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To study the behavior patterns of the human race |
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And I find them highly illogical |
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Girl meets boy they fall in love |
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She says he's everything she's dreamed of |
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But when they get married before he's aware |
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She changes his habits the way he combs his hair |
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She changes him to someone he's never been |
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And then complains he's not like other men |
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Now really I find this most illogical |
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Take the case of your automobiles |
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Greatest invention since man discovered wheels |
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Hydromatic overdrive four-on-the-floor |
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Pushbutton windows pushbutton doors |
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Double barreled carburetors rush you anyplace |
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But you never can find a parking space |
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Highly illogical |
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Take the case of modern man |
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He works all his life gives it all he can |
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Saves all his money works overtime |
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Pinches every penny banks every dime |
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All he can think about is money but you know |
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That he can't take it with him where he's going to go |
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Now I find that fascinatingly illogical |
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Now is the time to journey home to tell of what I've learned |
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My people I believe have every right to be concerned |
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For in spite of computers and advanced psychology |
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Behavior patterns are still a mystery |
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I predict the future of this earthly human race |
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Is that having made a mess of earth, they'll move to outer space |
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Well, there goes the neighborhood |
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Totally, completely, absolutely, irrevocably, highly illogical |