors |
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Fact is, now she's completely unattractive |
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Look, fat chicks |
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I don't mean to sound rude |
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I tell her nice, hit the gym |
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And don't eat so much food |
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But no... |
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\"You're shallow |
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You need to run the course of unconditional love and so forth\" |
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But how if desire's not there |
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That's just delayment |
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Divorces, child support, alimony payments |
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My unhappiness I doubt discourage |
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So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage |
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Meanwhile my secretary June, well groomed |
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\"When you gonna leave your wife?\" |
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I tell her soon, mommy, soon, I assume |
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Or my destiny is blue |
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Interestingly |
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The only thing left for me to do is to kill her |
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What a surpriser |
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Open your eyes, a |
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Woman advisor |
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I'm gonna have to kill her |
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Course there's laws which enforces divorces |
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Send that ass right to the morgue miss |
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Kill her |
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What a surprise |
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Open your eyes |
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Woman advisor |
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I'm gonna have to kill her |
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Course there's laws which enforces divorces |
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Send that ass right to the morgue miss |
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My plans against or shenanigans |
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Kinda ran thin |
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Knowin' nothing about poisoning |
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And I cant swim |
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Bad intentions pumping |
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Might as well become numb |
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Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong |
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But the catch is, do I have the nerve to dispatch this |
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Who can I get to help me murder this fat chick |
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Guess I'll have to play a dude robbin' on wednesday |
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The day she usually goes food shopping |
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Anyway, long story short, hit the side of her Chrysler |
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Sent her clean over the divider |
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\"You bastard!\" she said as the wreck went tumblin' down the hill |
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I thought, \"She has to be dead\" |
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Later on get a call |
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(from a) Lieutenant O'Rourke |
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(had me) leapin like a frog |
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We need you at the morgue |
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So I selfishly pursued |
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\"Boo-hoo\" there was nothing else for me to do, I had to kill her |
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What a surpriser |
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Open your eyes, a |
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Woman advisor |
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C'mon y'all, you know I had to kill her |
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Course there's laws which enforces divorces |
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Send that ass right to the morgue miss |
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Kill her |
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What a surpriser |
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Open your eyes, a |
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Woman advisor |
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I had to kill her |
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Course there's laws which enforces divorces |
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Send her ass right to the morgue miss |
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So you mean to tell me officer you don't have no clue who did this hit and run? |
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No sir we don't have no clues right now |
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This is terrible, what am I gonna tell the kids? |
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Pull yourself together, sir |
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I'm so broken up inside, I just can't believe this |
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I understand, I understand |
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Catch the person who did this |
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We're gonna try sir |
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Please |
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Screamin' \"Who done took my heart?\" actin' shooken up a lot |
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At the funeral, though everyone was lookin at me odd, like I did it |
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Like I was the reason my mate's slain, murmuring |
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\"I heard he was displeased with her weight gain\" |
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While my secretary, sort of a sexy blonde can't cook |
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All she does is order from restaurants |
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\"All of the sex you want\" |
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I doubt could address, clothes not washed proper and house look a mess and |
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Talkin to detectives that was waitin' outside |
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How I took a long lunch break day the wife died |
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I darn near turned pale |
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And because of betrayal they indicted me, gave me an impossible bail |
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Good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent |
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Moral of the story is |
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Desire is important |
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So watch your weight |
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It'll keep you mate smitten it's a given |
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Though looking back I realised I didn't have to kill her |
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What a surpriser |
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Open your eyes, a |
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Woman advisor |
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I didn't have to kill her |
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Course there's laws which enforces divorces |
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Send that ass right to the morgue miss |
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I killed her |
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What a surpriser |
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Open your eyes, a |
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Woman advisor |
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I didn't have to kill her |
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Course there's laws which enforces divorces |
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Send that ass right to the morgue miss |
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Well there you have it |
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Keep thin trim |
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Keep your marriage healthy |
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Do you know what I mean? |
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Small message from Morcheeba and Slick Rick the Ruler |
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Peace |